I (27f) was dating Rob (28m) for over 5 years but ended our relationship last year when I found out he was sleeping with my sister Izzy (25f). I was pregnant at the time and quickly learned Izzy was too so I ended my pregnancy. Izzy already knew because Rob had told her and even though I told her I wanted nothing to do with her and had blocked her everywhere (or so I thought I missed one account) she told me we needed to stay in touch because our kids would be siblings. When I didn’t reply Rob told me he wanted to be a dad still and I told him there was no baby anymore and he needed to leave me alone.
Izzy told our family what had happened and what I did and she was absolutely vile about me. My brother Ryan (22m) showed me screenshots and the stuff Izzy was saying was infuriating but also just further cemented the whole I’m done with you forever part.
Izzy tried to get in touch with me once after all of that. She would have been 8 months pregnant. But I blocked her new account and carried on with my life. She was loving with Rob at that time. They broke up since then and Izzy had the baby. Now she’s homeless with the baby. But Rob sees the baby I think? She was in a rental for a while and then a shelter and then I guess another shelter that she didn’t feel safe being in. She asked our parents for help and they sent her money and tried to help her find a place but they couldn’t.
This is where they tried to bring me in because they want(ed) me to step in and help her. We don’t live in the same state as our parents and our parents say she’s afraid to leave because of custody issues with the baby.
I told them I am forever no contact with Izzy and she no longer has a sister to help her. They told me in a real emergency we need to put aside people’s bad actions and help. I suggested they keep sending her money to get her on her feet and help her themselves. They’ve been here visiting so many times and they almost know the town better than I do even after 9 years of living here. Ryan agreed with me and told our parents they should be the ones helping Izzy, not me.
They tried to find Rob and make him do something but he only wants to help the baby. My parents told me I need to help or else who knows what will happen. I refused and then I had to block my parents because they were doing their best to make me feel like a monster for refusing to help even when I pointed out she called me that and worse over my prior pregnancy. Ryan told me they’re still going crazy and they’re in the process of trying to move Izzy in with them. But they still believe I should have put the issue aside to help.
AITA?
Comments
NTA. This is a literal fuck around and find out situation.
NTA. She betrayed you in the worst way, trashed you after, and now expects your help? No one is entitled to access someone they deeply hurt just because they’re in a tough spot. It’s sad she’s struggling, but you owe her nothing. Boundaries exist for a reason
NTA. “In a real emergency….MY EFFING BUTTHOLE” your damn parents can help her out then. She massively betrayed you and you’re expected to let her in your home with open arms? Nah.
NTA, She nuked the sister bond when she slept with your man and then paraded it while you were grieving a pregnancy. Now she’s homeless and wants to cash in on family ties she set on fire? Actions have consequences.. and you’re not an emotional FEMA unit
NTA. She betrayed you, trashed you, and now wants help? No contact means no contact. Your family can help her if they’re so concerned, you are not responsible for saving the person who broke you.
Nta. These people sound like proper wankers
NTA. She burned all her bridges with you. After you had broken up with Rob, Izzy should have taken the victory and been a good winner. Instead she was vile towards you.
It never ends well helping people like that out. They will make your life a living hell if you let them back in, because you can never do enough to help them. Just as your parents sent money, she still couldn’t dig herself out of the situation she was in.
While you can feel bad about her kiddo, they will always find some excuse why you need to help out, they will be on the streets, they will go to jail, they will starve, they won’t have shoes for school, etc. Stay out of their drama and their compulsive lies.
Nope. Rob needs to take his baby from your sister, and that b1tch needs to grow up and get her shit together.
ETA except OP.
She already burned the sister / family bridge. Now she’s just an untrustworthy person who’s already screwed you over massively. Why should you give a shit what happens to her? NTA.
YTA. Your parents are right.
JUST KIDDING HOLY SHIT NTA. Your sister is a bitch and your parents are assholes. The AUDACITY of some people 😡
NTA. Rob’s an animal and Izzy’s not the sharpest.
Parents should move close to Izzy and she can live with them. Everyone should live happily ever after.
NTA. These are the consequences of her actions.
On a practical level, however, if you live in a different state and there are custody issues, the law likely wouldn’t even allow your sister and baby to live with you anyway.
NTA. Your sister and the baby are not your responsibility. The baby is Rob’s responsibility and he needs to step up and be a father. Izzy also needs to get it together and get a job and your parents could have her move in with them temporarily.
I wish Karma struck all people like this. NTA.
Updateme!
NTA. She made her choices. You made yours. It’s your parents problem.
God I hate family, and these stories just makes it so much worse, anyway NTA live your life without people like that
NTA. She is not your responsibility and behaved appallingly. You’ve made your situation clear to all concerned and it’s up to them if they want to help her but they shouldn’t be trying to make you.