I (25F) love baking. It’s been my passion since I was a kid, and my grandma passed down a chocolate cake recipe that’s been in the family for generations. I’ve won small competitions with it, and even started a side business selling baked goods. Everyone in my family loves it, including my younger sister (22F).
My sister recently started trying to grow a following on TikTok for baking content, and while I’ve been supportive, she’s made a few passive-aggressive comments in the past about how “I make things too old-fashioned” or “People want trendy, not grandma’s kitchen.” I’ve always brushed it off.
Well… a few days ago, she made a TikTok video titled “Exposing My Sister’s Boring Bakery” where she sarcastically mocked my cake, called it “dry” (it’s not), said I “gatekeep,” and then ended with, “Anyway, when I finally get the recipe, I’ll fix it for her.” The video got more attention than anything she’s ever posted.
I was livid. I texted her and told her that was completely out of line. She said it was “just for content” and I was “taking it too seriously.” I told her she clearly didn’t respect me or my baking, so no, I wouldn’t be giving her the recipe. Ever.
Now my mom is saying I should just give it to her because “it’s family” and “she’s obviously jealous,” and that withholding it is “petty.” But my grandma specifically told me to protect it — and to only pass it down to someone who respects the tradition.
My sister is still making little jabs at me online, and I’m sticking to my decision. But now the family group chat is split.
AITA for refusing to give her the recipe?
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I (25F) love baking. It’s been my passion since I was a kid, and my grandma passed down a chocolate cake recipe that’s been in the family for generations. I’ve won small competitions with it, and even started a side business selling baked goods. Everyone in my family loves it, including my younger sister (22F).
My sister recently started trying to grow a following on TikTok for baking content, and while I’ve been supportive, she’s made a few passive-aggressive comments in the past about how “I make things too old-fashioned” or “People want trendy, not grandma’s kitchen.” I’ve always brushed it off.
Well… a few days ago, she made a TikTok video titled “Exposing My Sister’s Boring Bakery” where she sarcastically mocked my cake, called it “dry” (it’s not), said I “gatekeep,” and then ended with, “Anyway, when I finally get the recipe, I’ll fix it for her.” The video got more attention than anything she’s ever posted.
I was livid. I texted her and told her that was completely out of line. She said it was “just for content” and I was “taking it too seriously.” I told her she clearly didn’t respect me or my baking, so no, I wouldn’t be giving her the recipe. Ever.
Now my mom is saying I should just give it to her because “it’s family” and “she’s obviously jealous,” and that withholding it is “petty.” But my grandma specifically told me to protect it — and to only pass it down to someone who respects the tradition.
My sister is still making little jabs at me online, and I’m sticking to my decision. But now the family group chat is split.
AITA for refusing to give her the recipe?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> An action I took that should be judged is not giving my sister the family recipe. This might make me the A-hole because since she’s family she should get to know the family recipe.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, be petty and make that money, let her be a broke influencer
NTA- guess she can cry to her little following. Don’t give her the cake recipe!!!
This didn’t happen
NTA. Ignore your family. NEVER give the recipe to her
NTA. Sister is an adult not a child, this is childish behaviour. She needs to grow up. Your mother also needs to stay out of it, it’s nothing to do with her.
Keep the recipe, and demand an apology.
Disgusting behaviour from the sister.
NTA. She will likely exploit and share the recipe for content.
NTA x 1000
You could sue her for defamation (slander and libel), for making false statements that harm your business. She’s lucky that withholding the recipe is all you’re doing.
And she’s an idiot if she thinks “grandma’s kitchen” isn’t trendy. There’s tons of content about wartime cooking, depression era cooking, historic recipes, traditional home cooking, etc.
NTA
Giving it to her would be going against your gradmothers wishes.
Tell her if she she doesn’t like tradition, she needs to make up her own cake. And leave you alone
NTA. I’d give her snotty ass the recipe for a knuckle sandwich instead.
NTA.
Copy n paste one from the Internet 👍
NTA
She claims she is a better baker, right? So, she should be able to figure out the recipe herself.
oh, hell no. She’d get that recipe when pigs fly. Keep it under lock and key, and don’t let her have a key to your house.
Give her a generic recipe, just get one on the internet. Let her figure it out
Nope! No Way would I reward that BS!! Why do Mom’s seem to want to reward the BAD kid!! Grans would back you… she has no respect so she gets no recipe! And if she is just going to change it then she can concoct her own recipe. It is totally lame that she has no content other than s@;t talking you! She needs to grow up!! Not TA…
YTA for making up this boring dry story.
NTA. See if you can get her banned from TikTok. I’ve heard it has happened before.
Keep your grandma’s recipe safe. Tell Mom to keep her own peace since she likes being a doormat. Sis can go pound sand.
Isn’t this a repeat? People need to be more creative.
You mum says she’s jealous but give her the recipe anyway. So reward her for her bad behaviour? Don’t think so!
NTA I am so glad I never had a sister. Sorry you’re stuck with such crappy relatives.
If your mom is saying you should give it to her because “it’s family”, then why isn’t your mother also telling her not to ridicule you in public because “it’s family”?
Also, isn’t it “family” that your grandmother specifically told you not to share the recipe? Why is it family for one thing bu not the other?
And if your mother is making excuses for her behavior (like “she’s obviously jealous”) then why isn’t she also excusing your refusal to give her the recipe? Why doesn’t she just pass off your behavior in a similar way?
Your mother’s comments are ridiculous. I can see why your sister is the way she is. Seems like mom has been enabling her and setting her up to be entitled. Time to stop “brushing off” your siser’s behavior, OP. It’s not cool, mature, kind, or “family”.
Just give her a fake recipe. Done.
NTA – I just had an idea to turn it around. It’s
called the prove me wrong challenge. Use her content and play victim. Make a video like that recent house party video where the woman was bullied. Say there’s an online bully insulting your cake and ask people to try your cake and dispute her claims. Tell people you’ll give them a discount if they’re buying a cake to see if your sister is right.
It sounds as if your sister just got a dose of F**k Around And Find Out! 😂 Her bad! I don’t think you’re the AH! If she’s the better baker, then she can figure out a recipe for the people! She doesn’t need grandma’s recipe if she’s going to diss and disrespect it! Hold on to your grandmother’s legacy as long as you need to; she would be proud of you! You’re obviously doing something right if she wants it.
Well, grandma did say to only pass the recipe on to someone who respects the tradition, and sis did say your baking was boring and that, “people want trendy, not grandma’s kitchen.”
NTA. If sis’s baking is so great, then she should be able to come up with a recipe that’s better than grandma’s.
Sounds like your sister values your relationship to the tune of one not quite viral video.
And she doesn’t even want the recipe if she is planning on ‘fixing’ it.
NTA
Any story which includes the phrase “brushed it off” is fake.
NTA.
Why on earth does your sister want the recipe for a boring, old fashioned and dry chocolate cake?
Just make one up with extra baking powder (for taste lol) and give it to her.
Give her A recipe that is similar and “modern” and mess with the baking soda measurements, extra salt, less sugar…. NTA even if it was just for content it was rude.
I love to bake as well and have my grandma’s pie crust recipe, along others. She gave it to my mom, and my mom gave it to me and my SIL as the only ones of her descendants (grandma loved SIL and viewed her as her granddaughter) as the only one who respect the tradition involved, especially around the holidays and baking. All of this is too say that you are NTA for honoring the wishes of your grandmother.
Also, your sister’s jealousy and degradation of your grandmother through her videos treating her recipe as if it needs improvement is proof that she doesn’t deserve it! As the adage says, “the proof is in the pudding.” Or in this case the cake!
NTA your sister played a stupid game
NTA. It’s not OK to lie about people, and/or put them down, “for content.” And she’s disrespecting the recipe as well as you. You are right to respect yourself and your grandmother and refuse to give her the recipe.
Do not give it to her!!
NTA. Keep it and protect it. I’m petty af though, so I’d probably give her “the recipe”, but maybe change a few ingredients or the amounts.
NTA. That’s not being petty, it’s being well justified. If you want to be petty, give her a fake recipe that would become the WORST THING she ever tasted. And be sure to get it on camera too. Now let’s see who’s the worse baker. 😂
But in all seriousness, NTA. Your sister’s a jerk, and she doesn’t deserve that recipe if she’s going to disrespect you and still expect some reward for badmouthing you on TikTok of all the places.
Why do people have family group chats? What is wrong with you people?
Anyway, NTA, no contact, the standard kit.
YTA
Urgh, is there a library of fake stories that are just recycled all the time? Read this one before, with a few tweaks.
NTA Give her fake recipe (as one closest to grandma’s) maybe something of the web.
See what she does with it.
NTA but I’m deliciously petty. Find the most tragic chocolate cake recipe on the internet 💁 the kind that crumbles like broken dreams. Dry, tasteless, an absolute disaster. Change it just enough to look original. And whatever you do, rearrange the ingredients 🤏 because that little detective will go digging. Let her bake her own downfall.🎉🎊
NTA. Write up a fake recipe, make grandmas cake in the kitchen while the recipe is there for ‘reference’.
Enjoy
No such tiktok exists. YTA for this boring drivel.
Soooo…. Let’s break this down into simple east to follow chunks… well we only we need one chunk that’s hard to swallow here… OPs mom watched several Tick Tok videos dissing her mother, her daughter and the family chocolate cake recipe but comes out on the side of the daughter doing the dissing. I’m guessing her mother didn’t give her the recipe either.
If grandma had wanted her to have the family recipe she’d have given it to both of you. NTA
So this is a ‘family recipe’ that your grandmother did not give to her own child? Did not teach her own child to make? Did not share it with siblings or niblings? Did not give to all her grandchildren but only you?
BS. The whole story is BS, and posted here by others before you (and was fake then).