This happened at my weekend serving job that I got to help pay off some debt.
A couple (late 20s?) came into our sit down Asian restaurant. I got them drinks and started to take their appetizer order. The guy asked me for a piece of paper and a pen. No big deal, I just gave him one of my order sheets and a spare pen.
When I was walking around and working on my other tables I heard him say something along the lines of: “Well yeah, I have to write down everything she does wrong, so I can tip right.” The girl said something a little contrarian, which made me think this was one of their first dates and she was probably surprised by this.
Later when I was coming to refill their drinks he said, “Oh you’re back. I was wondering.” Before I reached for their drinks I noticed the paper sitting on the table and asked what it was. It had little bulletin point notations on it. This asshole said directly to my face, “Oh this is your tip calculations.” He was showboating to his date and I was looking at another table. He continued on this tirade for several minutes. ‘hey you’re not even paying attention’ ‘you should check in on your guests more’ ‘ you don’t even look like you’re having a good time’.
All I said was: “Oh, wow. That’s incredibly rude and demining. I won’t be serving you.” I didn’t need his $10 that damn bad. The guy look completely dumbstruck and the woman seemed embarrassed. The man asked what I was talking about and was starting to get irate. I just called over our manager, who is very nice. I explained the table was making me uncomfortable and I wouldn’t be serving them.
Then, I went back into the kitchen to continue waiting on my other tables. My manager talked to me in the kitchen when she was done with the table, she was considerate but kept asking why I wouldn’t serve them. I just kept saying the man was very rude to me and made me uncomfortable. There’s a small language barrier between us and I didn’t want to waste time during the lunch rush to try and give her a detailed explanation.
When I went back out I saw the woman berating the guy. She ended up walking out a little while later and the guy followed without paying. We could hear him screaming in the parking lot. They had only gotten a couple of eggrolls and soda at that point. I think they were just embarrassed because like 15 tables full of people were staring at them by the end of it. A couple of my other tables asked about it, I explained and they felt bad so they tipped me a little more which was nice but I wasn’t that bothered.
I explained the whole situation to my boss the next day, how I felt degraded and at the end of the day it wasn’t much of an issue. She’s been keeping an eye on my since then. A few other servers just can’t understand why I would “miss out on money” like that, and that as a server I should have just served them. No. I am not a performer. I live in a state where server wage is $2.13 an hour, they better be happy I showed up at all.
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This happened at my weekend serving job that I got to help pay off some debt.
A couple (late 20s?) came into our sit down Asian restaurant. I got them drinks and started to take their appetizer order. The guy asked me for a piece of paper and a pen. No big deal, I just gave him one of my order sheets and a spare pen.
When I was walking around and working on my other tables I heard him say something along the lines of: “Well yeah, I have to write down everything she does wrong, so I can tip right.” The girl said something a little contrarian, which made me think this was one of their first dates and she was probably surprised by this.
Later when I was coming to refill their drinks he said, “Oh you’re back. I was wondering.” Before I reached for their drinks I noticed the paper sitting on the table and asked what it was. It had little bulletin point notations on it. This asshole said directly to my face, “Oh this is your tip calculations.” He was showboating to his date and I was looking at another table. He continued on this tirade for several minutes. ‘hey you’re not even paying attention’ ‘you should check in on your guests more’ ‘ you don’t even look like you’re having a good time’.
All I said was: “Oh, wow. That’s incredibly rude and demining. I won’t be serving you.” I didn’t need his $10 that damn bad. The guy look completely dumbstruck and the woman seemed embarrassed. The man asked what I was talking about and was starting to get irate. I just called over our manager, who is very nice. I explained the table was making me uncomfortable and I wouldn’t be serving them.
Then, I went back into the kitchen to continue waiting on my other tables. My manager talked to me in the kitchen when she was done with the table, she was considerate but kept asking why I wouldn’t serve them. I just kept saying the man was very rude to me and made me uncomfortable. There’s a small language barrier between us and I didn’t want to waste time during the lunch rush to try and give her a detailed explanation.
When I went back out I saw the woman berating the guy. She ended up walking out a little while later and the guy followed without paying. We could hear him screaming in the parking lot. They had only gotten a couple of eggrolls and soda at that point. I think they were just embarrassed because like 15 tables full of people were staring at them by the end of it. A couple of my other tables asked about it, I explained and they felt bad so they tipped me a little more which was nice but I wasn’t that bothered.
I explained the whole situation to my boss the next day, how I felt degraded and at the end of the day it wasn’t much of an issue. She’s been keeping an eye on my since then. A few other servers just can’t understand why I would “miss out on money” like that, and that as a server I should have just served them. No. I am not a performer. I live in a state where server wage is $2.13 an hour, they better be happy I showed up at all.
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> The action that I thought might make the asshole is calling over my manager to handle the table and how the result of that action ended up in a blowup at the restaurant.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA – being a customer doesn’t give a person the right to be an asshole
NTA, he sounds like some Andrew Tate loving creep.
Edit: I should add that you definitely could’ve handled the interaction with your boss better and should have given them a more precise answer when they asked what was going on but you’re still not the ahole here, clearly.
NTA, bartender here, I will not serve anyone who is openly rude to me.
NTA.
We need a lot more of this energy in “customer service.”
That guy learned a lesson in humility and his date learned that he is a jerk. You’re out here saving lives. ❤️
NTA. Good job standing up for yourself.
NTA…You shouldn’t have to serve someone under those conditions. A good manager should gladly take over and decide whether these customers are welcome in the restaurant at all, or not.
NTA – The whole “the customer is always right” bullshit ruined things for people in service positions.
NTA. Former server here. Good on you for standing up for yourself!
Is this the new version of “5 Singles on the Table”?
NTA
I am sorry, how much do you make??? I made $2.85 when I was sixteen – I am now in my 50’s.
The base rate in my province is above $17 (minimum wage), plus tips which make this a living wage.
If this is United States, why are you ok with this? How do you not take care of each other and allow this. My god, no wonder the rest of the world look at you and shake their head. NO ONE wants to join you, especially when you allow such a paltry wage for service work. Make a stand people, don’t let your government do this.
NTA
Ive worked in food for a long time now foh and boh.
Some people (your coworkers) dont get that mutual respect from customers goes a lot further than money ever will. Those rude moments, those nightmare customers stay with you for YEARS. They might think you threw away money, but what you really did was maintain your self respect. A commodity that cannot be bartered for or sold. You said fuck this guy, for treating you like ‘the help’ for no reason. And he got his just desserts for it.
He will never do that again, as evidenced by the huge blow up he experienced because of it. You cannot allow people like that to be shitty without consequence. Whether they get another server or they get into a huge screaming match in the parking lot. You did a good thing for the dozens of other wait staff this guys made to feel like a monkey in a circus, and for the endless number of servers who will not be dealing with that bullshit from him again.
I had a really really bad job a couple of years back and one of my coworkers gave me the best throw away advice i could ask for. “Dont let them take your peace”.
Dont let anyone do that.