Some backstory:
I (26M) am someone that rarely ever gets laid, nor do I seek it out. I have had sex once in my life many years ago. I don’t fiend for it and I don’t crave it, therefore I tend to push away women’s advances and don’t actively approach women myself. Attention from women is nice but I’m just trying to focus on other things for now.
My friend, let’s call him Oscar (also 26M), is the polar opposite. Not that he gets laid that often, maybe twice a year. But he thinks about it a lot. When we go to parties it’s always ”any hot girls there?”, when the cashier was a woman it’s always ”she was so hot”. You get it. Oscar is very aware of the women around him and would take any opportunity to bang any girl that is from his perspective a 5/10 upwards. Basically, Oscars world right now is completely centered around sex. He has recently been throwing around a slang, rough translation: ”gold monk”. The meaning of this phrase is ”A person who has not had sex in a year”.
Me, Oscar and five other friends (26-27M) were drinking and just chatting. These five other friends are a lot like me in that they rarely ever get laid. The topic shifts towards girls and Oscar shows an image of a particular girl he had been approached by recently. (24F)
He asks around what people think, ”is she hot?”. My friends agree that she is cute. I say (rough translation) ”I think she is trying to look like a 2010 schoolgirl in this picture, also just not my type.” He says to me ”Man you’re literally that one friend that never gets any action but when we are rating girls you say she’s mid or not my type, I can’t take your words seriously.” I get a little shocked. I do have quite high standards. Perhaps too high. But I am a little annoyed that he would disregard my opinion simply because he thinks I ”get no action”.
Some time passes. Sex gets brought up again. Oscar starts asking people “are you a gold monk?” (Keep in mind, these are his and my close friends. He absolutely knows the answer to this question for all of them.) My friends ask “what is a gold monk?”. He explains, and they nod yes in order. He gets to me and I of course also say yes. Then Oscar goes: “Let’s go guys i’m the only one of us that isn’t a gold monk!”. At this point I am thinking he is beyond obnoxious and blood is getting to my head.
Me: You are acting like a complete duchebag calling everyone gold monk right now.
Oscar: Okay, but you are the one guy I won’t listen to on this matter. (Likely referencing what we had gone over before)
Me: What is that supposed to mean? You won’t listen to anyone that hasn’t had sex the past year? Are you really that proud of not being a fucking “gold monk”?
Oscar: Again, I won’t listen to your opinion on this subject.
Me: You are literally just a picture perfect duchebag right now.
Oscar: I think you are just overreacting to being called a gold monk honestly. Chill out.
I keep thinking, did I overreact? Nobody else reacted the way I did. Was I out of line calling him out like that?
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Some backstory:
I (26M) am someone that rarely ever gets laid, nor do I seek it out. I have had sex once in my life many years ago. I don’t fiend for it and I don’t crave it, therefore I tend to push away women’s advances and don’t actively approach women myself. Attention from women is nice but I’m just trying to focus on other things for now.
My friend, let’s call him Oscar (also 26M), is the polar opposite. Not that he gets laid that often, maybe twice a year. But he thinks about it a lot. When we go to parties it’s always ”any hot girls there?”, when the cashier was a woman it’s always ”she was so hot”. You get it. Oscar is very aware of the women around him and would take any opportunity to bang any girl that is from his perspective a 5/10 upwards. Basically, Oscars world right now is completely centered around sex. He has recently been throwing around a slang, rough translation: ”gold monk”. The meaning of this phrase is ”A person who has not had sex in a year”.
Me, Oscar and five other friends (26-27M) were drinking and just chatting. These five other friends are a lot like me in that they rarely ever get laid. The topic shifts towards girls and Oscar shows an image of a particular girl he had been approached by recently. (24F)
He asks around what people think, ”is she hot?”. My friends agree that she is cute. I say (rough translation) ”I think she is trying to look like a 2010 schoolgirl in this picture, also just not my type.” He says to me ”Man you’re literally that one friend that never gets any action but when we are rating girls you say she’s mid or not my type, I can’t take your words seriously.” I get a little shocked. I do have quite high standards. Perhaps too high. But I am a little annoyed that he would disregard my opinion simply because he thinks I ”get no action”.
Some time passes. Sex gets brought up again. Oscar starts asking people “are you a gold monk?” (Keep in mind, these are his and my close friends. He absolutely knows the answer to this question for all of them.) My friends ask “what is a gold monk?”. He explains, and they nod yes in order. He gets to me and I of course also say yes. Then Oscar goes: “Let’s go guys i’m the only one of us that isn’t a gold monk!”. At this point I am thinking he is beyond obnoxious and blood is getting to my head.
>Me: You are acting like a complete duchebag calling everyone gold monk right now.
>Oscar: Okay, but you are the one guy I won’t listen to on this matter. (Likely referencing what we had gone over before)
>Me: What is that supposed to mean? You won’t listen to anyone that hasn’t had sex the past year? Are you really that proud of not being a fucking “gold monk”?
>Oscar: Again, I won’t listen to your opinion on this subject.
>Me: You are literally just a picture perfect duchebag right now.
>Oscar: I think you are just overreacting to being called a gold monk honestly. Chill out.
I keep thinking, did I overreact? Nobody else reacted the way I did. Was I out of line calling him out like that?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I called my friend out and he thought i was an asshole for overreacting.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
i hope he understand that you didn’t wanted to hurt him
Oscar’s fixation on sex makes him a jerk. You had every right to call him out.
Why are the rest of you friends with Oscar? He doesn’t respect people that haven’t had sex in the span of 12 months ? NTA
NTA and you probably need to find someone else to pal around with, because Oscar’s going to bring you nothing but drama.
i do feel you’re overreacting especially since you know how your friend is and you’re still friends with him
cut him off if he is that annoying
NTA
I bet you ten years from now you will be hanging out with your other “gold monk” friends and guess who wont be part of that group?
This obnoxious hyper masculine bro behavior gets old fast, and its sounds like your other friends are quickly getting tired of his bullshit too.
I’d tell this friend to count to a billion and call me when he was done.
You guys all sound like porn addicted losers. Esh.
This one’s AI, right?
NTA. You are describing my twin brother. Dude got railed once (did not finish) and ALWAYS tells me that I can’t even participate in discussions about anything sexual, because I’m a virgin. I’m not even allowed to make a steamy joke in his presence, because I would have to have sex for the joke to be legit. My family is quite embarrased for him…
NTA- Oscar is exhibiting douchbag behavior.
I don’t know about this one. He’s trying to share his excitement about a lady he’s interested in and you kind of shitted in his parade by talking down about the girl.
While I don’t like anything he said, and am fully supportive of your position regarding women, you did kind of started this interaction. I think deep down you wanted some sort of confrontation.
It honestly seems like all of you could stand to work on your social skills