My daughter has been friends with my neighbor daughter for almost 2 months now. Over the past few days, this girl has been telling me that she hasn’t eaten anything because her mom refuses to go grocery shopping or make dinner. From what I already know her mom is almost always high and sleeps all day. This isn’t a one time thing, it’s been happening for almost a week. I have sent money at least 6 times this week for food. She’s even using tissue instead of PADS during her period because her mom won’t buy any. I’ve been helping her when I can. But I’m not in the best place financially myself. I can’t consistently provide for her or cover all of her needs. I feel like I’m only putting a temporary band aid on a much bigger problem. And At this point, I feel like I can’t just continue to let this happen. I’m planning on calling CPS to make sure she gets proper care and someone who’s looking out for her consistently. I feel guilty about it because I know it can cause conflict between her and her mom. But at the time she shouldn’t have to go without food or basic hygiene. I’m so torn between wanting to protect this girl and wanting to respect her feelings, but I know that doing nothing isn’t fair to her. I feel like I’m the only adult that’s stepping up but I can’t be her only support system. AITA for planning to involve CPS?
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My daughter has been friends with my neighbor daughter for almost 2 months now. Over the past few days, this girl has been telling me that she hasn’t eaten anything because her mom refuses to go grocery shopping or make dinner. From what I already know her mom is almost always high and sleeps all day. This isn’t a one time thing, it’s been happening for almost a week. I have sent money at least 6 times this week for food. She’s even using tissue instead of PADS during her period because her mom won’t buy any. I’ve been helping her when I can. But I’m not in the best place financially myself. I can’t consistently provide for her or cover all of her needs. I feel like I’m only putting a temporary band aid on a much bigger problem. And At this point, I feel like I can’t just continue to let this happen. I’m planning on calling CPS to make sure she gets proper care and someone who’s looking out for her consistently. I feel guilty about it because I know it can cause conflict between her and her mom. But at the time she shouldn’t have to go without food or basic hygiene. I’m so torn between wanting to protect this girl and wanting to respect her feelings, but I know that doing nothing isn’t fair to her. I feel like I’m the only adult that’s stepping up but I can’t be her only support system. AITA for planning to involve CPS?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> For calling cps on my neighbor because her daughter has been telling me for days that she hasn’t ate anything and doesn’t have PADS for her period i think calling cps would ruin things but i need others advice
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
screenshots of the text messages are in my recent post!
NTA if someone isn’t truly being cared for. Bigger question might be if anyone else is friends with this family so that there is less likelihood the mother attempting any retaliation
Updated verdict: NTA
Have you actually confirmed that the story is true? Like, have you attempted to speak to the mother to confirm that the kid isn’t just telling stories to get extra money? Because while a child should absolutely not be made to suffer without food and hygiene products, the text messages you posted elsewhere are not convincing me that this 100% isn’t a kid running a racket for pocket money.
How old is this kid? Is she visibly underweight? Dirty? Or is the only thing you’re going off of her word?
NTA. Please help this child.
nta I had gone through a similar thing with my mom and I wish someone would of done something about it even if I thought it then or not. It may be hard you may feel like a bad person but in the end your protecting a kid in the best way you know how to. Be the bad guy for the sake of the girl she needs it and deserves better then what she’s getting.
YTA because you posted this in 8 different subreddits. That makes it seem like you are trying to get as many upvotes as possible.
NTA. You can actually get in trouble if you don’t say something. Endangering the welfare of a minor is no Bueno.
NTA. Help this child. If you want to approach CPS as a foster placement for her after-the-fact, that might be kind. But this kiddo is powerless to change the situation–and you can.
ETA: I would have a conversation with the mom first, especially if all your information is coming through the kids, especially if you’re sending money through the kids. Just chat with her and and ask how things are going.
Then, go ahead and call. They will take it from there. It’s not your job to figure out if the problem “is bad enough.” They’ll look into it.
You could see if there are “blessing boxes” in your area. Although food pantries might not be accessible to youths, anyone can walk up to a blessing box and help themselves. Maybe post in a Facebook community page and ask.
NTA. Call CPS. It is not your place to have to pick up her mom’s pieces.
You mean you want to respect the girl’s feelings. What do you mean by that? Have you asked her before if it was okay to call CPS and she told you no. Or do you just assume that she doesn’t want CPS involved?
You would be TA if you didn’t report it.