My husband and I are almost thirty and about to have our first baby in December. This is after multiple miscarriages and adoptions falling through. I have been telling my close family all the details from the beginning incase I lose this baby as well. I wanted to wait to announce to the world, but my grandmother kept pestering me about just letting her tell everyone since she’s “so excited.” It made her visibly distraught when I told her I wanted to announce to the world on my own terms.
When I finally announced to our church she was upset I hadn’t allowed her to do it earlier because I’m “already getting big enough to notice.”
Now, we found out the gender last week and I told her this morning I wanted to wait to announce to the world. I didn’t want a gender reveal party, but I still wanted to be able to tell everyone on my own terms.
She didn’t care for my answer and told everyone in our church (we have a VERY small town/community) the gender this morning when I wasn’t around. Church members just began walking to me saying congratulations on baby’s gender! My sister saw I was obviously distraught and told my grandma to stop telling people which upset her more.
Now I feel I can no longer share information about my baby without her going behind my back and telling everyone every little detail. My father says I am overreacting because “this baby is all she has.” She already has three other great grandchildren she was nothing to do with.
AITA for not wanting her involved in my progress anymore? I just want information released when I’m comfortable to.
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My husband and I are almost thirty and about to have our first baby in December. This is after multiple miscarriages and adoptions falling through. I have been telling my close family all the details from the beginning incase I lose this baby as well. I wanted to wait to announce to the world, but my grandmother kept pestering me about just letting her tell everyone since she’s “so excited.” It made her visibly distraught when I told her I wanted to announce to the world on my own terms.
When I finally announced to our church she was upset I hadn’t allowed her to do it earlier because I’m “already getting big enough to notice.”
Now, we found out the gender last week and I told her this morning I wanted to wait to announce to the world. I didn’t want a gender reveal party, but I still wanted to be able to tell everyone on my own terms.
She didn’t care for my answer and told everyone in our church (we have a VERY small town/community) the gender this morning when I wasn’t around. Church members just began walking to me saying congratulations on baby’s gender! My sister saw I was obviously distraught and told my grandma to stop telling people which upset her more.
Now I feel I can no longer share information about my baby without her going behind my back and telling everyone every little detail. My father says I am overreacting because “this baby is all she has.” She already has three other great grandchildren she was nothing to do with.
AITA for not wanting her involved in my progress anymore? I just want information released when I’m comfortable to.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am now excluding my grandmother from future baby updates because of her revealing the baby’s gender early. My grandmother does seem excited about the baby so I feel like I MBTA for not including her.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Your only choice, really. If she doesn’t like it, she can blame herself.
NTA. It’s nice your grandma is so excited for you, but it’s YOUR baby and she should respect what you do and don’t want to share and when you share it. It’s really inappropriate for her to share your personal news as if it’s her own, and irrational for her to be mad at you.
“This baby is all she has”
NTA
She can’t be trusted to keep a secret. It doesn’t matter if she’s excited or not – it’s your baby and not hers. Also with a history of losses, that’s a delicate subject and she needs to keep her mouth shut.
Sorry Dad but you’re wrong. What your mom or MIL is doing is incredibly disrespectful. (I bet she’s his mother.)
NTA
Ask your grandmother if she wants to make this her 4th great grandbaby that she has nothing to do with, because it can easily be arranged.
NTA, but I hope you will never again tell her ANYTHING before you are ready for the whole world to know it.
Congratulations on the baby!
You’re NTA
>My father says I am overreacting because “this baby is all she has.”
Being old is no excuse for stealing someone else’s big moments. Especially ones that are so sensitive.
NTA. Sadly I imagine she cares more about the little power control of the info than the actual baby it represents. Next will be pestering you for the name. Protect your peace and avoid her as much as possible. Congratulations and best of health to you and your precious baby!
“She already has three other great grandchildren she was nothing to do with” tells you everything you need to know. She’s the common denominator. She’s the problem. You’re NTA. Don’t let yourself be emotionally blackmailed. Your baby wouldn’t be the “only thing she has” if she still had a relationship with her other grandchildren…