One of my friends got a new job recenly and some my friends decided to get her a little gift. I was in the group chat where it got brought up, but I was super busy with studying and didn’t say much. A couple people were throwing around ideas and I figured they’d update us later.
Well, last weekend they gave her the gift which is a airpod pro and posted a little photo of her holding it with a card. I didn’t even know they picked something already. I also wasn’t asked to sign the card or even told when they were giving it to her.
Then that same night, one of the girls Venmo requested me $20 for my “share.” I asked what it was for and she said, “the gift, obviously,” like I should’ve just known.
I told her I didn’t get to sign the card or even know what they picked, and she said it didn’t matter because I was part of the group and it’s just what we all agreed to. But like… I never agreed. I dont think i was included. I wasn’t even asked…
After that they are saying I’m making it awkward and that it’s not about the money, it’s about celebrating a friend, but I kinda feel like I was treated like an afterthought and still expected to pay.
AITA??
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read this before contacting the mod team
One of my friends got a new job recenly and some my friends decided to get her a little gift. I was in the group chat where it got brought up, but I was super busy with studying and didn’t say much. A couple people were throwing around ideas and I figured they’d update us later.
Well, last weekend they gave her the gift which is a airpod pro and posted a little photo of her holding it with a card. I didn’t even know they picked something already. I also wasn’t asked to sign the card or even told when they were giving it to her.
Then that same night, one of the girls Venmo requested me $20 for my “share.” I asked what it was for and she said, “the gift, obviously,” like I should’ve just known.
I told her I didn’t get to sign the card or even know what they picked, and she said it didn’t matter because I was part of the group and it’s just what we all agreed to. But like… I never agreed. I dont think i was included. I wasn’t even asked…
After that they are saying I’m making it awkward and that it’s not about the money, it’s about celebrating a friend, but I kinda feel like I was treated like an afterthought and still expected to pay.
AITA??
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I didn’t pay the “share” 2. They said I was included in this but I don’t feel like it .
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
>I was super busy with studying and didn’t say much.
They assumed you were keeping up with the conversation since you are part of the group. If you look back on the group chat was there ever any mention of signing the card that you may have missed?
yta – if you just ignored them and never said anything at all
they don’t have to ask you everything – you are part of the group and when you never say anything against anything, it’s okay for them to assume, that you are not against it, especially when it’s only about 20$
and you are only treated as an afterthought cause you made yourself an afterthought by not responding to anything at all…
[deleted]
NTA – Whoever bought the card should have given it to you to sign
NTA. You were not an after though, you were the ATM that was included in the chat to give money, so they can celebrate with the friend.
It should be in groups for presents to at least say ‘hey, we are planing to get a present, who is willing to spend x to y amount of money for it’ and or give the info at least at the end ‘we decided for present ab and will give it to friend then and there. Would love if you can come and sign the card’
NTA. If your name wasn’t on the card, I would assume that you weren’t a part of it. Even if your group is a close friend group, I’d assume that you being left off was deliberate. It’s objectively shitty that they didn’t even add your name in for you knowing that they would want you to pay – how are your friends excusing that?
NTA, you should have a say in what your money goes to. Being in a group while they make offstage decisions doesn’t automatically rope you into those decisions.
Did you ask anyone if they signed your name to the card?