My pregnant friend visited recently and loved my pillows which i bought for about 50€ each. After she went home, she asked where I got them, but when she went to check, the store didn’t have them anymore. I suggested Amazon or Ikea where similar ones go for about 70€, but she complained they were too expensive.
Then she told me I should send her mine since she’s pregnant and I should “feel sorry” for her. I refused and told her to ask her husband to buy them. She said he already did, but they weren’t as comfortable as mine. I doubled down and still refused. She got annoyed and said: “Fine then… use your pillows and we’ll see if that changes anything in your head.” I laughed it off but her statement hurt me a bit.
Later she texted me saying I was selfish for not giving them to her, and that since I was recently pregnant myself I should “know bbetter.She went on to say she has been having difficulties sleeping because of the pillows in her house and that mine were very comfortable for her. I ignored the message, but I’ll admit I’m torn between feeling guilty and standing firm on my decision.
For context: she’s very demanding. She once forgot her headphones at my place and insisted I mail them to her immediately, even though she had spares at home. I did it without complaint. But whenever I ask her for help or something from her, she always “forgets.”
So… AITA for not giving up my pillows?
Comments
No, she could have asked nicely but she really didn’t. It would be one thing if she said “I hate to ask but honestly they are the only thing that feels comfortable” but she was super rude about it.
When did pregnancy start being a disability where people should coddle you and give you whatever you want? NTA.
Why are you friends with someone like this?
No, it’s not life or death, I understand that hormones make people weird but it really doesn’t matter. Also bathe them in your personal perfume (pregnant women tend to be disgusted by perfumes).
Wtf? No, NTA. Your friend sounds like an AH.
> She got annoyed and said: “Fine then… use your pillows and we’ll see if that changes anything in your head.”
That’s messed up.
NTA. Set appropriate boundaries with people. She doesn’t treat you as she’d expect to be treated, so how is this even a friendship. Grey rock her and slowly fade out.
I wouldn’t text her back. I wouldn’t respond. If there’s something that brings you back to being closer together, cool. If not, you are really better off. Sometimes it’s better to let some people fade away.
NTA I know pregnancy hormones can mess with your head but no reasonable person would demand that you give them your pillows. Your friend is an AH!!
You should have just offered a swap. “Oh your great grandma’s necklace is nice, give it to me, for the pillows”
This pregnant lady sounds like she’s not actually your friend
That’s ridiculous of her.
NTA, but what makes you think she is your friend?
Unless you made her pregnant you don’t have to feel bad about it. NTA
You’re NTA. Her being pregnant or uncomfortable is not your fault nor is it your responsibility to remedy. Being pregnant doesn’t entitle you to other ppls belongings. You didn’t get her pregnant! The man who DID needs to be the one to buy her the pillows. She’s better save all that frustration & give it to her husband whom she’s actually ALLOWED to “guilt trip” … who gets upset and throws a tantrum over an item that doesn’t belong to them?! You can feel sorry for her all u want but that doesn’t entitle her to something you spent your own money on. Not your monkey not your zoo. She isn’t your responsibility. She’s just gonna have to stay mad. The stores were fresh out of pillows so she bought the audacity instead 💀💀
NTA. Why does your friend think being knocked up entitles her to your household items. I’d tell her to knob off.
NTA at all! She is pregnant and more than capable of finding her own pillows. The whole relationship sounds exhausting, I would be starting to distance myself if I was you. Once she has the baby she is going to ask you for your baby items and get annoyed you won’t give her those too.
We sweat, drool, and shed skin onto our pillows…. Wanting someone to send you their used pillows is yucky lol
NTA.
She sounds like a spoiled brat who is used to being able to charm or guilt everyone into whatever she wants.
I am wondering if it was one of those special pregnancy pillows? The kind to support your back?
NTA. That is strange behavior.
NTA wtf? I guess someone’s home now became a showroom where guests can just help themselves to free stuff? Entitled af. Find a new friend op.
Why are you friends with this person?
NTA. This is not a friend. Never let her into your home again – she’ll take what she wants.
OMG. She is already playing the victim for simply being pregnant. Give me a break.
NTA..
She’s not your friend.
Block her.
Dump her. She doesn’t respect you or even like you. You’re just someone she can use and boss around. Why would you want to be friends with someone like her.
NTA. Your friend isn’t owed your pillows because she’s pregnant, good Lord. Hormones or not, she sounds exhausting.
I’m literally a few days away from being 9 months pregnant and I’m appalled. NTA why are you friends with this person?
Your “friend” is the most narcissistic selfish person I have ever heard about. I personally wouldn’t even give her the time of day
She’s not your friend. Move on from her
Block her and move on. She is ridiculous.
You need better friends. Pregnancy doesn’t cause bad behavior.
If it was true she needed those pillows, she would have bought them at any price.
She is playing a messed up game — with your pillows as the trophy.
Go NC forever
NTA. You have no responsibility for her pregnancy, so she can pound sand and buy her own damn pillows
NTA. She’s only your friend when it benefits her. She’s selfish and trying to bully you. Stand firm and let her know she is crossing boundaries.
NTA . Tell her you’re not her personal bank or anything else . She must cough up of she wants something. So freaking entitled .she’s not the first to be pregnant nor is she the last .
Yikes. NTA but why are you friends with this … person? Are you really that hard up for companionship?
No, you’re not. She is so full of herself that she thinks she can demand that you give her the pillows that you bought for yourself. I’m not even sure how you (or anyone) can call her a friend. I wouldn’t!
NTA. She sounds exhausting.
Do NOT give her those pillows. She’s ridiculously entitled.
NTA. Pillows aren’t a shareable item unless it is with your spouse or child. I even take my own to hotels. She can purchase them herself.
How entitled is she? Why are you friends again? 🤔
NTA and I think it was really mean and cheeky of her to say that to you
Your friend would no longer be my friend TBH.
I’d be telling her where she could go and what to do with the pillows when she got there.
Why are you friends with a leech?
You need a new friend.
She’s having a baby, not getting her dying wish granted. Your friend is an entitled asshole.
No, you have no obligation to give her your stuff.
Ew, you need a better friend.
Why are you her friend? She sounds aggravating.
She’s not your friend, just a user. And using pregnancy to get her own way. You do not give her your pillows. You SHOULD NOT give her your pillows. Go LC or NC and find better friends. Sheesh.
She CHOOSE to get pregnant. Your friend is acting pretty entitled.
NTA
I’m a pillow hog.
I have eleven down pillows in my bed and I use every. single. one. I do not share them lol
She can buy her own! NTA
The entitlement is just mind boggling
She is insufferable. Trying to get into your head for that?!
Not a friendship I would be interested in, personally. I dislike manipulative people so badly.
I recently visited a friend and LOVED the mattress in the gust room. I think I will see if she will send it to me……NTA
Drop this person immediately they don’t sound like a friend just sound like bad news
I had a friend like this once until I got tired of it and quit that relationship. They would do things like demand I let them use my phone (off limits to EVERYONE, sorry), change my plans constantly, invite them to literally every thing I was doing, etc. Same person who ‘forgot’ to repay money I lent them, etc., etc., and many many other things. Sounds like it’s time for this friend to by an ex friend. That is just so weird!! I like the thing you have, GIVE IT TO MEEEE. WTF??
That is not a friend but an entitled sour crotch. Block that entitled sour crotch!!!!!
NTA, shes not your friend.
I’ve left stuff in whole other states and just got it back whenever or replaced it because I’m an adult and it’s my job to remember my stuff. If I cant find something I admire at a friend’s place then I get over it.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
I’ll say something women seem to HATE.
You are fucking pregnant, not disabled. About 36,000 women give birth every single DAY. You are not special, and you are not ENTITLED special consideration from any persons but your partner who helped get you pregnant. Especially not someone else’s possessions.
She’s a leech!
Pregnant or not pregnant how do you go into somebody’s house and demand their furnishings!
“Hey I like your TV, I’m pregnant. Can I have your TV?
My TV doesn’t have such a depth of color as yours, so I’m gonna need your TV. Can you send it over please?”
Where do people get such a sense of entitlement from?
As long as you are not the person who impregnated her, her care and comfort are not your problem. She has a Husband.
NTA
That’s one gutsy friend! Enjoy another guilt-free good night’s sleep on your pillows!
NTA Never in my life have I informed anyone that they should just outright give me their personal possessions simply because I wanted them. I wouldn’t have spoken to my own closest relatives that way, much less a friend. Where do people get this audacity?
Fake story.
NTA
She chose to be pregnant & that doesn’t entitle her to just getting other people’s possessions for free!! Wow, did they have a sale for entitlement at the dollar store & she bought them out??? Keep your pillows & tell her to shop around for some… I can’t imagine you have the ONLY comfortable pillows in the world…
Why are you choosing to remain friends with someone so entitled…?
Your “friend” sounds like an entitled B. Being pregnant doesn’t give her the right to demand your pillows. Stick to your guns. Let her find her own. Some people have all the audacity.
Why are you friends with her is the real question you should be asking. She is entitled. Your last part suggests that this relationship is more of a strain and isn’t worth it. Just end it-tell her you don’t appreciate the way you treat her and that it is best to go your separate ways.
NTA. How could you possibly be? Why are you even asking? Tell your “friend” that the only person to feel sorry for her being pregnant is the person who got her pregnant.
Wait. Pregnancy automatically entitles you to other people’s things? How did I miss this? Why wasn’t I informed of this important information? 😯
Kidding aside, NTA OP. That woman is ridiculous.
Haha no, NTA. You don’t even need to ask. Demanding other peoples’ belongings is beyond rude. Your home is not a mail order service warehouse.
NTA, unless you somehow are responsible for her getting pregnant. 😉
NTA, and after your friend has her baby for a year and is used to falling asleep wherever and whenever it’s possible, you can turn to her and be like “Say, remember that time you insisted you really needed my specific pillows? Seems funny now, right?”
If this drives you to the internet for support you need massive fucking help
NTA, you didn’t knock her up so her being pregnant is nowhere close to your problem.
Yikes! What does she bring to the friendship?
It would be one thing if she asked to borrow one but GIVE? No
NTA I would totally give my pillows to my pregnant friend out of kindness, but… not if she started demanding them
NTA I’m currently 9.5 months pp so I still remember being pregnant. I would NOT even ask this in the first place ??? I mean I’d ask where she got them but that’s it bc how entitled do you have to be. And then to not reciprocate when it comes to you needing something? Sounds like a shitty friend and you might have been a bit of a push over in the past which is why she thinks you’ll give in
AI written?
Do ya mean x-friend?
NTA.. Keep the pillows and ditch the entitled friend.
My pregnancies were rough, to the point of an abortion and then later on I ultimately decided to get sterilized to remove the risk of (naturally induced) pregnancy entirely. Yes, pregnancy sucks, but you have no obligation to be excessively nice just because someone is pregnant.
The closest I could see is maybe if she’d asked to borrow them during the pregnancy, but, again, you’re under absolutely 0 obligation.
Absolutely NTA. It isn’t like you caused the pregnancy in a situation where your friend was unable to become unpregnant – then you’d be the AH. Pregnancy (generally) inherently sucks, so if the father isn’t willing to help lessen the shit show, he’d be the asshole.
No you’re not. She’s not entitled to any of your things or any actions from you just because she is pregnant. Any relationship (platonic or romantic) needs to have boundaries which should be respected by both of the parties. She is not respecting yours and she is comfortable doing so because you don’t hold her accountable. You’re being a doormat if you let her keep walking over your boundaries. Take a step back from this friendship and take a look on how even/mutually beneficial this friendship is. Does she go out of her way the same way you do (e.g. headphones)? Does she support you the same way you support her? If not reconsider being friends. When the only thing she does is make you feel bad about yourself or your actions then it might be time to cease contact/distance yourself.
Block her. She is so entitled and exhausting.
Pregnancy is a disability? Tell that to the health care industry. When I was pregnant with my kids I was working in a hospital on a very busy unit. Along with 3 other pregnant nurses. We still turned patients. Pulled them up in bed. Transferred them. All registered nurses. Yes we could get light duty if our OB signed off on that. But we just kept on going. Ignore your entitled friend. She sounds very annoying. And we all delivered healthy babies.
Why are you entertaining her demands? She can search for pillows if the ones are too expensive for her.
You have been pregnant before so you know that she is capable of being the adult that requires her to be as she enters motherhood.
NTA. Your friend sounds stuck-up and very toxic. Maybe re-evaluate whether this is a healthy friendship for you.
Text her in the morning and rave about how well you’ve been sleeping on your pillows.
NTA but friend is. Just because OP has something and the friend is lacking said item it doesn’t mean OP has to give it to her. What are we In kindergarten? As an adult things you purchase are yours. Your friend can covet your items but OP would be the AH if she didn’t give her places that sell the items.
I hate when people think they can go shopping in your home and take what they want or bully you into giving it to them. The only time this is acceptable is when it’s your children and they raid the pantry, fridge, freezer, and take it all home. They usually ask too.
Why are you friends with this person? They sound exhausting. No not the A.
NTA. She decided to get pregnant, she should know being a mom isn’t cheap by now. She can buy her own pillows.
And this would be true even if she were a great friend to you – the fact that this friendship is literally just her being demanding and unpleasant to you makes me wonder why you bother.