AITA for not sharing my food

r/

I(20F) am currently on my weight loss journey through being on a calorie deficit and 10k steps every morning. This means I’ve stopped consuming the food that is usually consumed by the rest of my family. Bread, white rice etc have been traded in for things that are low in calories meaning I can eat them in bigger quantities and still be full while maintaining my deficit.

When I started I recognised that I can’t just rely on the groceries bought for the house because that would just make things run out quickly (8 people in the household) which left me without food essentially. So I took my last money from my father allowance and bought everything that I would need in bulk and put it in my room.

The day I bought these groceries, the store didn’t have an item of mine (low fat plain yogurt) and mom said it’s fine she’ll come back and buy it the next day when it would be available . She forgot and came back with it 2 days ago. It was in the fridge, I opened it yesterday and used a tablespoon.

Today when I go to use it, I overhear mom talking to my aunt about how the yoghurt is mine cause she see’s her eating it and then some whispering between them.
From this, I check the yoghurt to discover that more than half of it is gone already( it’s 1kg/ 2,2 lbs) After seeing the yoghurt, I tell mom that she needs to buy more because there’s only half of it left now. Which I honestly expected her to pass that on to those who ate it.
She then tells me how me not sharing my food anyways is wrong and how it’s a lot of food for me not to share.

E.g I bought 7kg potatoes, I eat 300g per day because if prepared properly they are a low cal, filling food. So I understand why I bought that size but they don’t. Mind you a packet of 7kg potatoes shared by the whole house finishes in like 2 weeks or less and that’s with me not making them everyday.

I said it doesn’t make sense for me to share food when I’ve stopped eating other food and used my money to buy these ones.
She said she buys all the groceries even though she’s also not eating certain food since she’s also trying to lose weight.

I feel like she is a single mom of 2 and unfortunately for now the primary earner in the house so her buying groceries is a given, whilst me spending all my money to get food that will keep me fed and fulfil my journey isn’t a good comparison and my point was proven because what happened to the yoghurt would’ve happened to my other food and I would’ve been stuck without and if I asked mom to buy more, it would’ve been a whole conversation.

Maybe it’s the cravings and slight hunger that’s gotten to me?
So Reddit AITA?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    I(20F) am currently on my weight loss journey through being on a calorie deficit and 10k steps every morning. This means I’ve stopped consuming the food that is usually consumed by the rest of my family. Bread, white rice etc have been traded in for things that are low in calories meaning I can eat them in bigger quantities and still be full while maintaining my deficit.

    When I started I recognised that I can’t just rely on the groceries bought for the house because that would just make things run out quickly (8 people in the household) which left me without food essentially. So I took my last money from my father allowance and bought everything that I would need in bulk and put it in my room.

    The day I bought these groceries, the store didn’t have an item of mine (low fat plain yogurt) and mom said it’s fine she’ll come back and buy it the next day when it would be available . She forgot and came back with it 2 days ago. It was in the fridge, I opened it yesterday and used a tablespoon.

    Today when I go to use it, I overhear mom talking to my aunt about how the yoghurt is mine cause she see’s her eating it and then some whispering between them.
    From this, I check the yoghurt to discover that more than half of it is gone already( it’s 1kg/ 2,2 lbs) After seeing the yoghurt, I tell mom that she needs to buy more because there’s only half of it left now. Which I honestly expected her to pass that on to those who ate it.
    She then tells me how me not sharing my food anyways is wrong and how it’s a lot of food for me not to share.

    E.g I bought 7kg potatoes, I eat 300g per day because if prepared properly they are a low cal, filling food. So I understand why I bought that size but they don’t. Mind you a packet of 7kg potatoes shared by the whole house finishes in like 2 weeks or less and that’s with me not making them everyday.

    I said it doesn’t make sense for me to share food when I’ve stopped eating other food and used my money to buy these ones.
    She said she buys all the groceries even though she’s also not eating certain food since she’s also trying to lose weight.

    I feel like she is a single mom of 2 and unfortunately for now the primary earner in the house so her buying groceries is a given, whilst me spending all my money to get food that will keep me fed and fulfil my journey isn’t a good comparison and my point was proven because what happened to the yoghurt would’ve happened to my other food and I would’ve been stuck without and if I asked mom to buy more, it would’ve been a whole conversation.

    Maybe it’s the cravings and slight hunger that’s gotten to me?
    So Reddit AITA?

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    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > 1. Refusing to share my food/groceries with the rest of my family.
    2. Goes against the whole sharing is caring notion and I was being reprimanded for not sharing by the person(s) in conflict with

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  3. Leigeofgoblins Avatar

    NAH. Buy your own food and don’t share it but also don’t expect your mum to buy you things or if she does, accept you should share.

    You buying food for yourself is lessening the burden for her financially.

  4. Individual_Ad_9213 Avatar

    YTA. What you are doing by asking her to replace the yoghurt that is being stored in the kitchen’s refrigerator is making your mother’s life more complicated than it needs to be. She’s already doing stuff for the entire household of eight people. To tell her to replace your things because others eat it adds to her costs and to her work.

    You’ve stored almost all of your food in your own room. You may as well take that to its logical conclusion. Buy yourself a small refrigerator, place it in your room, and store your personally bought perishables (like yoghurt) there.

  5. jtbear91 Avatar

    NTA.

    You have set health goals for yourself that include a specific diet, and you plan your grocery list accordingly. If possible get a mini fridge, and store your food separately, if you can trust people to respect boundaries, remove the temptation for them to do so.

  6. Trevena_Ice Avatar

    INFO: How are you a household of 8 but your mom is a single mom to two and the only one earning money? And who paid for the yoghurt? You or your mom?

  7. Dittoheadforever Avatar

    YTA 

    >I tell mom that she needs to buy more because there’s only half of it left now. 

    Your mom bought the yogurt. Even though she bought it with you in mind, that doesn’t make it your property for you alone to eat it.

    >more than half of it is gone already( it’s 1kg/ 2,2 lbs

    Sound like there is still quite a bit left for someone who only eats a tablespoon at a time.

  8. LaylasWeb Avatar

    You are NTA for not sharing your portion of food since the rest of the family have theirs which you don’t go near.

  9. Stepford_Knaves Avatar

    NTA for keeping your food to yourself, but stop annoying to your mother about replacing the yogurt. Especially if your mother bought the yogurt for you as part of the grocery shopping. You should probably try and get some healthy staples that everybody in the house eats added to the usual grocery run, it might help the rest of the household improve their diet too. Other than that yeah of course if you are doing your own grocery shopping for a particular diet it isn’t sustainable for you to feed the rest of the household.

  10. Shakeit126 Avatar

    NAH, but you’re 20. Get a mini fridge for your room. It sounds like your aunt ate it by accident. Why aren’t you driving? People shouldn’t eat other people’s food, but your mom bought the yogurt. Hopefully, you start driving soon, get a job, and can move out. It sounds very crowded in that house.

  11. Particular-Try5584 Avatar

    YTA.
    You still have half a kilo of yoghurt there right?
    Tell your mum when the yoghurt gets low, so she can get more then. Telling her now to replace it because Aunt is eating it is rude.
    If you feel this passionately about yoghurt and don’t want to share the groceries your mum paid for then buy your own yoghurt and write in sharpie “MINE DO NOT TOUCH” on it. Then you can ask for it to be replaced.

    The yoghurt your mum bought? Is hers to do with as she pleases.

    N TA for having stashed a sack of potatoes for yourself, but if your mum is struggling, to the point of food security for the whole family (and many mothers will absolutely hide how dire the food issues are) then work with her – you say this is from your dad’s money… is that child support for you? If so… it’s supposed to cover more than food, it’s meant to cover rent, electricity, water, education, clothing and medical costs too…. If you’ve taken all that money and spent it on food… who is paying for everything else? Your mum? Your dad’s money is meant to contribute to that. (Not pay it all, pay some of it).

  12. Not-That_Girl Avatar

    I’m not going to judge, but I am asking you to PLEASE think through a better plan for your weightloss journey.

    Buying such a large amount of potatoes seems a bit silly, theyw ill be sprouting shots before you het half way through!

    Doesn’t mum buy potatoes anyway? You can cook and prepare and calorie count your meals, you can buy low calorie foods and snacks to keep to one side, in your room. But staple ingredients like a huge sack of potatoes?

    Maybe get a fridge for your room.

    Anyone else jn the family want to join you with this? Are you doing more than walking?

    I hope its going well, remember to save money because you’ll need to buy new clothes soon!