FOR CONTEXT: I (19F) just graduated high school and have applied for many jobs but got no response back so my (21F) sister said i could watch her kids while she works and I’ll get money.
When i first started watching my niece and nephew, my sister would either drop them off at my house, or I would go to her house to watch them and the payment deal was $100 each time i watch them. Usually she would leave for a day and come back the next to pay me. Everything was fine and nobody had any complaints until life circumstances happened and i had to go live with my her.
When i stated to live with my sister, she cut the price down from $100 to $70 since I got a room. (I was fine with that) UNTIL she would leave for MULTIPLE days and come back and pay me the most $20. Then she went on a trip with a friend for like 4 days, and i ended up watching my niece and nephew plus her friends kid. I was SUPPOSED to get $400 out of it, but when they got back I only received $200 and to this day, I still haven’t received the other half!
A little bit after that, I had moved out and watched the 3 kids at total of at least 20 times, and have only received $150. The plan was for my sister to help me get my I.D. and my license but she hasn’t even helped me in the steps of getting it and I haven’t gotten paid the money she owes me. The money her and her friend owes me would help me with many things that i need done for steps to take for the real world after school.
So am i the asshole for telling my sister that her AND her friend needs to pay me the money they owe me before asking me to watch the kids again?
EDIT: When I lived with my sister, her and her brother was paying for rent. I was babysistting, cooking Breakfast, Dinner, and Lunch if needed, I cleaned the entire house literally up and down, moped the walls, took out the trash, cleaned up everyone’s rooms, and made sure the house and kids were presentable. I practically did all the house work and responsibilities while they just paid the bills
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FOR CONTEXT: I (19F) just graduated high school and have applied for many jobs but got no response back so my (21F) sister said i could watch her kids while she works and I’ll get money.
When i first started watching my niece and nephew, my sister would either drop them off at my house, or I would go to her house to watch them and the payment deal was $100 each time i watch them. Usually she would leave for a day and come back the next to pay me. Everything was fine and nobody had any complaints until life circumstances happened and i had to go live with my her.
When i stated to live with my sister, she cut the price down from $100 to $70 since I got a room. (I was fine with that) UNTIL she would leave for MULTIPLE days and come back and pay me the most $20. Then she went on a trip with a friend for like 4 days, and i ended up watching my niece and nephew plus her friends kid. I was SUPPOSED to get $400 out of it, but when they got back I only received $200 and to this day, I still haven’t received the other half!
A little bit after that, I had moved out and watched the 3 kids at total of at least 20 times, and have only received $150. The plan was for my sister to help me get my I.D. and my license but she hasn’t even helped me in the steps of getting it and I haven’t gotten paid the money she owes me. The money her and her friend owes me would help me with many things that i need done for steps to take for the real world after school.
So am i the asshole for telling my sister that her AND her friend needs to pay me the money they owe me before asking me to watch the kids again?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. The action I took that should be judged is telling my sister to pay me the rest of the money she owes me before I babysit the kids again. 2. The action might make me an asshole because it’s my niece and nephew I’m babysitting and even though I love them slit, I need the money
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA However, you need to find somewhere else to live. As long as you live with your 21 year old sister with two children, she’s going to dump her children on you and so will her equally irresponsible friends.
NTA they would be quick to complain if they were not paid.
Stop enabling your sister and her friend to (ab)use your time and go baby sit OTHER people’s kids who DO pay for your time.
NTA
NTA. I would recommend not mixing relatives/friends and business. Both sides will count on good relationship and expect discounts/extra service and after all dissatisfied. If you cannot afford working for free – just find other customers to babysit and tell your sis you are working those hours and not able to work for them. I’d say also, your sister benefits from you not having ID and license as she is getting low cost or free service while you are not independent, so don’t expect her to really promptly help with this.
NTA
You’re not free childcare. If your sister and her friend can afford trips, they can afford to pay you what they owe. Tell them no more babysitting until you’re paid in full.
INFO: do you pay for rent and board, or does your sister pay all the bills?
Edit: based on that you are no longer living there, I’d probaby find another family to work for, since this family isn’t reliable with respect to pay. It seems that your sister has been using you. NTA.
nta you like self torture? stand
INFO So before you moved in with her she always paid you in a timely manner, but after she doesn’t anymore. Which begs the question: what does it mean “she just paid the bills”? If by that you mean she paid rent, electricity, water, internet, food – that’s a lot of bills to pay to support another kid, who is actually an adult. And what do you mean by “she promised to help you with your ID and license”? Pay for them? Because if it’s about filling out the applications, I imagine you can do it yourself, so it only leaves money. That’s a lot of financial support you expect from your sister who has kids of her own to support.
Money can very quickly sour relationships. I would advise you to find a job that doesn’t involve relatives.
NTA
Sounds like this arrangement should have stopped when you moved out.
The fact that you’ve watch the kids 20 times since with little to no pay means that you’ve already given them many, many chances.
You’re not the asshole if you finally say no.
NTA you were absolutely being taken advantage of.
Write up the bill of what she owes and ask for it.
Don’t babysit until the bill is paid in full.
Hold your ground.
NTA
NTA. But you will be the AH if you keep watching those kids. Time to stop until ALL monies are paid in full and even then don’t watch them.
NTA and you should stop watching them until you’re paid in full. Use your free time to hang out with friends, volunteer, enroll in school, look for a job but ANYTHING but free labor
Why does family treat family like this. Ive seen it a 1000 times.
they need you more than you need them. Dont do anything until you get your money. Then get all future money up front. If they dont then walk away.
theyll complain but they’ll pay you. just dont budge at all.
NTA
NTA
Of course you’re not TA. Stop working for people for free. This really shouldn’t even be a question. It makes exactly zero difference that you share DNA with her. She’s abusing you and your time. You get all backpay, and you get any future sitting, paid up front, in full, before you even consider doing it again. If you get overpaid, it comes off next time’s bill. She and friend are prepay ONLY now.