AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to do Onlyfans

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Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m19) currently are living together and we’re struggling for money. We each are working but it’s still rough. The other day my boyfriend came to me with the idea of making a joint Onlyfans account together for some easy extra money. I told him I don’t want to do it with him because I think it’s weird and we probably wouldn’t make enough money on it anyways. He says that it’s ok and that I don’t have to be in it but I’m not comfortable with that either. He also says that any money helps which I guess is true. We got into a big fight over it because he doesn’t see the big deal in posting on Onlyfans but I just don’t like the idea of it. Am I wrong for feeling this way or does my boyfriend have a point?

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  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m19) currently are living together and we’re struggling for money. We each are working but it’s still rough. The other day my boyfriend came to me with the idea of making a joint Onlyfans account together for some easy extra money. I told him I don’t want to do it with him because I think it’s weird and we probably wouldn’t make enough money on it anyways. He says that it’s ok and that I don’t have to be in it but I’m not comfortable with that either. He also says that any money helps which I guess is true. We got into a big fight over it because he doesn’t see the big deal in posting on Onlyfans but I just don’t like the idea of it. Am I wrong for feeling this way or does my boyfriend have a point?

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    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > 1. Telling my boyfriend I don’t want him doing Onlyfans
    2. We need money and he wants to do it and me saying no makes him sad

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  3. cbeal11 Avatar

    NTA. I would also feel weird if my boyfriend wanted to do onlyfans. I get that you guys need money but there are a lot more side hustles out there

  4. Nermal_Nobody Avatar

    NTA. This could open Pandoras Box

  5. NOTNeedlepeen1 Avatar

    NTA, guess he has to choose between you and jerking it for everyone to see

  6. Far-Signature-9628 Avatar

    Definitely NTA.

    Don’t let yourself be pressured into anything you aren’t comfortable with.

  7. Ok-Woodpecker-4661 Avatar

    I don’t think you’re the asshole. That’s not something you’re comfortable with and it’s your boundary to have. It’s up to him to decide if he’s going to respect how you feel even if he doesn’t understand why. Also, OnlyFans isn’t quick easy money the way he thinks. It takes a good amount of effort and time to actually make enough money to make a difference.

  8. Immediate_Water_2637 Avatar

    NTA! It’s about your dignity! No one cares if a man does Onlyfans, but I don’t think he’s treating you like marriage material if he’s asking you to do this! I’m only gonna say this once… Run girl, run. (Flash music starts playing).

  9. clothanger Avatar

    People who think Onlyfan is a source of income like “easy money” is shitty.

    People who talk about “joined Onlyfan account” is extra shitty.

  10. UsernameBugs Avatar

    NTA. There are a million other ways to make extra money. Explore those alternatives before taking a path that could potentially derail your entire future.

  11. Frozenblueberries13 Avatar

    This is diabolical on his part. No man I know would be okay with their girlfriend going on that website, much less would suggest the idea. that alone didn’t give you the ick? Also, the internet is so.very.permanent. NTA.

  12. Square_Ferret2670 Avatar

    NTA, it’s a perfectly acceptable boundary to have. Of course, you have to make your own choices about what to do if he decides to go that route, which is his prerogative. 

    Some unsolicited advice?  I know someone who did cam stuff pack in the day when she was hard up and about 20. 10 years later she lost her job she got a degree for  and loved because people found her old vids. Don’t put things like that on the Internet unless you’re willing to be judged for it forever. It’s not fair, but that’s life. 

  13. Complex_Goal8606 Avatar

    NTA, and most OF people make like $100/mo. For showing the world their stuff.

    Then it all leaks for free anyways.

    Tell BF to pick up a second job or do some goodwill bins/reselling or whatever. Way more respectful ways of making extra cash.

    Continue to respect yourself.

  14. SomeRagingGamer Avatar

    NTA. That is something that you’re not comfortable with, and you set a boundary. Besides, you’re not wrong. It’s not like it’s easy to make money on OF. You either need to already have a large social media presence to promote you OF, or spend money on promotion. And from there, it’s basically luck. The women you hear about making 10k plus a week are the top 1% of earners.

  15. DrakenDaskar Avatar

    Prostitutes derserv human decency but make no mistake someone who does onlyfans is a prostitute. Eventhough everyone deserves human decency they sell their body and thst doesn’t mean everyone should be comfortable with being together with a them.

    It’s not weird or unreasonable to not want your partner to become a prostitute.

  16. shoob420 Avatar

    NTA (at all) and as a former OF person (who already had a following online) it is not as easy as he thinks it’s gonna be lmao

  17. Wise-Matter9248 Avatar

    NTA

     Joining something like onlyfans has been made to sound very easy and not a big deal. 

    But depending on what your future goals are, it could have serious impacts on your careers. Putting your very personal life on the Internet is always something that needs to be really seriously considered. 

    It’s also not “easy money”. It’s hard work to do it well and to actually make money from it. 

    But beyond all of that- it’s okay to have boundaries about what you are okay with being shared about your personal life or that of your partner. It doesn’t mean he shouldn’t do it, but it’s okay for you to put that as hard boundary that would lead to reconsidering whether this is the right the relationship for you. 

  18. elevenohnoes Avatar

    NAH. Neither of you is really wrong on this, you just have differing opinions. You both may need to think about whether this difference is big enough to break up over it. It shouldn’t be though, it’s not as if he seems passionate about making that kind of content, he’s only interested in trying to make some “easy” money (which I think he’ll have a pretty rude awakening if he ever tries)

  19. ReeCardy Avatar

    Google reviews of working on OnlyFans.

    Could either of you do a work from home job? Amazon call center is hiring again, those are work from home jobs

  20. C1sko Avatar

    NTA-OF, dealbreaker.

  21. ambyrdawn Avatar

    NTA, and this is coming from
    Someone who has an of lol there is nothing wrong with having one but it has to be a joint decision, if you are in a relationship with someone. If you don’t feel comfortable with it definitely don’t. Also, your boyfriend is being naive in thinking that having an of is easy extra money…

  22. 1_purin Avatar

    NTA. There are other easy jobs like door dashing that don’t expose you to the world in that manner. You’re both also quite young, so it’s definitely not the most moral choice either.

  23. PooNannie96 Avatar

    NTA
    That man is so overcome by greed and lust that he is willing to not only sacrifice himself but you! He’s willing to desecrate this sacred bond and plaster you all over the internet for what, a little rent money?
    Maam I hope you see this highlights more than money problems. This here is a whole other level of wickedness and darkness that is overtaking our society.

    It seems as though if you aren’t willing to fall into the pit with him then he’s willing to let you go to feed that sin regardless. That’s where the anger is coming from since you aren’t a willing participant, he will find another. Because sex sells. And people aren’t gonna pay to watch that one man band and he knows it.

  24. Bowman74 Avatar

    OK boyfriend wants to do what I assume is porn, he also wanted you to do it with him. You doing it or not is your choice. You wanting to be in a relationship with someone who does it is also your choice. Him doing it? That’s his choice, but choices have consequences. If he does it, you may have to make a further choice about your comfort with continuing the relationship. There is nothing wrong with doing it and there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to or be in a relationship with someone who does.

  25. Timely-Profile1865 Avatar

    NTA, you are the smart one here.

    There are tons of side hustle side jobs that one can get.

    Once you sign up for that you are labelled as such for ever whether you like it or not.

  26. UsualHendryBeliever Avatar

    NTA. As your partner, you don’t want him showing his dingdong off to other people and he should respect that. Relationships are about two people, not just one.

  27. WarthogConfident7809 Avatar

    YOU will when your child comes home crying for being teased since the whole school saw a video of you having sex. Onlyfans will one day be hacked, and all files released with personal information.

    Example: Ashley Madison

  28. Clean_Permit_3791 Avatar

    I read it at first as HE wants to do only fans and assumed that meant just him alone. Asking you to go into sex work to pay the bills is gross. If HE wants to and you’re ok with HIM jerking off for a camera – whatever he is an adult, but to try and push you into having sex with him on camera to sell to other people that’s icky!

    Also if you guys break up – you will have to explain to future partners that there are videos on the internet of you and your ex that people can buy.

    NTA 

  29. Inside_Accountant_88 Avatar

    Nta. Dont give up the rest of your life for a few easy bucks. It seems like things are impossible but I promise you in 5-6 years you’ll look back at this moment and thank God you didn’t put it all out there for anyone and everyone to see.

  30. Sirregularguy Avatar

    ESH!

    Starting an OF would only work if he had a significant social media presence at this point. What you both need are more jobs or higher paying jobs. People underestimate how time consuming it is to make content on a consistent basis. Also, there is the marketing component to it that I am assuming he is unaware of. It would be a better use of time to do a really deep dive into your budgets to find savings and plan for the near and long future.

  31. Canaan889 Avatar

    Make sure he’s not secretly recording anything when you guys are having sex.

  32. riddlemore Avatar

    NTA. Is he aware that a solo male onlyfans page primarily attracts gay men? And that the majority of income from OF (that arent the 1%) derives from maintaining DMs with people?

  33. Regular-bro Avatar

    NAH 100%. Two adults with different preferences. However your values sound very opposed, which is not a good set up for a relationship.

  34. ManevraX Avatar

    NTA, 99% of of accounts don’t even make any money, some make but it’s very little, less than 100$/month. It’s the same as with any other social media platform, if you are not already popular it will not become a stable source of income, only 1% of all youtube channels make a stable income, same with any other platform.