I (15F) have acne. It’s not terrible, but its noticeable. I am very insecure about my face in general, so breaking out doesn’t help. I went to dinner with my mom’s side of the family for Palm Sunday. As soon as I entered the house, my grandma said “oh (my name), you have a little something on your face there…oh wait- it’s acne. (Laughs)” and she says that every time. No “hi! How are you?” My mom gave me permission to say something back the next time she said something and I happen to know that she’s insecure about having gray hair.. I said something along the lines of “wait a second grandma, you have a little something in your hair there. Oh, my bad, I was mistaken. It’s just some gray hair. You’re getting kind of old there, aren’t you? What are you pushing now? 89?” Uh safe to say I’m not coming to family dinner anytime soon. My mom is proud of me. My dad is mad. My brother understands why I said it and everyone else either pities me or is taking my grandmas side. Like, I get it was rude but I’ve been putting up with her pointing out my insecurities for years and the one time I do it I’m the bad guy?
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I (15F) have acne. It’s not terrible, but its noticeable. I am very insecure about my face in general, so breaking out doesn’t help. I went to dinner with my mom’s side of the family for Palm Sunday. As soon as I entered the house, my grandma said “oh (my name), you have a little something on your face there…oh wait- it’s acne. (Laughs)” and she says that every time. No “hi! How are you?” My mom gave me permission to say something back the next time she said something and I happen to know that she’s insecure about having gray hair.. I said something along the lines of “wait a second grandma, you have a little something in your hair there. Oh, my bad, I was mistaken. It’s just some gray hair. You’re getting kind of old there, aren’t you? What are you pushing now? 89?” Uh safe to say I’m not coming to family dinner anytime soon. My mom is proud of me. My dad is mad. My brother understands why I said it and everyone else either pities me or is taking my grandmas side. Like, I get it was rude but I’ve been putting up with her pointing out my insecurities for years and the one time I do it I’m the bad guy?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I pointed out my grandmas insecurity after she continuously pointed out mine. I feel like an asshole because she’s my grandma and I said it in front of the whole family.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
Your insult wasn’t even that bad.
Downvoting this entire sub, sorry. My issue is with the sub, not you. Your post just caught the backlash!
NTA. If anyone calls you out, ask “I’m 15. What’s her excuse?”
NTA – well done
Lol NTA
NTA that’s a horrible thing for her to say. I could add that if you want to go lower, you could always refer to her chin whiskers. Chin whiskers are an unfortunate fact of life for us older ladies, we all hate them and we hate people referring to them.
NTA she had it coming, you didn’t lie, you weren’t vulgar, and you didn’t point out anything everyone else couldn’t already see (her hair). 👏
NTA lol
NTA, good for you! I’m glad your mom has your back. I get the feeling she has been on the receiving end of her mother’s rudeness before.
I hate it when people point out stuff like that. Especially when it’s something you’re already insecure about and can’t really do anything about. It’s so messed up. Why point out that you noticed? Why not just keep it together yourself? I don’t understand that mindset with people.
NTA. Gray hair is just a sign of aging and can be dyed. Acne is something we can’t fix or easily cover up or hide.
And I hate it when people say stuff like, “just wash your face”. Like we haven’t tried that already. I have been struggling with acne my whole life. I’m now 34. I keep having breakouts. I scrub my face every single night in the shower with a silicone scrubby. Still broke out. I started using a $200 battery operated face cleansing brush. Still broke. Used the brush and a special cleanser. Still broke out. Now using the brush and an acne wash. We’ll if that helps.
NTA, because who the f— points that out on someone’s face especially a teenager. My cousin had cystic acne, she was on Accutane and it really fucked her up physically and emotionally (she started taking it at 12). If I brought it up like your grandma, I’d be dead meat. Personally, the only thing you did wrong was not lay into her harder…
She can dole it out, but she can’t take it? Lmao. NTA!
NTA, you did fine, you even went the extra step of checking with your mom first and she’s cool with what you said. Everyone else can deal, and if anyone gets on you about it just let them know that if they want to go after someone for being rude they should talk to grandma, because if she stops you’ll stop.
I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself!
NTA. Sometimes, it’s our family that bullies us vs. the stereotypical high school experience unfortunately. You’re not alone in this fact and I’m sorry your grandma likes to point out your insecurities. Mine is my weight and I never hear the end of it from family. It sucks, it really does when it comes from family.
Something something, glass houses, stones. Good for you. Your revenge was perfectly proportionate and therefore morally correct. NTA
Have you ever spoken with your grandma to express how her comments feel to you and asking her to stop? If not, it’s something to consider. NTA.
This is why I hate family gatherings. My family is way worse than this. If I gain 5 lbs they ask me if I’m pregnant. If I lose 5 lbs they ask me if I’m starving myself. I have one child, my family keeps pressuring me to have more. I’m in my mid 40s! I ain’t having more kids! My mom says it’s child abuse to just have one. Dammit, I kind of hate them sometimes.
NTA. Good for you.
It’s a funny comment but you aren’t going to be able to go through life that way. It was rude. Did your grandmother deserve it? Absolutely, but your Mom is pretty stupid to encourage it. Doors, whether friends or jobs, don’t open for rude people. They shut on them. Neither your mom or grandmother need to worry about that because of their ages, but you do.
NTA and BRAVO!!!