I (16m) was diagnosed with a stutter and dyspraxia of speech when I was in preschool. I had to attend speech therapy and play therapy for the anxiety that came from it. Both helped but nothing cures it and I won’t grow out of them. For a few years my parents were great. They made it as stress-free as they could and it was a great environment to grow up in.
That changed when I was 10. I had been doing great. Then my parents announced they were getting divorce and the emotions of it all caused me to regress and more regression came when they met the steps (their new spouses). My parents took all the good they’d done and threw it away because from the time I regressed until now they have acted like it was me trying to manipulate them into staying together and trying to get rid of their spouses. Because of that, and probably just because of personality, the steps are just as bad. I don’t like talking to the steps and it bothers them. But I never got comfortable around them before they were on me for messing up words and stuff.
My (at the time) speech therapist told my parents upheaval and traumatic events could cause regression and divorce could be one of those, so could remarriage. But they took it as her judging them for divorcing and remarrying and they reported her and I had to get another speech therapist which caused more setbacks because it’s not that easy to go from one to another. It took a few before I settled again.
But then whoever had custody of me that week went with their spouse and became so overbearing and even now at 16 it’s the same. It’s destroyed any progress and I’m now in the regressed state almost constantly. My other therapy doesn’t help anymore either because they do the same there. My parents and the steps basically expect it to cure me. They always ask when I’ll be talking normally again or when we don’t ever need to deal with this again. They ask the therapists why I needed a lifetime of speech therapy every few weeks and every week one side or the other is there quizzing her on everything. They did this with the last three and even try to insist on being there. They have tried to chase off more speech therapists and even make more threats to report them.
My mom’s been pregnant twice since remarrying and both times she was basically verbally abusive. The same thing happened when my dad’s wife was pregnant and for the first year after she had my half sister. My dad would get mad at me then for upsetting his wife. My mom’s husband in general is just really aggressive when he talks to me so it’s not very different at any particular time.
A few weeks ago I got to speak to my speech therapist about everything and I told her I had no motivation or energy to keep working at stuff and I needed to pull back. I told her to just say I wasn’t engaging anymore to my parents since otherwise they would probably report her if they knew she was “agreeing” to me pulling back. She suggested to them that I needed a break because I was burned out and not progressing or engaged like I was before.
Now my parents and the steps are mad at me for pulling back and they said there is no excuse and that it’s a failed attempt to make them get back together because they never will and my family has changed and I need to stop using my speech to get my way. It’s exhausting. Even my individual therapist gave up trying to communicate this with them.
AITA?
Comments
“I don’t want you to get back together. I don’t want to live with either of you, let alone both of you. This regression keeps happening because you only care about yourselves and not the BS you are putting me through. The divorce, the new spouses, your attitudes, none of it is about anything other than you being selfish and only caring about yourselves, how you look, how you feel, you, you, you. If you can’t give me space and time to get on track with things, then it will just wait till I am 18 because y’all suck and the issues isn’t the divorce or new steps, the issue is the way you treat me and make me feel.”
NTA. Explain this to them, then stop talking to them anymore than the bare minimum required.
NTA. You are in a tough situation I hope you can overcome this challenge.
nta. you’re the one living this, and burnout is real—especially with all that pressure around you. therapy isn’t a magic fix, and it’s okay to take breaks when you need them. your parents and steps sound way too controlling, and that just makes everything harder. you gotta do what’s best for your mental health, not what they want.
NTA, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Your parents have failed you. My kiddo has a speech disfluency, it comes and goes. But it’s apparent when he’s upset or really excited. I cannot even fathom treating my child the way your parents are treating you. They are so focused on what they want instead asking what you need. I would only speak to them with absolutely necessary and focus on getting out of their homes. You will likely thrive in a more supportive environment where you aren’t being verbally abused. Focus on your exit plan once you turn 18.
NTA
more stress hinders the fluency of speech even more. I have seen a speech therapist for half a year, but what me helped in the end was getting to know peers with the same interests. I have been in a chorus for several years, the sort of chorus where there are so many people that you (or anyone else) can’t hear or single out your voice. It was magic for me. For maybe the first year i was more pretending to sing, than actually singing. Just breathing with the crowd and moving my lips to the words. I even met someone who had success with single singing lessions, but sinking into the crowd might be something for you as well. It is very energetic and relaxing at the same time. All the best for you.
“Frankly at this stage I wish all four of you would just fuck off. This was never about getting you lot back together, but because you got into your thick fucking skulls it WAS, you have collectively and individually made my life fucking hell. Go screw yourselves with a goddamm cactus.” NTA (Actually dont say that, thinking it might be fun, but it probally would cause problems)
NTA, not your fault, they suck.
Have you ever considered learning sign language? The classes are often free or cheap, it could give you another way to communicate, and potentially either a career or a nice side gig, translating.
I’d term then their choices are no speach therapy, or you will not talk to them at all the next two years