Prom is coming up soon and i’ve honestly been saving and planning for weeks. i don’t usually spend a lot on makeup, but i went out and bought a couple new things just for that night. foundation that actually matches me, a setting spray i’ve been wanting forever, and a Dior lipstick i was so excited to wear. i wanted it to feel like a treat for myself, not just the same stuff i throw on every day. And the plan is that a few of us are getting ready together at one of our houses. when we were talking about it, my friend casually said she’ll just use some of my makeup especially my lipstick because she didn’t want to buy her own. i kind of laughed it off at first, but she repeated it like she was serious. i told her i’d rather not share because i’ve been saving everything for me.
she immediately looked very unhappy and said we were friends, that it’s just “some makeup”. but it doesn’t feel like just some makeup to me. i bought these products for one night i’ve been excited about, and i don’t really want someone else using them first or maybe breaking something. But the thing is, now i feel bad. like maybe it makes me a bad friend for not sharing. i know some people would just let her borrow it and not think twice. but i feel like i should be allowed to keep it for myself without it turning into argument.
AITA for saying no?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
Prom is coming up soon and i’ve honestly been saving and planning for weeks. i don’t usually spend a lot on makeup, but i went out and bought a couple new things just for that night. foundation that actually matches me, a setting spray i’ve been wanting forever, and a Dior lipstick i was so excited to wear. i wanted it to feel like a treat for myself, not just the same stuff i throw on every day. And the plan is that a few of us are getting ready together at one of our houses. when we were talking about it, my friend casually said she’ll just use some of my makeup especially my lipstick because she didn’t want to buy her own. i kind of laughed it off at first, but she repeated it like she was serious. i told her i’d rather not share because i’ve been saving everything for me.
she immediately looked very unhappy and said we were friends, that it’s just “some makeup”. but it doesn’t feel like just some makeup to me. i bought these products for one night i’ve been excited about, and i don’t really want someone else using them first or maybe breaking something. But the thing is, now i feel bad. like maybe it makes me a bad friend for not sharing. i know some people would just let her borrow it and not think twice. but i feel like i should be allowed to keep it for myself without it turning into argument.
AITA for saying no?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. i didnt let my friend use my make up. 2. maybe its not very good not to share?
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA unless you borrowed something like that from them in the past. It’s completely ok to keep something that is yours to yourself and not want to share it
NTA. Sharing makeup is unsanitary on top of everything else and nobody should make a habit of it. You’re not a bad friend for being firm on this and if she doesn’t like it she doesn’t have to get ready at your house.
NTA. It’s entirely natural to want to keep a luxury item for yourself, especially on its first use.
If you buy a sports car, would you be OK someone else driving it first?
If you buy a bed, would you be OK with someone else sleeping in it first?
If you get married, would you be OK someone else trying him out first on your big day?
No different. This is yours.
NTA. I draw lines at sharing anything lip related. No sharing of balms, lipstick, lip glosses or anything. It’s about hygiene for me, but I remember when I bought Lancome Idole I would not share that with anyone because I had to save up a lot for that. I’m all for sharing, but as people, there would always be certain things that we would want to keep for ourselves because they denote something special. NTA, through and through.
NTA, I am a theater major and actors sometimes get it into their heads that sharing makeup is a good idea. Not only can it spread diseases (pink eye, herpes), most of the time the makeup is the wrong shade for their skin tone. Eyeshadows can be safer to share but only if cleaned and different brushes are used.
POINT IS, stand your ground. This is the kind of thing that can mess up your physical health, and you should be proud that your instinct was to not share. This is a bigger health issue than some people realize.
NTA. Cold sores (Herpes Virus) exists and can be dormant for ages.
Never share lip products, for the health and hygiene of everyone involved.
NTA. She wouldn’t want to borrow your lipstick if it was an LA Colors lipstick from the dollar store. Don’t let her get ready at your house
Also, what school has prom in September? That’s new to me
Nta had a friend get herpes that way stay safe
NTA and OP do not let your makeup out of your sight. 100% your “friend” will try to do a fast one on you and laugh it off like “See? It isn’t that big of a deal. Are you seriously going to ruin our prom night over some lipstick?”
NTA, it’s kinda gross to use lip products with multiple people, the only way that would be acceptable is if you use a make up spatula to take some off and then use a brush to take it from the spatula. but that would ruin the bullet.
Stand your ground, you bought it for yourself to use, she can do the same. She is not entitled to your products. Also her dismissive attitude, “oh i’ll use some of OP’s stuff”She did not even ask you if that was okay! She just assumed! That is rude AF.
NTA I’d never share lip or eye makeup. Even professional makeup artists never use lipsticks directly on multiple clients. They’ll always use a brush and palette.
Sorry but makeup is very personal. It’s not something to share. Bacteria and viruses can easily transfer through makeup products. Treat makeup like a toothbrush! it’s best to keep it personal. If anyone asks you just say No due to hygiene and infection risk. Period. Not up for debate, discussion or personal opinions. It’s your boundary and your personal items.
NTA. Girl can bring her own. The entitlement!! You’re not being selfish or stingy, makeup is NOT a group share situation.
NTA. There’s a couple of stuff I will never share or lend due to hygienic reasons and that’s anything related to the eyes (mascara, eye liner etc) and lips. Because you never know such as cold sores etc.
Also looooove me some Dior. I don’t buy lipsticks/lipgloss often but Dior is one of my favorites to splurge on especially with their moisturizing/hydrating ones.
Giving you the benefit of the doubt that it’s either actually homecoming or a strange school I’ve never heard of that does prom in the fall:
NTA but keep that makeup in your sight at all times while you’re together. Do not leave it on the counter while you go to the bathroom/get your dress on/check yourself in a mirror/etc, do not let her hold your bag while you do something, etc. People that are entitled enough to get mad/insist after being told “no” will have no qualms about ignoring your “no” the second your back is turned, and frankly if she rush-uses any of your stuff I’d say she’s doubly likely to ruin the products.
NTA
If it’s just some makeup, as your friend claims, then she shouldn’t have any issues using something else.
Don’t share makeup! Especially eye and lip makeup!! NTA
Most of the time, someone using the phrase “it’s just …” is trying to manipulate you.
I didn’t know, but I would think the best reply would be something like “it’s not ‘just’ whatever to me”.
Sharing makeup is unhygienic, especially lipstick. NTA
NTA. You don’t need a reason. Learn now that no is a complete sentence.
She can get a sample. NTA
NTA – ewww
Nta but i’m shocked at the responses like y’all never shared with your friends? This would definitely be seen as a little strange with any friend i’ve ever had ever
To make life easier could you “pretend” to share it with her? Get one of those little plastic travel pots and put some cheap lipstick inside that’s the same shade and tell her you scraped some off the top of your lipstick for her to use and have in her bag for touch up throughout the night. Then keep your new lipstick to yourself. So long as the colours match she’ll be none the wiser and you can say that this is what make-up artists do to avoid cross contamination. If she’s too cheap to have a lipstick brush she’ll just have to use her fingers.
NTA. Give her the link for the make up if you bought it online, or the address of the store
NTA
I had a friend in high school that felt my personal care items should also be common property. Needless to say, we had to stop being friends.
Like others have said, it’s unsanitary and also rude.
NTA. I do not share makeup ever is final answer. Get ready by yourself if need be
Don’t share makeup, period. It’s a great way to share diseases.
find a similar shade at five below, scrape some into the top of a prescription bottle ( or whatever) and give it to her… “ i thought you would need some for retouching “
Sharing makeup is like sharing a toothbrush 🤢
Who shares lipstick? Yuck
Nope no one should share makeup ever. It’s gross
Ask her if she wants to wear your dirty underwear as well.
NTA. There is a reason people don’t share makeup. It unhygienic. Tell your friend no. Can you tell your friends that your mom insisted you get ready at home because she wants to be part of the experience? This kind of thing is usually a big deal for a parent. That way you avoid the drama with friends trying to use your stuff that day.
NTA. It’s unhygienic even if it didn’t have the underlying issues at play. And for future reference, some advice….
“No.” is a complete sentence. You owe no one explanation and guilting you is a form of manipulation.
NTA. Ew.
Bring one of your about-to-go-in-the-trash lipsticks from home and gift it t to her.