My sister and I are twins. She got engaged last summer, and set a wedding date for May 22, 2026. On May 22, 2025 tho she got eloped, so she is technically married already. I am more recently engaged on 6/12/25 and my fiancé and I are planning a wedding for 4/25/2026. The reason for this being we do not want a long engagement and her family has a lot of work that they can only attend the wedding around March/April/May. We also like the date being 4,5,6. We did not plan this so I can “one up” my sister we planned it with the hope of everyone we want there being able to make it. Our venue is roughly 30 min from most guests on my side of the family, so I don’t think that’s a big deal. And we aren’t looking for money, we just want to get married. My sister is pissed off and offended by this all and thinks we should move the date till 2027. I don’t view it as a competition, just as two happy couples who want to marry one another. I am not trying to be one, but am I?
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My sister and I are twins. She got engaged last summer, and set a wedding date for May 22, 2026. On May 22, 2025 tho she got eloped, so she is technically married already. I am more recently engaged on 6/12/25 and my fiancé and I are planning a wedding for 4/25/2026. The reason for this being we do not want a long engagement and her family has a lot of work that they can only attend the wedding around March/April/May. We also like the date being 4,5,6. We did not plan this so I can “one up” my sister we planned it with the hope of everyone we want there being able to make it. Our venue is roughly 30 min from most guests on my side of the family, so I don’t think that’s a big deal. And we aren’t looking for money, we just want to get married. My sister is pissed off and offended by this all and thinks we should move the date till 2027. I don’t view it as a competition, just as two happy couples who want to marry one another. I am not trying to be one, but am I?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am planning a wedding prior to my sister and want to know if I am in the right or wrong. She was engaged before me but is already technically married as she eloped. I am not planning the wedding with the thought of ruining hers or anything of that manner. But is planning it before hers wrong?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Everyone gets married on their own time. It’s not related to when someone else gets married, and it’s not a race.
if I were your sister I’d be mad. it’s before hers and so close to her date it seems like you are trying to one up her.
YTA! She picked her date first and you still decided to schedule your date less than a month away from her. It doesn’t matter if you are trying to steal her moment or not because it is coming off as you are.
NTA- Your sister eloped. If she has a problem, she should change her date. She’s already married.
NTA. You can’t ask everyone else to put their lives on hold for the duration of a long engagement. My husband and I chose to be engaged for a little over a year, and there were three couples in my extended family who got engaged & then married within that window. Two of those couples got married two weeks apart in two different states. Everyone went to everything.
INFO
> We also like the date being 4,5,6
But it’s not?
It’s not even 4/5/26
NTA — it’s not a race.
Nta
No out of town guests and no other problem other than what she thinks you’re stealing her thunder?
This is so stupid. You plan a wedding when you can.
Also, I would never push my wedding by a year.
You have one day. The only reason to keep weddings farther apart is out of town guests. And expense for guests. But if that is a minimum since guests are local. Your sister can freak off.
She’s already married, so is the May 22, 2026 date just a party? Or are they essentially doing a “wedding” for show even though they’re already married? Just curious, but either way I say NTA as long as attending both weddings doesn’t cause a financial inconvenience to the family members/guests that want to attend both events, which it doesn’t seem like it will since your venue is only 30 mins away from most guests on your side of the family.
YTA why did you plan a date less than 30 days before your sister’s which was already planned?
Light YTA, it makes sense picking the date you did because of family only being available around that time, but with the dates being so close together and yours being first that definitely sucks for your sister. I’d assume it would be hard for your family to make it to two weddings like a month apart and there will be more stress with trying to get gifts for both and things like that ya know.
NTA. Once your sister eloped (i.e. — already got married), her 5/22/26 date became irrelevant.
This feels connected to this one: http://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1lz5afo/aita_for_telling_my_brother_i_am_upset_he_and_his/
Dates all line up with tht post so it’s…odd to me
Oh nice, brother and sister posting on Reddit, family drama in action! Well, like I told your sister, this is really worse for you: everyone (including “pervy uncle Bert” and “smelly great-auntie Camilla who kisses on the lips”) are going to choose to go to the first wedding and not the second because of lack of funds – your sister explained your extended family have financial constraints and so not everybody can be at both weddings. You’ll end up paying for more guests than her, she’ll only have the people who’s really close to her and that’s a blessing in my books.
So yeah, YTA (only lightly though, it’s not your fault she had a really long engagement!!) but it’ll sort end up being worse for you.
NTA
Honestly, I hate couples that do this. I would be pissed if I attended a wedding and found out that they’d already been married for a year. Why? Because you’re lying and deceiving your guests.
She’s not getting married. It’s not a wedding. She’s have a vow renewal.
YTA. 30 days before seems intentional. There was no need to rush, you chose too. It’s also incredibly inconvenient for your entire family. Two weddings a month apart can be a lot. I just went through this with a set of twins. One was engaged with a clear set date everyone knew about. Then the other twin got engaged and then planned a wedding for a couple months before the first twin. Literally the entire family talked about how weird it was. I garuntee your guests are going to be saying the same thing.
YTA.
YTA. Based on your sibling’s post, the weddings are in separate states less than 2 months apart. Booking a wedding that is close to someone else’s major event where there is significant overlap between guests who would need to travel to both is obnoxious.
INFO: is your sister still planning to host a wedding on 5/22/26?
YTA – you def don’t need to move it to another year but 3 days after? That’s messed up and very selfish. Also, presumably you’ll have some similar guests – this may not be convenient for guests.
NTA. Sis already got married, so she lost all dibs.
Since the family is all local, there are no travel/cost considerations so you’re fine.
Not a big wedding fan but color me confused. She’s already married. What’s the big deal? Shouldn’t she be having a party/reception and not a wedding?
NTA, but I suspect that you’ll be having issues during the wedding from your sister.
You are totally the asshole in a huge way. So is your fiance for going along with this.
NTA, if no one has to travel I don’t see why it’s an issue. Your sister is already married so it isn’t like you’re trying to beat her to the alter.
NTA. Sister is already married.