So, I started at the same job as my brother around four years ago. When we were put onto similar shifts he came up with the idea for me to drive him to work (he does not drive) and he’d pay me half of what he’s been spending on uber with the caveat that he’d use the other half he saved to pay for his driving lessons.
Here we are, four years later. I’m on his shift at 6am and start receiving texts about how I should give him a lift.
I tried to explain I don’t want to, I don’t like that I add the extra time on, have to get up earlier and frankly he just wastes the money he saves. So I said no, it’s not worth it and frankly only for full uber would it be worth it but I still don’t want to.
I start receiving messages about how he’s asked all his other friends and they said they’d never charge a friend for a favour, and I explained that a favour isn’t four years long and he never got his licence like he said he would.
I got more texts about favours for friends and how we shouldn’t charge people but he gives me money for it so it’s ok. I said if he’s so big on favours, why when I moved two years ago did I have to pay him for that..
Eventually I just said no, book an uber and left it
The issue in question is, am I right in denying a lift without proper compensation for it even if it’s from a family member, or am I the asshole for expecting to be compensated for this?
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So, I started at the same job as my brother around four years ago. When we were put onto similar shifts he came up with the idea for me to drive him to work (he does not drive) and he’d pay me half of what he’s been spending on uber with the caveat that he’d use the other half he saved to pay for his driving lessons.
Here we are, four years later. I’m on his shift at 6am and start receiving texts about how I should give him a lift.
I tried to explain I don’t want to, I don’t like that I add the extra time on, have to get up earlier and frankly he just wastes the money he saves. So I said no, it’s not worth it and frankly only for full uber would it be worth it but I still don’t want to.
I start receiving messages about how he’s asked all his other friends and they said they’d never charge a friend for a favour, and I explained that a favour isn’t four years long and he never got his licence like he said he would.
I got more texts about favours for friends and how we shouldn’t charge people but he gives me money for it so it’s ok. I said if he’s so big on favours, why when I moved two years ago did I have to pay him for that..
Eventually I just said no, book an uber and left it
The issue in question is, am I right in denying a lift without proper compensation for it even if it’s from a family member, or am I the asshole for expecting to be compensated for this?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I stopped giving a coworker a lift to work after four years of doing it because I felt it wasn’t worth my time to continue doing so if I was not paid enough to do it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. He told you one thing and did another. NTM You’re not OBLIGATED to give him a ride
NTA
NTA. All those friends who said they wouldn’t charge for a favor? They can give him a ride.
NTA, he didn’t uphold his end of the bargain. Four years is a LONG time to be providing him with rides. If he were learning to drive, that would be one thing, but he’s mooching off of you.
Your argument is a little confusing because you were being compensated, but regardless you’re not obligated to give him a ride for any reason. NTA.
How much earlier does his shift start than yours?
NTA it doesnt matter if they are family they are using you like an Uber and this is a relationship that you are saying he doesnt reciprocate. I mean if you moved on to another job was he still expecting you to give him a lift?
He is using you for rides and treating you like his own personal taxi/chauffer. Realistically, this cannot go on forever, and it has already been too long, so NTA.
NTA.
Four years and he hasn’t gotten his own license and vehicle? He’s a leech and taking you for granted.
NTA. Sometimes the money isn’t worth the time and effort. Most of us don’t mind doing favors for others once in a while, but having to go out of your way (at least it sounds like it’s out of your way) to pick up someone on a daily basis isn’t fair.
If your brother’s friends don’t mind it, one of them can take him to work. I’d be willing to bet they would excuse themselves by saying it’s out of their way.
NTA, he needs to get his priorities straight and get his license. Helping someone is fine, but at year 2 he was taking advantage of you
NTA. No is a full sentence and you don’t owe him anything. You’ve been nice by giving him rides for the last 4 years. At MINIMUM, he should be contributing to gas – at $4/gallon, gas is not a minor expense.
But the entitlement is strong. All those friends who say they would do it for free? They can give him a ride if they care so much.
Tell him to ask his friends to drive him as a favour. NTA