I (34 f )recently started dating someone (36 m)in the city i live in . Two months in to our relationship he sends me a screenshot of a comment i had made under one of my best friend post about him getting a new house ( in a whole different city hours away ) and how i couldn’t wait to visit. Mind you this comment was made two weeks in to my current relationship . Now my bf is all upset that i didnt tell him i was planning on going to visit a single male while in a relationship .(no plans were made just a comment ) How i never mentioned this man before etc . The man he is referring to happens to be one of my best childhood best friends ( since the 6th grade) and my daughter godfather . so AITA for not telling him sooner that my childhood best friend happens to be a boy ?
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I (34 f )recently started dating someone (36 m)in the city i live in . Two months in to our relationship he sends me a screenshot of a comment i had made under one of my best friend post about him getting a new house ( in a whole different city hours away ) and how i couldn’t wait to visit. Mind you this comment was made two weeks in to my current relationship . Now my bf is all upset that i didnt tell him i was planning on going to visit a single male while in a relationship .(no plans were made just a comment ) How i never mentioned this man before etc . The man he is referring to happens to be one of my best childhood best friends ( since the 6th grade) and my daughter godfather . so AITA for not telling him sooner that my childhood best friend happens to be a boy ?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> bc maybe i should have given him a heads up about my best friend being a dude
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH.
I hate to say it but I’ve known enough stories of people having “Just a friend” that later turns out to be a hookup who was waiting in the wings, so it’s entirely understandable for your BF to be paranoid.
That said it’s equally likely that your good friend really is just a good friend, and it’s not ok for a romantic partner to control what friends you have, so if he tries to do that be aware that’s a HUGE red flag.
Just be sure to be very open in your communication in the future.
You’re way too old to deal with insecure men like that. Expecting to know everything after two weeks is pretty wild. And expecting you to not see any male friend while in a relationship, like you should have his permission for that ??
For some men, a male best friend can be a deal breaker. Similar if you both want kids or not. I think these things need to be talked about at around the same time
I thought when I read the heading that you were going to be 12! You are way too old to be dealing with crap like this. If he’s upset he’s upset. It’s a him problem. You’re a grown woman, you can be friends with whoever you want. But more to the point, why did you feel the need not to tell him? Is this a pattern with him or with you, and if so, why?
NTA by any means. This new bf is either insecure, has anxiety issues or closed minded.
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NTA. Him wanting to know this 2 weeks in is concerning. Even 2 months in. He is just starting to get to know you. If this is how he is, you need to get out.q
Why is he even looking up your comments on a post made by someone he doesn’t even know? Is he like reverse stalking you by looking up all your posts/responses? Sounds a bit creepy and controlling for such a new relationship.
This is a red flag. Jealousy and “no other male friends” shit mist be swiftly crushed with a breakup.
I don’t know any guys that are gonna be cool with their girlfriends going to visit their male friend in another town.
NTA BUT if he cares that much then either he has had a previously bad experience with this situation so cant blame him but either way if its that much of a problem for him then it aint gonna work so rip that plaster (bandaid) off and move on asap as it will only get worse in the long run.
I think it’s strange that you wouldn’t have mentioned who your best friend was after 2 months.
The alarm bells from your boyfriend are reasonable, but him sending you a screenshot is a shitty way to bring it up.
my best friend lives three states away and its not a talk everyday friendship …..
Ex. Two weeks in & this. Dump quick smart. NTA
Insecurity at HIS age is, at best, a yellow flag…….and it ventures into Red Flag territory.
I met my husband while in college – a college that happened to have a population that was 75% male.
It never occurred to my husband to be jealous of my guy friends- one actually became our kid’s godfather.
clarification the comment was made when we were two wks in the relationship we are now two months in and it was just brought up today
Dump him.
I read the headline and could only picture a teenager. 30 freaking 6.
Cut your losses.
So you’re not allowed to hang out with single males anymore?
Yeah, dump this walking red flag immediately
Toxicity
Run, it only gets downhill from here
NAH, some people, women included, freak out when they find out their SO has a close friend of the opposite sex. There are a LOT of people who believe that men and women cannot be friends without sexual attraction being a factor. There is a reason that the “Guy/Girl she/he tells you not to worry about” meme is a trend though. It is very easy for you to not have mentioned this close friend case, so many of us hold on to friendships in adulthood where we do not meet up regularly but stay close. I would talk to your bf about this friendship, depending on his reaction a two week relationship isn’t a horrible loss in the romantic life.
NTA , two weeks into a relationship, aw hell no!
But honestly, maybe you should have told him on the first date, that way there wouldn’t have been a second date.
It’s your daughter’s godfather, you’re not going to, nor should you, sever ties with them.
NTA. Why is he checking your comments? He’s upset about something that hasn’t happened. 2 months in and he already doesn’t trust you? Sounds like the precursor to a controlling relationship.