I’m 18 and just got accepted into my dream university. It’s across the country, has an amazing program for what I want to study, and I’ve been working my ass off for this since I was 15. My boyfriend (19) and I have been together for a year and a half. We applied to a few of the same schools, but he didn’t get into any of the ones I did.
When I told him I was going, he asked me to reconsider. He said long distance wouldn’t work, and if I really loved him, I’d pick a local school so we could stay together. I was shocked. I told him I’m not throwing away everything I worked for just to keep the relationship going. He got mad and said I was being selfish and clearly didn’t care about our future.
Now his friends are texting me saying I’m choosing a school over love, and even one of his cousins DM’d me, saying I’ll “regret losing someone who actually cared.” But the truth is, I’ve spent years building this path for myself. I don’t want to shrink my life just to make someone else comfortable. Am I the asshole?
Comments
NTA – if he really loves you he won’t keep you from going to your dream school.
NTA!!! If your boyfriend really loved/cared about you he would not tell you to give up something you’ve felt so passionately about for this long. He would want what’s best for you, even if it’s more difficult for him.
If this is real, then you’re not the asshole. Reads like something for a 90’s sitcom though
NTA. I mean, yeah? Only an idiot would choose their 19 year old boyfriend over school.
You’ll have more regrets if you stay. Yes your relationship may not work.
Most high school relationships end because of this reason. Build your individual self, have personal growth and study/pursue your dreams and the right person will support you through this.
NTA if he loved you, the distance wouldn’t be a big deal
If you give up what you’ve worked and dreamed for, because you’re peer pressured into puppy love, you will regret it forever, and doom the relationship to failure anyway as it won’t be able to make up for what you’ve lost.
Don’t give up a dream school for a boyfriend. You’ll regret it. Dump him. Nta.
Go and don’t look back. This is way too important to your life. Congrats and enjoy college life.
NTA and you just freed yourself from an entitled dysfunctional child who is manipulative, but blatant with it.
Best wishes for a glorious future with as many degrees as you want!
GO TO THE SCHOOL.
OP the chances are slim he’s going to be around when you’ve finished your degree because people change and grow and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Please look at dating as a learning experience. I would actually suggest that you break up with him just before you go to college if not ASAP.
And if you’re having SeGG with him, make sure that you don’t get pregnant. If you’re not using protection or if you are just using condoms, he could sabotage those condoms to keep you with him.
Lastly , he sounds a little controlling.
I had pretty much the same experience when going off to college and I worked my butt off to get into the college I wanted. My. BF didn’t get to the college is that I applied for either, and decided to follow me and take a job in the town that the college was in that I was going to.
Almost immediately when college started, he became seriously possessive to the point I almost had to drop out.
Please follow your dreams. You won’t be sorry.
NTA. The odds that you’re gonna be with this dude are close to zero. You’re gonna meet new people in college and afterwards. The idea that you would change your future so you can be close to some high school sweetheart… Absolutely not. I forbid it.
NTA. How would you feel if you gave up your dream school and your current boyfriend dumps you in the next year? Don’t give up your dreams for a guy.
I had a friend growing up, who passed on a full ride to YALE to stay with his girlfriend, and two months into community college they broke up. Choose you!
NTA
One of my best friends biggest regrets in life is she listened to her boyfriend instead of going to her dream school and then he broke up with her anyway.
Break up. Don’t derail your dreams for a guy. You’re too young to tie yourself down. Break up now before he gets you pregnant on purpose so you don’t go anywhere.
NTA. Please, GO!!!!
NTA. do NOT give up your once in a lifetime opportunity for a boy. ANY boy EVER!!!!
NTA at all. In fact your bf who is. He shouldn’t be blocking you from your future which isn’t helping you in the future. Someone who uses emotional blackmail is a big no no. And bringing in friends into the picture to state his point is immature and manipulative.
Imagine how he would react for other things if things didn’t go his way.
OP, please go to your dream school. If your relationship is strong enough, it should be able to withstand the long distance. If the relationship cannot withstand it, then maybe it wasn’t that strong to begin with.
NTA, don’t ruin your future for a teenage romance
NTA
If he’s that concerned he could transfer after his first year.
GIRL. You are gonna meet so many amazing and much better guy than this loser! Your future is the only thing that matters.
Do not have sex with him unless you are on the pill and he has no access to them pills. This dick will try baby trap you given half a chance.
NTA – My first year of university I was in a dormitory. There were quite a few people I met who were still with their highschool sweethearts from their hometowns when they got to college. Not a single high school couple stayed together very long. You will meet new friends and new lovers quickly.
NTA most high school relationships don’t work out much longer than high school anyhow. Your future is literally your forever. You are a very mature and wise woman. Don’t let any man or anyone for that matter. Standing your way of reaching your dreams. Good luck with school in the fall.
Never make yourself smaller for someone else
Just end it know. Even if it hurts, a decent person would want you to reach your dreams. Even if that ends the relationship, which it should.
There is absolutely no way this guy is your forever. Nor you, his.
Think about what you thought was of importance just 2 years ago at 16? Those changes will happen repeatedly in the next 5-8 years. You’ll both have different priorities and wants and goals. They may line up but keeping you home doesn’t guarantee anything.
NTA follow your dreams.
You go, girl! Enjoy! The universe picked you. Make the most of it !
NTA
If he wanted to be with you badly enough, he would have put in the academic work you did.
Be gentle, but follow your plan.
You’re young. Chances are, this relationship wouldn’t last past 20 anyway. Don’t throw away your future for someone who doesn’t care about you.
What are you doing? Don’t reconsider for a guy that you know. Would probably leave you for somebody else. Opportunities are not always there boyfriends come and go. Listen to me and the people who say the same as me don’t listen to him. He’s just telling you to reconsider to make himself feel better.
NTA Girl this dude is way too immature. That’s a big red flag there. It’s crazy controlling. If he was so concerned he could apply to the smaller colleges in a nearby city to your new place, though honestly I Do Not recommend that.
Just cut your losses and enjoy college. Romance is chaos at your age, don’t feel afraid to step away from it. You don’t need a reason to break up with someone, but this is a very good reason to.
NTA – don’t be that girl
Noooooope what that dude is is insecure, because he failed to get into the school you did, likely because he didn’t work his ass off like you did. He’s afraid you’ll find someone better out there, and rightly so – you will. Let him go just like Titanic – let him float down into the murky depths.
You worked way too hard to let a teenage romance derail your future. BTW don’t have sex with him – it wouldn’t be beneath him to try and knock you up so you can’t go to school and have to stay with him.
well if this is real.. NTA go. If he cared he could go to community college near you. Also being honest High school relationship don’t normally survive college. Why are you expected to give up college for a slacker? he can go to a school near you try to go yours next year.
Block them all. They are immature and you will grow out of them fast(kinda already have). Live your dreams. They are selfish to hold you back. Enjoy college!!
NTA
“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t try to hold me back from my literal dream. You’d be offering to come with me and go to a local community college until you could get in. Or you’d take a year off and work.”
See how stupid it sounds when you ask someone to sacrifice for you at the age of 18? Don’t do it for a guy. Period. Ever. If he wanted to support your dreams, he would.
“You should stay with me in the trailer park instead of leaving for the big city, because love.”
bf at 18 is rarely bf at 21. Alma Mater is forever.
NTA. Since he’s throwing around the “if you loved me” bullshit: If he lived you, he would want you to have the best opportunities that life has to offer, especially one that you worked so hard to earn. Move on and live your life, you would have outgrown him in a year or so anyway.
NTA long distance shouldn’t be an issue for someone who loves you. They should say a few years of studies won’t matter for us in the big scheme of things.
NTA. If he really loves you, he wouldn’t want you to throw your dream away for him.
NTA
It’s refreshing to see someone act with some goddamned sense. Your education, career and personal goals should be about building yourself – if that’s your desire.
Until you’re married, DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR PROFESSIONAL ASPIRATIONS FOR A ROMANTIC PARTNER. NTA.
Also, you’re 18. Bluntly, you’re not old enough to be “in love” enough to give up your goals and dreams for someone. You’re not. His friends are idiot boys – they’re 19 and 19 year olds are idiots. It’s not their fault. It’s just that none of you are old enough to have learned this yet. Also, their statement about “losing someone that actually cares” – there will be other people who care, and who care more. Like, the people who wouldn’t ask you to give up your dream school. If he did truly love you, he’d be encouraging you to go and perhaps figuring out a way to follow, if he’s so invested in that future he speaks of. And again, at 19, what future? You’re both kids. Planning for your future now in the romantic sense like this is kind of a waste. You need to be focusing on your own future as a person, getting yourself established with your own identity and life, before you should even be thinking of settling down into a life that involves someone else.
Never put your future on hold for some man.
HELL NO! If he cared at all, he would want you to fulfill your dreams and go to your dream school! NTA! Go to your dream school!
NTA You will hate him for the rest of your life if you do what he wants. This is his first step in learning how to control you. Your friends obviously have no ambitions.
NTA why can’t he move and support you and your dreams? Why is it you that has to sacrifice? Real love would never ask you to choose and would support you through and through.
NTA, Go to your dream school. Do what is best for you! If he truly loves you he will want what is best for you. But the reality is you are very young. This is a highschool romance. Chances of it lasting even if you go to the same school are slim. Don’t let him hold you back.
do not ever give up on your educational goals for a partner
NTA
NTA. So much NTA. You don’t change your life for your high school boyfriend. Also, be very careful if you are sexually active, as this dumbfuck may try to get you pregnant so you stay near him.
NTA
Why can’t your boyfriend relocate to be by your dream school?
You have no idea what “love” is about (and that’s understandable), however, neither does this boyfriend.
“Love” can handle it. “Lust” and being controlling can not.
You are 18. And smart. Don’t throw your future away for a relationship that isn’t likely to last anyway. You did the right thing. Ty he fact that he even asked you to give up going to your dream school is selfish and entitled. Two traits that make him a bad bet long term. Live your life to the fullest and don’t hold yourself back for anyone.
NTA. Imagine how foolish you will feel in like a year or two when you’ve outgrown each other and you gave up a great education for him. If he really loved you, he would want what is best for you.
If you stay and your relationship ends up not working out anyways, you’ll be left in a school that doesn’t make you happy AND single— a good partner will never make an ultimatum for something that is extremely important to you given that it’s not actively harmful to you or anyone else. You worked your ass off and you’re only going to live to regret not chasing your dream if you stay with somebody who is perfectly fine letting you stay stagnant and unhappy in your education just because he didn’t make it.
As heartless as it might be to say, other people will come into your life who will love and care about you, people who won’t weaponize and revoke that love and care if you decide to go against the grain and chase your dream.
You go, girl! Honey bun, you are going to get to live your dream. How many people can say that?
A real man would ask how he can support you and would try to make long distance work if that was even an option. This manchild and his toddler friends are trying to pressure you into a false choice.
So impressed with you!
I can’t name 5 people I knew in high school, including the girl I was “in love with”, don’t deny your dreams.
NTA, I did long distance with my bf (now husband) through all 4 years of college. If he not willing to try and is more down to crush your dreams, let him go. He isn’t you person because he would care about you first. Go live your best life at your dream school.
Sounds like a fake story to me.
Please go. You’ve worked hard and done an amazing job. If he loved you he would never hold you back.
NTA; if he really loved you he would realize how important this is for you and make it work. He just doesn’t want the inconvenience. Drop him and enjoy college!
NTA! Go to your dream school! You will only get this opportunity once and you need to grab it with both hands and don’t look back,!
No not at all. You are 18. Do you!
NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA
Girl no – you stick to your guns!!!!
nope
No. GOOOOOO,
NTA NTA But you would be if you gave up your dream for a dude who is essentially putting himself first. My mom’s high school bf asked her not to go to college (in the same city!) because he wasn’t going. She broke it off and went to college. And then met my awesome dad at a subsequent job in that profession. Go to school. If you love someone, set them free, and all that. Go to school. The dream and the work pre-date him. Go to school. And congratulations!
“im choosing school over love” no shit Sherlock lol
Ftr…….in the future when you have a new boyfriend who actually loves you. He won’t behave like this. In case you were wondering
You’re leaving anyway. He should realize what that means.
NTA please don’t throw your life away for a boy at 18. He should want you to follow your dreams. Do not let him hold you back. Break it off now
lol fuck him. No offense but most of the time, young love doesn’t last. Go to school and enjoy YOUR LIFE. 🫵
NTAH- his friends have no business in your relationship. Block them. If the situation was reversed, do you think any of them
Would be telling him to give up his dream for you??? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
lol fuck him. No offense but most of the time, young love doesn’t last. Go to school and enjoy YOUR LIFE. 🫵
Please do three things:
Enroll.
Go.
Find a new boyfriend.
NTA – he should be cheering you on and wanting you to succeed, not trying to compel / manipulate you into giving up your dream for him. He’s the one who’s selfish, and shame on him for getting his family to be his “flying monkeys”. Do NOT “shrink your life” for him, because it’ll only be the beginning of the sacrifices he will demand of you. Drop him like a bag of turds. Please.
Nope, NTA. Don’t derail your future for a boy. It’s never worth it. Go to your dream school. You’ve worked hard for it.
I’ve known people in this exact same situation – one gave up a full scholarship to Harvard – and 2 months after starting at a local school the guy broke up with her. Don’t dim your light to make someone else feel better
NTA. You could turn that around and tell him to move with you. You’re 18. It’s unlikely this relationship will last long term. And if it is meant to be, you’ll find a way. But not by giving up everything you’ve worked for.
Oh hell no! Do NOT let anyone talk you out of it. You’re 18- you have worked hard for this and HE is the one being selfish. Huge red flag and the more I read it the more pissed off I get. Your future depends on you getting a good college education- it doesn’t depend on him.
NTA
Long distance works when the couple is committed. I didn’t get to live with my husband until 2 years after we were married and we were long distance for a year before then as well.
Tell your BF to not project his insecurities into the relationship and admit freely that he’s either jealous, insecure and/or wants to control you and have you close just because it’s more convenient for him like that.
Most importantly, go to your dream school. Finding a BF is easier than getting a good education.
you’re 18 bruh. If he really loves you that much he’d at least give long distance a shot. Break up and go to your dream school.
NTA.
Yall have been together a year. Go to the dream school. Live your life with no regrets.
Turn the script. If he loves you, he will go with you and figure his stuff out.
DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR SCHOOL
That is the thing you’d regret in 20 years, not losing a high school boyfriend.
If bf really was “the one”:
A. you wouldn’t be torn
B. he wouldn’t ask you to stay
C. his idiot friends wouldn’t butt in
Congratulations! Go without a second thought. In fact, you might want to stop him now so the pressure campaign doesn’t continue and your happy anticipation of your future isn’t eroded
Please, please, please don’t give up your future for your high school boyfriend. That way only leads to misery and regret. If the relationship is meant to last (unlikely, but possbile) then it will survive distance.
The truth is that you are both still learning about yourselves, there is a low likelihood that either of you has found the one true love of your life at this age. I’ve seen it happen twice, but in both cases it was more a factor of them changing together as they grew up, rather than being an initial match made in heaven. The fact that he is pressuring you to give up your dream school is a red flag.
Focus on your own growth and needs, that’s what you are supposed to do at this age!
JFC do not give up this opportunity! If you do this will end up being the biggest regret of your life. NTA but your boyfriend is. His family pressuring you like this are the assholes too. He’s asking you to give you your amazing educational opportunities, plus potentially future financial success and opportunities.
No way. This is a MASSIVE red flag and his and his families part. 47f here and I can’t tell you how much anxiety this gave me on your behalf. Walk away from him now. Go to your dream school you’ve worked so hard for. And find a partner who will celebrate your hard work and successes! This boy will try baby trap you.
If he really loved you, he would support your new school and move there so you could be together.
Not very likely, eh?
Go to the school, and congratulations!! Also: DO NOT put your life and future on hold for a man, EVER.
Do NOT give up your dream school for a boy. ANY BOY. It’s not “selfish” to follow through on plans for your own future! (And it most certainly IS selfish to demand someone settle for something less than they deserve.) Go to the right school for you. Work hard, have fun, plan things out for your future and THRIVE. Never make yourself small so someone else can feel bigger.
Go to your dream school. Speaking from experience, most high school relationships don’t last long into university (look up “turkey dump”) even if both people go to the same school. A real partner will not block the other from an amazing opportunity.
Relationships end but getting a degree from your dream college lasts forever
DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR CHANCE FOR ANYONE!!!
If he’s the right man for you, you’ll find a way to make it work. But the right man for you would WANT you to have EVERY opportunity, particularly one you’ve worked SO HARD FOR.
Mediocre people will ALWAYS try to bring you down to their level. Insecure folks will too. DO NOT ALLOW IT!! If he’s unable to get into that school but wants to be near you, let him apply to some other schools nearby or a community college so he can transfer later. And if he doesn’t like that idea, ask why his feelings, goals, and dreams matter more than yours. Because they DON’T!
NTA. At least he’s shown his true colours now, no need to regret your decision to dump him. When he cries or asks to stay together remind him he said omg distance won’t work. Any friends who txt tell them to F off & block them
NTA
Kiddo, do not make life affecting sacrifices for relationships at this young an age, for a person this early in your life. You made the right choice. Focus on your academics and career till your mid-20s.
If you love someone, set them free.
NTA. If your relationship is worth a damn, it can survive anything, even long distance. He should support you in achieving your dream and not hold you back because of his shortcomings. He should have studied harder if he wanted to continue the relationship at the same university as you. That’s on him.
I am so sorry you got that from your bf and his friends.
One of my classmates(many many decades ago) pulled that on her boyfriend. He would’ve had a full scholarship to a good university; he listened to her ideas and went to local college. She dumped him a couple years later for a rich guy.
High school ending and then going to college(or other paths) brings about massive amounts of change and different life experiences. No one should try and force someone like he is to you
NTA and I am SO!! proud of you for doing what you need and deserve! A real partner would be as well! You worked hard for this and you deserve it.
NTA – if he loves you he’ll wait for you to finish school…and while you’re in school will do all he can to be able to join you there. Whether it’s as a student or simply to move there. Trust me – he’d expect that of you if he got into the school/program he’d been working toward for 3 years.
If you decide to not go – you will resent him for ‘forcing’ you to make that decision and it’ll break up the relationship.
NTA – do not let someone else dictate your future. You will end up with regrets. If he loved you, he would be supportive of your dreams and goals too. He is the one being selfish by trying to keep you from doing something you have been working towards. Partnerships are supposed to build each other up, grow together and support one another. If he can’t be supportive for a future that you two could build together by allowing you to live your dream than maybe he isn’t the one for you. Do what you want – its your life and again, don’t let anyone stop you. Best of luck!
NTA!
Don’t sacrifice your dream for a relationship! Education is far more important than being with someone that’s insecure about a little distance. He wants control, he doesn’t care about your dream – he only cares about keeping you accessible for his needs. Don’t let him gaslight you and emotionally manipulate you.
Red flags OP! Don’t believe for a second he wants to keep you close for your benefit. Don’t dim your light to make someone else shine.
LOL if he cared, he’d be supporting you going to your dream school, and would do long distance relation for you. But nah, he’s willing to dump you if you go long distance.
NTA! There’s no way. May you find someone better across the country.
Nooo you are not. Instead of encouraging you he’s decided to be the ass hole.
He’s just a boyfriend. This is your life. Make the best decision for YOU.
NTA. You’ll regret loosing the opportunity to study where you want and this decision will affect the rest of your life. I get your feelings but you’re very young and if he really loves you he’ll try to make it work not actively try to make you stay.
If he believes long distance does not work out, then break up until you’re done with college. None of his family or friends can guarantee that you guys will be together 5 years, 10 years from now. If anything, he’s being selfish by not letting you pursue your dream. This is your time to be a little selfish and take care of your future. Nta
NTA. You only get this one chance to go to your dream college and get a degree that will shape the rest of your life. A boyfriend is easier to replace and the chance of your relationship lasting is pretty slim. Especially since he selfishly wants to hold you back instead of supporting your goals.
NTA – It probably isn’t going to work out regardless of where you go to college. If he really cared, he’d let you go and try his best to make it work.
NTA. If HE really loved you, HE would want to see you reach your dreams and would make a long distance relationship work.
No. Pick the school and your future.
NTA
Choose YOURSELF. Go study at that dream university. If he truly loves you, he will embrace that and support your ambition. If not, well, thank the fates you found out about the gaping flaws in his character sooner rather than later.
updateme
You’re only the A for actually asking this out loud
You are both very young. Chances are that you’ll both end up with someone else. Don’t waste all the hard work you’ve accomplished. Please don’t give up on your dream school over this!
He can go to another college, work really hard and try to transfer in. He can call a counselor at your college to get advice and details. DON’T CALL FOR HIM! If he’s really serious, he will do it himself. Just give him a phone number. He won’t call, then you’ll know where you stand
You worked longer to get into this school compared to the time you’ve known this boy.
NtA
NTA.
You could quite easily be less than you really are to make someone else feel better about themselves. People do it all the time. But it causes resentment and it gives someone else control over your life.
NEVER be less than you are. If he is so jealous of your accomplishments that he is threatening to withhold his love from you, he never really loved you in the first place.
Don’t let your hard work go to waste.
Good luck at your dream university. You’ll smash it xx
Never give up your dreams for a boyfriend.
Someone who loves you wouldn’t allow you to.
Internet strangers shouldn’t care more about you living a full life than a boyfriend.
NTA. “Choosing a school over love” is an excellent decision.
Everyone telling you that your high school sweetheart is a better investment for the future is a bit of an idiot.
No, it makes you smart
Good for you.
Knowing what you want and not being easy to manipulate are very important personality traits to have.
But be very aware of what you are giving up, the conscious decision you are making, and to what could have happened otherwise, so that in the future your work/life balance doesn’t go out of wack.
Wow… you should be grateful that he’s revealing who he really is… congratulations!!!
NTA Live your best life. You will meet new people in your dream school who will lift you up, not hold you back. Maybe you just need a new phone number.
Lots of red flags in his response, starting with “if you really loved me” and calling you “selfish.” I’d be concerned about staying with him even if he had gotten into the same schools as you did.
If it’s a deep relationship, and he is emotionally healthy enough, your relationship will endure the distance. Given those red flags, it’s unlikely he (and his cousin) are emotionally healthy enough to sustain a good relationship, no matter where you are.
You’ve earned your place in your dream university. Go for it!
Go to the school.
NTA- don’t give up your dream and future for your high school boyfriend. The reality is that relationship is doomed either way. You would be a AH to yourself for passing this opportunity up. Also, guard your birth control I’ve read too many crazy stories on here of dudes trying to baby trap their partners to keep them around.
Watch American Graffiti all the way through the credits. It covers the whole thing you are dealing with.
Other people got it right – a partner is the first to cheer you on and will pick you up when you falter.
Holding you back is not supporting your dreams
NTA. Run from this boy. He’s showing all the signs of being a controlling, emotionally manipulative partner. Don’t even waste time thinking about it too hard.
>Now his friends are texting me saying I’m choosing a school over love…
Now his friend are texting me saying I am choosing a school over my boyfriend’s immaturity…
There, I fixed it for you.
At this point in life, you have to choose yourself. No one can take care of you better than you. If this is what will get you to the next level you, then do it. There is nothing worse than living a life of regret and resentment (which WILL happen if you don’t choose yourself.)
Also, holding someone back because you are scared to be alone is not love.
Seriously, tell the STBEX to get some therapy and learn to stand on his own two feet. You need a partner, not a manchild.
I mean, long distance isn’t forever. If you two are loyal to eachother you will both make it work until you see eachother again.
Follow your dreams.
NTA, if you don’t go you will resent him for the rest of your life. Break up go to college and if the relationship is meant to be it will. If you are interested you can reach back out in 4 years. A person that holds you back from your dreams is not a person to stay with plus you are young. Go enjoy your life.
He wants to control you. That’s not love. Follow your dream!!!
NTA, pursue your dreams. Don’t orchestrate your life around anyone else at this point in your life. You’ll regret holding yourself back otherwise
If he’s the right one, he would be supporting you to the ends of the earth. Sounds like he’s not the right one. Call it quits with him and find someone who supports your dream as much as you would support their dreams. That’s how you find a keeper.
NTA. Diving up that school would be something you would regret the rest of your life. Especially since this relationship likely won’t last even if you stay. And what type of love is it if they want to hold you back?
NTA If he loved you he’d want you to fulfill your dream! Don’t give up this opportunity. You won’t get it again. If he can’t support you fulfilling your dreams, he’s not the partner you need. You’ve been working towards this for years and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you give up on yourself achieving this. Yeah it sucks and yeah the relationship might not last (most high school relationships don’t, but that’s listen for the best), but you can’t give up this opportunity. You’ve got so much to learn and discover about yourself, start with this.
Nta. I bet he would do the same if he was in your situation.
Go to school, he is being selfish.
You won’t regret going to your dream uni…. you would regret not going there for a guy who wants to hold you back.
Nta you’ll break up at college anyway
NTA. Go get that education.
You need to put your education and your career first. Relationships come and go, and you need to be able to support yourself and live as fulfilled a life as you can.
What your boyfriend’s reaction tells you, along with the reaction of his friends, is that he is going to hold you back, be jealous when you succeed where he doesn’t, and drag you down so he feels as if you’re small enough not to overshadow him.
Congratulations on being accepted by your dream university. Go and have a great time.
NTA.
NTA. You are extremely young. Don’t throw away your goals for young love. Long distance can work if both parties want it to. Manipulation is a red flag, too. Seize the day and your life. Go to university, be successful, and be happy. Good luck, OP.
NTA
But he is asking you to be less. Remember that as you should never settle with someone asking you to be less than you are.
If he was a supportive partner he would be congratulating/supporting you instead of emotional tantrums & manipulation. A lot of this will be down to his immaturity & jelously and I bet you are only starting to question/see him in a different light now.
Long distance can work but you both have to put in effort and find a mutual plan that eventually the distance issue is removed that can be over a period of time or at the end of your studies.
Can he go to a school in your college’s town?
NTA, he’s a high school boyfriend, unlikely to even be someone you like by the time you graduate. If he loved you he would want you to go to the school that would make you happy. He’d be willing to try long distance. He’s trying to hold you back, and you will regret letting him. Just break things off now.
NTA … If HE loved you he would support your decision and be willing to work on a long distance relationship..he is being the selfish one asking you to give up your dream …
PERSPECTIVE
You are young and have your whole life for love ..and real love supports each other’s dreams even through hard times
If he wants to be with you so badly why doesn’t he find a school he can get into near yours … Or get a job move ..do a trade school ..does he have a dream he is working towards ? Can the two align location wise ….
Why does it have to be you that makes the compromise ? … Does he want you to resent him ?
Sounds like he is only looking at this from his perspective..which is selfish ..
You are ready for your next chapter ..you have been focused and working on it .. do not give that up for young love
Your next chapter may not include him ..end it amicably as you can and get ready to go pursue your dream ….
Don’t listen to his friends … Listen to your gut … And if that means he thinks you are an a-hole .his loss .. you will be a stronger person for it. He can choose to continue to behave like an i.mature controlling dude ..or a man supporting a woman he loves even if that is letting her go.
Instead of being happy for you, he’s demanding that you give up your dream because he’s insecure. Take this for the 🚩it is and get out of the relationship.
Just because he is your boyfriend now does not mean he will be around in four years when you graduate wherever you go to college. People grow and change and not all relationships last. By his own admission he is not committed to you for the long haul. Long distance is hard, not impossible but it takes trust, commitment and a shared vision. He could move with you, get a job and support your dream- but probably not. He did not make the cut and wants to hold you back? Go for your dreams. Find a partner who supports you.
In 10 yrs you won’t even remember this dude’s name. Go get in the school that YOU worked hard to get into.
Omg!!!!! Please go to the school that you worked your ass off to get in to. Any guy that really cared about you would be excited and happy for you. He is not a keeper and I mean it!
So he loves you so much that he can’t just move and go to some other college nearby?
You’re supposed to give up your dream because he wasn’t as smart as you?
Nope go to dream school and dump him
At your age you ALWAYS have to choose schooling or career. Always.
NTA, do not feel bad.
NTA – go to school where you are happy. This is a goal you’ve been working towards for 3+ years. Congratulations!!!!
Would he choose you over a school? I think not. NTA. Stand tall. Do what’s right for you!!!
As Judge Judy famously says… “You have your whole life ahead of you. In five years you won’t even remember his name.”
You’ve got the rest of your life in front of you. Go to your dream school. You don’t have to settle at 18 for your high school boyfriend.
Never give up ANYTHING for a relationship.
NTA
Put yourself first. You won’t regret taking your dream university offer over your teenage bf trust me
NTA- I take it that this dream school would lead to a dream job. He doesn’t care about your future if he denies you this.
NTA
You won’t remember his name in 2 years. Go to your school.
Absolutely NOT the A/H! If this guy is not supportive of you or your dreams, then this is not the right person for you. Do not let him or anyone else in his circle talk you out of your personal aspirations. All the best to you! ☘️☘️
NTA, you are only 18. Go to your dream school. I would even say to break it off with your boyfriend now rather than drag it out. At your age, your focus should be on your studies.
Nope—He’s a boyfriend and there are no guarantees—especially so early in your life. This happened to me and I never regretted it. If it’s important to him to stay together, let him move to be closer to where you are but don’t give up your dream for anyone at this stage. Now is the time to make your dreams come true rather than depending on anyone else.
If your future is important to him, why isn’t he looking into how he can go to a school near where you’re going to be??
ETA: NTA
Between your boyfriend and your education, only one is guaranteed to be with you for the rest of your life. Take care of you first.
Focus on yourself and pick the program that you have worked hard for.
You won’t regret leaving a high school boyfriend to chase your dreams.
You will regret not chasing your dreams for a high school relationship that’s astonishingly likely to fail no matter what you do once you hit the real world.
Sounds like he’s jealous! Don’t compromise your future for a jealous little boy! NTA at all
Go to the school. You are young with lots of life ahead of you. If your relationship cannot survive long distance, then perhaps it’s not meant to be. It might not make it even if you go to the same school….then where would you be, having given up such a great opportunity.
Do what is right for YOU! He should do the same, and be adult enough to accept your decision and cheer you on!
I had a HIGHSCHOOL boyfriend (i was 14 he was 15) and he would guilt me into wanting to go to college 5-6 hours away (just mere hopes and dreams at that point). he would sulk and tell me that if i didn’t want to stay in the tiny outskirts town where he lived (we were in the boonies lol) then we’d NEVER work!!!
now, i am with the love of my life, and I got OUT. him, he’s working cash at our hometown grocery store. i don’t know if he is happy and im in no way shaming him, but i got what i wanted and i feel no guilt because it’s not like i asked him to come with, i just chose me.
i hope you choose you buddy, you will so regret it if you don’t.
Real question is do you want a partner who will celebrate your successes and accomplishments. This guy clearly doesn’t/won’t.
Also: what does he bring to the table that’s worth throwing this opportunity away for?
NTA at all! At least everyone here thinks so, so take that as your answer and ignore him and everyone else saying that you shouldn’t go. You’re so young and your getting into that uni is reward for your hard work and clearly shows that you’ve got what it takes to succeed. So I wish you all the very best 🙏.🌹
No. Don’t worry about it. Your BF is just one of many you will have in your life. You must take the best care possible of yourself and your own future.
Absolutely NTA.
NEVER sacrifice your dreams for someone else. And NEVER attach yourself to someone who wants you to.
Lordy. Absolutely go to your dream school! You should not give up your dreams for a guy. Signed, divorce lawyer who has seen it all.
NTA
Congratulations 🎊 👏 on setting great goals, working for them, and achieving so well. Your success speaks volumes about your ambitions and enthusiasm. Your future includes many opportunities that are yet unseen.
Your bf has failed himself. His lack of genuine ambitions and hard work leave him in his starting blocks. His family and friends seem to be short-sighted in wanting you to go to a local school to compromise your ambitions so you can keep your bf happy.
You do you. Your self-respect and self-care will pay rich dividends as you honor yourself and your abilities.
Young relationships barely ever last and at the cost of your dream?? Nahhh goto that school girl and live your best life even if yall gotta break up to do so
As someone who gave up school for the guy, GO TO SCHOOL!!! Don’t repeat my mistakes. The right partner doesn’t keep you from your dreams; they support you.
NTA
Good news is that ten years from now you will probably struggle to remember his name.
NTA..Don’t let him stop you. Drop him and go to that school!! 💜