AITA for not wanting to celebrate a relatives birthday on my birthday weekend?

r/

My relatives birthday was on September 29 and there were no plans at all whatsoever they were going to celebrate. Cool. Whatever. My birthday is this Saturday and I planned to do something on Sunday and was planning this for literally WEEKS. I’ve been talking about this almost every single day! I was excited!

Literally the DAY of my relatives birthday I get a message saying they’re going to throw a party ON THE DAY I MADE MY PLANS. I told my family, I don’t care. You do what you want I’M going to go through with my plans and celebrate MY BIRTHDAY whether it’s alone or with you.

What do they say? I’m being selfish. I need to be understanding. Plans change.

I want to fucking SCREAM. Why do I have to cancel MY PLANS that I’ve been doing for weeks just because you suddenly decided to throw a party for them? On top of that – YOU KNEW I was planning this and you quickly forgot it AND decide to throw it ON MY EXACT DAY?

Am I being selfish? Because I don’t think I’m being selfish here and I need validation 😩

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    My relatives birthday was on September 29 and there were no plans at all whatsoever they were going to celebrate. Cool. Whatever. My birthday is this Saturday and I planned to do something on Sunday and was planning this for literally WEEKS. I’ve been talking about this almost every single day! I was excited!

    Literally the DAY of my relatives birthday I get a message saying they’re going to throw a party ON THE DAY I MADE MY PLANS. I told my family, I don’t care. You do what you want I’M going to go through with my plans and celebrate MY BIRTHDAY whether it’s alone or with you.

    What do they say? I’m being selfish. I need to be understanding. Plans change.

    I want to fucking SCREAM. Why do I have to cancel MY PLANS that I’ve been doing for weeks just because you suddenly decided to throw a party for them? On top of that – YOU KNEW I was planning this and you quickly forgot it AND decide to throw it ON MY EXACT DAY?

    Am I being selfish? Because I don’t think I’m being selfish here and I need validation 😩

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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I told my family I won’t be attending a relatives birthday that’s being held ON my birthday that I’ve been planning for weeks.

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  3. Relatents Avatar

    They invited, you declined. You have a prior engagement and are unavailable. I hope that you and your family have a wonderful time celebrating your birthday as planned. 

    NAH unless they refuse to politely accept that you are unavailable.

  4. Spike-2021 Avatar

    NAH. Go do what you want and let them do what they want. We all have choices to make – and it’s easier without the guilt tripping they’re doing. Go do your thing. Don’t stress about it. Happy Birthday.

  5. eldritch_shenanigans Avatar

    NTA you made plans. You put things in place for this day. They should have arranged things earlier so you could re-arrange. But they dropped it on you last minute. Politely refuse to go and enjoy your special day. I hope you had fun on your day out x And happy birthday!

  6. flowerybutterfly96 Avatar

    Who decided to throw a party?

  7. Mundane-Run6179 Avatar

    NTA and I think it’s a possibility the relative did it intentionally if it’s someone you have issues with