I 34M have a 16 year old teenage stepdaughter that’s become unbearable ever since she got TikTok. She wants Chick-fil-A three times a week, boba every other day,those “aesthetic” overpriced shirts and pants and it’s all pretty expensive. She says things like “well my friends dad buys her everything she wants.”
Yesterday she had a meltdown in the parking lot because I wouldn’t buy her a $50 stanley tumbler, saying that instead i’d buy her a $10 tumbler. I told her I dont have unlimited money and if she wants to keep chasing trends, she’s going to need to find a job and start paying for her own nonsense.
Now my wife and her are upset at me, but i told my wife I can’t let her treat me like an ATM, i get buying her things here and there, but it’s out of control.
AITA?
Comments
Nta. She should go get a job if she wants money to throw around, you did the right thing
Absolutely Nta. But is your wife encouraging her?
NTA, she’s 16 and old enough to learn money doesn’t grow on trees,if she wants $300 shoes and daily boba, she can get a job like the rest of us did at her age.
NTA
Does she have an allowance or budget? Have you taught her any money management?
NTA.
INFO: Does the Wife work? If so she can pay from her own money instead of using you like an ATM like your entitled daughter who REALLY needs to get a job. Any job. After the first paycheck she’ll finally see the light and chill on the Chick-fil-A, Boba, Aesthetic clothing and $50 Stanley cup.
NTA but you’re still screwed.
If her mother won’t teach her about money then you have no chance. Start making financial barriers between you and the both of them. Your stepdaughter will drain your balance account for the next 10 years.
Chick-fil-A and boba tea places are both pretty good about hiring 16 year olds. Does stepdaughter have reliable transportation to get her to and from work and school? Are there jobs within safe walking or bike riding distance even after dark? Friday and Saturday night fast food and restaurant shifts usually end between 11pm and 2am. Safety is a concern. Can stepdaughter use a family car to get or take Uber to and from work? Reliable transportation is essential for getting hired and keeping a job, even as a part time teen. Target and Walmart also hire 16-year-olds. Does OP leave near a stadium or ball park? Concessions is another possible part time job option.
NTA
NTA even a little bit. Spoiling a child, and raising a spoiled child are two COMPLETELY different things. And they become very different people.
NTA… is the wife like this?
Just say”No.”
NTA. Assuming the child is hers that’s her problem. Let her buy stuff for HER child
NTA. Don’t let social media (or maybe mom) ruin her. Let her figure out how people acquire things and how much they cost you (time and money). Simple formula: (x) time = (x) money = (x) thing.
NTA. A sixteen-year-old should not be having a meltdown because someone said the word no to her.
You should get her a job application to Chick Fil A, if she wants to eat there three times a week, at least she’ll get a discount (and she’ll have Sundays off).
NTA even a little. Kids are growing up so spoiled and it’s not good for when they are adults. My parents never spoiled me like that, they wouldn’t have even entertained the idea of a $50 cup, especially for a child. Tell her to get a job if she wants to buy stupid crap, that’s really the only thing you can do. You could also make her work for those stupid things, she wants boba, make her do an hour of chores first, something really unpleasant that you hate doing.
NTA. Instead of making that statement get a job and yes she needs one. Trying educating her about finances. Explain with examples and show her how you have to budget money. Kids today don’t understand where money comes from and don’t have a clue how much it’s cost to live. Sit her down and explain it to her and tell her that by getting a job she can put half in saving and keep have to spend but when it’s gone it’s gone.
NTA.. and I hope your wife doesn’t give in to the manipulation your daughter is trying to play at.
NTA but it sounds like you have both a wife and daughter problem. She’s at the age where it’s not weird that she’s being demanding, but it’s also when she should be developing a work ethic and learning how to manage money. Y W B T A if you allow her development to get stunted by giving in and setting her up for failure later in life
You do not need to ask, NTA. That girl sounds delightful, you best get used to her because she is never getting a husband.
NTA. don’t encourage her spoiled behavior. if she’s having a melt down over not getting an expensive tumbler but getting a cheap one, she’s obviously not grateful to you for even buying her one in the first place. and that behavior will continue if you spoil her further
NTA
I pay for the basics my kids need (they are late teens/early adults) but if they want something more trendy outside of Christmas or birthdays they can buy it with their own earnings.
If you provide all her wants, she’ll never learn to do for herself.
Your approach is good parenting. Your wife is wrong on this.
That’s what birthdays and holidays are for. You are absolutely correct here.
Nta
NTA
She’s acting entitled and she needs to learn the value of a dollar.
Telling a 16 year old to get a job is not unreasonable. When I was a kid, you were expected to get a job as soon as you legally could and before that we made money by babysitting or cutting lawns, shoveling snow or house sitting. Once we were old enough, mom and dad stopped funding the extras.
You and your wife need to get on the same page. If your stepdaughter doesn’t see reality, she’s going to get worse. There’s nothing more repulsive than an entitled adult!
You are absolutely right. NTA. She’s old enough to get a job and pay for her own crap. You’re putting a roof over her head. And your wife is completely in the wrong here, she needs to back you up.
Yta for asking this question, wow kids are spoiled these days. Do parents not know how to tell their kid no? Yta double for even allowing it to get to this point
NTA- Also remind your daughter that Chik-Fil-A is owned and operated by bigots.
She’s an adult in two years. Time for her to wake up.
NTA, your wife is the bigger issue though.
For the record, you can do the “we have Chik-Fil-A at home” thing really easily. You can look up recipes online, but the marinade for the chicken is basically pickle juice and milk. Not hard to make at all, and quite yummy.
NTA. Ick. Please teach her self-control and stop feeding into her demands. This type of thing is exactly why nobody cares about the environment more than their own conveniences and wants.
Yeah no. She’s old enough to get a job. You give her more than the necessities in her life. She can do the rest.
The fact the wife is taking her siiideee is the craziest part..
So are you a wallet to her as well ?
NTA- start giving her an allowance
Ummm
I guessing she needs a after school/weekend job!
Hey
Maybe Chic-fil-A – guessing they either get a discount for employees !!!
Your kid isnt the issue here, its your wife.
But i would say at your kids age at 16, its near to late to change this aditude if her mom suports it.
This should have been dealt with when she was younger.
IF , its new , then you need to sit down with your wife again.
She should start a TikTok on how disgusting her teenage life is, and how mean her parents are for oppressing her self expression, and not letting her be her true self.
There are millions out there like her.
She’ll have a good following and make money in no time!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Always remember, reddit is filled with boys and gross men who love to hate teenage girls. YTA for posting this instead of having a conversation with your daughter about budgeting. It’s normal for teenage children to want what their peers have. I feel like context is missing if mom is upset.
I’m quite sure your wife has more of a responsibility to provide for her daughter than you. What about bio dad? Why is this your responsibility?
“Now my wife and her are upset at me”
Does your wife have a job?
Does your step daughter have an allowance?
There is the starting point.
Ask your mother. Use your allowance. And get a job.
All reasonable responses.
And NEVER believe a teen when they say – “all the other parents are doing it”. It’s a lie.
NTA, she can get a job and buy her own things she is old enough
NTA sit her down and show her a budget. Show her what you have to get by. We are not those people. She wants those things she’s gotta figure it out. There is an app called Every Dollar that could help explain it to her. Eventually she will have to experience the consequences of her actions.
Sounds like you raised a queen and a princess. Nothing wrong with that and you are NTA. They will get over it. You being a man and a father I hope already knows that. But since you needed clarification, again, NTA
does your wife work?
Your wife should be backing you up. Do as she says and your daughter will become an absolute shite of an adult.
Divorce and abandon. NTA
How many times have Reddit users posted this: You have a WIFE problem! Either wife gets on board or consider counseling. This child is headed to a world of woe…perhaps will seek an online Sugar Daddy. Not a good situation. Currently I see a 26-yr-old neighbor male living with his GF and daddy foots the bill for them to live in LA. Ridiculous! Is this what your wife wants for her?
My 4 children (29-23) had jobs as teenagers. They wanted something extra or special, they were taught to save to buy it.
Hard thing is setting expectations. Need to have a real honest talk with her wife. What you believe is a good set of boundaries. Might have to do some compromise. But wife needs to understand why you will not just go out and buy those things when SD asked for them…
Are you really expecting people to think that you should have bought her all this expensive stuff on demand? Is this really a question?
I had really terrible anxiety as a 15 year old. I remember my mom helping me get a job, because I had no idea what that looked like. You should sit down with her and help her. Explain what the future looks like, resumes, hourly wages, building yourself timely, savings, etc.
NTA: Why doesn’t her dad buy her the stuff she wants! You’re the step-dad and it seems to me that you’re teaching her that as an adult you need to go out and work for the stuff you want in life and it just doesn’t get handed to you! Maybe you should teach your wife that too. If your wife works tell her to support her kid then.
STEP daughter. Hate to tell you this but your wife married you so you could spoil both of them. Circle the wagons and talk to a lawyer.
NTA – as you said she is treating you like her personal ATM – you are treating her as you would your bio-daughter if she was trying to pull the same trick.
NTA. Growing up I would ask for the occasional nice thing, but more often than not was happy with the inexpensive thing. Anything else was paid for with what money I made at McDonalds. Computer, subwoofers, etc. Brand name expensive jeans? I paid for them unless it was xmas. And Silver jeans aren’t even THAT expensive.
You don’t grow spoiled teens overnight. How did this kid come to grow up like this? Where has the parenting been?
You might also start with taking her phone and putting parent controls on it and removing social media.
If she goes around you, phones are a privilege, not a right.
Hell no. I have a 16 year old. At this moment he is looking for parttime work. If he wants extra’s he knows he needs to pay it himself
People give me grief for restricting my kid’s access to social media. But this is why. Even as a family we only have screen time on the weekends, unless it’s for specific school work. My kids are actually happier because of it. NTA, I would tell the wife to get a job, and the daughter to get a job. and then kick them out. She married you for your money.
Why isn’t her BIOLOGICAL father buying her those things?
Also F**K TikTok. I think its a circle jerking echo chamber, personally.
she wanted a Stanley tumbler yesterday?
those have been out of style for months, is this a bot reposting content? Lol
NTA – I got a job at 15. If she wants things she has to work for them.
NTA. I’m concerned that your wife taking her part. Also may see you as an ATM for both of them. Not to sound like a jerk here, but I’m gonna say the thing that nobody wants to say..she’s not even your kid and it sounds like you’re doing enough
I don’t think you’re wrong but I think: don’t hate, educate.
It’s easy to be annoyed with this behavior, but whens the last time yall sat down and explained budgeting with her? Or any financial responsibility?
I think she’s acting this way bc she has no clue about money. I think it’s time yall taught her. Speaking of tiktok, I’ve seen a few viral reels where parents do financial literacy and budgeting activities with their kids. It can even be fun!
Maybe try that out instead of judging her for not knowing things as a dumb teenager, idk
Chick-fil-A is garbage food and Stanley cups are overpriced garbage too. It’s important to teach her how to eat healthy and buy stainless steel reusable cups (not Stanley’s) to be eco conscious. Teach her why we buy thoughtfully and consider the ramifications. NTA. If she’s around 15 she should pick up some work like babysitting so she can save up for things she really wants.
You already know the answer
Fuck them kids as I would say
I got my first job at 15 and saved for everything I wanted. When it was a big item, my parents would kick in half as a birthday or Christmas present. No way you should be her ATM. Does your wife work? Is her father in the picture? We need more info. But you are NTA. Time to start limiting your funds.
NTA and your wife needs to get on board. She’s encouraging behaviors that could lead to poor choices life long for your daughter. Expecting everything while doing nothing. Over consumption of material goods. Following trends to a point of never feeling fulfilled or happy.
Have you tried making boba at home with her? Maybe if you did other bonding activities that might help. My husband and I make boba smoothies several times a week, and the cost is very low since the high cost of boba is mostly to cover the cost of the fancy sealing machine.
Have you shown her the household budget? Have you sat down and explaining how much money is available for an outing? Has she been allowed to do the budgeting for a trip?
Telling someone to “get a job” is rude, especially if you haven’t been transparent about cost limits and haven’t looked for other options outside of just offering cheap knockoffs.
NTA and videotape her tantrums for TikTok
NTA… Therapy is required in this situation. Your wife opposes you? Not good.
Run is an option, lol
Have a kid that age and if he started to have meltdowns about Boba, chikfila, and expensive clothes, I would just tell him to get a grip. What you have is more of a wife problem and you two need to sit down and have a deep conversation about this situation. Nta
Sounds like it’s your wife’s turn to pay for some of this stuff, if she thinks your daughter should have it without earning it. She can get the job.
I have a feeling this didn’t just start with TikTok.
Whew, some redditors are so dramatic.
She’s 16. Oh, to be a 16 year old girl again. Moody, hormones all over the place. Wanting to fit in.
It’s normal that she wants to fit in with her peers. Social media is definitely putting pressure on this like never before. She needs to understand that online doesn’t always equal the norm.
That being said, it’s not far fetched she is behaving like this. I would, however, encourage her to get a job. I wanted Juicy Couture $200 hoodies at 15, and my parents couldn’t (and wouldn’t !) afford them. So I got a job, and afforded them myself .
It is what it is. She has to learn that these things are expensive, and not in your casual budget.
I’m more concerned about your wife, than your daughter, tbh. Does she know anything about your finances ?! Does she work? Let her discretionary income go to HER child.
No. Nope. NTA
Chick fil a hires 16 year olds! Great first job if you can get it.
Oh absolutely NTA. My teens go to a private school on a scholarship so I know all about this. Everyone has to have the same stuff. No, absolutely not. I flat out tell them we’re not rich. They understand and 16 is absolutely old enough to get a job.
NTA- entitlement with teens is legendary.
Seriously if you have a Goodwill bins.
By the pound? You will find all that crap there.
Like brand new with tags. In fact, I look for empty ones because sometimes I guess people put gift cards in them because they’re holiday gifts that nobody wanted and they just tossed them in the thrift.
I found a pair of gold earrings last week.
If you want to see what’s a trend, look at the thrift stores.
NTA, other than you’ve raised a child who feels it’s her right to demand anything of you like that. Did you not teach her manners??
The question is why are the 16-year-olds girls like this now??? When I was 15 I was counting down the days until I was old enough to get a job so I could feel like an adult 😁 and spend my own money! Now they act like they’re five with their temper tantrums👎🏻👎🏻
You are not a bank. I sincerely hope that you kept premarital assets separate. I would make sure you keep your paycheck from now on in a separate account too. She and her daughter see you as an atm.
NTA Tell Ms Tik Tok to get a job and she can buy anything she wishes
The fuck is “boba”?
Anything to do with Boba Fett?
Wife kinda seems like TA here. She should be your partner in parenting.
NTA. If you don’t set a boundary, no one will respect it. Again, their lives is not your SD’s life. You gave her options, she needs to do them, or, better yet, tell your wife she needs a second job so she can make sure her daughter has all her heart desires, and more. But, you are not funding a teenager’s whims. Nope, not gonna happen. NTA.
It’s reasons like this I’m glad my SD has been working since she was 15….she never demanded pricey stuff from us except for NIKE shoes for Christmas…and she still has most of them years later.
What’s mom have to say in all of this?
Mom should be dealing with this mess.
This is a great time to blast that song
SING IT WITH ME NOW
YOU CANT ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT!!!!
Wife see you as a ATM???? Because that’s what it sounds like
Introduce daughter to thrift store shopping, I got a Stanley for $3.99 and get her a link on how to make her own boba.
If you are going to support the extraneous spending then give her a set budget for the month. All food, boba, and clothing comes out of her budget. She can decide if she wants boba or to save up for the shoes.
You know what my dad would have said if I’d told him that my friend’s dad did this or that?
“I’m not Friend’s dad.”
Yeah if shes 16 and wants all this shit she can get a job. I got a job at 16 so I could get my own shit.
NTA
You don’t have a step daughter problem, you have a wife problem.
You’re right. Find out why this upsets your wife because that might be where your problem originates.
Bro, when I was 16 and my dad took me and my brothers to Dairy Queen, I knew the only option was Dilly Bar or Medium Vanilla Cone. If any one of us even asked for a Blizzard, it would terminate the whole outing. Everyone, back in the car, we’re going home because fancy pants over here wants a Blizzard.
Chick-fil-A hates gays. NTA.
I remember when my son was in middle school and we were shopping for Nikes. He brought me a pair that was $200 and I fell out laughing. The store associate did his best to suppress a laugh as well and my son quietly put the shoe back. That is where it ended.
Your daughter can ask but no is no, and trust me- it wouldn’t stop with one pair of $300 shoes. Hold the line! Someday, believe it or not, your daughter will be grateful that you raised her right. NTA.
If she gets a job, she needs to be taught that buying chik-fil-a and boba everyday is not the way and she will never have anything, if she does. To some, it may seem like a small daily expense, but to those who are financially literate know those things add up. Teach her financial literacy. Many parents don’t and that lack of money carries on from generation to generation.
No, you are NTA. You are the ATM.
Nta. Fast fashion, quick trends are ruining everything. So is any social media. Pretending we have these cool, curated lifestyles we cant afford for likes and follows. She can get a part time job for extras.
Lmao making up a fake story to hate on a fictional teenager is so sad
You are doing the right thing by your girl. Stick to your guns or she’ll only get worse. Her friend’s dad is ruining his daughter, but your daughter is too young to see that.
Nta. Shut that entitled shit down. Make her work.
Them your wife can buy her daughter that stuff. You have literally zero obligation, specially when is stuff that is NOT needed, and also you do not agree with.
Soft ESH, leaning NTA but the way you talk about your stepdaughter is honestly kind of cold, and that matters.
From your stepdaughter’s perspective (and likely your wife’s too), this might feel less like financial discipline and more like a rejection, especially the fact that she’s your stepdaughter and not biologically yours. Even if that’s not your intention, perception matters.
Yes, teenagers can be materialistic, dramatic, and exhausting especially in a world where TikTok is shaping their identity faster than parents can keep up. But she’s 16, not 26. The meltdown over the Stanley cup, the Chick-fil-A, the boba those are surface-level wants, but they’re often tied to something deeper: a need to fit in, to feel seen, to form an identity. That’s not “spoiled” that’s growing up in 2025.
At that age, validation and belonging are everything. Social media glorifies materialism, and she’s not just trying to keep up with friends she’s chasing the version of herself that she believes will finally feel worthy. And if she doesn’t have a strong foundation of self-worth at home, she’ll look for it in trends, things, and how others perceive her.
You’re not wrong to draw a financial boundary. In fact, you should. It’s healthy to teach her the value of money and not indulge every trend. But the way you describe her “unbearable,” “spoiled,” “chasing nonsense,” like she’s being manipulative feels more like resentment than parenting. And whether you mean it or not, there’s a subtext: she’s not really your daughter.
That will cut deep, even if she can’t name it yet. And it might explain why she’s pushing boundaries testing if you’ll still show up for her even when she’s being “too much.”
So yes, hold the line financially. But if you want any real relationship with her ever, you have to soften the delivery. She’s not just being dramatic she’s begging to feel seen, loved, and secure. If you don’t deal with that properly now, she’ll deal with it later with a therapist, and possibly some serious daddy issues. Either you are well equipped to be a father figure for her, one that she thinks of fondly or you are not and she ends up resentful. Be the man who doesn’t become another wound.
Soft YTA for caving so much until now, the entitlement didn’t just happen out of nowhere either. Time to change that for good.
Obviously you are NTA. Your problem lies within the family dynamics where you are not in control of the family’s values.
NTA. Stick to your word and don’t let your wife tell you to do otherwise
yeah, she can work if she wants to burn money or let her mother pay for that BS.
NTA You’re being reasonable but your wife and step daughter aren’t.
This is how you teach someone to be responsible with money, by making them earn their own when they’re old enough. If she’s old enough to make demands like this, she’s old enough to pay for it herself.
Kudos for not rolling over and taking the easy way out. You’re helping her learn to not become a complete idiot with her spending when she’s an adult in a few short years.
Your wife is working against you trying to teach this lesson. Unfortunately, that won’t help you or her daughter.
of course she should get a job.
giving kids endless expensive freebies damages their development, it is really important that at an early age they learn the value of money and what is involved in creating it.
Why is her mom and dad not paying for these things? NTA
So I was a teenager in Germany in the 90s. Levi’s Jeans were THE thing and cost around 120 to 150 DM. So my parents gave me 50 DM for a pair of jeans and told me to earn the rest myself, bc they would not pay for overpriced jeans, just bc they were from a “brand”. I was 14 then and got a job.
Your step daughter is 16, she can get a job to pay for some of the things she wants. Especially if it’s stuff like a Stanley Cup or luxury/ premium products where you pay for the brand name and marketing costs.
NTA…kids nowadays have no concept of money reality and parents keep letting it happen. It’s setting these kids up for failure when (and if) they ever do leave the nest. Telling her she needs to start earning her own money if she wants these things is a big step in the right direction- she’ll either get on board with the idea or realize how much she didn’t “need” them to begin with. I earned money starting at 13 from babysitting and my parents knew when I truly wanted something because I took every job I was offered, and if it was something really special, like my first pair of heels, my dad let me get all the way to the counter then was like “Ok you really earned these and I want to treat you, I’ll pay for this.” Didn’t happen every time, or even 25% of the time, but here and there, and then those things became really special. A job – even babysitting in the neighborhood (you don’t need a car for this) – and a bank account will go a long way to making her understand how the world works.
NTA. You are her stepdad…these are things her mother and father should be buying for her. It’s not your responsibility unless you adopt her.
NTA. Does she have an allowance? Because it sounds like it’s time to stop buying her things altogether and to just set her up on a set monthly allowance. If it’s not enough then she can get herself a job like everybody else. That will teach her spoiled ass how to manage money at the same time, which is clearly a big issue for her at the moment.
Kids are kids, and they are being attacked by brain altering propaganda like never before
Having s conversation is much better than just calling them a bum and saying get a job
NTA… send her to her “dad” !
She should have an allowance every month if she isn’t going to get a part-time job. The allowance includes things that need to be done around the house. Does her dad contribute any money towards her wants/needs? You are not her parent and strict boundaries about budgeting for her and mom sounds like well overdue
Nta she learned your an ATM from watching her mom. Why doesn’t her mom buy her everything
Tell her to get a job. And divorce the wife if you have to to not go bankrupt. Selfish people.
NTA, she’s 16 and plenty old enough to get a part-time job if she wants all that trendy stuff
why is she asking you and not her Bio dad?
NTA. But also maybe don’t buy the tumbler at all. At our house I cover needs, and I treat my kids to lunch or dinner once or twice a month. For wants the kids can spend their own money. They either use birthday money or money from doing jobs. Or they can wait and the want can be a birthday or Christmas gift. Learning to not get everything you want right away is a life skill. Consider giving your daughter a clothes budget. That way she can decide to get one or two expensive items or more inexpensive items.
Stand by for false sex abuse charges.
Why doesn’t her father buy her all the brand things she wants? After all, she says “well my friends dad buys her everything she wants.” You’re stepdad, not dad. Or her mother, since she’s upset
You’re right, you’re not an ATM. She’s 16, she can perfectly find a job to get those things she wants
NTAH! I cant stand tiktok! My step daughter is always wanting all these trendy things she sees on tiktok.
Does her mother have a job?
Nta, if her mum is upset she can buy her daughter the things she’s demanding
EVERY kid whose parents eased their life turned them into greedy a**holes.
NTAH
Eating CFA 3 times a week is an easy way to become unhealthy in a hurry
NTA. Never in anyone’s life do they just get what they want all the time. Time she gets a job and starts learning the art of bargain hunting. They’re already starting to sell stanley’s at marshall’s and tj maxx. If she keeps an eye out, she may be able to get one for ~$20.
NTA, she needs to have a reality check. You aren’t her ATM
I’d give up all the other stuff for the Chik-fil-A… $50 tumbler? Nope… Where I live that is right about 5 #1 combos, with large fries/coke… probably 4 if you get the mac and cheese. But no, you are not an AH… She needs to get a job, or your wife and foot the bill, or SHE can get another job…
NTA: I got my first job at 14 and used that money for eating out & some expensive school clothes I wanted. By 16, she should have a part time job & use the money she earns to buy what she wants. She won’t learn the value of a dollar any other way.
You’re either raising daddy’s little girl or you’re raising someone to become an adult. Since she’s not your kid she should be told to fund her own expensive tastes.
NTA.
In what world would you be TA for this?
Get a divorce otherwise you will be here in ten years complaining how your wife is threatening you to a divorce unless you pay for the daughter’s $200,000 destinations wedding.
Who cares what she wants? Let her bio dad pay or her mom pay out of the child support she gets. Or she gets a job and learns how much stuff costs. If this is real (which is hard to believe anybody would be so stupid) quit throwing your money down the drain.
16 huh? I bet chick fil a is hiring right now
is this r/AmITheAngel ?
The biggest issue with social media is people are constantly comparing their lives to others.
Instead of only having knowledge of their situation, they are constantly bombarded with knowledge of the way other people live, wether it’s true or an online facade. I personally feel this has had a detrimental effect on society.
Why are you even asking us this?
Absolutely NTA. Exactly what I tell the little now even though she’s too young to get a job. I make her “earn” these treats, not just get them.
No, keeping kids ungrateful for what they get is why we have so many insufferable adults now
NTA. She should apply for a job at Chikfila so she can be there 3 days a week & use her own money.
NTA. You decide on an amount each day, week, or month as her living expenses. Give it to her daily, weekly, or monthly as you see fit. What she does with it at that point is up to her. Do not give her extra. If you notice her mother giving her extra, reduce your amount by the amount her mother gives.
Sounds like you have a wife problem. Is your wife this frivolous with money as well? Maybe mom and daughter both need to get jobs and stop being so entitled. NTA. Is her bio dad the same way?
I’m with you: even though I could afford to eat out every day, and buy designer clothes, it’s wasteful and unnecessary. Your stepdaughter needs to learn good values.
You have to stick with it! Don’t cave! Let her get her damn job and at the very least contribute to all of these things.
NTA…. She needs to learn the value of a dollar….
NTA ..stand your ground .. the best thing that taught me the value of money as a kid was my mom saying no ..me having to learn to save some of my allowance. Doing extra to make more $ and getting a job when it’s was legal to do so .. learning how to manage your money and save is something that needs to be not just taught be learned .. through doing and loss .
Stepdaughter only so of course she should ask her real dad
NTA. youre dealing with another entitles gen z’er. Shes 16. She should have an after school job regardless.
Curious – How old is your wife to have a 16 year old? I’m also guessing this is your first time around teenagers.
NTA, it’s just life.
Want nice things? Have a plan to get them that doesn’t rely on other people bankrolling it
Been telling our kids this as soon as they turn 14. Mom and dad are not your personal ATM. Hold your ground!
NTA. Whoever invented Tik-Tok is an evil genius, creating en entire generation of entitled children who are addicted to consumerism for consumerism’s sake. Much TV for the ealier generations. Except with TV, parents could turn it off.
Your wife is the asshole.
NTA. When I was about that age, my parents covered my needs but I had to cover my wants. I’d been babysitting regularly since I was 12 and got my first W-2 job at 15.
NTA – she is 16 and can get a PT job and start paying for the things she wants. She will learn the value of money this way.