I have a dog that’s on the older side at 9 years old and a few weeks ago it lost the use of its back legs. I had to get surgery for him because I was not getting him put down. All in all it came to £8.5k, all of which I had to pay out of pocket for.
This wasn’t a huge problem because I have plenty saved up and in general I am well off.
Here’s the issue, my girlfriend’s sister has been struggling with rent. Apparently she’s behind by a few months and panicking about being kicked out. When my girlfriend found out what I paid for the surgery she got really upset with me and said I was selfish. Her words were along the lines of, “You’d spend eight grand on a dog but you won’t even help my sister keep a roof over her head?”
Since then my girlfriend has been pissed off with me and keeps calling me cheap and selfish for not helping her sister. I feel like I shouldn’t have to suffer for another person’s poor life choices. The reason her sister is in this predicament is because her relationship fell apart and she’s living in a place she can’t afford.
Further to that, I own a 4 bedroom home and my girlfriend suggested her sister moving in with us, but I refused.
Am I the asshole for refusing to help her sister?
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I have a dog that’s on the older side at 9 years old and a few weeks ago it lost the use of its back legs. I had to get surgery for him because I was not getting him put down. All in all it came to £8.5k, all of which I had to pay out of pocket for.
This wasn’t a huge problem because I have plenty saved up and in general I am well off.
Here’s the issue, my girlfriend’s sister has been struggling with rent. Apparently she’s behind by a few months and panicking about being kicked out. When my girlfriend found out what I paid for the surgery she got really upset with me and said I was selfish. Her words were along the lines of, “You’d spend eight grand on a dog but you won’t even help my sister keep a roof over her head?”
Since then my girlfriend has been pissed off with me and keeps calling me cheap and selfish for not helping her sister. I feel like I shouldn’t have to suffer for another person’s poor life choices. The reason her sister is in this predicament is because her relationship fell apart and she’s living in a place she can’t afford.
Further to that, I own a 4 bedroom home and my girlfriend suggested her sister moving in with us, but I refused.
Am I the asshole for refusing to help her sister?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to help my girlfriend’s sister with her rent because I don’t trust her or feel like it’s my problem. I feel bad and feel like I might need to do more to help or my girlfriend will hold it against me.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. However, you need to dump your girlfriend, who is determined to make her sister’s poor choices your problem.
NTA. You are responsible for your dog. You are not responsible for other adults decisions including their rent payments.
Nope do not help anyone with rent and bless you live there. Nta
NTA
But holy hell find a better girlfriend. Happy to spend all of your money and resources with no input from you? Yikes.
And you can spend YOUR money on whatever YOU like – it’s always like that for everyone.
Bin her, drop her like a hot tattie. She could assist her sister financially even if it meant taking on another job. You ain’t responsible for anyone else’s financial situation
Your dog…
Not your girlfriend, not your sister (and what benefits do you recieve for your money?)
And the question is?
NTA
Move the girlfriend out. Change the locks. Get a new, more independent girlfriend.
Drop the girlfriend and enjoy the time you have with your pup who you will probably need to dedicate more time to due to the illness and old age.
Gross. NTA. Your dog cannot take care of themselves, can’t earn more can’t work more to save to drive themselves to a vet. That woman is an adult and should be more financially aware. Your girlfriend should be your ex.
NTA, you had a responsibility to provide your dog with the best care possible. I’d get a new girlfriend if I were you.
NTA – I’d put my dog first.
If she’s expecting you to pay her sister’s rent or let her sister move into your house that says a lot about how she thinks she’s entitled to your money.
NTA. “Were you going to pay for anything? My dog? YOUR sister? No. You expect me to pay for everything because I’m the guy. That’s antiquated bullshit. If you’re really all about that lifestyle, then maybe I should rethink this relationship. I’m not here to clean up the messes made by your family. They’re all capable adults, and I doubt any of them would be able or willing to help you out of the same situation. I want peace in my home. That means not having your sister with her messy life drama in my house. And if you keep this up, then it means not having you in it. My dog is my responsibility, just like a child would be. I wouldn’t expect you to pay for him, but I also don’t expect you to give me shit over doing what’s morally and ethically my responsibility. He’s not a throwaway pet that I just get rid of because he’s financially inconvenient at the moment. This is the time he needs me most. Frankly, your dismissal of a living creature is enough for me to want to rethink this anyway.”
You might want to have a good long think about if you’re with her because you have been for so long, or if she’s bringing you joy into your life. Anyone that can just ‘why not just let the dog die’ at a beloved pet isn’t someone I’d hitch my wagon to. It’s one thing if you don’t have the money and it’s a serious choice. That’s not the issue here. You have the money. She just wants you to do what SHE feels is right with it. Boo.
NTA dogs are better than most people and they don’t have their own income. My 12yo beagle had pneumonia in July was in oxygen cage at emergency vet for almost 48 hours so I can relate to $$$. You are not responsible for her sister, you are responsible for your dog.
How is her sister’s living conditions your problem in any way?
She’s your girlfriend, not your wife. And even a wife would have to be more considerate when asking for help for her sibling, rather than expecting and demanding it.
That’s the bloodiest red flag in a relationship, if I were in your shoes, I’d consider the future carefully.
NTA.
NTA. You and your girlfriend are not compatible. I understand that’s her sister but you have a commitment to take care of your dog. It only has you to rely on.
The fact that your GF can’t see that is a huge problem. She puts her sisters issues over your dogs life.
NTA. Assuming these are all grown adults, they should each be responsible. You should not be made to be guilty for not helping. Your money, your choice.
NTA
NTA.
Why doesn’t your girlfriend pay her sister’s rent?
NTA, your girlfriend has entitlement syndrome. What you spend on your yourself or pet or items of choosing are none of her business. She’s shown you how she is, I don’t think this relationship lasts. Besides her request for her sister to move in with you, what has she personally done?? Since your GF is already living with you, perhaps share how you feel on her take about another adults choices and insulting you for not rescuing them, see how she responds. If it is steadfast the same then she can help out her sister by moving into her sisters place and taking over half the rent while you find someone who won’t judge your spending and expectations to support their family like current GF. Will be interested in OP response when others like myself point out this relationship isn’t lasting.
You don’t owe anything to a girlfriend’s sister. Your dog is family.
I’d move the girlfriend out before letting her sister move in. NTA
NTA, and if my partner referred to my “furbaby” as just a pet, I’d be done.
NTA Girlfriend sounds greedy and delusional. I would rethink the relationship.
NTA as owner it your responsible to pay for your dog health. You are not obligated to pay rent to your girlfriend’s sister.When we help someone, they will start to feel that it is your duty to help them. If sister still doesn’t have the rent next month, your girlfriend will expect you to pay it.
NTA, your girlfriend can go move I with her sister and help her cover the rent if she’s that upset and wants to fix her sisters life.
NTA. They are. Your dog is more your responsibility than your girlfriend and definitely more than your gfs sister is. Your dog didn’t choose to need surgery. Your gfs sister chose (through whatever choices) to wait until it was dire to beg for help. If the gf is so concerned, she can pay her sister’s rent.
Ummm, since when is it your responsibility to look after your gf’s sister?
She is a big girl and can look after herself. If she can’t pay her rent, she goes back to her parents or finds something she can afford.
The fact you paid for your dogs surgery has nothing to do with this. It’s irrelevant because it’s not anyone else’s business but yours.
NTA get a new girlfriend and don’t move in with someone who is an enabler to shitty family members with others people money
You ate not responsible for your girlfriend’s sister’s living situation. You are only responsible for you and your dog. Heck you are not even responsible for your girlfriend’s financial situation on top of that. So I would suggest getting a new girlfriend if your current one is trying to get you to pay a strangers rent.
Time to eject honestly.
Absolutely NTA. Your family member comes before hers.
I think she has more of a point regarding her coming to live with you. If your girlfriend lives with you, it’s her home as well. Bringing someone else in is a two-yes decision though.
NTA. But more importantly, how is your dog??
NTA. Have your girlfriend move in with her sister and help pay her rent.
NTA. I’d check that relationship though. Good luck with your pup.
NTA. You’re not married. You aren’t dating the sister. So there’s absolutely no reason why you should help the sister pay HER rent. Why didn’t she pay it? Does she have a shopping or drug addiction? No job?
Absolutely DO NOT let the sister move in. Then you’ll be stuck with both of the freeloaders.
NTA.
NTA. Did your gf think you should put your dog down so that her sister could avoid responsibility for her poor decisions? If so, then find a new gf. She and her sister can find an apartment together. As for letting her move in…you made the right decision. If she gets evicted, she will not be able to rent a new apartment without someone guaranteeing her rent. You will be stuck with her.
NTA. Does she only want you for your money?
Lose the girlfriend. Keep the dog.
NTA!
Wow, so YOUR dog required surgery and fortunately you were able to afford it to take care of your dog, which is fully your responsibility and your honor since you love your dog and want to continue life with him. That’s wonderful!! I hope he’s recovering well.
And your girlfriend is awful enough to make you feel bad about paying for his necessary surgery because her sister can’t afford rent??
That is ridiculous, rude, mean and so lacking in compassion that it’s kind of unhinged.
With a reaction that out of line and that’s strong, she’s likely going to resent you and your dog, potentially to the dog’s harm.
This would be an absolute dealbreaker for me.
I mean, thinking that you should prioritize her sisters and subsidize her rent instead of providing the necessary medical care for your companion of nearly a decade???
Your girlfriend and her sister are TAs
You are absolutely NTA.
That’s some breakup time, not some letting them move into your house time. My goodness, pleas don’t let them move in and take advantage of you. They’re very selfish and they aren’t your family. Your dog is.
Your money, your choice. She can help her sister- she is nothing to you.
NTA. You have a responsibility to your dog. You have zero responsibility to your girlfriend’s sister. Your girlfriend can help her, their parents can help her. If they can’t, that’s unfortunate, but incurs no obligation on you. If you bailed her out, you would never be repaid and it would be money gone instead if having the reward of restoring your dog to good health and a longer, happier life.
The fact that your girlfriend expects you to bail out her sister and even more so her “just a dog” attitude are both huge red flags I hope you don’t ignore. Don’t leave her alone with your dog. I’m serious. She resents him or her and you for that matter and might take it out on your pup.
NTA. Your girlfriends sister is an adult and should find her own way. Tell her to talk to her parents. Needing 8k for her is ridiculous. I hope your dog is ok!
NTA
Your dog is YOUR family
Why would you help her sister? She’s no relation to you. Did your girlfriend offer to financially help ‘her’ sister?
NTA
Hope your doggy is much improved
NTA. You made a commitment to the dog when you adopted it. You have no such commitment to your girlfriend’s sister.
As a dog lover, I’d recommend rethinking your commitment to the girlfriend as well😂. Or at least have a long serious talk about how she views your financial responsibility in terms of her and her family’s needs. She might have expectations that you don’t want to meet.
NTA. Why would you pay for her sister? Why doesn’t she pay herself if she’s so concerned about her situation? Let her keep her sister afloat in a place she can’t afford if that’s her wish. That has nothing to do with you. Are you sure that your gf is with you for the right reasons? You have a big house so you’re an ideal provider…..
Your girlfriend should help her sister with her rent, not you.
Only a gf, yet already so entitled. Not a good outlook
NTA
NTA but before moving in the sister think about moving out the (ex)gf.
NTA the dog can’t go to work and make money to pay for his own surgery. Your girlfriend’s sister can pick up an extra job, budget better, or find a cheaper place to live. Also, she is literally prioritizing someone else’s rent over your dog being able to walk.
I wouldn’t spend 8K on a 9 year old dog, but I sure wouldn’t spend it on a girlfriend’s sister. You could only have made a better choice if you ditched the girlfriend too.
NTA…
In the choice beyween the dog and the entitled GF…
The dog wins.
GTFO of that relationship now.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger (when I’m in need)
But she ain’t messin’ with no broke…
Your girlfriend can move in with her sister.
I would rethink your relationship with your girlfriend. She seems entitled enough to give your money away, and entitled to your home by wanting to move someone in.
What you spent your money on is neither here nor there. It could of been a pets surgery, a motorbike, international vacation or burned in a pile, it doesn’t matter. Its your money and she has no say in it.
NTA
Uh, why is it your responsibility to financially support her sister? Why doesn’t she help her sister? Why don’t their parents help her? Your GF sounds very entitled.
NTA. Hope your dog is recovering well. Also your gf is a gold digger.
Uh, why is it your responsibility to financially support her sister? Why doesn’t she help her sister? Why don’t their parents help her? Your GF sounds very entitled. I hope that your pup recovers well. Keep the dog. Find a new GF.
NTA- you’re responsible for your dog. You’re NOT responsible for another adult
Absolutely NTA. The dog is more of your family than her sister. If your girlfriend wants to help her sister out that’s fine, but it’s definitely not on you to do it.
I would question your relationship at this point if this is someone who you want to continue seeing. She’s showing you who she is, believe her.
You get more love and devotion from Your Dog, than from Your Girlfriends Sister.
NTA. Drop the girlfriend.
It is not your job to take care of your girlfriend’s sister. Heck, it’s not your job to take care of anyone who isn’t your wife. Just because you have money doesn’t mean they have any right to it.
If your gf doesn’t understand that start rethinking if she’d be with you if you had nothing.
NTA. Sounds like you need a new girlfriend. She’s sounds like she’s really good at sleeving your money and offering your house. Why didn’t she help her sister with money or a place to stay??
And, as a pet owner who did everything I could to make life better for my dog when she had back issues, having a girlfriend who was supportive meant a lot. She now my wife. Had she reacted like your girlfriend did, of be single, lol
Dump your gf, she is a gold digger! She will probably abuse your poor dog as revenge on her sisters poor choices. Run and protect your dog!
NTA but your gf can move in with her sister and they can split rent.
You are responsible for your dog, not for your girlfriends sister. NTA
NTA. I’m glad you took care of the dog, more ROI.
YTA — I originally was along the lines of “no way, choose the dog” but here’s the thing, you didn’t have to choose between them. You could have helped both
Are you dating this girl to marry her? If that’s the case, then you’re choosing to also marry her family. Sure, her sister might have made mistakes that got her there but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve support or help. You have the means to help her, and I’m not suggesting paying her rent, but let her stay for a month or two to save up and get a place she CAN afford. Once you fall behind on rent, it’s so hard to get caught up without a little bit of help from someone. She needs a break of paying bills so she can get her savings back and get into a spot she can afford. This person is important to your girlfriend, therefore should be important to you as well.
The sister is not ENTITLED to your help financially or otherwise, but your GIRLFRIEND is entitled to your help and support and you don’t seem to care about her or the people she cares about at all.
Reddit is too quick to say “dump them” when honestly, you are the one causing the problem
NTA and you need a new girlfriend.
NTA, your gf can fund her sister’s rent problem herself if she’s so inclined.