My dad got married to Kathleen when I (22m) was 15. Kathleen has two kids. A daughter I never met. I think she’s in her late 20s or early 30s. And then she has a son Benjamin (18m).
Benjamin is allergic to peanuts and shellfish. On top of that him and Kathleen are very picky eaters. His diet when I lived there consisted of pizza, fries and burgers and beef and cheese tacos. He didn’t eat fruits or vegetables. He didn’t eat any meat except for beef. He’d eat chocolate and ice cream and stuff though. And he was SO bad at checking labels and he had a few allergic reactions while we lived together. One time he had to be rushed to the hospital and spent a week in because he had such a bad reaction.
Kathleen’s super picky too. I can’t remember all the stuff she wouldn’t eat but it included any kind of fish, any kind of potato, rice, pasta, bread and stuff like that.
This left us in a really weird position when my dad wanted to order takeout or take us out to eat. We had a couple of fast food places where Kathleen ordered salad and Benjamin ordered pizza and burgers usually. The food was never great but could’ve been worse. I think the part that sucked was every time we ordered out for my birthday or went out for my birthday it was one of the two places we had. Even a Taco place was out unless they’d remove all veggies and extras except for the meat and cheese. And some places still put “gross shit” to quote Benjamin on them when they did seemingly comply. Anytime still they want to do a family meal out they expect us all to go to their chosen fast food places that work for Benjamin and Kathleen and I’m tired of dealing with them (they’re insufferable about how others eat too) so I never go.
A few weeks ago I had a birthday dinner with my girlfriend and some family and friends. Dad wanted to come and he expected Kathleen and Benjamin to be invited too. I told him that was okay if they’d eat where I had chosen. I got an email from Kathleen and calls from dad where I was told my restaurant of choice did not meet the needs and requirements of Benjamin and Kathleen and would me and the rest of the guests travel out of state for a dinner for my birthday so we could go to one of Benjamin and Kathleen’s choices.
My answer was no and I told dad he could still come but I was not changing where I have MY birthday dinner. Kathleen sent another email asking why I was being so hostile like her daughter and I should care about my family’s health and interests.
Dad and Kathleen were more upset to learn some of dad’s side flew out to join us for dinner when they typically won’t accept plans from them to eat out. So now I’m facing more of their anger for my choice of restaurant.
AITA?
Comments
Of course NTA.
Your birthday, your choice of restaurant. If they can’t handle a restaurant then they shouldn’t go. Their actions, their consequences. Nta, happy birthday!
Obviously NTA. And I say this as a picky eater!
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Nta. Its your birthday. And it sounds like she is fully just your dad’s wife. Not ant kind of stepmom. She doesnt have to come..
BTW blocking toxic people is fine to do. Even if they are related to you by blood or marriage.
NTA
They sound insufferable. If all their diets are so restrictive then they can’t go out for a meal. Stay home and meet up for some other event. But you shouldn’t have to spend your birthday at taco bell because she eats like she has an ED and he eats like a 5 year old.
NTA Guess we know why you’ve never met the daughter.
NTA So your dad’s relatives avoid eating with him & Kathleen because of the boring food. And jumped at the opportunity to have a nice meal with you.
The rule is simple, your birthday, you choose.
Your dad can go and have chicken nuggets with his wife any day he feels like it. But does not get to dictate how you organise your birthday party
You’re only TA if you picked a Thai or Indian place or someplace that throws peanuts on the floor(places I mostly can’t go to with similar – real – allergies). Otherwise normal humans find something at a restaurant they can eat and accommodate for others, especially if they need occasional accommodations themselves!
NTA. The utter nerve of demanding someone change their birthday plans, which includes their friends and loved ones, to accommodate your unreasonable preference.
Go ahead and tell them to shut the fuck up and not come. This includes your pathetic dad too.
NTA, maybe ask them why it is always you that is asked to accommodate them and why can’t they accommodate you sometimes and see what they have to say? If they don’t like the places you choose then they don’t have to come. If your dad won’t go without them, then he misses out on stuff, too bad. You should not have to be the one to always accommodate others.
NTA- You invited them. This dinner wasn’t about Kathleen or her son. It was for your birthday and planned by you. Just like if they were invited to dinner with anyone else, you decide to go to the inviters choice of restaurant or not depending on your dietary needs. If they choose not to, that is their decision. Most restaurants will accommodate food allergies, so this is really not about that. It is about their very limited diet affecting everyone around them. That level of pickiness is not something that most people will put up with in people you don’t have a strong relationship with. It’s probably why your dad’s family don’t try to eat with him and his wife. It’s too much work.
I have dietary preferences and there have been times they are crazy strict because of being limited because of pregnancy aversions and postpartum when eating certain foods messed with our nursing kids. If we ate at someone’s house or out to eat during those times, I either brought alternative food that fit my dietary needs and/or planned to eat more after and ate what I could. Eating out with a group or for a birthday is less about what you are eating and being together. You can do this regardless of what you do and don’t eat. Their mentality is very selfish. It’s all about them and they are unable to see how their behavior affects and turns off others from wanting to be around them.
Wait a minute…her own daughter is so fed up with the dietary nightmare that is her mother and brother that stepmom considers her hostile?
No, NTA. Accommodating for the peanut and shellfish allergy would would be a reasonable ask. Demanding that you limit your choices to two mediocre restaurants on your birthday to accommodate the stepmother and stepbrother’s dietary dysfunction is absurd. Leveling up that demand to you must not only give up your preferred choice to travel to another state in order to accommodate their dietary demands is ridiculously entitled.
Just put them on mute and enjoy the culinary freedom you now enjoy.
So they want you and others to travel to a whole other state just to eat at a Wendy’s? NTA and its time to tell your dad his relationship with you can only exist if he understands its completely separate from his marital family
Your birthday, your choice, they need to get over themselves and stay home
If dear old Dad loves you, He’ll get up, suit up and show up
NTA
NTA. “Being so hostile like her daughter” says Kathleen has been pulling this entitled bs for years.
Obviously NTA but the best way to handle these things is to honestly blow them off as unimportnat, and respond as if they are asking something insane.
“What? Wait, what? Travel where? Wait, why would I and all my guests travel anywhere? This is my pre-planned birthday party.. you know that right? It’s MY event. I invited you – as a guest, which means you get to say that you’re coming or you’re not coming. You know, the way invitations work? Since when can a guest move the whole party somewhere else? LOL I must have misunderstood your text becasue that seems insane. Anyway, hope you can make it! Let me know.”
Having special food requirements is not equivalent to forcing others to abide by them. They can bring their own options (if you let a restaurant know a good chunk are fine with it – I’ve had to chk that out for ppl before) or not join in, but they cannot expect everyone else to limit themselves all the time.
This is not a food issue. It’s a manipulation and control issue.
You might see if dad would be open to therapy, honestly. He needs to see clearly what is happening here to have a loving relationship with you. Wondering what else happens in their home and if he might not be trauma bonded.
So, ofc, NTA, if this is a real story.
Ha your selfish like her daughter. Because you don’t want to eat the same subpar food you’ve been stuck with for 7 years nah especially on YOUR birthday NTA sounds like her daughter got sick of also catering to Kathleen and Benjamin
The fact that she asked “why [you] were being so hostile like HER daughter” alone makes you NTA.
Her own daughter doesn’t put up with her and your stepbrother’s shit, why should you?
NTA
Most restaurants have accommodations for common food allergies, i am getting a feeling that it is more about them being the center of attention.
Nah! Kathleen and her son both sound very selfish and entitled. It’s your birthday. I’m so glad that some of the family flew out to join you. They probably feel the same way about the restaurants that your dad’s family pick. Just go low contact with your dad and Kathleen for a while until they drop it. And tell your dad that for your birthday you’re going where you want. If they can’t figure out how to eat there, then they don’t have to come. There’s no requirement that they join you on your special day. By the way, my neighbor is a solid vegetarian and she always find something she can eat at a restaurant, even if it’s just a salad. I don’t think Kathleen and her son are even trying. They’re just lazy and want to go where they want to go with no consideration for anyone else. Happy birthday! NTA
NTA
Tell them their choices “did not meet the needs and requirements” of your birthday occasion
If they wish to fly you out at their expense to go to one of their choices, at a later date, they’re welcome to do so
You cannot modify all decisions and requirements to fit their agenda. If they wish to participate they may, if not then “oh well”
If they wanted to take you out they could have. Insisting on ruining your plans is outrageous. NTA.
Nta, step mom and bro should eat before bad just have drinks at the restaurant if they are that picky. I have massive food allergies and that’s what I do when people eat out. I like going along and being out.
The real allergies should be considered, but seriously, Benjamin can’t be bothered to pick a few shreds of lettuce off a taco? He and Kathleen aren’t just picky eaters. They’re controlling.
NTA. Of course your birthday dinner should be about what you want. Kathleen and Ben can skip the dinner or order water.
You need to mute your phone and just enjoy your birthday and don’t respond to anymore of their messages about your birthday
NTA
You know this better than anyone, but your dad sucks. 18 is old enough to figure out what you can eat when you’re at a new restaurant.
It’s not hostile to want to enjoy your birthday. What’s hostile is to try to hijack it and force everyone in the group to do something for one person they barely know.
I think you should block them for a while. So you can really enjoy your birthday. Cuz you sure can’t enjoy it with them around
So hostile like her daughter. Hmm. That’s interesting.
NTA they could order their preferences and let server know of food allergies
NTA it’s your birthday
(P.S. “why are you being so hostile like my daughter” is a sign it is not you)
NTA. Your birthday, your choice of restaurant. They can politely decline if they don’t like it.
May I suggest that, if you want to spend time with your Dad, you find something other to do besides go for a meal.
You choose your birthday dinner. If they want to take you out for a birthday dinner at a different place on a different night, cool! That’s how we do it.
There’s nothing that says they have to be in on this dinner. They can host a different one. They still should let you choose a spot, but you know that won’t happen, so just enjoy a second birthday dinner. I end up having about 5 or 6 between my family and friends.
NTA. If they come they come if they don’t they don’t. They have the option to eat before and maybe get a dessert or something. It’s your birthday celebrate where YOU want!
NTA your birthday, your choice. Actually…. You organized dinner so your choice!
You didn’t exclude Kathleen and her son, they could have attended. They could have eaten before/after the came. They could have tried the food.
I do see, however, the likely reason Kathleen’s daughter has nothing to do with them
I’m sure there was SOMETHING on the menu you chose that was not peanut or shellfish. That would be a reasonable accommodation. The picky eater part is on them. Can’t make it? So sad, too bad.
They aren’t happy with your choice of restaurant? Oh, well.
NTA it’s your birthday and you should get to decide where you want to eat!
Very much NTA. I have celiac disease. Soy is a big no-no. For my father’s birthday, he wanted to go to Hibachi. That’s not safe for me. Did I give him shit and tell him to change his plans? No. I sat that dinner out and took him somewhere we could both eat on a different day. Mine is an autoimmune disorder. I don’t expect the world to accommodate me. One dinner a year is not that big of a deal.
As someone with dietary restrictions I say your NTA. When I’m invited to places I can’t eat I might point out that I can’t eat there, and then either don’t go or go and don’t eat. simple.
NTA.
They get to pick the restaurant when they are paying. You already had plans for the night in question. If they want to host another night, that’s their choice!
NTA. I am vegetarian. It is your birthday. I’ve eaten side salads and rolls at countless steakhouses. I’ve eaten so much pineapple at the Brazilian steakhouse. Your birthday, you choose where to eat.
They can eat before or after if it is that big of a deal.
Happy birthday! NTA – your dad wants a warm bed – of course he’s going to side with his wife beyond any reasonable expectation! Your birthday, your choice! Shame on him for trying to allow her to dictate what you get to eat and cheese for your birthday. I hope you certainly enjoyed yourself with your girlfriend and your extended family and friends! It wasn’t about them! How selfish and entitled can they be!
Your catering to your stepfamily’s interest ends at making sure your stepbrother’s allergies are accounted for. I thought i was picky, but that’s nothing compared to them. It’s your birthday. You should go where you want.
Katherine and Benjamin can learn to expand their diets, or they can do what vegans have done since time immemorial: Eat before they go and have a drink and a side.
NTA
NTA. I am celiac. That means I pre eat and show up for drinks a lot. I’ve also called fancier places in advance not at a rush time to speak to someone. The place near me will do gluten free Indian food for me if I give them a couple hours of heads up.
NTA. It’s your birthday, it’s your choice of restaurant. You did invite your dad and he is welcome to come, but the rest of them can go suck it. If it was only to accommodate your half-brother’s peanut allergy, that would be one thing because when it comes to that, his life is at risk. But this is far beyond that. Just to accommodate their pickiness — no. If they don’t like your choice of restaurant, they are welcome to stay home And for them to have the nerve to ask you to take your birthday dinner out of state to accommodate them, are they kidding? That is so freaking ridiculous. it is unbelievable. Enjoy your birthday dinner. Happy Birthday!
NTA sounds like you never met her daughter bc even she can’t stand her mom and brother.
I have food allergies and I would never expect anyone to eat where, what and when there is food I can eat. I still go to be with friends and/or family. I just don’t order what I am allergic to. You need to stand your ground.
Self awareness. lol
Nta.
It amazes me how entitled people are. I have been invited out to many events/parties where what was served/available was not appealing to me & I still attended for the fun & socializing. If I have enough notice, I eat before/bring something if appropriate/ eat after. Why do people place such a small issue on an entire event. Becky can’t eat gluten, ok eat before. Tom is allergic to seafood ok see you next event. Why is this an issue for anyone other than the person it affects.
Hostile like her daughter? Her grown daughter wants nothing to do with her, that should tell you more than enough. If anything reach out to the daughter to ask why she is estranged, and if step-mom gets nasty throw her failures as a mother in her face as quoted by her daughter.
NTA- Your dad needs a wake up call. If his wife’s own daughter won’t keep in touch there is more to the story to be sure.
How about they take you out another time and they can take you to one of their places. Or just meet up and not have food. Outings don’t have to be strictly food based. NTA. They will or will not get over it. Oh well.
NTA. Your. Kathleen and her son have been catered to for years, why should you have to suffer any longer?
NTA
But it’s worth considering that if you intend to maintain a relationship with these people, shrugging these things off and compromising in their favor might just be worth the simplicity
See now personally, I don’t really care about my birthday. So I’m not going to bother negotiating whatever restaurant people want to go to, I’m just going to decide if I want to see these people at all, if so, sure they can pick a boring restaurant.
In my book The alternative was I don’t get a free meal.
I’m not saying that you should have compromised or should even consider it, I’m just saying that some people aren’t really worth taking anything but the path of least resistance. That may well be simply not existing near them and not being social with them. That may also mean compromising on a restaurant even if it’s your birthday.
I think ultimately it’s just important that you are comfortable with whatever you choose because you have that right
NTA. Kathleen has been holding people hostage for years with her dietary requirements and she’s been training her son to be the same kind of AH.
I could understand making sure that this is a peanut-free restaurant, but everything else is just them being picky AHs.
They can do what other people with extreme dietary restrictions do – they eat their meals before the dinner and they attend the dinner just to socialize and perhaps they find an appetizer or salad that works for them, or they look through the menu in advance to see if there are any items that meet their dietary requirements and/or call ahead to see if they could bring in outside food/make a special request.
NTA. I’m the allergic person in my family and I would never expect anyone to change their birthday plans for me.
Nta and I guess you know why you have never met her daughter
NTA
It’s ridiculous for them to make you accommodate them all the time. When was the last time the consider or put your preference first. They should also cares about your interest.
They are to not attend if the food is not to their liking. Your presence is required, not theirs.
NTA
NTA. Tell them that you felt like getting proper nutrition after being forced to try and fight off Ricketts and Scurvy because his wife and stepson are morons and have sh!t diets.
Nta. Your father chose to accommodate toddler appetites over his daughter who wanted to eat somewhere like an adult. Dad made a choice and so did you. I would stop talking to your awful stepmother and her son too. They sound exhausting
NTA. This is YOUR birthday dinner. Kathleen and Benjamin don’t have to come. If they did want to come, then they could beforehand and be there to celebrate you.
I think you handled this really well. We are all allowed to have our boundaries and we don’t have accomodate everyone.
Happy Birthday!!!
The temptation to reach out to her ‘hostile’ daughter and ask her to join the celebrations just to rant & cause drama would be too irresistible for me😄
And I’d follow up with a little picture of social media of you two eating a wedge salad covered in thick dressing or something else that may cause gagging/chemical comments. And a caption like, ‘birthday celebrations with family & fabulous food!’
You’re old enough to have your own birthday.
NTA. Here’s how you know you’re not in the wrong:
“Dad and Kathleen were more upset to learn some of dad’s side flew out to join us for dinner when they typically won’t accept plans from them to eat out”.
Your father’s side of the family probably came to celebrate with you because they’re sick of having to deal with ‘food requirements’ just to sit and have a nice meal without the added drama.
This was YOUR birthday and you should be able to have it wherever and however you want. If your dad and stepmom don’t like the venue, they can stay home.
Happy belated birthday.🎉
NTA – next question, lol🤷♀️
You’re 22 an adult that can make their own choices! It’s your Birthday and you get to decide how and who you want to spend it with. Do you, be happy and live your life.
Your Dad, his wife and her kid will either get over it or they won’t. They sound insufferable.
NTA
There are several things I’d be telling her. The first is that the birthday person gets to pick the restaurant. No one else gets an input on their day.
Secondly, I’d let her know that me not being upset that they don’t come is me caring about their health. It’s not like you’re forcing them to come and eat there.
I’d also let her know that it’s selfish and entitled to expect others to cater to them. Come or don’t come, but don’t be rude and expect others to change plans to accommodate your pickiness. (His limited diet is due to pickiness, not simply his allergies. Most places can accommodate allergies by just telling the wait staff and ordering something that doesn’t have those items.)
I’d let dad know that maybe if he didn’t expect everyone to accommodate their pickiness, then maybe family would join for their celebrations too.
Unfuckingbelievable.
It was just an invite, not a summons. You say you’re inviting them to join you at xyz and they say it’s gotta be ABC. OK. We’ll miss you (maybe). It’s their choice to decline, not to try to change Your plans. See you next time.
NTA Benjamin and Kathleen (and your dad) sound insufferable.
NTA and I think we both know why you never had a chance to meet her daughter. lol.
NTA – Kathleen has main character syndrome and people are sick of her. You extended an invite to YOUR birthday dinner. You didn’t invite them to a “choose your own dinner adventure.”
No one is obligated to cater to Kathleen and her son. When it’s THEIR birthdays they can do what they want.
Also the fact that Kathleen refers to her own daughter as “hostile” tells me Kathleen is the toxic problem. And the reason you never met the daughter after 7 years tells me all I need to know. That girl went NC and never looked back!
Your father will continue to be isolated from his family members if he doesn’t accept/realize that his wife is unlikeable and she is the reason no one wants to spend time with them.
NTA. I have food allergies and go into anaphalactic shock when exposed. I’ve missed numerous birthdays and family dinners because they wanted seafood. I just stay home, it’s not my day and it’s not the birthday person’s fault I’m allergic.
This is absurd. Wtf is even wrong with them? Your bday your choice. You literally said they were welcome to come if they would go to your restaurant of choice. Like come on man.
The entitlement was so real of the OP’s father and his wife. But the travel to a different state part really took it to the next level for me too.
Honestly, the fact that other family members have opted to travel and celebrate with you shows that the demands of the father and wife are issues that have nothing to do with the OP, and they are just salty 🧂🧂🧂
Family flew out for a dinner?
They are out of touch with reality!
NTA. Happy Birthday. I hope you ate, drank and got merry
Happy birthday and no, not the A, for choosing what you want.
>I should care about my family’s health and interests.
That’s a two way street ma’am. I’m sure your restaurant choice would have had a salad for your MIL and most restaurants allow people with severe allergies to join in a large group meal with a their own food. This was something pretty easy for to workaround if they really wanted to be there.
Well, you never meeting Kathleen’s daughter is starting to make a lot more sense.
NTA.
NTA. Your birthday your choice. They don’t have to come. In fact, probably best if they didn’t
Kathleen sounds like A LOT.
INFO:
How has Benjamin not gotten scurvy yet???
(NTA. I’d probably also go LC/NC with them going forward. And, hey, potential relationship with sister if only to bond over how ridiculous they are.)
NTA for info, are your mom/step brother diagnosed with autism or even ARFID? Sounds like they have something going on, but they need to sort their shit out. You can’t just do two restaurants especially if not everyone loves those and expect that to be fine. If you do feel the need to say I absolutely won’t eat anywhere else that’s your choice but expect other people will eventually want to eat elsewhere and you’ll be left out. She left you no middle ground at all here.
At least once a year, you should have the right to eat what you want. Dad’s wife and son do not need to participate if they can’t cater to your wishes once a year!
NTA
They weren’t even INVITED! If u wanted 2 go 2 the shrimp and peanut factory 4 UR BIRTHDAY, it’s UR BIRTHDAY! Ugh! NTA
Your birthday. Your choice. It’s a rule.
WHAT? No, of course NTA and no wonder the daughter is estranged
“Why am I being so hostile like her daughter”. Sounds like daughter bugged out and never looked back because mommy is a controlling nutbag. If even your flesh and blood doesn’t want to put up with your shit you MAY have issues, unless you are lazy enough.
Also, tell your dad that HIS household problems are not YOUR issues. This was your birthday, you got the say and you made very clear boundaries for it. If they didn’t like it then either put up or shut up, no reason to bitch about the destination on the path you seem to have chosen. Edit: forgot to add NTA
NTA
I completely understand why people have to avoid certain foods due to allergies, but I wonder why parents raise kids who are so incredibly picky that they won’t eat fruits, vegetables, or any meat other than beef. It sounds like a recipe for nutritional deficiencies and colon cancer! Maybe people make too big a deal about introducing foods to babies and toddlers and it becomes a psychological power struggle. OP, of course you’re NTA, but now that you’re in your 20’s, I would suggest continuing to push back on your dad’s wife’s requests. I think she is a control freak.
Sooo, it is OP’s birthday. Extended family is soooo excited to join the celebration at OP’s chosen restaurant they are flying in from out of town to join in. Dad’s wife’s oldest child has no relationship with wife or brother bc of this. Dad is DEMANDING birthday boy change all plans to do what his wife wants for OP’s birthday?
Oh heeeeelllllll no. NTA. Time to block Dad and his wife, etc. esp when Dad was told he was welcome to join the celebration AS LONG AS it was at OP’s restaurant choice.
NTA. Birthday person gets their choice of restaurants within reason. This is common and accepted custom many of most places. Anyone who can’t abide the choice ways elsewhere. It really is that simple.
NTA.
Your birthday, your decision.
A grown ass adult should be able to find something to eat at any restaurant, and if they can’t, that’s their problem and no one else’s. You don’t need to accommodate someone’s food choices, ever (allergies are another story, but choices…no).
My fiance is well aware that he is a picky eater. We went to a very authentic Vietnamese restaurant for my brother’s bday a few months ago. He was able to order steamed rice and grilled pork. When I want sushi, he orders noodles or teriyaki chicken. He knows how to navigate a menu because he’s a functional adult. Anyone who can’t do this should not be eating out.
NTA. I know it’s hard to please everyone. I traveled once with a friend who had food allergies. Usually they could find something for her to eat. But it could be painful listening to her being so demanding to the staff when they tried so hard to please him.
If I didn’t/couldn’t eat at a particular place but I really wanted to be there, I would eat ahead of time and join for the festivities/company. Or bring my own food. NTA
“Dad, Kathleen, you should care about our family’s health and interests.
And NO my friend, family and I are not going to fly to your state for MY birthday dinner!”
The audacity!!!
NTA If they were unable to eat at the restaurant they could have gracefully declined to accept the invitation, your Dad could have gone by himself, or they could have hosted a separate dinner for you at their home or a restaurant that would work for them.
It is rude for the wife and son to expect you to change your plans for a celebration with multiple people to accommodate the two of them. When people have allergies, strict dietary requirements, or limited foods they eat, they should accept that there are food centered social events they won’t be able to participate in.
NTAH
The fact that she is calling you hostile “like her daughter” is very telling. Move on. She is a drama queen.
NTA.
Holy smokes, when I was first reading your post and it said 18m I thought you meant 18 months old. Bad enough. But if he is 18 years old, he should learn how to live in the real world. Nearly any place should have something on the menu even picky eaters would like and he needs to stop behaving like a toddler.
Updateme
Not everyone with a dietary restriction insists on hijacking everyone else’s event, especially a birthday celebration. What entitled assholes.
I would just simply say if you don’t wanna go to the restaurant that I have chosen for my birthday I will not take offence if you do not want to come.
NTA
Don’t like the restaurant menu choices? order a drink and shut up, or don’t come. It’s MY birthday and that means MY preference.
This is very much like demanding the cake be vanilla because one of the party goers is allergic to chocolate. It’s not their birthday, is it? so this is easy – they can disinvite themselves or – wait for it – they can opt out of having a slice of cake. FFS
Fuck them, its your birthday
NTA
No. You’re 22 years old. Go out to a place that you pick.
NTA. I thought it was weird you never met her daughter and then I realized she is low or no contact with them and I understand why. I don’t know how your dad does it. He must have been very desperate.
Does that 18-year-old ever eat anything remotely healthy? Because:
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/blinded-junk-food-teen-loses-eyesight-years-long-bad-diet-n1049181
>and I should care about my family’s health
That’s ironic, since Benjamin lives on junk food.
You’re NTA. You had to put up with that when you were a kid living at home, but you don’t have to cater to them now.
Happy Birthday !!!! Sounds like it going to be a good time with less baggage. Enjoy you day !! Remember this is you day not the other step mother and brothers day, they are the ones being hostile and a pain in the ass. That is hilarious that you Dads side if the family are coming to help you celebrate.
Plus that is Total Bull Shit ,they can’t eat at the place you chose. Every restaurant had different things they serve that would meet there need. Kathleen is just a pain in the ass and a pain in your Dad ass too. LOL
NTA. For an 18 year old who gags every time to express disgust at any food he doesn’t like and calls it “shit”, Benjamin is definitely acting like a spoiled little kid. Also, bold of Kathleen to talk about family’s “health” when her son only eats fast food and sweets. Don’t want to sound harsh, but with such a diet, he either won’t live long or will have to deal with a bunch of diseases in the future.
wait, your dad’s relatives refuse to go out for a meal with dad & Kathleen, AND Kathleen’s own daughter refuses to go to a restaurant with them.
>Kathleen sent another email asking why I was being so hostile like her daughter
did I read that right?
and she thinks scolding & guilttripping you is going to help?
I want to hear why the sister is no contact. That has to be a great story.
NTA
When you were a kid you had to cater to them. You are now an adult and it is YOUR birthday. If they don’t like the venue they don’t have to come
your birthday your choice they can pound sand
Well now I know why you haven’t met her daughter, she probably was fed up with her mother and brother.
NTA. It’s your birthday, if they don’t like the restaurant you picked then they could 1) eat before hand or 2) don’t come. They sound insufferable.
I would try to meet her daughter. You could be great friends.
NTA. I’m quite picky but like, no. First, those two invited themselves which is rude and two, it says a lot that even her eldest doesn’t talk to her.
Maybe the elder daughter and you need to get together, swap war stories, and enact some petty revenge?
Tell your dad “you are free to cater to their ridiculous dietary restrictions, I however refuse to as I do not have the palette of a toddle. You know when and where I will be for my birthday, feel free to come alone and enjoy a proper grown up meal”
And my petty ass would try and find SM’s daughter and invite her along
I would like that message “hey you don’t know me, but your mom is married to my dad, I’m having a birthday dinner at X restaurant and would love to have you join me for a proper grown up meal”
I’d love to hear her response 😂