I, 35f lost my dad out of the blue. It was a complete shock. He had a vehicle he loved, and my mom decided it was to go to me. However, I had an old vehicle with 300k miles but otherwise in good condition that I needed to sell before I could take his. My mom agreed to hang on to it for 2 months so I could try to sell my car. I listed it for sale and was contacted by my cousins adult kid who needed a car. I offered them a discount since they were family, but they said they didn’t have the money right then and asked if I could give at least a week for them to get the money together. I said okay no problem. Over a week comes and goes. They contact me again saying that they had no way of getting the money by the time I needed to sell it and to go ahead and relist it and if I sold it great, but in the meantime they would try to come up with the money and let me know. I ended up selling the car. So my cousin messaged me after and asked why I sold it when I promised it to their kid. I responded that I never promised anything, only that I would sell it to them but that I couldn’t wait indefinitely because I needed it gone. I told them about the message saying to go ahead and sell it if I needed to, but again they responded it was really crappy of me to do that knowing their kid needed a car and I would have gotten the money eventually. My mom really needed to get the vehicle off her insurance quickly and i was running out of time. AITA?
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I, 35f lost my dad out of the blue. It was a complete shock. He had a vehicle he loved, and my mom decided it was to go to me. However, I had an old vehicle with 300k miles but otherwise in good condition that I needed to sell before I could take his. My mom agreed to hang on to it for 2 months so I could try to sell my car. I listed it for sale and was contacted by my cousins adult kid who needed a car. I offered them a discount since they were family, but they said they didn’t have the money right then and asked if I could give at least a week for them to get the money together. I said okay no problem. Over a week comes and goes. They contact me again saying that they had no way of getting the money by the time I needed to sell it and to go ahead and relist it and if I sold it great, but in the meantime they would try to come up with the money and let me know. I ended up selling the car. So my cousin messaged me after and asked why I sold it when I promised it to their kid. I responded that I never promised anything, only that I would sell it to them but that I couldn’t wait indefinitely because I needed it gone. I told them about the message saying to go ahead and sell it if I needed to, but again they responded it was really crappy of me to do that knowing their kid needed a car and I would have gotten the money eventually. My mom really needed to get the vehicle off her insurance quickly and i was running out of time. AITA?
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Not at all. People are just entitled.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I sold my car to a random person even though my cousin wanted to buy it. My cousin really needed a car but had no money and I really needed the car gone.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. No money? No car. That’s how it works.
NTA – your cousin feels like the AH (for whatever reason) and is trying to place the blame. I am sorry about the loss of your dad.
Nta. It was your car and you did what you wanted with it.
NTA
If your cousin needed it so badly for their adult child, then they should have given you the money for the car and let their child pay them back. That’s not on you, they were just trying to take advantage and get something for free. You can’t be expected to wait around and possibly lose the opportunity to sell your car.
NTA, they are!!
Never sell a used car to family. Ever. Ever!
Something will always happen. And the seller will lose. Family will think he’s charging too much. We didn’t hold it on long enough for them to pay you. Or you should have given it to them and they would pay you with installments and you would never see the money.
Nta
Sorry about the loss of your dad. But yeah, no money, no car. NTA. Hope they get their shit together.
NTA. Your cousin is expecting more from you than is reasonable. Just because you are family does not mean you have to sacrifice your needs and plans. You offered a discount, you waited, you and your cousin’s child are on the same page about it with no hard feelings, it would seem. She’s the only one having an issue here.
Meh NTA easily. I could smell the argument coming a mile away when they said Oh let us borrow your car for now and then pay you back later. And then they’re “shocked” that you sold it to get back the money you need which they were not about to give it to you. Even after a week they had no plan at all. Let’s be honest I don’t think they were planning to pay at all, they just wanted to keep borrowing indefinitely
Avg r/AmItheAsshole post be like: “Dear Diarrhea… I’m the biggest FUCKIN’ loser… in the whole WORLD!”
NTA, OP gave the cousin a discount and extra time to come up with the money and when the extra time elapsed the cousin still couldn’t come up with the money. OP did all he could do to sell it o his cousin, as OP also had a time factor to deal with.
If the cousin’s parent really needed him to have that car, the parent should’ve coughed up some funds.
OP did nothing wrong in the instance.
You gave them a week to come up with the money.
They couldn’t make it, so they told you to go ahead and sell it if you could.
Now, their parent is giving you grief about it?
Tell them that “they’d get the money eventually” doesn’t pay the bills.
You are absolutely NTA.
Very sorry for the loss of your father.
NTA, but with a caveat. It sounds like your cousin’s kid is understanding of the situation, and it’s just your cousin who has an issue with this. Also, you and your mom were on a time crunch.
That said, if it were me, and if I were reasonably confident that cousin’s kid was going to get the money at some point, AND I wasn’t pressed for money myself, I probably would have “sold” them the car for whatever they currently have, and tried to work out some sort of payment plan for the rest with the help of your cousin.
But honestly, that’s just me — I don’t know your family situation and I’m probably the waaaaaay too trusting sort. I know I’ve lost quite a bit of money on “loans” to “friends,” ha.
NTA. You communicated, got a go-ahead from your cousin to sell the car.
A compromise could have been having the cousinnwork with his parents (your aunt and uncle?) and maybe after that they take over insurance while cousin gets the money. Risky if he’s driving the car on your mom’s insurance, but maybe that’s a path forward. In any case, that would be something for your cousin to work out. Anyway, car’s sold and it’s done. You are NTA.
NTA – cousin might be upset but there was nothing in the messaging that said you’d get your money eventually. Considering the messages were all between you and the cousin’s kid, cousin stuck his nose in too little too late. If he wanted his kid to have it, he should have told his kid ‘tell (your cousin) that I said we promise to purchase and she’ll get hte asking price’. That would have been a different story.
Depending on how close you are to them, or how old this adult kid is (like, if they’re 18…maybe they were stressing and being polite to tell you sell it but they really wanted it), you could have reached out to cousin to say ‘hey your kid wants my car but can’t come up with the money, I need to sell it, ….do you know how serious they are about it, you’re family and if you’re telling me they want it and I’ll get my money either way, I’ll hold onto it for them….can we have a deadline though?
NTA. In many cases “I would have gotten the money eventually.” is code for “I’ll dodge and change the subject every time you bring up me owing you for the car.” You said you were working with cousin’s kid? Cousin should have kept their nose out of your business.
NTA
Sorry for your loss.
You dodged a bullet. Never sell a car to someone you know, especially family.
The first little thing that goes wrong is going to be your fault and they, or their parents in this case, will be asking you to pay for the repairs or a refund.
NTA. The number one reason your cousin is being an AH is that this whole situation arose out of the sudden loss of your dad and yet they think you’re the one that owes them a favor during this difficult time.
You gave the kid a chance but they didn’t have the money. Even if it wasn’t an urgent situation on your end or your mom’s, you would have been fine to sell. But it was urgent, you had no choice. At the end of the day, both you and cousin’s kid will be glad you didn’t sell them a vehicle with 300k miles on it as, if you had, there would be many more arguments to come when it required inevitable maintenance, etc.
Never do business with family unless you dont cate if they become ex family. There will always be an excuse for why you’re the bad guy.
You did what was asked and could no longer wait for them to come up with the money… their problem NOT yours.
The only AH is your cousins parent, Cousin seemed OK with it, parent wasnt… probably because they were sick of lending their vehicle out! Lol
Never sell a car to family or friends.
NTA, your cousin’s kid is a grown adult, them agreeing to buy or not buy your car has NOTHING to do with your cousin! You were generous in giving the kid time, offering a discount, and the kid here is showing way more maturity and respect than their parent! A great example of a child growing up to be an upstanding adult despite their parents/upbringing!
NTA but honestly how much did you sell the car with 300k miles on it for? unless pressed for cash i would have just gifted it to the kid or taken whatever he could reasonably pay for it just as a kind gesture knowing he was family and anyway you got a free car from your dad
NTA-They were trying to wear you down where you would give it for free not knowing the stakes behind you needing to sell quickly.
NTA. Never ever sell a car to family. First it would be they can’t come up with all the money and would you take half. Then something would break (on a 300k car, that’s a guarantee) and they’d want you to pay for repairs to make good on the deal. You did much better selling it outright to a stranger.
NTA. Seriously — don’t worry about it. This is ridiculous.
NTA. “Yeah. ‘Eventually’ is the problem. You shoulda gotten a loan and ‘eventually’ paid back the bank.”
NTA their lack of a vehicle is not your responsibility.
nta
NTA. You already did them TWO solids. You have them the family discount AND you even pulled the ass for a week before, after getting the go ahead from the relative, repeating it and selling it. I do wonder why the mom was still paying insurance on it though, unless it was still on lease or there were still payments being made on it
NTA but the cousin giving you a hard time certainly is. As mentioned by other commenters, you dodged a bullet, that entitled cousin would have been whinging to you about any little thing that went wrong with his kid’s car.
NTA. They told you to go ahead and sell it. Not your problem they couldn’t scrape up the money.
NTA, If your cousin wanted their kid to have the car, they should have ponied up the funds faster.
NTA.
You gotta do what you gotta do, business is business, family is family, you could have chosen family and wrote it off as a loss, but that seems excessive for a car unless you are rather well off.
NTA. You had a deadline, and you can’t do all the paperwork involved with the deadline until you transfer the car title, and you’re not going to transfer a car title until you’re paid.
Kid can’t pay before the deadline, it’s not your fault.