I (18m) and my girlfriend (17f) had been together for almost two years. A few weeks ago, we broke up for a multitude of reasons on both sides. Despite this, we agreed to try and be friends as we are in the same social group.
Nearing her birthday in December, I saw that one of our favorite bands were playing locally this coming August. To surprise her, I bought us tickets as a birthday present, they cost around £250 ($335). As you can imagine, this is a lot of money for somebody of my age.
Cut to a few days ago, she asked me when i would give her the tickets so that she and her sister could go. I told her that I still wanted to go and didn’t want to give them away. She got very upset at this and hasn’t talked to me since.
Should I still give her the tickets or is there another solution to come up with?
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I (18m) and my girlfriend (17f) had been together for almost two years. A few weeks ago, we broke up for a multitude of reasons on both sides. Despite this, we agreed to try and be friends as we are in the same social group.
Nearing her birthday in December, I saw that one of our favorite bands were playing locally this coming August. To surprise her, I bought us tickets as a birthday present, they cost around £250 ($335). As you can imagine, this is a lot of money for somebody of my age.
Cut to a few days ago, she asked me when i would give her the tickets so that she and her sister could go. I told her that I still wanted to go and didn’t want to give them away. She got very upset at this and hasn’t talked to me since.
Should I still give her the tickets or is there another solution to come up with?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- I refused to give my ex girlfriend concert tickets that i had bought her as a birthday gift whilst we were still together
2- I bought it for her and her birthday had passed whilst we were still together, so maybe i should still let her have the tickets
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. That’s a GF type of gift. You could offer her the opportunity to buy them off you maybe.
NTA I literally can’t think of a single reason why you would give her the tickets?
YTA if you outright keep them since you’re trying to stay in the same circle. If that’s still the plan you should offer to go with her.
[deleted]
NTA. You’re keeping them bc you want to go not bc you’re trying to spite her.
Nope.
NTA
You’re not together anymore and you hadn’t given her the tickets yet when you were.
I would also assume the tickets were initially for you and her, so demanding your ticket for her sister is entirely unreasonable.
Take a friend with you and enjoy the show.
NTA. Sounds to me like she can buy her own tickets or pay you for the tickets. But she is super entitled and a narcissist and won’t offer anything only demand.
Just to confirm, the tickets were purchased as a present for her previous birthday back in December, right?
If so, it would be pretty shitty to keep them now – you’d basically be taking back a gift, in which case YWBTA
That said, as you had purchased two tickets with the intention of attending yourself as well, its not particularly reasonable of her to expect you to hand both of them over
You should give her her ticket, it was your gift to her – regarding the second ticket, you need to have an adult conversation about it
You said that you’d agreed to try and remain friendly, in which case attending together is still an option, alternatively she can buy the second ticket from you if she wants to go with her sister
NTA. You should give her one of the tickets, but you didn’t gift 2 of them to her. If you guys are still friends, you could go together since that was the original plan. Probably too late for that though.
NTA, unless you had agreed to still give her her ticket. Sounds like the original intention was to go together, so it’s a bit presumptuous to assume you would just give her both tickets when you aren’t even a couple anymore.
imo, if you had told her on her birthday that you had gotten her the ticket – ybwta for then refusing to give the ticket to her. ONLY the ticket that you purchased for her, I don’t think she’s entitled to the one you bought for yourself.
Cut ties. Take a friend to the concert.
NTA! You broke up so you keep them.
If you have given them to her as a gift as her boyfriend, the expectations are you are going together.So at best she gets her ticket.
If you gave her the tickets with no expectation of going, she gets both tickets, at the time of gifting you had no expectation of a break up.
NTA… She ain’t going with her sister. Lol.
Spending £250 on an ex at 18 is insanity.
I hope your parents are rich.
Don’t try and coerce her to go to the concert with you. You can get her a normal gift and invite someone else. Or take the financial loss and give the tickets away.
YTA. You brought the tickets as a present for you two to go together. She should only get one ticket the other is yours. If she wants to take her sister she can buy it off you or just accept the fact that she’ll be going and you will be too.
NTA. You paid for the tickets, they are yours. You *could* sell both to her but if you want to go and take another friend, that is entirely your right. Is she wanted the tickets, and knew you bought them, she should have offered to buy them back when you broke up. Her assuming you’d not only give them to her for free but give her both is absurd. If you are considering selling them to her, do make sure you look up current resale prices, they may be worth far more now. Those are your tickets, period.
Don’t listen to these idiots, ynta
NTA. She only has ONE ticket, not two since you bought them as a pair. If her sister wants to go she should either buy her own ticket or buy you out
YTA for giving a gift in Dec and taking it back because you broke up. Would you have done the same with a physical object like a piece of jewelry? No. Because then you would be an AH. A ticket to a show is no different.
You should at minimum give her the ticket that was for her but the classy thing would be to give her both.
NTA. You paid for those tickets when you were a couple. Which you are not, anymore. She is not entitled to anything from you. Those tickets are yours. She doesn’t get to demand them for her, and her sister, when it comes from you. (Example) That’d be like her making you give her the Christmas present you bought for her, even tho you broke up December 17th. It doesn’t work that way. The only reason she should get the tickets is if she wants to buy both of them from you
All bets are off now you’ve broken up. But if one was her birthday gift for her last birthday, I could see her wanting that. But the second one is definitely yours. You could sell it to her for her sister. How much are these tickets going for now so close to the concert? (Yes, I know scalping is wrong 😇) NTA
NTA.
That is a large sum of money even for me at my advanced age, and would have been an enormous amount when I was 18 years old and on minimum wage. It would represent many weeks of saving.
It was, and is, an amount that I would only spend on someone I am very close to. An ex partner does not fall into that category.
Since you have already bought the tickets, and presumably you still want to go yourself, what you MAY want to consider doing if you wish to keep her as a friend is to go see the band with her anyway, even though she is not your girlfriend any more. That way it would still be her belated birthday present.
I have often gone to an event or place with an ex-partner even though there is zero romantic interest between us any more. I did that because we still had a shared interest in music or art or theater or whatever, an interest I didn’t share with anyone else, and would otherwise have to go alone. (I don’t buy their ticket for them, though – we each pay for our own.)
Now, I predict commenters are going to jump on my comment and say “Why should he?”, so I will make it crystal clear: you would NOT be the asshole if you chose not to attend with her. It’s entirely up to you.
Given that she has responded with the silent treatment, you may decide you’d rather take someone else, or sell the second ticket. You have every right to do that. But personally, I’d cut her a little slack for being upset and not talking to you, because I know she is disappointed, and she’s only 17 and every disappointment is the end of the world.
That doesn’t make her entitled to the ticket, though, and it most certainly doesn’t make her entitled to BOTH tickets and to take her sister instead of you.
If you’d already given them to her, then they are hers and YTA.
It sounds like her bday was in December and presumably, you told her about it then which be the time of gifting.
YTA if you already “gave” her the gift last December.
You can’t take back a gift just because you’re no longer dating this person without being an asshole. One ticket is yours because you were going together, but the other is hers.
NTA if she didn’t have possession of them at the time of the break up you dont owe anyone anything.
If anything one ticket is hers as a gift. She can always buy the other ticket for her sister. However to expect both is a little bit entitled.
Wait, it was her birthday present back in December and you still hadn’t given it to her? Were you holding onto them just in case you guys broke up before the concert or something? Kind of sounds like you planned for this and stole from her. YTA
NTA, being friends isn’t gonna work
NTA. You haven’t given them to her yet, so they are still yours. I wouldn’t be dropping $100+ dollars on an ex no matter how good of friends we still were.
You say you are still friends. Go together. As friends. This isn’t rocket science.
NTA – go enjoy the event. You owe her nothing.
definitely NTA. she’s TA if she expects an expensive gift after a break up. And no, I wouldn’t offer her a ticket. Why would you want to spend the evening with her at this point?
Nta not sure how friendly you guys are but the nice thing to do would’ve been y’all go together as friends. That way she still got her bday present and you don’t feel cheated out of your money. But you aren’t required to give her the ticket if y’all broke up.
ESH
You bought each of you a ticket. That is, one ticket is for you and the other was for her.
Your change in relationship status since then doesn’t change that – one of the tickets was for her. You don’t get to keep it because your relationship ended.
But this works both ways – the other ticket was yours. She doesn’t get to claim that ticket which was never intended to be hers.
The best thing to do is to give her HER ticket, and do whatever you like with YOUR ticket.
They arre your tickets, find a friend to good with you.
She’s not your friend and prob using you
NTA.
It’s good that she’s mad at you. Let her stay mad, it’ll keep you having a clean break.
ESH. If you have her a ticket as a present, you should follow through on that. You should still go using the other ticket. She’s entitled thinking she should get both tickets
Imo it depends on whether or not she was told of the intention that the tickets were for her and you, not her and a plus one of her choosing.
So, for her birthday you bought her concert tickets. You told her about the concert tickets – essentially gifting them without handing them over cuz logistics – but you decided since you broke up that they’re not hers anymore.
I dunno, man. That’s an AH move. You just retroactively didn’t give her a birthday present. Once gifted, a gift belongs to the recipient.
In the future, maybe don’t buy tickets for future events for partners if youre not prepared for the breakup to precede the event. Most people would just accept that the tickets had already been gifted and moved on.
I think she is owed her ticket. Once you gifted it to her it was hers. If you want to go with her, then go with her. If that’s awkward, maybe be open to selling her the other ticket and you can use that money towards a different ticket to the same event.
YTA a little bit. You’re young, it’ll get less emotional as time goes on.
NTA. Don’t give her the ticket if you paid for it. Go enjoy the show.
NTA buy something else for her (if you want) and you take someone else to see the band.
NTA. People don’t usually give big gifts to their exes.
NTA. However, if you truly want to remain friends, she could buy the tickets from you.
YTA. You gave her the tickets as a birthday present. They are hers to do with as she pleases. Yeah, you spent too much money on a high-school girlfriend, but that’s not her fault.
NTA Hell no, she gets nothing.
YTA, but it’s a timing issue.
You already “gave” her the gift in December and only broke up a few weeks ago.