AITA for pushing back on a prenup where my fiancée’s family wants half my assets, even though she has $30M and I have less than $100K?

r/

I (34M) am getting married in two months to my fiancée (31F). She comes from a very wealthy family and has multiple trust funds totaling around $30M. She owns the $11M home we live in outright and earns $500K+/year in passive income (dividends, distributions, etc.). She does not work and doesn’t plan to.

I, on the other hand, work full-time, earn around $200K/year, and have less than $100K in net worth. I don’t own any property or equity outside of a small stake in my startup. In the past, I have covered $5K/month in our shared expenses — things like groceries, meals, and transportation and am open to doing something like this in marriage.

Her family has retained Sullivan & Cromwell, a top law firm, to draft the prenup. They are proposing that, in the event of a divorce, she would be entitled to half of my net worth, even considering:

I would own no equity in the homes, cars, or any large lifestyle assets

I’m coming in with very little and trying to build up from there

They say this is “standard,” but nothing about our situation feels standard. I’ve proposed something I believe is far more fair:

We each keep what we bring into the marriage

Trusts and premarital assets stay separate, including any growth

We contribute to a shared fund (proportional or equal, TBD) for things like food, shared travel (so long as it’s not outrageously expensive), childcare, etc.

No alimony or lump sums if we split, we simply part with what we earned

Possibly a clause where, if I ever reach a certain level of wealth (say, $10M+), she’d be entitled to a capped portion (e.g. 35% of anything above that amount) — though even that is starting to feel unfair

She believes that because she is “funding our lifestyle,” staying home with future children, and providing a standard of living I couldn’t afford on my own, she is owed something back in the event of a divorce. But I won’t own the home. I can’t make financial decisions. I’m not building equity. It feels like I’m living in a world someone else built – and still being asked to pay for it later – like something is owed.

To me, marriage is about building a future together – not feeling like a guest.

AITA for feeling like this prenup is completely one-sided and for pushing for more autonomy and clarity around shared expenses, instead of just accepting what her family thinks is “standard”?

Comments

  1. Vast-Fortune-1583 Avatar

    YTA: If you still marry this woman. Wow.

  2. PatentlyRidiculous Avatar

    Very one sided. Make sure you get a good lawyer

  3. EnvironmentalWord242 Avatar

    Dont sign anything without getting a lawyer first!

  4. Away-Elephant-4323 Avatar

    I mean this not in a mean way but YTA to yourself if you continue through with this marriage, this sounds more like a business arrangement than a marriage about to happen!

  5. BookkeeperNo1888 Avatar

    She gets half your shit (even though she doesn’t need it) and you get none of hers. Seems fair (sarcasm).

    Her family is insisting on this because they don’t want you to marry into the family. They don’t like you and/or they think you’re a poor.

    The only thing I’d agree to in this scenario is a blanket prenup. You walk with your assets and she walks with hers.

  6. NoahVail2024 Avatar

    More like indentured servitude than a marriage. NTA.

  7. Honest_Weird_9715 Avatar

    NTA wtf? What you propose is good. Everybody keeps separated and everybody keeps what they have after divorce. Like I get somebody with that much money wants to protect that stuff in case of a divorce but that prenup is awful.

  8. CRK_76 Avatar

    NTA. She has so much money and wants yours too. She is spoiled, entitled, and an idiot if she thinks this is fair. Run away from this and don’t look back.

  9. Legitimate-Suit-4956 Avatar

    Honestly I knew a couple in this situation (wealthy woman with trust funds, normal guy but with a good pension) and she insisted on an ironclad prenup for HIM. She said in the event of a divorce she had no doubt that she’d get nasty and would have a ton of lawyers at her disposal. She wanted to make sure he’d be leaving in a decent position if things ever ended. Over ten years later, and they’re still happily married today.

    Edit: I’d add that she made a point of making his pension protection iron clad on top of making sure he’d get some money from her (I think the amount depended on how long they stayed married and if they had kids – she of course kept the supermajority of her funds). She was protecting the man she loved while she loved him, to protect him from a potential hurt and angry her in the future. 

    The fact that this is what your financee is pushing for while she loves you is only showing you a fraction of the vitriol you’d get if you got divorced without a prenup. Point being, I would absolutely not marry this person without a prenup you’re comfortable with.  

  10. Silent-Combination29 Avatar

    Find a different woman. You’re no match for this woman and her family. They will eat you alive!

    I like your thoughts a lot more than hers. Your’s are fair. Her’s are not!

  11. Every_Guard Avatar

    What you both need to ask yourselves is “Are you getting married for the wedding, or are you getting married for the marriage?”

    I understand to an extent why a prenup was brought up, but you do have to look out for yourself as well and it needs to be something that is mutual between you two.

    She says she’s the one “funding your guy’s lifestyle”. Is you your guy’s, or Hers? Children will make this all the more complicated and sounds like her parents are quite involved in the decision making.

    Marriage is about trust and teamwork. It should be you and her against the world, not her and her parents against you and the world.

  12. couldbeworse34 Avatar

    You are an idiot if you go through with this, family is looking to screw you if they want.

  13. WhiskyForARealMan Avatar

    Imma be honest, I’m unsure if that would even fly if challenged.

    This is disproportionate and would likely not be enforced.

    EDIT: This is NOT a standard prenup, and as stated would probably not hold up in court(possible, but probably not). Any martial assets may be splittable, but the consensus in divorce is equitable and not equal.

    The pre-nup is disproportionate(it looks like they are taking advantage of you, and it is, and the courts don’t like that), and an equitable divorce would likely get you some concessions where your wife would get none, as a divorce would leave you penniless and her with millions.

  14. Barrettzone Avatar

    Walk away….quickly.

  15. youknowimright25 Avatar

    You make 200k now. So what’s the chance that you will be getting a raise to 10m+ in the next 20 years of work?  Are you in line to own this company that you work for?   

  16. cellar__door_ Avatar

    Info: What are YOU entitled to, in the event of divorce? Does the prenup bar you from seeking alimony? Are you entitled to a division of any of her assets?

    You need a lawyer to help you with this. Your suggestion (keep everything separate) works, but only if you come to agreement where you contribute more money to the household during the marriage. I understand that you probably can’t afford half the mortgage on your salary, but it’s not fair for her to subsidize your lifestyle in a way that allows you to build personal, separate wealth that you otherwise wouldn’t have (e.g. her staying at home with your kids will save you $30,000+/year on daycare). It’s also not fair for her to be entitled to 50% of your worth if you are not entitled to any of her assets or alimony.

  17. EffectiveVast5369 Avatar

    How about she gets 1/2 if you’re the one who files for divorce? Then never be the one to file for divorce.

    What do you get in the event of divorce? Nothing? No that’s not how this works…what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. You get 1/2 of all profits/dividends/gains/income in alimony until you remarry.

    At least it’s only 1/2…my SO’s parents had the attorney write up whatever we came into the marriage with we leave with and anything gained together went to SO. Yeah, I wasn’t signing that!🤣

  18. Decent_Bandicoot122 Avatar

    Spend some of that $100,000 in assets you have and get your own high powered legal representation.

  19. Alarming-Buy9648 Avatar

    I hope you have your own lawyer. Otherwise, you’re being taken for an expensive trip.

  20. KrofftSurvivor Avatar

    Walk away.
    Run.

  21. NoGuarantee3961 Avatar

    Doesn’t sound fair or standard to me. If you make 200k, you can afford a decent lawyer.

    I would do one or more of the following.

    1. no prenup

    2. prenup, whats hers is hers, whats yours is yours, the only shared marital assets are joint accounts/cars, keep finances as separate as possible.

    3. OK, I am building no equity. You can keep your house, use it as a venue, rent it, sell it, whatever. But we are buying a place together, where I can afford my half, so I am able to build equity in something. yeah, it won’t be as big or as nice as where we are living, but that is fine with me.

    4. Let’s just not get married.

    5. Let’s break up.

  22. Spiritual-TarHeel Avatar

    Do not marry this woman. If you decide you still want to marry her, have your attorney draw up your own prenup.

  23. Substantial-Air3395 Avatar

    This should’ve been ironed out months ago. This is incredibly unfair, and I hope you have your own attorney.

  24. RegularEquipment3341 Avatar

    What mine is mine and what yours is mine. NTA for not agreeing to such ridiculous terms. She’s not funding your lifestyle, she funds her own lifestyle.

  25. Trusting_science Avatar

    So don’t sign it. She’s at a much higher risk than you.

  26. LakeGlen4287 Avatar

    Get a law firm of your own. Have them read it and advise you. Have them negotiate key terms with her lawyers.

    If there is to be no negotiation at all, then I guess you have to tell her this is a deal breaker. Entering a marriage so inflexible is a sign she is not going to be a good spouse – it will always be her way (her family’s way) or the highway. Who wants to live like that??

  27. FinePossession1085 Avatar

    You should not get anything that she brings into the marriage.

    You should split any assets that are acquired during the marriage. If she owns the house, of course you don’t get equity in it because she already has that as an asset.

    Alternatively, you don’t get anything she makes during the marriage and she doesn’t get anything you make during the marriage.

    You should request alimony at a low level if you split after so many years of marriage. Any future children should get result in child support.

    Find a good lawyer.

  28. DiscussionAdmirable9 Avatar

    nta. i’d just walk away. logic and common sense don’t seem to live within her or her family.

  29. ProfessorDistinct835 Avatar

    In NY at least prenups aren’t valid unless both parties have representation.

    Your wife to be is nuts as are her parents.

  30. k8tee90 Avatar

    Dude! You’re NTA!

    If your fiance insists this is fair and wants you sign this, make her your ex-fiance.

    What an absolutely absurd pre-nup!

    What you propose is too generous, but certainly more fair.

  31. Worldly_Intern_7251 Avatar

    YouTube James Sexton, hes the prenup guy. Yours, mine, ours. Everything you each have before the marriage is yours. Everything earned together during marriage is split 50/50. That is the easiest and fairest way to go.

  32. barbelsandpugs Avatar

    Run. This sounds like a nightmare and totally not worth it. 100% deal breaker for me. 

  33. theworldisonfire8377 Avatar

    Get a lawyer or walk away. Do not sign that prenup.

  34. hsjwuoq Avatar

    Ur marrying a monster no?

    Do u love her I doubt it

  35. The-Centre-Cant-Hold Avatar

    This cannot be real. If it is you know very well you wouldn’t be the ah here. Say it’s pre martial assets are kept by individual, then half of everything accumulated during marriage to each. Anything else you’re being screwed. I’m staggered you’re still entertaining marriage here.

  36. Flash54321 Avatar

    Why did I not read what your lawyer advised?

  37. fiestafan73 Avatar

    You need to hire an attorney to negotiate this for you. She’s right to want a pre-nup, but that sounds completely one sided where she would come out of a divorce unscathed while you would be ruined. NTA. Updateme

  38. cassowary32 Avatar

    NTA. I wonder if she’s eventually going to be “cut off” from her trust and eventually require you to spend more and more of your income to maintain her lifestyle. Then when she leaves, there’ll be nothing left to split. Do you have your own lawyer? What do they advise?

    I don’t see the advantage of getting married here.

  39. slattyyy Avatar

    Lol, YTA for posting this nonsense

  40. Puzzleheaded_Bet3455 Avatar

    Nta, you’re making 200k+, and you have to ask reddit. You already know you’re falling into the financial trap.

  41. GrandAstronomer2258 Avatar

    I would run if she is trying to get half your worth. You aren’t going after hers. I could maybe understand dividing up growth from the marriage, but since she isn’t working, that’d be hard to come up with something truly fair to both parties. NTA unless you continue and let them take advantage of you.

  42. possibly_lost45 Avatar

    Fuck that dude. Don’t sign it

  43. BlueWolf107 Avatar

    It would be normal if this was a normal scenario, which it is not.

    NTA. Fiancé’s family is crazy.

  44. ConstantSelection605 Avatar

    This gave me a headache!

  45. ProfessionalDot8419 Avatar

    This actually sounds fair. She’s entitled to half of your net worth and you’re entitled to half of hers, right?

  46. climbtheworldd Avatar

    If she feels that’s fair…run away from that entire family.

  47. Fancy-Meaning-8078 Avatar

    Unless she puts in writing she shares all her assets and officially fund your life style.

    Don’t go into a marriage with her.

    She wants to be a trophy wife ,
    You want a partner.

    Those are not the same things.

    This is not working towards a shared goal.

    She is thinking of you as a starter husband and her family wants her to control you by motivating you to work harder to maintain her lifestyle and not be able to leave without hard consequences because they know she is impossible and want someone else to carry her burden from now on.

    This contract is a trap.

    Nobody who loves you will trap you they will have confidence in your loyalty and the relationship.

    Even if she will agree to the changes walk away from the relationship because this behavior is a lacmus test and it turned acid.

    Nta

    For richer or poorer, but you are the only one who will end poor.

    She is straight up saying she is owning you and you just say thank you ma’am can I have another?

    She’s also saying that all she brings into the marriage is a short term loan to make you play the part but when she tires of you you can be discarded and billed for the pleasure of her company.

    A marriage that starts with one sided uneven penalty fee
    Would not last, she planted the seeds of resentment and those will grow and fester in the marriage everytime you hit a roadblock you will need to work as a couple because she can hold it over your head and not put in the work.

  48. Apprehensive_Sun3015 Avatar

    Rrrrrage buh buh baaaaiiiit

  49. psyscope Avatar

    You should agree, if you like her then there won’t be an issue. Your resistance is confirming their fears.

  50. Ok_Stable7501 Avatar

    NTA but don’t marry her. That’s not a prenup, that’s just her family screwing you.

  51. NYCStoryteller Avatar

    NTA. You need to get your own attorney and have them push for a fair prenup that is more along the lines of what you’re suggesting.

    Your fiancee is full of BS. What’s hers is hers and what’s yours is hers, by that logic.

    If you don’t get a stake in her net worth (which once she draws down from her trust fund, should be considered her income, regardless if it’s W2 or dividends) then why should she get a stake in yours? I could understand if it was marital income, but not your business (or any other pre-marital investment).

    Her annual income and your annual income should be considered part of the marital income pool.

    Let’s say all of your earned income and her passive income goes into the income pool. So if she’s earning $500K in passive income and you’re earning $100K in business income, then the household income is $600K, and you should be paying 1/6 of the expenses.

    If at the end of the year, you have $200K in the bank in the joint account, then that’s a marital asset that could be divided in a divorce.

    If you ever get a divorce, then the equitable stake in that account would be that you walk away with $33K and she would walk away with 167K.

  52. Right_Cucumber5775 Avatar

    And the answer is absolutely not. Hard stop. You can say your final and only offer is she takes hers, and you take yours. No entitlement to future earnings, anything. Do not sign that paperwork.

  53. InvisibleBlueRobot Avatar

    Get your own attorney.

    Them using their legal power family to take advantage of you is not the same as them protecting their family. Fuck these people. Hugely disrespectful and unfair. This would be your family.

    Tell your fiance straight up you are feeling absolutely disrespected. Call out their bullshit to their faces and get your own attorney to draft something fair.

    1. Keep assets you bring in

    2. Something fair in case of divorce, based on time spent together and any children.

  54. ComprehensivePut5569 Avatar

    Walk away. She’s not worth signing over your financial future and the imbalance of power is something she and her family will always use against you.

    NTA

  55. Belle-llama Avatar

    Nah, nothing is standard. What I think is fair is that you both get what you came into the marriage with and exit with half the marital assets. 

  56. Ok_Fun9075 Avatar

    Red flag
    RED FLAG
    RED FLAG

  57. FiddleStyxxxx Avatar

    NTA. I understand where she’s coming from though especially since she doesn’t understand what it’s like to build her own wealth. She considers her position in this relationship as working for you. She’s going to have the kids and care for them while you work outside the home.

    I think she sees this as compensation for her labor in the event of a divorce. That view might save your relationship if this post is even real. She doesn’t want to wake up one day and realize she gained nothing financially from years of unpaid labor. You on the other hand will be working for money.

    Obviously this is irrelevant to you because she has passive income, but I wonder if this is her justification.

  58. jeremyism_ab Avatar

    Get your own lawyer, have them draft one that puts you on equal terms, in that sure, she gets half of your assets, but you in turn are entitled to half of hers. It’s standard, don’t you know?

    NTA

  59. obiwanfatnobi Avatar

    Hi its you from the future. Do not marry this woman she will drain you emotionally and financially and when the time comes to leave she will use her vastly larger wealth to bring you to heel.

    “There were no warning signs” lol

  60. ShenDraeg Avatar

    Dude. If she is telling you that she thinks this is fair then you may need to rethink this whole thing. What you proposed is pretty fair, and is closer to anything like a standard for this sort of thing than what these AHs are telling you. She is saying that for no work on her part (beyond the inherited money that she’s bringing in, which is not work), that she deserves half of your assets, and you get none of hers? Seriously? Think hard about what you want out of this, since she’s clearly not seeing a partnership.

  61. Wooden_Vermicelli732 Avatar

    YOR you’re very unlikely to reach 10 mil plus without her help. You’re kicking up a fuss here because you’re not building equity….. in a home you can’t afford to put a downs payment and half the mortgage on? You’re “ willing to put in 5 k a month on expenses “ gee really ? Are you really ok with putting in 1/4 of your income and likely a very small percentage of expenses ? You’re so lame 

  62. JoyReader0 Avatar

    Well, now we know how they got to be so wealthy.

  63. Crafty_Special_7052 Avatar

    Red flag. If she doesn’t not agree to what you want for the prenup then don’t marry her.

  64. Quai_Noi Avatar

    So I had my wife sign a prenuptial. I lost $2M in a previous divorce. It was very strict. We each would leave with what we brought in. But I got rid of it 20 years ago.

    A couple questions. First are you represented by counsel? For it to be valid in most states you need to be. Or it can be challenged later. Second it has to be equitable. The one she’s asking you to sign isn’t. It isn’t standard at all. I could see where it’s just what you brought in. Also no support that’s fair. I’d also want a fidelity clause. Sanctions for a cheater. I also find it hard to believe that she’d ask for half of what you have.

    That final bit makes me think that this is a fake post and that you’re troll farming and rage baiting.

    So in closing I think you’re making it up.

  65. Significant_Ad_1759 Avatar

    This prenup would likely be considered invalid if you aren’t represented by your own attorney. There is a lot more involved in these things than most people realize.

  66. Wild_Black_Hat Avatar

    The thing is, if you don’t even own any property, it’s unfair because you can’t benefit from its increase in value. You should be compensated for that, one way or another. Either you keep all your money to yourself, or you buy a secondary property that belongs only to you, something like that…

    Also, would she agree to downsizing? Then she wouldn’t have to blame you for living a lifestyle you couldn’t otherwise afford.

    If she wouldn’t be willing to downsize, then SHE should entirely fund that lifestyle, NOT blame you for benefiting from it.

  67. Successful_Voice8542 Avatar

    Just because the wedding is scheduled to take place in two months doesn’t mean it should. Hire a lawyer to review the pre-nup and tell your fiance and her family that the wedding is on hold for the time being because you will not get married or sign a pre-nup, “standard” or not, that puts you at a disadvantage. Two people in love starting a life together should be practical because half of all marriages don’t last, but they should also be of the mindset that they each want what is best, or at least fair, to the other. If this pre-nup they are proposing doesn’t feel fair to you, put on the brakes. You can always get married next year, or in five years, when this has been worked out so that both parties feel respected and heard.

  68. Lumpy-Entertainer-75 Avatar

    I wouldn’t marry. I think your offer is fair. NTA

    Isn’t this the time where you are supposed to be your best selves? I would think you’d go through this process treating each other with love, kindness and respect. There is none of that here on her part.

  69. TransportationLazy55 Avatar

    Don’t sign it and don’t get married. I can see wanting the security of a marriage if you are the party with less at the table but in your case the way they are structuring the prenup you now have more too lose with marriage than you have to gain.

    You can still live in the nice house, unmarried, and stay together- but seeing as you have so much less for the duration of the relationship save as much as you can. Maybe at some point the family will consider a more equitable prenup, maybe not
    Dont sign it.
    Don’t sign anything without your own lawyer but that offer is so terrible you can just reject it outright

  70. Remarkable-Key433 Avatar

    She has independent means; she has no need for any of yours.

  71. Fingerlings29 Avatar

    They want half of what you have in case your start up becomes a billion dollar company.

  72. Serious-Wolverine-55 Avatar

    Your plan sounds fair, except do not give her a capped portion (35%) of your net worth. Should be zero.

    If she is “funding your lifestyle”, despite the fact that you are contributing about $5,000 per month, perhaps that lifestyle is too rich at this point. Sell the (probably too expensive) house – she keeps all the house proceeds – and get a house that you both own and each pay for half. If you earn $200K, you are able to contribute half to a very nice house and lifestyle. If she does not want to live at a level – and insists on a lifestyle that is way above what you can pay half for – and then insists that you get nothing in the event of a divorce – RUN

  73. PoisonedSmoke420 Avatar

    Just don’t get married

  74. NEPAmama Avatar

    This requires a lawyer advocating for you and doing some research. It is not standard and is not fair.

    Does your fiancée own the property in her own name, or does a trust own it? How much control does she have over the trusts and assets? What is she spending $500k/year on if she presumably has no debt? In the event of divorce, what would happen to any money/time you invest in the house she owns and you both live in? If you have kids, wouldn’t she want your kids to be able to live in a nice home when they’re in your custody too, or would she be trying to get them full-time and you’d mostly be the absent sperm donor? What if you two end up with shared business/investment interests or you assist with managing investments? You don’t need to answer any of those for us, but you should have the answers before you decide anything.

    More curiosity: what does she do all day, every day? What do you two have in common?

  75. Full_Mission7183 Avatar

    Did her father write Trump’s tax cuts?

  76. ProfBeautyBailey Avatar

    So that is a bogus offer. But the most important thing is you need your own lawyer. Prenups are to protect premarital assets.

  77. Horror_Ad_2748 Avatar

    This doesn’t even make any sense!

  78. Disastrous_Class_561 Avatar

    The family is hoping you will refuse.

  79. SpecialModusOperandi Avatar

    NTA

    Push back. Get a lawyer. It doesn’t seem fair but then they’re rich people.

    She doesn’t need to stay at home – if she does it’s what’s best for the family. She’s not without money if she does since she’s a trust fund baby. She’s is never going to be destitute if you divorced her but you will be with a prenup like that.

  80. Euphoric-Budget-18 Avatar

    please don’t sign without seeing a lawyer and possibly relationship counselor..this doesn’t seem healthy

  81. Zealousideal_Tip_147 Avatar

    This is a massive red flag. If she won’t agree to your terms, rethink this marriage. That prenup she suggested is nuts.

  82. BadKarma667 Avatar

    Please tell me you’ve retained your own counsel, because this is insane. You also need to determine whether this is a hill you want to die on. Frankly, I would, and I suspect I wouldn’t be going through with a wedding.

    NTA.

  83. Remarkable-Key433 Avatar

    The old saw is that he who marries for money earns every cent.

  84. dr_snakeblade Avatar

    Here’s the deal. She wants all the power and is an entitled brat. She brings nothing except all the money and she doesn’t have a clue how to earn it. She’s not looking for an equal partner or she would date wealthy men. Wealthy men would cheat on her and tell her to pound salt. You can bet a wealthy man would never agree to this nonsense in her proposal. So she’s looking for an obedient “earner” who will obey her and the nasty family she comes from. Trying to take something from you is over the top. These are shit people with mental health issues. Flee them. I have lived in this world in a mirror situation. Not a good time, even with the money.

  85. Main_Initiative_5073 Avatar

    You would need to update this every 6/7 years!

  86. Mysterious-Sun5241 Avatar

    NTA. Don’t sign that shit. She don’t need the money shes just being petty or trying to trap you under threat that she’ll take half of what you build which it sounds like wouldn’t even be a significant amount of money for her personally.
    I’m chill with prenups but they should protect both parties. This is a whole lot of protection for her while royally screwing you over.
    Get your own attorney or just draft your own removing the clauses that screw you over. And say that’s what you’re willing to sign and stand on business.

  87. traciw67 Avatar

    Nta. Get a lawyer!

  88. CoolMaintenance4078 Avatar

    She and her family sound greedy as hell, wanting half your paltry (in comparison) assets while you get nothing.

  89. teresajs Avatar

    Is this the same woman who mixes drugs and alcohol?  Don’t marry her.  Seriously.  The relationship won’t last and she’ll take you to the cleaner.

  90. chez2202 Avatar

    NTA.

    Get your own lawyer and present her with a similar proposal. You are working while she earns more than double what you do just from interest and dividends. So you should be entitled to 35% of anything she earns during the same period.

    The staying at home with future children is bullshit because she doesn’t actually work. She just stays at home.

    I honestly don’t understand why you would want to marry someone who has this much money but wants to take your future earnings and current savings on top of that.

  91. 7625607 Avatar

    NTA

    Get a lawyer.

    Tell her you’d be happy living in a house that the two of you buy together and each pay half the mortgage—you are not requiring her to provide a multimillion dollar home for the two of you.

  92. Rare_Magazine_5362 Avatar

    You’re not asking for a handout, you’re asking not to be penalized for a lifestyle you didn’t create and don’t benefit from long-term. Your proposal sounds more fair, transparent, and grounded in reality. If the roles were reversed, no one would even blink at your ask. Marriage shouldn’t feel like signing a one-sided NDA. Hold the line.

  93. Apprehensive_War9612 Avatar

    Dude, first of all you need a lawyer. A good one. And you should absolutely not sign this agreement. Honestly, your fiancé just sounds incredibly entitled and greedy.

    NTA

  94. JuliaLouisDryfoot Avatar

    It sounds like in case of a divorce, she wants to be “reimbursed” for money she put into the marriage.

    What if she initiates the divorce? What if she files for divorce the day after you get married – does she get half of your net worth?

  95. rd295 Avatar

    IANAL. I think a fair prenup would be:

    • your income and assets are yours,
    • her income and assets are hers
    • you maintain separate accounts and titles on property (example: why should she get your car in a divorce if you bought it with your own money? You buy the car with your money, your name goes on the title.)
    • no alimony

    I think that mostly aligns with your ideas, but don’t include any “if I ever reach a certain level of wealth” clause. If you don’t get to keep any of her future earnings, why should she get any of yours?

    Think about this for a bit: If she thinks her proposed arrangement is fair, how do you think the power balance in your relationship is going to go after you are married? Do you think you’ll have an equal say in things going forward? And having children will add disagreements by a factor of 100x.

  96. Intelligent-Jump1823 Avatar

    Why, in the event of any separation, would the party with oodles more assets TAKE anything?

    Don’t sign that.
    Its wrong to have even proposed that.

    Instead, let me marry her.
    I’ll sign it. If we divorce, she can have my 1990 Toyota Corolla, one of the sweaters my grandmother made for me, and $17.85 cash.

  97. wisenkind22 Avatar

    PUSHEM BACK! PUSHEMBACK! WAYYYYBACK! With resources like she has the only equitable prenup is that if the marriage dissolves in a certain number of years, you leave with what you came with, and then an equitable division of acquired marital assets based on who paid for them. KEEP THOSE RECEIPTS AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE BOTH THE PHYSICAL ONES AND A FILE OF CLOUD DOCUMENTED ONES!

  98. beatnik_pig Avatar

    This marriage is over before it’s begun. I guess when youre as wealthy as she is, every aspect of life becomes a business transaction.

    When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail? 🤷

  99. Overall-Pickle-7905 Avatar

    Is that 1/2 of marital assets – meaning what you earn together once you are married? That’s standard language. If you’re saying half of everything you own, that doesn’t sound right. Again, as the top post says, have a lawyer look at it first.

  100. Putrid_Criticism9278 Avatar

    this sounds ridiculous. she owns an $11M house outright and has other assets of $30M? she will never spend that much money.
    what would she possibly need from the 100 K you’re bringing in to this.
    there’s no way in hell I would even consider this.

    keeping what you each came in with and earn seems reasonable to me.

  101. Toukolou21 Avatar

    OP, not sure where you live, but where I live the matrimonial home isn’t exempt from division in case of divorce. Even if it was owned outright by one spouse prior to marriage.

    And I 2nd what others have said, get your own lawyer.

  102. Glittering_Living607 Avatar

    Oh my goodness. Neither you nor she sound ready for a MARRIAGE. As in commitment. But counting pennies is the priority now? You are both making plans for eventual splitting, and money sounds like it is the driving force of your relationship. And, in what world does a grown woman have to comply with her parent’s plans for her finances?! Fifty year marriage talking here.

  103. FrannyFray Avatar

    Talk to your own lawyer. Do not sign anything.

  104. Its_a_mad_world_ Avatar

    That’s her trying to straight up control you by having a way to punish you. There’s no reason to not sign a pre nup stating yours is yours and hers is hers. NTA

  105. rayrayheyhey Avatar

    I mean if this isn’t made up, I don’t know what is.

  106. ADHDreamer_ Avatar

    If there are all these stipulations, what’s the point of your marriage? Why not just stay cohabitating and enjoy your lives together. This doesn’t seem in any way benefit to you. She has much more than she needs and it’s OK to protect that but to make sure that you walk away with pretty much nothing is a character flaw.

  107. jdimpson Avatar

    You’re NTA.

    I could easily understand them wanting a prenup that essentially says “leave the relationship with what you brought into it” but the conditions they are adding, as well as your fiances reasons for wanting them, sound very much like she (or her family) has a very adversarial view of relationships.

    I would run from this relationship, unless you feel living a life like this is worth constant reminding of that every interaction is being assessed a monetary value

  108. bidoskee Avatar

    Prenup or not… Is this the kind of people you want to settle with, Knowing fully well that what lies ahead.. Think twice please.

  109. Nervous-History8631 Avatar

    Yeah that is a completely one sided and unreasonable prenup. What you describe is a lot more reasonable, now I am not saying you should sign it but you are lucky that in a lot of juristictions it would likely be thrown out as unequitable and you would get half her wealth… but I wouldn’t bank on that either or marry someone with such crazy views.

  110. MikeReddit74 Avatar

    You’d only be an asshole if you marry her.

  111. LetterheadNo9946 Avatar

    😬 they sound very shrewd. did they make their money with honest methods I get it unfortunately people who have this much money are suspicious of everybody else’s intentions. Just glad that we don’t have to live like that. We can be ourselves and know that people love us for us. Another wallet.

  112. dekage55 Avatar

    STOP TRYING TO NEGOTIATE YOURSELF! Hire an Attorney!

    Besides needing an impartial Advocate, without your own, separate Attorney, the pre-nup may not hold up in Court.

    Of course, that might actually benefit you, if a Judge throws it out & you revert to jurisdictional norms.

  113. lord-beerus-90 Avatar

    Lol what kind of drugs were you taking when you came up this fake story 😂🤣😅

  114. OllieOllieOxenfry Avatar

    My friend just married a guy who started a successful company so they got a pre-nup. Her lawyer said she can tell by the pre-nup how much the other party likes or respects their partner. It sounds like your partner is very selfish and entitled. Women can and should be entitled to half if they have been stay at home moms in the case they have no other financial recourse or way to protect themselves. Given that she will ALWAYS be financially set for life, why would she want to also take more from you? It jsut seems so selfish.

  115. Riker_Omega_Three Avatar

    Make it clear, you will not sign any prenup that is not amicably 50/50

    You are being tested

    Her family thinks you are a gold digger

  116. Good_Narwhal_420 Avatar

    nope. NTA. they either change that or you don’t marry her. you will be fucking screwed. get a lawyer

  117. therealsatansweasel Avatar

    What she said is enough for me to put her in the “Good time, not a long time” category.

    She’s accustomed to certain things and sounds like she is considering this marriage like a business deal.

    Not a romantic caring relationship.

    Call off the wedding.

  118. Blockhead86 Avatar

    You’re getting ready to get a metaphorical hand up your ass and they’re going to make the puppet dance!