My (48M) partner (51M) can be a bit a little bit of a messy eater. Sometimes we’ll be eating at the table, chatting with the kids etc. and I’ll notice she has a little bit of food on her lip. I never say it out loud, but I’ll catch her eye and point to the offending spot on my own lip – the universal sign for “hey, you’ve got food on your face.”
After doing this during breakfast this morning (it was just the two of us, no kids) she snapped and said “You’re always pointing this out. It happens when you’re eating.” I just said “okay” and didn’t pursue the matter.
So, AITA for not wanting to look at a blob of yogurt on her face (and assuming that she would be embarrassed to talk to someone while her face is dirty)? I guess I could be TA for pointing it out in the first place.
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My (48M) partner (51M) can be a bit a little bit of a messy eater. Sometimes we’ll be eating at the table, chatting with the kids etc. and I’ll notice she has a little bit of food on her lip. I never say it out loud, but I’ll catch her eye and point to the offending spot on my own lip – the universal sign for “hey, you’ve got food on your face.”
After doing this during breakfast this morning (it was just the two of us, no kids) she snapped and said “You’re always pointing this out. It happens when you’re eating.” I just said “okay” and didn’t pursue the matter.
So, AITA for not wanting to look at a blob of yogurt on her face (and assuming that she would be embarrassed to talk to someone while her face is dirty)? I guess I could be TA for pointing it out in the first place.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole for pointing out the food on my partner’s face in the first place instead of just ignoring it – she could be embarrassed by me saying something about it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NAH. This is just a conversation. You gave a note, she gave a note.
I came back to edit what I thought was my faux pas but:
> My (48M) partner (51M)
then:
> blob of yogurt on her face
how you forget the gender of your partner in what 8 sentences?
NTA….better you than a stranger.
NTA. You were just trying to help her avoid an awkward moment. The way you pointed it out was subtle and nonverbal, not mean-spirited. She’s the one reacting strongly to a harmless gesture.
NTA – your partner has zero desire to develop any type of etiquette aeound eating. This is why they got defensive that it happens. The reality is for any grown human, getting food on your face is not a normal meal occurrence.
Sure, it happens but she is basically a slobby eater.
My step daughter is the same – drives my husband, her mother and basically everyone else up a wall but she’s grown now and still does the same nonsens.
Literally, noone likes eating out with her.
NAH but obviously it’s something she doesn’t appreciate. you act as if she won’t use a napkin after being done eating… you were in the privacy of your home so no one would see.
I suspect YTA.
So I am probably going against the grain here, but are you overly critical of your partner all the time?
Is it literally food hanging out on their lip for several minutes or just after taking a bite? Never mind, it doesn’t really matter because I am not sure I would believe you. I would love to hear your partner’s side of this.
Nta, it’s disgusting to see
nah, you ain’t the asshole. you’re just trying to save her from walking around with food on her face, it’s a tiny thing and you’re doing it subtly, not calling her out loud. if anything, it’s kinda thoughtful. she just gotta chill about it.
You are NTA for pointing out the yogurt.
That said, her irritation with you may be reasonable if you are frequently critical or made the gesture in a condescending way. Are there any other tensions between you or was this completely out of the blue?
NTA, but it’s better to point it out after the person has finished eating.
Use this opportunity to define what each of your preferences are in reference to food on face mishaps 🤷🏼♀️ sounds like it doesn’t matter to at least one of you
NTA in a vacuum, though nothing happens in a vacuum.
I can imagine a scenario in which you’re interrupting her in the middle of a thought to point out she’s got food on her mouth. That’s pretty annoying. Or you’re not engaging in the conversation at all until you’re jumping in pointing out the food. IDK just a couple things. It probably best to assess what is happening before and after these instances to get a better gauge on what the actual problem is, because I guarantee it’s not JUST about the food.
This is not a thing to ask the internet – this is a totally personal issue – talk with your partner about this.
Who cares it’s your love of your life move on loser . YTA
NTA for pointing it out. That’s normal, helpful behavior. Now she has told you she doesn’t want you to tell her, so you should stop, and she can deal with it.
NTA. It grosses me out so much when people have food on their face. My mom often gets food on her lips or her cheek. Fortunately she is less defensive when I point it out. (The worst is watching her eat an ice cream cone. She still has ice cream coating the inside of her mouth when she goes to take another lick. And she takes the biggest licks with her mouth all the way open. Sometimes a line of thick, creamy slobber connects the roof of her mouth to her tongue. Revolting is the word. I hope I described it enough for you to get how nasty it is)
NTA
NTA – unless we eating messy wings or ribs or such, like the moment is ALL ABOUT THIS FOOD then nope, wipe ya mouth or I’m not interacting with you during mealtimes, esp if they know they are sloppy eaters – nobody wants to look at that cum-like yogurt blob while you wag ya chin, Susan!
NTA, and since you’re both old enough to handle such a small thing maturely, I would think this is an offshoot of a more deeply held resentment.
People rarely genuinely care about the petty things. The petty things are just the doorway to voicing something else we feel unheard over.