Hi Reddit!
I recently got married, and we hired a photographer who, at first, was overly sweet and doting on me and my husband, constantly telling us how kind and respectful we were. Everything seemed great at the start.
Right after the wedding, while we were just a couple of days into our honeymoon, she reached out saying there had been a “misunderstanding” with the price. We initially thought it was $5,000, but she said it was actually $5,500. She wanted that additional $500 payment immediately. We paid it because we didn’t want issues, but it struck us as odd that she could demand payment right away, yet had no problem dragging her feet on her own contractual obligations.
Timeline:
• we got married on May 16- On July 11th, she texted us saying we’d get our edited photos back within two weeks (our contract said no later than 10 weeks).
• Two weeks came and went, nothing. I followed up more than a month later. She pushed the date back. Then pushed it back again. Eventually, she admitted she had been gone on a month-long vacation, which wasn’t disclosed beforehand.
• Every time I asked for an update, she gave a new excuse.
Finally, after months of this, I texted her expressing my frustration. She called me, and the conversation went south quickly:
• When I pointed out that she posts same day edits for influencers and clients online, she cut me off and said, “That’s my business, and it’s inappropriate for you to bring that up.”
• I explained, respectfully, that as an attorney, I know what a contract is and the issue isn’t “appropriateness,” it’s that she wasn’t honoring the terms we agreed on.
• She was dismissive, condescending, and basically gaslit everything I said. When I mentioned that other photographers meet their deadlines, she got very offended and acted like I was insulting her skills.
• Eventually, she started making personal digs at me and my husband. I told her, “You’re making me extremely uncomfortable. I wish you nothing but success, but this conversation is over.” Then I hung up.
Here’s the kicker:
• Immediately after, she blocked both me and my husband on all social media accounts.
• But somehow, that same night, at 3 AM, she magically delivered all of our edited photos. Meaning after claiming she was “too busy” for 17 weeks, she finished them in about 5 hours once confronted.
I’m still floored. I don’t want to blast her publicly because our community is very small, and I don’t want drama following me or my husband. But I can’t shake how unprofessional, dismissive, and borderline hostile she was.
So AITA for putting my foot down and telling her it wasn’t right to keep delaying, that it reflected poorly on her business, and that her behavior made us uncomfortable?
EDIT: re the extra $500 – the contract did say $5,500 and the misunderstanding was on our end! But i totally see the confusion. Still found it really unprofessional to demand it knowing damn well you can’t deliver on a specified timeframe🤷♀️
Comments
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Hi Reddit!
I recently got married, and we hired a photographer who, at first, was overly sweet and doting on me and my husband, constantly telling us how kind and respectful we were. Everything seemed great at the start.
Right after the wedding, while we were just a couple of days into our honeymoon, she reached out saying there had been a “misunderstanding” with the price. We initially thought it was $5,000, but she said it was actually $5,500. She wanted that additional $500 payment immediately. We paid it because we didn’t want issues, but it struck us as odd that she could demand payment right away, yet had no problem dragging her feet on her own contractual obligations.
Timeline:
• we got married on May 16- On July 11th, she texted us saying we’d get our edited photos back within two weeks (our contract said no later than 10 weeks).
• Two weeks came and went, nothing. I followed up more than a month later. She pushed the date back. Then pushed it back again. Eventually, she admitted she had been gone on a month-long vacation, which wasn’t disclosed beforehand.
• Every time I asked for an update, she gave a new excuse.
Finally, after months of this, I texted her expressing my frustration. She called me, and the conversation went south quickly:
Here’s the kicker:
• Immediately after, she blocked both me and my husband on all social media accounts.
• But somehow, that same night, at 3 AM, she magically delivered all of our edited photos. Meaning after claiming she was “too busy” for 17 weeks, she finished them in about 5 hours once confronted.
I’m still floored. I don’t want to blast her publicly because our community is very small, and I don’t want drama following me or my husband. But I can’t shake how unprofessional, dismissive, and borderline hostile she was.
So AITA for putting my foot down and telling her it wasn’t right to keep delaying, that it reflected poorly on her business, and that her behavior made us uncomfortable?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told her she’s behind on our deadlines but priorities other people, that she makes me uncomfortable and don’t like the way she approached the conversation and she then blocked me and my husband and family members
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nope, nta.
She was unprofessional: rude, dismissive, hostile and inappropriate. You handled yourself admirably.
NTa there are plenty of places to put an honest review. Including on wedding platforms and your own social media.
NTA. Hopefully you’ve received everything you paid for and can move on. You signed a contract when you hired her, it seems the financials would have been documented there so the additional $500 could easily have been disputed. But I know you wanted the pictures and the edits and so were willing to pay the extra. So, assuming you have everything, you should write honest reviews so the next couple has the information they need to make an informed choice on whether or not to hire her. She may be a great photographer and photo editor, which you can honestly review on, but her business practices, communication and adhering to the contracted deadline were severely lacking.
NTA, but why not just stick to the contract? As an attorney, you should know better. Did you not sign a contract for $5,000 with delivery of an edited gallery in X weeks?
Seems from these kind of issues I keep seeing on here that a big chunk of payment should be withheld till delivery! There are some unethical people out there.
If she said 10 weeks for all photos and it tooks months, I’d blast her so hard.
NTA
You did not put your foot down, you let her gaslight you until that very last conversation.
I’d name and shame on social media. Warn others so they don’t get subjected to the same issues.
NTA why did you pay her before she finished the job? There’s no incentive to finish the job once she gets paid.
NTA- As a wedding photographer- put her on blast. Leave reviews on Google and Instagram and make public posts about it. So many people in our line of work treat clients this way and it pisses me off to no end. 10 weeks is already more than enough time, to blow past that has zero excuse.
NTA
You are aware of what is required for a contract to be valid.
You weren’t negative or unreasonable towards her at any point.
She didn’t abide by the terms of the contract.
She is completely in the wrong.
100% NTA. Contract is a contract. Allowances for stuff, but the extra payment and the extra time are beyond the contract obligations and beyond what is reasonable.
As for not speaking publicly – I know couples getting married would use your feedback wisely (and pick someone else). That’s on her, not you. Any backlash you feel would likely be very temporary – if any. A simple, honest review on The Knot etc would be kind to fellow couples and to the photographer. She needs to see the feedback and feel the implications.
100% NTA. Contract is a contract. Allowances for stuff, but the extra payment and the extra time are beyond the contract obligations and beyond what is reasonable.
As for not speaking publicly – I know couples getting married would use your feedback wisely (and pick someone else). That’s on her, not you. Any backlash you feel would likely be very temporary – if any. A simple, honest review on The Knot etc would be kind to fellow couples and to the photographer. She needs to see the feedback and feel the implications.
So she put the squeeze on you for an additional invented $500, then dragged out completion way too long. Please warn others by posting one or more honest reviews. Including any good things about her work! That will make your review more fair, as well as more credible.
NTA, she was unprofessional, but I do agree with her that bringing up the ‘influencers’ was inappropriate. You’re always going to have some photos that are great straight out of camera and ready to post, and 1000 others in the same gallery that require much more work. You have no idea how long anyone else was actually waiting for their full sets to be delivered.
But also why did you immediately cave to an additional $500 that wasn’t in your contract?
idk I would probably just let this one go, you’ve got the photos and i’m guessing don’t hate them since you didn’t mention it. long lead times for wedding photography isn’t unusual and it sounds like she quoted you a turnaround she thought she could make work and then panicked when she realized it wouldn’t. that isn’t your fault but this is a common theme with photographers
INFO: Can you expand on the “because our community is very small” part? I don’t quite understand
NTA be glad you actually got the photos!
If you want to leave a review, just stick to the facts “there was a surprise 10% additional charge after the event that was not disclosed in any contracts, and it took much longer to receive our photos than we were promised.”
Of course NTA. There is no further course of action unless you want to be spiteful. You have your photos and she blocked you. You can move on… or not 🙂
If you a lawyer, why did you get bamboozled out of $500 extra? You should know what a contract means more than most.
NTA for now but please do shame her publicly to warn others. If you didn’t do it, you’d be TA for the poor next couples booking her for a wedding!
Time to go to court.
NTA, blast her everywhere. People should know what they are getting into
What rhymes with ham, jam and spam? Scam
NTA put this woman on blast so others in your small community won’t be scammed the same way. And always go by written contracts for stuff like this!
NTA.
I had a very similar experience, right down to the month-long vacation.
Put her on blast so others do not have to experience her unprofessionalism.
So, she broke her own contract. She quoted 10 weeks, they should be done in 10 weeks. Have you gotten your photos as promised?
My Bf is a photographer. He has a full other job, and takes thousands of photos that he has to edit every week. He has never made a couple wait longer than 2 weeks for their photos. He does beautiful, detailed edits, too, so it’s not like he just throws them out there. I don’t understand these photographers taking MONTHS.
NTA.
NTA
You should detail this is a review to warn others.
“Don’t want to blast her publicly”. Why not? She was 7 weeks late beyond the “max time” and fought with you on more payment and delivery. Blast her so others don’t end up the same.
>EDIT: re the extra $500 – the contract did say $5,500 and the misunderstanding was on our end! But i totally see the confusion. Still found it really unprofessional to demand it knowing damn well you can’t deliver on a specified timeframe
Given this context, YTA I’m afraid.
YTA for not naming and shaming.