I (46F) have two kids 16M and 14F. My son is into photography, and has been at it since 7th grade (he’s going to be a senior this year). So my daughter and her friends slept over last weekend, and I guess they were messing around with my son’s camera, and one of them dropped it. It broke. My son was really mad when he found out, and I told him I would get him a new one.
Fast forward a day and my daughter is telling me her Macbooks broken. Just the screen is cracked, there’s a dent in the keyboard. I already knew my son did it on purpose. After finding that out (he admitted it when asked), I told him that A) He was grounded, and B) He wasn’t going that camera. Also that I’m keeping what I would give him for allowance until I have enough to buy her a new laptop.
My husband thinks that I should at least still buy him the camera. AITA? My son is even more mad and won’t talk to me.
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I (46F) have two kids 16M and 14F. My son is into photography, and has been at it since 7th grade (he’s going to be a senior this year). So my daughter and her friends slept over last weekend, and I guess they were messing around with my son’s camera, and one of them dropped it. It broke. My son was really mad when he found out, and I told him I would get him a new one.
Fast forward a day and my daughter is telling me her Macbooks broken. Just the screen is cracked, there’s a dent in the keyboard. I already knew my son did it on purpose. After finding that out (he admitted it when asked), I told him that A) He was grounded, and B) He wasn’t going that camera. Also that I’m keeping what I would give him for allowance until I have enough to buy her a new laptop.
My husband thinks that I should at least still buy him the camera. AITA? My son is even more mad and won’t talk to me.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
ESH idk how i really feel but just to make up for it have brother use his allowance towards MacBook and sister towards new camera maybe?
INFO: Was daughter punished at all? Did she and her friends have his permission to be “messing around” with his camera?
NTA. Why would he get a camera if he broke his sister’s laptop as revenge (considering you’d already told him you’d replace it for him and you i expect punished your daughter)?
Best case is either neither of them gets a replacement, or they both do.
Your son broke the laptop out of anger, and of course that’s wrong, but rewarding your daughter by buying her a new laptop when she broke something that wasn’t hers is kinda messed up.
ESH, help your son buy a new camera by going 50/50 as punishment. And make your daughter pay 50/50 for her new laptop.
Neither kids should have their items replaced. YWBTA if you replace the computer and not the camera.
If anything, maybe your son can work to replace his sisters computer, and when that happens you can replace his camera as promised.
INFO: HOW do you know the son is at fault? And was the daughter punished for breaking the camera?
What sort of punishment did the daughter get when they broke your son’s camera?
YTA. Both your son and daughter are also in the wrong, but you are punishing your son and not your daughter.
The fair thing to do would be to punish them both and withhold their allowance until you can replace both the camera and the MacBook.
Info: Are you planning to replace the laptop your son broke? And not the camera your daughter broke?
INFO: Are you taking the money out of your daughter’s allowance for the camera I bet they did t have permission to touch. What he did was wrong but he is 16 and she broke his property.
INFO – Hold up, why does the sister get a new laptop but the son doesn’t get a new camera? Okay, she broke his camera accidentally and he broke her laptop deliberately, but she wasn’t supposed to be messing with his stuff.
He is being punished for breaking the laptop, but it seems like she’s not being punished for breaking the camera.
ESH. Both of their allowances should be going towards the items they damaged. Your son did it on purpose and deserves to be punished. Your daughter is old enough to know not to touch other people’s things and certainly not to share that item with their friends. She should also be punished, but I see you never mentioned that.
As it stands ESH. The daughter shouldn’t have been messing with his camera.
And the son retaliating by breaking a laptop is a worse.
Neither should have nice things.
Brats
Whoever broke the camera, have them pay for it and have your son pay for laptop repair. 🤷♀️
Let me guess, the daughter is the golden child who can do no wrong? No wonder your son felt the need to get back at his sister himself. How did you protect his stuff to begin with?? Did daughter get grounded at all for playing around and breaking HIS things? Doesn’t sound like it. Stop playing favorites! Yes, YTA.
ESH. Both of your kids did wrong. The difference is that the camera is destroyed, and it sounds like the laptop is not. Plus, your son acted in retaliation, and your daughter just… decided that she and her friends could steal her brothers camera.
Either pay for both, half of each, or neither, but your son is not the only one in the wrong here.
Your heart is in the right place here – you’re trying to teach accountability and fairness, which are crucial lessons. Your son’s anger and silence are painful, but they’re also pretty normal reactions when a teenager feels the consequences don’t match their sense of justice.
Let me reflect back what I’m seeing: Your son lost something precious to him through an accident that wasn’t his fault, then acted out of that hurt by deliberately damaging his sister’s property. You’re now withholding what he was promised while requiring him to pay for her laptop replacement. I can understand why he feels doubly punished.
Here’s what might be worth considering – your son’s destructive choice came from a place of real loss and frustration. That doesn’t excuse it, but it explains it. A 16-year-old who’s been passionate about photography for years just lost his primary creative outlet through no fault of his own. That’s genuinely devastating.
Your husband might be onto something. What if you approached this differently? You could still hold your son accountable for the laptop (whether through allowance deductions or extra chores), but honor your original promise about the camera. This teaches him that destructive retaliation has consequences, but that your word as his parent remains solid even when he makes mistakes.
Consider having a conversation where you acknowledge his loss first: “I know losing your camera really hurt, and I understand why you were so angry. But breaking your sister’s laptop wasn’t the answer.” Then explain that you’re still getting his camera because you promised, but he’ll need to make things right with his sister.
This approach teaches accountability without adding punishment to injury, and it models that relationships can be repaired even after we mess up.
I would say make both of them pay for 50% of each other’s replacement since they are both at fault now for breaking one another’s stuff. Soely letting your daughter off the hook is only going to permit such actions and also create a lot of resentment buildup in your son. Just my opinion though and there isn’t one right way to parent.
It was stupid of him to retaliate by breaking her MacBook. They both should pay for each other’s items. Hold back both kids allowance. Your son should have some extra punishment because he broke it after you said his would be replaced. I’m sure you could find something suitable. Hopefully they learn not to touch each other’s property.
Breaking something out of anger/revenge in response to an accident is not okay.
That said, I don’t think there is enough information about what happened with the camera. Did they have permission to use it? Who broke it? The friend or your daughter? If the friend, did your daughter attempt to stop her friend from using it?
Edit: pressed reply by accident
I was going to say that answers to the above questions will determine who should be paying for what here.
Your son should absolutely have to work to pay for a new laptop for your daughter. Depending on the answers to the above questions, your daughter should have to work to pay for some or all the expenses for a new camera for your son.
Also forgot to say YWNBTA if you hold BOTH children accountable. Even if the camera was loaned out and broken entirely by accident, it’s still up to the person who damaged it to replace it fully or partially.
INFO: what consequences, if any, was your daughter getting for breaking the camera?
YTA. Daughter and Son should both be punished. Daughter was messing with stuff that wasn’t hers.
Perhaps as someone else suggested, they should each by the other a replacement item.
They both need to help replace or fix both.
ESH. I am not well versed in the costs of Macbooks (I know they are expensive) or professional cameras (I know they are also expensive). But would it be a wash, cost to replace, at this point? As in, the cost of the broken camera is the same/close to the cost of the MacBook? At this point the only person who would be out of money to replace either object is you, and what lesson do either of them learn when they feel no serious consequences for breaking expensive equipment (ie having them pay to replace it)? Shouldn’t they both just use whatever money they can earn to replace their own tech?
If there is a major difference between the costs of the two items you might consider some way to make the child with the higher replacement costs whole. This act should be performed by the other child, not you. They are both old enough to know not to mess with others stuff, or that extracting revenge is a fools game.
Everyone, except maybe your husband, sucks here.
YTA. Teach girl not to play with other people’s toys. Teach boy two wrongs don’t make a right. They are both too old to need to be taught this. Preschool was a long time ago. Why didn’t you parent them?
Both your kids suck and broke each other’s things. Is she grounded and not getting allowance until you can replace his camera? If not, why?
YTA Your son should be punished for deliberately breaking the computer, but your daughter is not any better. She knew she and her friends shouldn’t be touching his camera. It was broken because they were messing around with it when they had no right to touch it at all without permission. Your daughter’s actions weren’t innocent, unless the camera were taken by the friend behind her back without her knowledge (presumably that is not the case, or you would have said so).
Your son was owed a replacement camera. His breaking the computer deliberately was wrong. I can see you telling him that now he doesn’t get a replacement — but your daughter is still in the position of having broken his camera through her decisions and actions surrounding it. She isn’t suddenly only a victim.
Either they both get replacements, under certain conditions with them still getting punished, or neither get replacements and are told that is their punishment.
If the daughter’s mistake was genuinely accidental and didnt involve any major disobedience, NTA.
If she was explicitly told not to touch the camera and did so, still NTA but your daughter should be punished along with your son.
If your son truly destroyed the MacBook out of pure spite, that is the worse action in this whole situation. You can’t let him think that’s okay. He was getting a replacement camera if he could control his anger. Now he isn’t. Lesson learned. Two wrongs dont make a right is a critical lesson that honestly a 16 year old should already know. Petty spite is a character trait that should be nipped in the bud at all costs.
If your son demonstrates true remorse or apologizes or seems to realize what he did was wrong, I’d tell him he doesn’t get a new camera then surprise him with one. Let him stew in “I fucked up” land for a bit, but its a happy ending and a reward for apologizing. If all he does is pout for weeks, he hasn’t learned.
As for the daughter, from a practical standpoint a screen cracked is much cheaper than a new laptop or probably even a new camera. It’d be a shame to let a $1500-2000 laptop go to waste over a couple hundred dollar repair.
I was very similar to your son (16 yr old me would have gotten an eye for an eye tattoo) and all the times I remember “getting even” with my sibling I regret. My parents were right to punish me for those. Your son will come around eventually. Raising someone you can be proud of is more important than your son liking you, though I know that’s easier said than done.
INFO: What consequences is your daughter having for breaking your son’s camera?
Him breaking her macbook in anger is bad, but so is her & her friends playing with and breaking his camera.
She’s old enough to understand that you don’t play with someone’s things, especially something that is expensive or precious to them. They should both be paying to replace what the broke. He should have a harsher total punishment, but she needs to be punished too.
Did your son break the laptop because your daughter and her friends broke his camera?
Did either one of them have permission to use each of the items?
Why is your daughter not being grounded for breaking the camera?
Are either of the items needed to use for school or work?
I should say your son should be mad.
ESH
Is she getting punished for breaking the camera? I think that he should pay for the damages to the laptop and she should pay for the camera. They both should be punished, your son more because he did it on purpose though.
Don’t get him a camera but DEFINITELY don’t get her a laptop. She let her friends touch something that wasn’t theirs or hers and he lashed out. He’s still a teenager. A kid. They do things like that. He absolutely should not have done that, But she’s also old enough to not mess with other people’s things. If you get her a laptop, it shouldn’t be as an expensive one and same for the camera. But I just wouldn’t get either of them anything
YTA you obviously love your daughter more than your son. He’s going to remember that so good job mom
Your family is fillef with assholes
Daughter and her friends break son’s camera, and OP is totally fine with this. Zero consequences for daughter taking his camera and breaking it.
Son breaks daughters laptop. You take away his allowance. NOW there’s consequences?
Guess we know who OP’s favorite is
YTA
Why was your daughter not grounded?
Why was your daughter not responsible for buying your son a new camera?
Why was she even playing with it in the first place?
Perhaps if your daughter had suffered any consequences at all, your son might not have been so angry?
Punishing one child and not the other is a problem. Each child should have to contribute the same amount of money towards a replacement. If that amount is zero, then it’s zero for both.
Separate rules and consequences for each child is not the answer. This sounds very much like you favouring your daughter over your son and you getting upset that he has noticed and is upset by it.
Did you punish your daughter equally after her and her friends dropped and broke his camera? Or did you brush it off as it being an accident so there were no consequences for her?
YWBTA
Your son is a teenager who acts out without thinking. Yes he broke his sister’s laptop, but he just lost his most precious creative tool that is pivotal to his hobby that he may want to transform into a career. Also yes you had originally agreed to pay for a new camera but did you punish your daughter in any way after she used his personal special property without permission? And you did promise to pay for the camera. I would say with the new thing of him breaking her laptop that that justifies him paying for a part of the new camera, but fully walking back on your original promise of getting a new camera would create a lot of resentment for both you and the your daughter. Both need to be punished, but you can’t outright walk back on your original promise. Especially if he’s going into his senior year and wants to go to school for photography.
They should each pay to replace/fix the others’ item. And you and dad need to be aligned behind closed doors so the kids see a unified front. Otherwise, you will have entitled kids and a bad marriage.
Yta.
Full out. There is no esh. Yta.
Your daughter took something, not hers, and broke it. That isn’t an accident. That is theft. But you do not say you will ground her. Take her allowance until it’s paid. So she has no consequences and gets to be the spoiled child.
Your ground and take his allowance. You deny him a replacement when she started this by taking property, not hers. Are you surprised he broke her computer.
Clearly, you have a favorite. Clearly, you do not treat them the same. Why would he just accept what amounts to you teaching them both. She can take and break whatever she wants, and there are no consequences for her. But him. He is held to be bad because she can do no wrong.
Had her and her friend taken your phone. Your huebands. And broke it. Would she still be given a free pass. When she takes something from a friend. A classmate. The school and the same thing. Will you still give her a free pass. Because right now you are a crappy parent.
Your teaching your daughter actions have no consequences to her. You are setting her up to be beaten. Sued. Jailed. All because she thinks rules and laws don’t apply to her.
You are teaching your son. Your love is conditional. Either to sex or when born. But that you won’t treat him the same. That you don’t love him as much. That he can’t trust or depend on you. Especially if it concerns his sister. Don’t be surprised when he is of age. You are all cut out of his life. Because he sure deserves better.
NTA. Your son deliberately broke your daughter’s computer. Your daughter accidentally broke his camera. I am sure she was probably told not to touch it and did so anyway. However, that doesn’t excuse his vengeful behavior. Your daughter should be paying for his camera repairs/new camera. Your son should be paying for the computer repairs/new computer.
Your KIDS need to replace or repair the items they broke, not you.
I see your point of view, which is that the daughter accidentally broke the camera, while your son deliberately broke the laptop.
However, the daughter should be punished just as much because she played with something that she knew wasn’t hers and presumably knew was precious to your son. And she broke it. She should have to pay for a new camera, or at least part of it.
Meanwhile, your son reacted out of anger and purposely broke the laptop. He should also be punished and have to pay for the laptop or at least part of it.
Leaving others’ possessions alone and learning how to not react in anger are both important lessons, and this is an opportunity for you to teach both of those lessons to both of your kids.
If you decide to only punish your son, then 100% YTA
YTA. Are you keeping your daughter’s allowance until she replaces her brother’s camera she broke?
Seems your son knows who is the favourite child.
YTA for not holding your daughter accountable. Both allowances should be garnished to replace the others items. Both should be grounded and both need to be working off their ‘debt’ by doing extra chores around the house. Your daughter claims she ‘accidentally’ broke the camera but she was messing with it knowing it was wrong. It was a choice and a wrong one. Your son retaliated likely rightly assuming there would be no actual consequences for your daughter and tired of being your only kid to be punished.
YTA. You’re not punishing your daughter at all? Just rewarding her behavior and getting her another laptop?? Crazy behavior. Of course your son isn’t talking to you and he’ll stay not talking to you for years if you keep playing favorites. They need to be equally punished
Yta. Daughter gets laptop, son gets nothing. I think a better option is that both children have to do EXTRA chores to earn money to replace the item they broke. Daughter buys camera. Son buys laptop. Both must purchase exact same item as that which was broken.
YTA, maybe.
Did the daughter have permission from the son to play with his camera? I understand that dropping it was an accident but that’s the exact reason why she shouldn’t be touching things she doesn’t have permission to touch. If this is something like an expensive DSLR camera, then those 14yos probably don’t know how to hold/handle it in such a way that would keep it from breaking. There needs to be some sort of consequence for her actions if she didn’t have permission from the camera’s owner to use it. If she did have permission, well yeah that’s kinda on the son since he himself wasn’t being careful enough to avoid mishandling. But that’s lesson learned.
Yes, his intentional breaking of her things carries a heftier punishment than her accidental breaking of his things but the broken camera is not HIS consequence.
Since it doesn’t sound like she got a punishment, I think your son was more mad that she did it and got away with it than the actual breaking. You already told him you were going to replace it, so unless the memory card was damaged and he lost all his photos (BIG punishment for her if she broke it that badly), there’s no reason why he would be getting back at her. And given that he admitted he broke the computer straight away, it kinda sounds like he feels justified in his behavior.
The expensiveness of the items don’t matter, at least to kids these ages, so the consequences shouldn’t reflect that. But the daughter does need to learn the difference between a toy and a delicate piece of technology and should probably be grounded. But son should still get his camera replaced. Maybe he should do her chores or something to make up for his behavior plus being grounded, but if you can afford it both items are replaced.
YTA. Hold up here. She is getting a new laptop (out of his allowance at that) but he isn’t getting a new camera out of her discretionary money? That is not fair or right. Either neither one of them get a replacement item or they both do.
Hold up, does the daughter have any consequences for her actions. Brother acting out looks like this isn’t the first time he has been wronged. I would say YTA for now until more info is given.
YTA. Where is the daughter’s punishment?
INFO: Why was the camera in your daughter and her friends possesion when it broke? Where they given premission by him to use it? Did she ever give him an apology for breaking his camera even if it was accident? How do you know that the breaking of the camera wasnt done on purpose?
I am not saying that it is at all ok for him to have broken the laptop as revenge but, I feel you are underplaying the situation with camera and your daughter.
Both should get the items replaced or neither of them should. They both broke the other items, rather on purpose or by accident and it is unfair for the daughter to get a new item and the son not. However, I think it is fair of you to make him pay back the money for something he broke on purpose.
Yta for punishing your son twice and not your daughter at all.
He’s out his camera and he has to pay to repair the laptop.
Your daughter may not have intentionally broken his camera but she took something that wasn’t hers and was reckless enough with it to break it. Given that you were replacing the camera instead of holding your daughter accountable for breaking it, are you really surprised he went looking for payback? I’m not.
Both kids deserve to be punished. Him for retaliation after you told him you would remedy the situation, her for taking her friends into his room, messing with his things, and breaking his camera. At that age to have such a passion/hobby like photography instead of just doom scrolling social media or disappeared into online gaming, he is mot likely feeling overwhelmed and now feels like his ability to express himself artistically has been taken away from him by forces outside of his control.
I am going to go out on a limb and guess that your declaration that you would replace the camera was nebulous, that there was no urgency or immediacy in your tone when attempting to deescalate the situation. Or, that there is possibly a history of these things happening, and your history of response to him has been inconsistent, leading him to seek justice on his own.
Any allowance withheld from him to go towards the new computer should also be withheld from her to replace the camera. Anything less will be perceived as favoritism.
If you’re keeping his allowance until you have enough to buy a laptop, you better keep her allowance until you have enough to buy a camera. Make both of them pay for what they broke or neither pays. You didn’t mention any punishment for the daughter breaking the sons camera first, so I’m smelling some favoritism. Resentment will fester towards both you and your daughter if it hasn’t already. Be careful. Your daughter, accident or not, broke something precious to your son, then you took his ability to go out, and his allowance. While it was wrong for him to break her laptop out of revenge, it was also wrong of her to touch and allow her friends to touch what wasn’t theirs. You can’t tell me you can’t see your own biases.
He loses his camera, freedom, allowance. (Triple punishment)
She gets to watch her brother pay for her laptop and get off free after breaking his camera, keeping her allowance, and not even a slap on the wrist from what I can tell by this post. (Sounds more like a reward, no?)
If you go through with what you’re planning, you are absolutely TA.
The only fair way to go about this, that I can see, at least, is that they both get grounded and lose allowance until they replace the items they broke, or neither gets a replacements and that’s the punishment.
ESH but YTA especially. Both kids did something wrong. Only one of your kids is being punished for doing something wrong. Not only is your son the only one being punished for doing something wrong, he is being punished twice by not only having to help pay for the laptop but also losing his camera. Both kids broken items should be replaced and neither should be getting their allowance until the items are paid off. Accountability needs to be taught for both kids. Your daughter needs to learn to not touch others things and to replace them if they are broken. Your son needs to learn that he just can’t retaliate when someone wrongs him. Your husband is correct and your son has every right to be upset with you for showing blatant favoritism.
YTA. You and the entire family.
Nope, you are behaving exactly as you should. I would get him into therapy though as that is really over the top anger wise for a 16 year old and crossing the odd line and over to very concerning, especially as they did it accidentally and you said you would replace it. So seems like an extreme anger flare to a situation that was being fixed. I hope you were going to make your daughter pay you back.
updateme
ESH but you’re the biggest asshole in this situation.
Your son shouldn’t have retaliated, but I see no mention of your daughter being punished for breaking his camera.
The fair thing to do would be your daughter works to replace the camera and your son works to fix the laptop.
I’d be taking a good long look at your relationship with each child cause right now you very much sound like you favor your daughter.
Wow. Girl = bad. Boy = innocent victim.
No, she should not have taken his camera without permission. He damaged her laptop intentionally. OP is stuck with the bill for both. Kids suck, sorry OP.
YTA don’t replace either item
-Daughter was at fault for taking and breaking the camera (she’s old enough to know someone else’s expensive electronics should be out while sleepover crazies are happening)
-Son was at fault for breaking the laptop
-both get a punishment by not having either item replaced by you
-either continue both of their allowances and they can replace their own devices OR hold both of their allowances until you can replace both electronics at the same time
YTA – congratulations! You’re an AH and you’re raising AH kids. Good job!
ETA: Your son’s retaliation is a visceral response to your inaction with regards to your daughter messing with and breaking his camera. Why did you not punish your daughter? Is she the golden child?
I’m wondering if your son retaliated because your daughter is always taking and damaging his things.
You said you’d replace the camera but you did not say when you would replace it, were you making your son wait and not replacing it straight away?
YTA as you’re treating your children differently, both damaged the others things but only your son is being punished.
You can tell who your fav is. Yta.
Yoo hoo OP!!! Where did you go? Realizing how one sided you are being?
YTA
YTA, obviously. How can you even come on here with this false sense of superiority?
If you gonna replace the daughters laptop, you should replace his camera too. If you don’t that might kill his passion for photography on the long term, I don’t think that’s worth the lesson, but perhaps he should pay for both from his allowance/ and if he has a job or any other money. This could teach him the lesson not to intentionally break something valuable.
FuckAI BOT bullshit
YTA You told him that you’d buy a new camera?
Your daughter’s AH friend broke your son’s camera. The camera and his photography focus has been important to him for years.
Why aren’t you holding your daughter, her shitty friend and family; not responsible for expensive equipment they broke?
YTA unless you were going to hold your daughter accountable for the original accident. She’s 14, not 4, and should know that messing with fragile items comes with the risk of breaking them and is hurtful to the owner. Your complete lack of acknowledgement of this suggests to your son that it’s not important to you that his sister respects his space and his stuff.
So you set the example that breaking stuff is unimportant and it can just be fixed by throwing money at it.
Changing your mind about that when you see the consequences of that attitude reflected back to you is deeply unfair.
YTA Don’t buy either of them. If you purchase these items, they realize they can just break things to get new ones. You should never say that you would replace it.
Your daughter shouldn’t touch her brother’s belongings( especially expensive ones). She should have been grounded, and the girl who broke it should pay for a new camera. If she does not pay, she will no longer be allowed over and daughter should pay for it instead because these girls are old enough to know better.
Son shouldn’t be breaking things so he should be grounded and have to pay for his sister’s MacBook.
YTA, replace both and make him pay for the laptop.
YTA.
You’re setting yourself up to be NC with your son.
Take this from someone who has been NC with their mother for 20 years.
This exact treatment right here.
YTA sounds like you have a favorite child
Yta. So tell me more about how your daughter is your favorite? What punishment did she get for breaking his item? Yes he should be held accountable for breaking the laptop but three pretty severe punishments for him and a new laptop for her seems to be super unfair to me.
Also sounds like both kids could you a lesson on the value of a dollar. Make them earn the money to replace the items.
That is extreme. Yta replace his camera and explain to your daughter that being irresponsible with her brother stuff i there is consequences. I understand grounding him, but not replacing something that wasn’t his fault is really unfair. That is horrible way to breed resentment.
YTA.
You’re punishing one but, letting the other one go without any repercussions.
INFO – Did the daughter receive any punishment for this? Has something like this happened before.
Right now it reads like you are raising two kids who damage others property out of negligence or spite.
Context matters, because all we see here is:
You can see the imbalance right? If the daughter isn’t getting a punishment I would ask, has she ever?
INFO- Did your daughter get any consequences for breaking her brother’s camera?
MTA.. Seems fair.. he would have had it replaced. Then did the stupid.
YTA
I wonder who the golden child is in YOUR family.
Info, please
I assume your son’s camera was in his room. If so, your daughter went into HIS room (with her friends?), STOLE HIS camera from his room & broke it? What were HER consequences from you for her trespass, theft & property damage?
One seems like an accident (camera dropped) the other was intentional (broke the laptop). It is a tough situation, but your son needs to learn that his actions have consequences. At 16 he should know better!
YTA- both kids should be grounded and both kids should work off to save what they broke. It’s on you to raise them to the consequences of their actions and how to constructively work through feelings of anger towards siblings and toward parents who treat one sibling one way and another the other way. If it wasn’t your daughter who broke the camera, find out who it was and get their parents to reimburse you. If she won’t tell you who it was then she can take one for the team and bite the punishment. But your daughter so no repercussions from breaking the camera but your son was both grounded and allowance docked. Please look to your own behaviour to understand your son’s. What he did wasn’t right, but he probably felt that she got away Scot free which it sounds like she did. I would have been pissed off too as a kid.
ESH. Your daughter for messing with her brother’s camera, your son for breaking her MacBook, and you for not punishing them both equally. It rather clear from the way you wrote this post that you favor your daughter over your son. After all you made it a key point to mention punishing him and not your daughter.
Take a look at it from your son’s perspective for a moment. A prized possession of yours was destroyed, something you cherished deeply, by someone who should full well know not to touch it. Then you go to a person you trust to deal with the situation and they nonchalantly brushing your justified anger. They say they’ll just buy you another one and let the who broke it go on their merry way, with no consequences to speak off.
And before you say you did punish her the very fact your daughter still had her Macbook or that she left her room longer enough for this to happen proves otherwise. If your daughter did this to a random person the police would have been called.
You could just withhold both of their allowances until both of their things are replaced. Like yes he broke her MacBook on purpose, but a the same time, at 14 yrs old you know to not mess with an expensive camera and she should also be held responsible
Have you always liked your daughter more than your son? They were both wrong so either replace both or neither. YTA
nta your daughter broke the camara by accident and you were going to buy him a new one.
he broke the laptop on purpose after he was told he was getting a new camara and so deserves to be punished