So, I (F20) started nannying for a family a few months years ago. It’s been an amazing opportunity, as the pay is good, I need money, and I am amazing with kids.
I noticed straight away that the kid (3yo) has bad food habits. She would constantly ask to eat snacks (chips, flips, gold fish crackers, chocolates, lollipops etc.)before meals and would start crying if refused. Her mom told me that, yes, that is normal and to let her eat whatever, but to try and get her to eat some food too.
I decided to just not let her have any snacks before breakfast, lunch, and dinner (I told her mom I would try that, and she told me go ahead). After she eats meals, she can get any snack she wants. And that has been going really good. At the beginning, she would scream when I didn’t let her have any junk before meals (not cry tho, more like pretend cry), but soon she gave up and made her peace with it. She started eating really good which was not the case in the beginning (for example, now she eats two hard boiled eggs, sausage and a glass of milk for breakfast with a little bit of bread, and before it would be a win to get her to eat atleast one egg – because she would fill up with snacks). Obviosly, she stopped eating snacks as much, because she would fill up with food, even tho I offer them constantly after meals.
Recently, my sister (F25) bought her chocolate, and this was just before lunch. She went to open it for her, but I told her no snacks before lunch, and she can open it for her later. My mom was there too, and told me that I can’t put her on a diet as I am not her mother. She told me it was an asshole move to control someone elses child like that. I told her that I would rather be an asshole and have her full and healthy, rather to have her destroy her tummy and eating habits that young. Mom said that it is not my place to do that, and if her mom let her have snacks whenever, than I should too.
Obviously I know that my intentions are good, and I am glad she is being healthier, but mom saying that I put her on a diet made me think that that was AH move. AITA?
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So, I (F20) started nannying for a family a few months years ago. It’s been an amazing opportunity, as the pay is good, I need money, and I am amazing with kids.
I noticed straight away that the kid (3yo) has bad food habits. She would constantly ask to eat snacks (chips, flips, gold fish crackers, chocolates, lollipops etc.)before meals and would start crying if refused. Her mom told me that, yes, that is normal and to let her eat whatever, but to try and get her to eat some food too.
I decided to just not let her have any snacks before breakfast, lunch, and dinner (I told her mom I would try that, and she told me go ahead). After she eats meals, she can get any snack she wants. And that has been going really good. At the beginning, she would scream when I didn’t let her have any junk before meals (not cry tho, more like pretend cry), but soon she gave up and made her peace with it. She started eating really good which was not the case in the beginning (for example, now she eats two hard boiled eggs, sausage and a glass of milk for breakfast with a little bit of bread, and before it would be a win to get her to eat atleast one egg – because she would fill up with snacks). Obviosly, she stopped eating snacks as much, because she would fill up with food, even tho I offer them constantly after meals.
Recently, my sister (F25) bought her chocolate, and this was just before lunch. She went to open it for her, but I told her no snacks before lunch, and she can open it for her later. My mom was there too, and told me that I can’t put her on a diet as I am not her mother. She told me it was an asshole move to control someone elses child like that. I told her that I would rather be an asshole and have her full and healthy, rather to have her destroy her tummy and eating habits that young. Mom said that it is not my place to do that, and if her mom let her have snacks whenever, than I should too.
Obviously I know that my intentions are good, and I am glad she is being healthier, but mom saying that I put her on a diet made me think that that was AH move. AITA?
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> I started nannying a few months ago for one family. The kid constantly ate snacks and almost no real food.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I think if you’ve cleared your idea with the parents before implementation then there’s no problem here.
NTA.
NTA. It is not really putting her on a diet – it is helping her to get used to eating nutritious food during meals.
NTA all the way. Honestly, you’re just teaching the kid healthy eating habits rather than just mindlessly snacking. Obviously, snacks are cool, but there’s a time and place after meals so they won’t ruin their appetite. Sounds like you’re doing great and setting a good example. Keep it up. 👍👍 Just my 2cents.
The mom already said go ahead so it’s fine.
NTA – For one, you were given the ok by her mom. And two, building healthy eating habits isn’t putting her on a diet.
NTA. You talked to the kids mom. The mom gave you permission. Your mom and sister have a weird view of food. Youre not putting her on a diet. Youre helping create healthy food habits. That’s that.
YTA.
You’re a nanny.
That means, for one, you have no expertise in nutrition or dieting, and have no place to be saying anything. Become a MD or a registered dietician if you want to tell people how to eat.
Secondly, you have no right to tell someone else’s child how to eat. It’s ultimately up to the parents. There are situations where the parents aren’t responsible enough and there needs to be action taking, but, even then, those actions are taken by actual professionals (doctors, social workers), not arrogant nannies.
NTA. You’re not putting her on a diet, she can still have chocolate just after dinner. That’s good meal habits
The mom is on board, so NTA.
NTA. The child’s mother is okay with you’re doing and that should be the end of it.
And denying someone snacks is not “putting them on a diet.”
In fact I’d think you were overfeeding; two hard boiled eggs for breakfast sounds like a lot for a 3 years, esp with sausage, bread, and milk.
NTA
The mother is ok with it, the child made peace with it so you need, for this child’s sake, to stay on the same path.
Your sister and mother need to shut their mouth since they are not in charge of this child.
Stay firm!
NTA. You got the mom’s permission. Did you tell your mom that?
Why is your mom and sister coming over to your job? They have no business there. Also, you got approval from your employer and your family is sticking their nose in where it doesn’t belong. They need to mind their own business.
NTA. “My mom was there too, and told me that I can’t put her on a diet as I am not her mother. She told me it was an asshole move to control someone else’s child like that. I”
But your sister is offering candy to someone else’s 3 year old, and your sister isn’t the hired nanny.
NTA. You’ve cleared your approach with the parents. Your mom isn’t a parent of the kid either. You’re fine.
NTA. You talked with the mom and she agreed.
I do have a little quarrel with calling a rule of “no snacks before meals” a diet rather than a common sense limitation. It’s not a diet. It is a house rule most parents with a lick of common sense do implement.
NTA. The mother, your employer, said you could do it. Your family’s opinion is entirely irrelevant.
NTA. Your mum’s wrong. Healthy food before a snack isn’t a diet – it’s a healthy eating habit. Choosing healthy snacks is even better! You already spoke to the kid’s mother & it sounds like you’re doing a great job.
NTA. You cleared your plan with the kid’s parents. This is your job BTW. You’re old enough to run it the way you want. Your mom and older sister should respect that you’re an adult now too.
NTA
The parents trusted you to look after her and feed her. They gave you the OK to change her habits.
You’re not denying the child snacks or treats, just changing the timeline and dynamic of earning the privilege.
Your mom and sister are highly unsupportive.
INFO: Does your NM know that this is your method? Has she been pleased with the results? Has she adopted the same thing?
(To be clear, your mom is TA for claiming that moving snacks to after meals is “a diet,” but to know who else is or isn’t clowning I need the questions answered.)
NTA you’re not putting the kid on the diet, she still gets a snack/treat after dinner, she’s just learning how meals usually work.
You had the parents consent, yes? That’s all that matters.
NTA. Are your mother and sister getting paid to care for this child? Why do they think they have more of a say than you in the child’s eating habits? If the mother says reducing snack foods and increasing meal foods is a good goal to work towards, then your judgment is sound and you are providing care in line with what the mother wants. You shouldn’t ALSO have to babysit your own family to ensure they are behaving appropriately and respecting your boundaries at work.
NTA. You haven’t put her on a diet because you aren’t restricting what she can eat. You are helping her to develop healthier eating habits, and you have her mother’s blessing to do so. You were not underhanded or sneaky and you talked to the mom before changing any dietary habits. Your mom is TA – she is the one trying to undermine the agreement you have with your employer.
Don’t let your mom tell you how to do your job. You weren’t seeking her advice.
NTA.
Nta. You are working for your boss. Your mom and sister have no say about anything in regards to the child.
No, you haven’t put her on a diet, at all. What you have done is create some healthy patterns around food by prioritizing real food over junk, which is something the parents and previous nannies should have implemented from the first. The habits she was allowed/encouraged to build before this were a fast track to major physical and mental health issues. Her body is growing and developing – she desperately needs sound nutrition and a good relationship with eating and real food, none of which she had before you did this. I say give yourself a double pat on the back for sound instincts, good plan and excellent execution. Nice job.
NTA. You got permission from your employer to teach different eating habits and your methods are working.
Ignore your mom & sister.
NTA—the child’s mother said “go ahead.” No snacking before meals used to be just basic kid management, but people are so afraid to frustrate their kids or deal with meltdowns that kids learn they can get what they want by acting out.
If you were my nanny, I would fire you.
When you get a job caring for someone’s children, you follow the guidelines they set for the child. You’re not the parent. If you don’t like the way they do things, find another family to work for.
YTA.
Reframe the conversation, because thats not a “diet” its structure.
NTA It isn’t a diet you are just not letting her snack before having real meals
That’s not a diet.
Anyway, because you got the parents consent to change her eating schedule, you are solidly NTA.
The child’s mom is ok with it so NTA.
And it doesn’t sound like you are restricting the child’s eating, just making the child eat healthier food first, instead of filling up on snacks first.
is anyone else confused by this?
Why was your mother and your sister at the house of the person you’re nannying for?
NTA If you were putting the kid on a “diet” that restricts their calorie intake for the purposes of losing weight, that would be problematic. What you are doing is exactly what a caregiver should do, and it’s the plan agreed on with the parents.
NTA.
I am a mom. This is how I feed my kid. Sometimes he will get a snack before a meal, but it’s pretty rare. I tell him he needs “real” food before he can have snacks. But after he eats a good meal he can have literally all the snacks he could want lol.
You’re creating healthy eating habits. You’re not putting a kid on a diet by making them eat substantial food before giving them treats and snacks. Your mom must not like to tell kids no… and that’s never been great for them in my experience.
Nope you are right Your Mom and Sis are wrong!! Why are they bringing snacks for someone else’s child? That’s the AH move!!
The child’s mom already gave you the go-ahead to do this. Your mom is overstepping by questioning what you and the child’s mother have agreed to.
Real talk, if your family is going to criticize what’s happening at the house, you should stop letting them come over. The last thing you need is for them to say something that the child (or nanny cams?) overhear and get you in trouble.
NTA.
NTA. it’s not your sister/mom place to destroy the good habits of a child neither. And they are not their mother neither…
And not allowing crap before meal is not ‘put them on a diet’, it’s just ‘basic parenting’
i would be curious to know where do you live for having all people around thinking that giving crap to a baby before meal is normal Oo