All names are fake.
I hope everyone reading this is doing well. I’m a 34M living in Germany. Originally, I’m from an Asian country, which I’ll leave unnamed for personal reasons.
I want to share something that happened to me about three years ago. I had a cousin, Meena (45F), and her husband, Rajiv (46M), with a daughter who was 19 at the time. To me, Meena wasn’t just a cousin she was like an elder sister. She had always been kind and supportive, and our relationship was built on mutual respect and affection.
I worked in IT back then and had a decent income. Whenever a family member needed help, especially financial, I did what I could. I was single and saving to buy a home for myself. That was a dream I had long held onto.
One day, Meena reached out to me, visibly emotional. Her daughter had received an offer from her dream university, but they couldn’t afford the tuition fees. Meena and Rajiv had not saved anything for her education. They had exhausted all other options and came to me as a last resort.
At first, I was willing to help. But after looking into the details and assessing my own financial commitments, I realized I couldn’t manage it. I gently declined, explaining my situation. Meena became slightly frustrated and said that since I was single, helping her daughter wouldn’t hurt me. I told her I simply didn’t have enough resources and that her daughter’s education was her and Rajiv’s responsibility, not mine. She didn’t say much, just nodded and left crying. I truly wanted to help, but I couldn’t give up everything I had worked so hard to save.
About a week later, I was home when two police officers came to my house. I was shocked to see them at my door. They asked for my name and then handcuffed me. I was in complete disbelief. I asked why they were arresting me, and one of them coldly said that people like me disgust him. I asked again for clarification, and he said I should be ashamed for trying to assault a 19 year old.
Apparently, Meena and Rajiv had filed a report accusing me of attempting to assault their daughter. I had never even been alone with her in any inappropriate setting, let alone done what I was being accused of. I thought there had to be some mistake or misunderstanding. But there wasn’t.
My brother came to see me, and I told him everything. I asked him why Meena would do something so vile. He had no idea but promised to hire the best lawyer he could to help me.
The legal battle began. My name was dragged through the mud. I was not charged with anything because there was no evidence to support the claims. But I was suspended from my job pending investigation, and soon after, I was let go. Friends distanced themselves. Extended family members cut ties. Even my own parents, caught between confusion and shame, didn’t know what to believe. I was branded a predator based on nothing but a lie. No one stood by me except for my brother.
With my reputation destroyed and no work prospects, I left my home country and moved to Germany. The trauma of betrayal and losing everything not just my career, but my dignity, relationships, and peace left me completely hollow.
Three years passed. I stayed silent. No one came to check on me except for my brother. I was, and still am, alone in this country. My trust was shattered so badly that I never tried to get close to anyone again. I don’t have friends here, because the trauma still haunts me. I always fear that someone will hurt me again and I’ll be dragged through the same nightmare.
About a week ago, my brother called and told me that Meena’s daughter had finally confessed everything in front of the family. It turns out Meena and Rajiv had orchestrated the false accusation in a moment of desperation and anger after I refused to give them money. They thought the pressure of a scandal would break me, that I’d either pay up or try to quietly settle to avoid disgrace. But when I didn’t, they let the lie spiral out of control. They had also forced their daughter to go along with their plan. She admitted that the accusation was false, that I had never touched her, and that she did it under pressure from her mother.
Now, the same people who once cut me off are trying to reach out to me. Relatives and old friends have been begging my brother to tell them where I am. He hasn’t shared my details with anyone. I only told him to give my contact information to our parents.
My parents reached out and asked for forgiveness. They said they never meant to harm me, but Meena had lied to them and convinced them of something that wasn’t true. I told them I held no grudge because they hadn’t known the truth. We spoke for about an hour.
The next day, I received a call from an unknown number. It was Meena.Her voice trembled as she spoke. I barely recognized her. “Please… just hear me out,” she pleaded. “I know I’m the last person you want to hear from, but I need to say this.”
I stayed silent.
She continued, “My daughter isn’t the same anymore. She’s been crying for days. She says she ruined your life. She’s broken. And me… I can’t stop thinking about what we did. I was wrong. I let anger and frustration cloud my judgment. I lied about something that completely destroyed your life.”
She begged me to speak with her daughter, saying the guilt was eating her alive. I still said nothing.
Then she began crying harder, pleading with me to forgive her daughter.
I didn’t respond. I ended the call and blocked her number.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive them.
Comments
Man, this is just messed up on so many levels. Definitely NTA here, bro. You had every right to hold onto your hard-earned cash. What they did was plain slander – basically torpedoing your life for their own personal gain. Horrific.
Them confessing doesn’t erase the pain they’ve caused. Forgiveness isn’t owed, it’s earned. You’re not obliged to forgive or reconnect, mate. Keep ur head up and keep doing you. Hope things get better for u, man. Y’know what they say, “Karma always comes around.”
Its a long read but Man… I’m sorry you went through that. That type of betrayal cuts deep, it was calculated, malicious, and they knew it would ruin your life. You don’t owe them a single word. They burned every bridge and salted the ground, you don’t have to forgive them if you are not ready to. NTA
Bro, that’s mad rough. No kid should be used as ammo in her parents’ war, but yr folks? They shoulda known better than to blindly trust a liar against their own blood. IMO it’s hella brave u blocked her, shows self-respect. Forgiveness ain’t always the badge of honor ppl make it out to be, especially when it keeps toxic folks in your life. Hoping u find some peace outta this chaos, man. 🙏✌️
NTA
Nta of course. Get some therapy, you moved to Germany for a new life, go get your new life.
She wasn’t sorry because she repented, she was sorry because her daughter confessed and therefore she was caught.
In other words she was only sorry that she was caught.
Perhaps they have grown as a person, perhaps they’re still the same. Actions speak louder though, what actions have they taken to clear your name? If the answer is none, than you owe them none. In all die honesty, you don’t need to apologize to them, you need to forgive yourself though.
Forgive yourself and find a way to move on, through therapy, reaching out and making new friends, what have you.
Keep everything documented, especially those apologies, who knows if they’ll decide to deny it tomorrow after feeling like they’ve been insulted by not being forgiven.
You’re NTA.
NTA. But tell them until they tell EVERY SINGLE PERSON who found out about their lies that they LIED to extort money from you and forced their daughter to lie, this includes:
Then you have nothing to discuss.
Honestly, I would sue them for defamation, emotional distress and loss of earnings.
I also wouldn’t be so quick to forgive my parents. They abandoned you when you needed them the most. The only one I would be in touch with is my brother. The rest can go suck a bunch of rocks..
Simple they hand over the daughter. Traditionally isn’t that how this is handled if they can’t pay money? If she’s a smart girl, maybe she gets in a good German university. Arranged marriage solves a few problems.
As for the family, apologize, as a predator you’re worried you might do something or be recognized and bring them shame… it’s better if you don’t associate with them.
Legally, what they did is not just immoral it’a a crime. False accusations ruin lives and often go unpunished. You have every right to feel the way you do.
I’m really sorry that you had to experience all of this. Please try to move on, make new friends, and focus on living your best life. People like that aren’t worth your emotions, and you shouldn’t let some foolish individuals keep you from enjoying life and connecting with others.
Literally the worst thing you can do to a man is to falsely accuse him of sexual assault. You did the right thing by blocking her. I personally would’ve looked for ways to punish her as well, because after all these disgusting accusations that destroyed your reputation and work, she entirely left unharmed herself, like nothing happened. And now she is crying on her phone, playing the victim. Unless she tells every single one of your contacts that she is a liar and intentionally wanted to destroy your life, don’t bother replying
I’m sorry to hear that. It sounds like you’ve gone through hell. Your anger is absolutely justified at your cousin. However you shouldn’t hold the child responsible for the sins of the parent. It sounds like your second cousin has grown up into a fine young woman who wants to reconnect after having been manipulated by her mother.
Beyond that, you should probably seek some professional help from a qualified therapist. It sounds like you need it to help you open up to trusting others again.
I’m just processing what I read and wtf are you okay?
This is super messed up you are definitely NTA
Nta do not respond build a successful life, let them drown in their shame and guilt.
You don’t have to forgive them, but as well as clearing your name with everyone concerned, including your employer and police, they should pay restitution. Lost income from the job you were fired from. Expenses of moving to Germany. Lawyers’ fees from your defence.
Figure out how much it all cost you and demand restitution. Let them pay it off monthly if necessary. If they won’t, sue the shit out of them.
NTA
I would tell your parents, since Meena had them convinced and probably gave Meena your number, to tell Meena and her husband to go to the police and confess their lies to set the record straight. Meena and her husband would have taken their lies to their graves if it weren’t for their daughter confessing.
Meena and her husband are sorry because their daughter‘s life is now destroyed not because they truly feel sorry for destroying your life. She called because she needed something from you. She caused her daughter’s trauma, she needs to take responsibility and help her daughter to heal.
You can also not discount the fact that Meena, her husband and daughter may be up to another scheme. Her daughter would be finishing her undergraduate degree soon and i can see them asking you somewhere down the road to help her attend postgraduate university in Germany as a way of showing all is forgiven.
NTA, you decide when you want to forgive, and even if you do, it does not mean it is forgotten. Your mental well being should be your main concern, if keeping them blocked is what works best for you, you should do so.
So your cousin felt entitled to your money and when you politely declined, they accused you of be most despicable thing ever…which ruined your career and reputation so bad you had to move away and now 3yrs later they want forgiveness?…. What if you didn’t have the opportunity to relocate? What if you were jailed?
Will the apology remove your years of trauma? Or your ability to trust and live freely?
Please cut out everyone except your brother who stood by you and go for therapy, you are better off without them
“She says she ruined you life.” Well you know what? She did.
Honestly mother and daughter deserve to be eaten by guilt. They destroyed your life. Took your family and friends away from you and just watched everything around you burn.
Now that the people know, that you are not guilty they are sorry. I think mother and daughter are not really sorry for doing it for you but sorry becuase their lies came out and now the family probably hates them.
“They forces their daughter to go along.” Yeah, I don’t believe that she was “forced”. With 19 years you know how bad a lie lile that it. Sje could have stopped all of this years ago.
Neither mother nor daughter deserve forgivness.
NTA
Idk but my brother is in the same situation my father younger sibling is unemployed and he used his 8 y/o ( that time she’s 10 now) and falsely accused my brother for SA and demanded money he put the case in under POSCO but now he comes to know he can’t take the case back as POSCO is very big claim…my father refused to give him any my grand parents helped my uncle in this we used to live in same house but in 2024 Nov 08 we moved in rental society…now they have occupied our lands saying we ran off taking their money my father had filled the case we’re not backing off now…Uncle even tried to murder my father and brother when they were going court for the hearing as his daughter must have said something wrong in court that got him in trouble she’s a kid after all….and today is one case of hearing.
I hope you’re ok ik what you must have gone through my brother was just 17 when this started and we lost many things all my father side relatives and my grandparents my father is a very emotional person he really cried like a baby….and he’s still hurt but refused to back down.
This is far too messed up man. You have every right to cut contacts with them.
And definitely NTA at all.
NTA. They screwed up your life for selfish reasons
If this is true its so horrible and I’m sorry but I’m also pretty sure this exact story (even the now living in Germany part) was posted long ago?
Some things are unforgivable.
They intentionally ruined your life because you didn’t pay for their daughter’s University. They are lucky you didn’t sue them for everything they have and everything they will have and garnish their wages for a very long time.
NTA.
Forgive them? Fuck that! Take them to court, sue them for everything they got that you can take. And then some. Your family? So-called friends? Dead to you. Sorry about the mess you’re in, but sadly, it really is that easy for someone else to fuck your whole life up maliciously. Make them pay, with absolutely no forgiveness forthcoming whatsoever.
NTA.
Meena isn’t the one who came forward. She was willing to let this go on forever.
If her daughter hadn’t spoken up most likely nobody would have known the truth.
There’s no reason to forgive Meena.
She’s probably upset because everyone is mad at her, and hoping to use you to get them to forgive her for lying.
Yours is one of the saddest, most tragic stories I’ve ever come across on Reddit, and boy is that saying something 😞
I am a Christian, and I know that Christians should forgive those who have wronged them. But the wrong that your cousin and her family inflicted on you was so deep and the wound so painful that if I had been in your shoes, I can’t honestly say that I could forgive.
I hope that for your OWN sake, someday you will be able to forgive them. But nobody, NOBODY has the right to insist that you do. After all, you were not just wronged. You were traumatized, literally traumatized.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could slap the living daylights out of your cousin and her husband.
If I were you I wouldn’t even talk to my parents, doesn’t matter if they knew the truth or not. And you better not forgive the rest. They are only reaching out because now their own shame and guilt are eating them alive. And even if you forgive them there is no guarantee they will publicly declare that they lied, they will try to save face in the social and be like “at least the family knows, who cares what others think”
The names aren’t the only fake thing about this story.
NTA. What they did was and is pure evil. Also, these people have shown you what they are capable of doing. And your family (except your brother) won’t support you. What will they do the next time you say no to their demands?
I’d keep the conversation going OVER EMAIL and when they’re dumb enough to put this in writing if be pressing charges for falsely reporting to police and also for defamation as this affected your reputation and your ability to earn money.
I’d also demand a huge public apology but basically I’d burn their worlds to the ground
Contact a lawyer about how to handle the slander
Sure. You’ll forgive them if all three of them have themselves arrested for fraud and extortion.
They need to pay restitution for every penny you lost. They need to pay your brother back for the attorney he hired.
When all of that is done, then still don’t forgive them.
NTA. I hope you’re going to sue them for defamation and loss of income and return them the favour. Also hope you can heal and find happiness in Germany and buy a house you love. And if anyone in your family is still talking to or has anything to do with that cousin, you should cut them off.
Disgusting. Meena, Rajiv & their daughter. They ruined your life, your reputation over money. Pathetic people. And still, idiots say false accusations aren’t real. NTA. Never forgive them.
NTA – you might forgive your Cousin, definately aunt and uncle. That was so evil.
I am not even sure, if I would forgive my parents that easily.
NTA! I’m curious if they have set the record straight with law enforcement, your former job, your former friends, etc?Have they made any attempt to clear your name to the masses? Seems they are hoping for maximum forgiveness with minimal effort! In my opinion this is one of those UNFORGIVABLE things. While I believe in second chances I also believe in CONSEQUENCES! They can’t “I’m sorry” their way out of this! The time to speak up was back then and their lame apology DOES NOTHING but help THEM heal! I’d remind Meena (only if you feel like it) that her daughter was an adult when she made these accusations so she holds the same responsibility! If the daughter is struggling she and her husband can look no further than a mirror to see who is responsible and who should work at helping to fix it. Forgiveness is for YOU! Not them. For your own sake maybe get some therapy to work through your feelings and come out the other side of this stronger but you owe nothing to anyone! Especially the family that so easily turned their backs on you! NTA and good luck!
NTA
No. They don’t deserve forgiveness. Ever. Not ever.