My brother passed away 3 months ago. He had a German Shepherd named Max, who he loved like a child. After his death, I took Max in because he and I were super close—I dog-sat him often, and Max is very attached to me.
Now his widow (34F) suddenly wants Max back, saying he’s “all she has left of him.” But she never liked Max and used to complain that my brother spent more time with the dog than her. I honestly think she just wants the attention and sympathy.
I told her no. Max is happy, safe, and loved here. She’s furious and says I’m being heartless.
AITA for keeping the dog?
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My brother passed away 3 months ago. He had a German Shepherd named Max, who he loved like a child. After his death, I took Max in because he and I were super close—I dog-sat him often, and Max is very attached to me.
Now his widow (34F) suddenly wants Max back, saying he’s “all she has left of him.” But she never liked Max and used to complain that my brother spent more time with the dog than her. I honestly think she just wants the attention and sympathy.
I told her no. Max is happy, safe, and loved here. She’s furious and says I’m being heartless.
AITA for keeping the dog?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the ahole because I refused to give Max, my late brother’s dog, to his widow, even though she says it’s all she has left of him. Maybe I’m being selfish or letting my emotions get in the way of her grief.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. if she didn’t even like the dog when ur brother was alive, why suddenly care now? sounds like she’s tryna play the grieving widow card for sympathy. max is better off w someone who actually loves him.
NTA if yours is genuinely the better home, but you’d better do your research because she may have a legal claim to him that you do not. Animals are “property” under the law and so she may still legally “own” him. Did she originally say you could take him, and if so do you have proof of that? What do your local laws say? Where I live, once you have an animal for 6 months the animal becomes legally yours. With any luck, in your area that period of time is shorter. Good luck. I hope you get to keep him, and thanks for not dumping him in the shelter like a lot of families do after a death.
How is this even a question lol. Of course YTA. It’s not your dog. Yea, your brother’s wife was going through some stuff for the past 3 months – that’s kind of expected. Give the dog back.
YTA, unless your brother actually bequeathed you Max, it sounds very much like you are rationalizing stealing him from his home and owner.
Mild YTA because of the fact that you might love the dog, but the dog was his, and that means the dog was his property. And unless there’s a will that states that you get the dog upon his death, his wife/widow gets his property.
Give her the dog. I bet within a month or three she’ll be giving him back. Legally, she can make this an issue, so why bother going that route.
NAH. My late husband had a German Shepherd. It was definitely HIS dog, and the dog accepted me as part of the pack, but had bonded primarily with my husband. After he died, the dog and I developed an incredible bond and spent many years together. I think you and your brother’s widow need to talk calmly about this. Can you figure out a way to share the dog somehow? Can she have “visitation”?
So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself as you grieve
Sounds like you’re both lonely and missing your brother, I’m sorry.
She technically owns the dog. Maybe she’d be willing to share him with you? I know some people that share their dog, they go every other week.
Grief is weird. Please don’t resent her for this.
YTA
Sympathy and attention from who exactly? The dog? This is such a gross way to talk about someone.
If it was your brother’s dog, then it’s her dog. How did Max come to be in your possession anyway? Was there a discussion about his ownership or care at that point?