My mother-in-law lives in a flat with six cats and a dog. We went over there recently for lunch, and as usual, the cats were everywhere – including on the dining table, where the plates, cutlery, and starters were already laid out.
At one point, I saw one of the cats lick one of the starters. I immediately took the cat off the table, picked up the plate with the food it had licked, and brought it into the kitchen, assuming it would be binned.
A few minutes later, my MIL came out holding the same plate and said, “I’ve already taken off the bit that was licked – it’s fine to eat now.” I said, “Sorry, but I’m not going to eat something an animal’s licked.”
She seemed a bit put out, took the plate back into the kitchen, and chucked it.
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt uncomfortable there. The whole flat smells strongly of animals – you can even smell it out on the landing. There’s a litter tray in the kitchen, where the cats do their business, and then they jump up onto the kitchen counters and the dining table. I find it incredibly unhygienic, but I usually bite my tongue out of respect.
In this case, though, she hadn’t seen the cat lick the food – I had. So she had no idea which bit was affected and, honestly, it felt like she just pretended to sort it out so we’d still eat it.
I didn’t raise my voice or make a scene – I just calmly said I wasn’t going to eat it. But she clearly took it badly.
AITA for refusing to eat it and for being disgusted by what I think is a serious lack of hygiene in her home?
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My mother-in-law lives in a flat with six cats and a dog. We went over there recently for lunch, and as usual, the cats were everywhere – including on the dining table, where the plates, cutlery, and starters were already laid out.
At one point, I saw one of the cats lick one of the starters. I immediately took the cat off the table, picked up the plate with the food it had licked, and brought it into the kitchen, assuming it would be binned.
A few minutes later, my MIL came out holding the same plate and said, “I’ve already taken off the bit that was licked – it’s fine to eat now.” I said, “Sorry, but I’m not going to eat something an animal’s licked.”
She seemed a bit put out, took the plate back into the kitchen, and chucked it.
This isn’t the first time I’ve felt uncomfortable there. The whole flat smells strongly of animals – you can even smell it out on the landing. There’s a litter tray in the kitchen, where the cats do their business, and then they jump up onto the kitchen counters and the dining table. I find it incredibly unhygienic, but I usually bite my tongue out of respect.
In this case, though, she hadn’t seen the cat lick the food – I had. So she had no idea which bit was affected and, honestly, it felt like she just pretended to sort it out so we’d still eat it.
I didn’t raise my voice or make a scene – I just calmly said I wasn’t going to eat it. But she clearly took it badly.
AITA for refusing to eat it and for being disgusted by what I think is a serious lack of hygiene in her home?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I’m wondering if I’m the asshole because I refused to eat food my MIL served after I saw her cat lick it, even though she insisted she had removed the licked part. I told her I wouldn’t eat anything an animal had licked, and she got visibly upset. I didn’t make a scene, but I was honest. On top of that, I feel very uncomfortable in her home due to what I consider a serious lack of hygiene — the smell, the litter tray in the kitchen, and the cats jumping on surfaces where food is prepared. I usually keep my feelings to myself out of respect, but this time I couldn’t. I worry that I came off as rude or judgemental, so I’m asking: AITA for refusing to eat the food and for being so grossed out by the environment?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Stop going there to eat (or maybe for anything)… Eat and hangout elsewhere. Problem solved.
NTA. But in fairness, you could have removed the bit the cat licked instead of of making her bin the whole tray.
NTA remotely. Cats in litter boxes (in the kitchen?!) then jumping onto counters and tables with soiled litter paws – 🤢🤮. It’s beyond unhygienic. I wouldn’t eat anything there or anything your MIL brings elsewhere.
NTA
I would not eat in that house again. Gross.
‘You can’t eat at everybody’s house.’
NTA
I live in a 1 bedroom flat, i have ONE cat! How the hell does she manage all of them?! (She clearly doesn’t!) I mean, if i have a smidge of mayo left on my plate, then I plop it on the floor for her 😂 she’s currently asleep in her bed in my wardrobe after being out all night, so my mayo is safe!
I have 6 cats. I’m honestly amazed at the level of comfort of certain people with pets. The litterbox for one in the kitchen is so damn gross. And yes my cats climb the countertops but I always disinfect before and after I cook/eat. Also I let my cats lick certain things but I would never serve to that to a guest. That’s just weird.
absolutely nta
NTA. I love cats sm, and tbh I don’t mind eating after my own because they’re my babies. But I wouldn’t eat after someone else’s and would never expect someone to eat after mine.
I also don’t understand people who are just fine with their animals being on food surfaces. Obviously, it’s happens sometimes despite efforts, but to just be permissive of it? Could never be me.
NTA, time to invite her out to eat instead of going to her home to eat. My grandmother was like this and once I had the choice, I never ate at her house again.
Let’s see:
I don’t see why you’d have a problem with cats?!?!?!?!?
I don’t understand why anyone allows their cat to climb all over the kitchen counters or kitchen table. I know cats have a mind of their own but they can be trained to not do this. And yes I’ve had plenty of cats throughout my life and none of them did this.
NTA
I have four cats and I love them but I would NOT eat after my cat picked or ate food… but I am also very germophobic. I will say, some cats are very stubborn and more difficult to train. 3 of my cats are well behaved and won’t eat human food or jump on the counters, but i have one cat that absolutely will eat food off your plate when you’re not looking and will jump on the counters, so I wipe them before and after I plan to use it/cook.
I can understand the frustration of MIL spending a lot of time on a meal, and your guests dont want to eat it, however you had a perfectly valid reason to not wanting to eat it. Honestly, I wouldn’t even wanna eat a a table where the cats are constantly jumping on and off the table, as they typically have litter stuck between their toes that WILL fall off, and they may shed all over the table and food. I would not want to eat after the cat either. However, I do think you should have just taken off the pieces the cat ate so everybody else would be able to enjoy it.
But, MIL shouldn’t lie about taking off the piece herself. She sounds like the type of person who would lie just to get her way… Anyways, NTA, would be NAH but it sounds like mother in law got aggressive with you and blew up on you.
NTA. That’s your personal preference. I’m quite disgusting 🤗🤣 I had a dog, he was my world, a pomeranian. We went everywhere together. I was on the train and had an egg mayo sandwich, I gave him some and he spit it out, and without thinking, I ate it 😳 Then I saw a dude look at me like 😑🤢 and I was like oh crap, I’m in public 🤣
I have a cat now, I let him eat from my plate. I’m super gross, I know. Fortunately, my partner is equally gross with his cats 🤗 We’re both super clean and tidy in general, just let the cats walk on kitchen counters, eat from our plate. If I made food for guests, I’d make sure to super clean beforehand and not expect them to be fine with our cats nomming from their dish bc more people are like you than me. Respecting other people’s ways is very important. If someone said they don’t want to eat my food at all due to my cat, I’d understand and accept that. People really need to learn to stop pushing their own ways onto others. You’re fine NTA.
NTA. Please don’t go back there. Just have her over meet her out.
Having the litter box in the kitchen is certainly gross. Allowing them on the counter or tables is rude. I’d’ve fed the meal to the cats after they ate part of it. Shalom you’re loved 💔
As for the smell, she should try vinegar. Shalom you’re loved 💔
Just don’t eat there. I wouldn’t eat something my own animals had licked, or eat off plates they’d licked. Yuck.
Eat before you go, decline any invitations for a meal, and stick to your guns. Don’t let kids eat there either, same excuses (eat before etc).
NTA
nope, wouldn’t touch that food with a ten-foot pole either. hard pass
NTA
I have two cats and one constantly jumps on the table, so when we have guests over we lock the cats in the bedroom and disinfect the table and counters before cooking and serving food. I would never expect anyone to eat food on a surface with my cat on it!
NTA. I have two cats and two dogs. When it comes to the kitchen, my cats are trained to never ever get onto the counters for fear of Bastet’s wrath (aka my spray bottle with water). All the cats I’ve ever had know this rule. They do get onto the dining table but know never ever to go there during human meal time, and I clean it off with disinfectant before setting the table. Cats can be trained quite easily (mine also know to leave my houseplants alone, and that anything they do in the middle of the night that might wake me is not a good idea). The dogs know not to beg for food (even if they will hang out in the open kitchen-dining-living room space staring at us with hopefulness, knowing good behavior might be rewarded with a treat after us humans finish out meal). I wouldn’t eat something another human just licked either, and while cats are generally clean animals they walk around after burying their poop in a box, so, yeah. No cats near my food, ever. (Also I love my super sweet animals who know the house rules well)
This is why I don’t eat at potlucks. NTA.
I think the word people are looking for is toxoplasmosis, generally spread via cat feces. Just another of our many parasitic friends that even a little basic hygiene can help us avoid.