I (26M) was at a crowded park recently where there were food trucks set up and people sitting around eating. Seating was pretty limited, and most people were sitting on this low concrete wall that runs along the edge of a parking lot. On the other side of the wall is a grassy area that’s level with the top of the wall, so people sit with their backs toward the grass and legs facing the lot.
I had just gotten my food when I noticed the only free spot left. At the same time, I saw a girl, well dressed for the park also walking toward it. She saw it first and was headed that way, but I was closer and got there before her despite her running when she saw me approaching it.
As I got to it, I looked down at the grass behind the wall and saw a big pile of dog poop right where someone’s lower back or clothes would land if they leaned or sat back. It was pretty gross, and I decided not to sit.
Right then, she walked up and looked annoyed, saying, “Seriously? I was going to sit there.” I didn’t want to make a thing of it, so I just stepped aside and said, “Go ahead, you can have it.”
She immediately sat down without checking behind her and just a second later jumped up with a disgusted look on her face. The poop was stuck to the back of her skirt. She turned to me and snapped, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I told her, “I saw it, yeah, but I didn’t know how you were planning to sit. For all I knew you were just going to perch on the edge or sit upright. It’s a park — people walk their dogs here. You’ve got to check before sitting down.”
She kept insisting I should’ve warned her, but I told her I wasn’t trying to be petty, I genuinely didn’t know how far back she was going to lean or sit, and it wasn’t really my responsibility to check the ground for her. She could have sat only on the wall and not on the grass and would have been fine.
She eventually walked off frustrated, but now I’m wondering if I should’ve just said something anyway. But I feel like especially since she was so confrontational about the spot it wasn’t really necessary.
AITA?
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I (26M) was at a crowded park recently where there were food trucks set up and people sitting around eating. Seating was pretty limited, and most people were sitting on this low concrete wall that runs along the edge of a parking lot. On the other side of the wall is a grassy area that’s level with the top of the wall, so people sit with their backs toward the grass and legs facing the lot.
I had just gotten my food when I noticed the only free spot left. At the same time, I saw a girl, well dressed for the park also walking toward it. She saw it first and was headed that way, but I was closer and got there before her despite her running when she saw me approaching it.
As I got to it, I looked down at the grass behind the wall and saw a big pile of dog poop right where someone’s lower back or clothes would land if they leaned or sat back. It was pretty gross, and I decided not to sit.
Right then, she walked up and looked annoyed, saying, “Seriously? I was going to sit there.” I didn’t want to make a thing of it, so I just stepped aside and said, “Go ahead, you can have it.”
She immediately sat down without checking behind her and just a second later jumped up with a disgusted look on her face. The poop was stuck to the back of her skirt. She turned to me and snapped, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I told her, “I saw it, yeah, but I didn’t know how you were planning to sit. For all I knew you were just going to perch on the edge or sit upright. It’s a park — people walk their dogs here. You’ve got to check before sitting down.”
She kept insisting I should’ve warned her, but I told her I wasn’t trying to be petty, I genuinely didn’t know how far back she was going to lean or sit, and it wasn’t really my responsibility to check the ground for her. She could have sat only on the wall and not on the grass and would have been fine.
She eventually walked off frustrated, but now I’m wondering if I should’ve just said something anyway. But I feel like especially since she was so confrontational about the spot it wasn’t really necessary.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I did not warn a girl that there was poop near the spot she wanted to sit in this might make me an asshole as she did not check and actually sat right in it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
No you are NTA. She should have looked before she sat down. If I were her, I would wonder why you could have taken the spot and didn’t especially since you were going for it!
I guess it’s so much like seeing someone’s unzipped pants then not saying anything. Technically NTAH but when they realize you could have told them, you’re their villain.
NTA…her whole attitude makes me realize you made the right choice in not telling her..lol..
I’ma go with YTA. You knew there was a reasonably high chance that she was about to get pooped, and your offering the seat to her carries the implication, to some extent at least, that she was not about to get pooped. She was being a bit rude, sounds like, but I dunno that she was being poop rude.
YTA kind of. it wasnt nice if her to be so confrontational but letting her sit in poop is just mean.
i mean, you could have kept the spot if you were sitting on the edge, but decided not to bc it grossed you out knowing there is a pile of poop behind you. so the excuse “i didnt know, how she would sit down” doesnt count. you knew, it was gross to sit there and you just let her walk right into it.
technically you did the have to say anything its not your responsibility but i think it’s completely valid for her to be annoyed considering the fact you where aware of the poop and could have saved her from that incredibly uncomfortable moment (so in a way yes you kind of are)
NTA it was her problem to check and she didn’t
YTA
Technically Not the Asshole.
Though, saying something would have at minimum been the chivalrous thing to do. That said this sound more like what happens when two people try to go after the same parking spot.
You were closer you got their first, she didn’t need to chew you out about it, especially since you hadn’t sat down, “yet”.
If I was in your place I might have said, “Oh man, I didn’t see that their! I guess I dodged a bullet.” Then quietly walked away marveling at the wonders of Karma.
YTA in this situation and in general I expect. You knew she was going for the seat but decided to sit there anyway. The only reason you didn’t is because of the poop. Then you said nothing.
You would have been in the clear if you just let her have the seat you knew she was hustling to.
Yeah for saying you saw it. I would of faked it and said oh my gosh ..im.sorry .thar could have been me. And walked away.
ESH. This woman was entitled and unnecessarily rude about first-come, first-serve public seating.
But come on, man. Knowing somebody is about to sit in poop transcends normal politeness rules. That’s disgusting, upsetting, and day-ruining. Yes, she should have looked down; you could also easily have said something, and it would’ve cost you nothing at all. Acting deliberately obtuse afterwards with your “I didn’t know you were going to sit” business is the icing on the AH cake.
In the words of the prophet George Costanza, we’re living in a society. This was a really sad case of two people failing at the basic act of being halfway decent to one another.
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NTA. You receive what you put out and you’re not entitled to assist anyone when they’re confrontational
Yta, and you were being petty. She was also an ahole for acting like she was entitled to the spot, but you should’ve told her, and hell you could’ve even said it in a petty way but you knew she was going to sit in it, you knew it was there and you let it happen
>I told her I wasn’t trying to be petty
This is the part where we need David Beckham poking his nose out of his bedroom door and saying “Be honest.” You were 100% being petty, and you know it.
If it was so likely that she might have sat in some way that didn’t get her covered with poop, if that was so easy… then why did you get up? You didn’t want to sit there because, even though you’d already seen the poop and knew where it was, you still figured there was a strong chance of you winding up with crap on your back.
YTA
Yes you are an asshole. You will get your reward
Asshole-adjacent. It wasn’t incumbent on you to say anything. Therefore, not the.asshole. But it would have been nice if you did no matter how you thought she would have sat. Therefore, asshole-adjacent.
NTA, I would’ve just walked away laughing after watching her sit in dog poop
YTA
ESH
ESH
She definitely acted entitled to the spot when it’s anybody’s fair game but it doesn’t kill you to be courteous. I hate this, “I don’t owe anything to anybody,” mentality people seem to have lately. This seems a bit like petty revenge for her attitude.
If you wouldn’t sit close to it because it’s gross to eat next to dog poop, then most likely she wouldn’t have either. Yes, she should have checked because it’s a public park but she probably assumed you were giving up your seat to avoid further confrontation with her.
I see both sides and while I agree she needs a change of attitude and more accountability, you can also be thoughtful of others.
YTA. She was annoying but there’s no reason you couldn’t have warned her.
ESH
NTA. That’s on her.
NTA it wasn’t your job to warn her when she was the one that started a fight
YTA
YTA.
Yeah youre an asshole OP
YTA
YTA
NTA she was rude, she got what she deserved 🤣
YTA. You knew she was headed towards the spot to likely sit so you got there before her saw the poop and decided you didn’t want to make a big thing of it so you just let her have it, knowing full well there was poop there.
Saying something would have been the nicer, chivalrous thing to do. Instead you were mean and petty about it. Your excuse of you could’ve sat on the wall doesn’t add up either. If you could’ve, why didn’t you? Because you didn’t want poop on you. You thought since she had a little attitude she deserved it.
Ehh it’s the polite thing to do, so a little bit YTA
Fake and lame
I’m gonna go against the grain here and say NTA….its a public place, you happen to beat her to a spot. She’s the one who ran, made a big deal about you getting the spot, and then sat down without looking. Who sits in the grass in a public park without looking???? Could you have told her? Sure. Were you an asshole for not? In my opinion, no.
Oh come on. YTA.
Seeing poop and knowing someone who has not egregiously wronged you in life is about it to sit in it? YTA.
Of course you were being petty… who are you trying to convince otherwise? yourself? because you don’t want to see yourself as an asshat?
Well, YTA
Soft YTA, honestly ESH but you definitely had an opportunity to warn her. From her perspective you basically tricked her into sitting in poop.