My girlfriend recently sat down and asked if she could talk. She mentioned that she thinks it would be a god idea for us to share our location with each other at all times. She wanted to use the find my phone app and have it on constantly. I asked why and she said she just thought it could be useful.
She mentioned that since she had recently gotten a car that she thinks for safety we should share locations just incase anything happens to her when she’s driving.
I offered a compromise and suggested she shares her location when she is getting in the car and then can turn it off when she’s back or that she can keep it on at all times if she’d prefer.
She disagreed and said we should both share it. I said I didn’t really feel comfortable knowing I can always be tracked. She said it was suspicious that I was refusing but I just pointed out that I don’t feel comfortable with it.
She said I was being unreasonable and that she isn’t asking for much but I just mentioned that I have offered a perfectly reasonable compromise that she’s refusing.
AITA for not wanting my location tracked at all times?
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My girlfriend recently sat down and asked if she could talk. She mentioned that she thinks it would be a god idea for us to share our location with each other at all times. She wanted to use the find my phone app and have it on constantly. I asked why and she said she just thought it could be useful.
She mentioned that since she had recently gotten a car that she thinks for safety we should share locations just incase anything happens to her when she’s driving.
I offered a compromise and suggested she shares her location when she is getting in the car and then can turn it off when she’s back or that she can keep it on at all times if she’d prefer.
She disagreed and said we should both share it. I said I didn’t really feel comfortable knowing I can always be tracked. She said it was suspicious that I was refusing but I just pointed out that I don’t feel comfortable with it.
She said I was being unreasonable and that she isn’t asking for much but I just mentioned that I have offered a perfectly reasonable compromise that she’s refusing.
AITA for not wanting my location tracked at all times?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Refused to let my partner track my location as I wasn’t comfortable.
She said I was being suspicious as she wasn’t asking for much and that o should be fine with it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
I’d be asking where on social media she’s seen this being promoted as a good idea
NTA it’s perfectly normal to not want to have your location tracked at all times. Going down the “if you’ve nothing to hide” route is manipulative.
As an aside, I’d like to see a tracking app that notifies you when your location is requested by another user. I think that would stop a lot of peoples fears that location tracking is being abused. Knowing my location is shared for emergencies with family but also knowing they can’t ping my location without me knowing would be a best of both worlds.
NTA. You’re perfectly within your rights to not want anyone tracking your location.
Thats crazyyy dont exceot that
NTA. Sounds like the car emergency thing maybe isn’t the real reason. Why would you need to share your location if she just wants you to be able to find her in case of an accident or something?
NTA. If you don’t feel comfortable with being tracked that’s fine. There’s many reasons why people wouldn’t want to use something like this even if it’s for little occasions.
This has nothing to do with her getting a car and she’s the one acting suspicious I hate to say it but a lot of time people are reflecting are you sure she has nothing to hide ?
NTA. I 100% would never do this with anyone and the car excuse is a cover. She needs to deal with why she feels the need to know where you are at all times because it’s not normal.
NTA. Also, find a different girlfriend as the control/suspicion issues never go away.
NAH.
I’m going to be so honest – I don’t really see what the issue is here. If you just don’t want to then you’re well within your rights to say no, you’re absolutely not an asshole – but why do you care if she knows you’re at the grocery story on a random tuesday or whatever? I’m genuinely just curious because I have my friends on find my iphone and my ex had my location on snapchat and I don’t really give two fucks about whether or not they know where I am. I’ll also say, it’s not weird for people to want the location of someone they’re close to so I don’t think she’s unhinged the way people here seem to think she is, it is a pretty normal request nowadays.
NTA. This sounds like one of those “tests” that you see immature girls pull sometimes. I would advise against it.
Tell her you’ll put an airtag in her car for safety, and she won’t need to worry about it anymore.
NTA. I don’t think I could date someone who insisted on tracking my location. Seems controlling and invasive.
NTA. I wouldn’t want mine tracked either, and 80% of the time, I’m working from home!
Well for starters she didn’t recently sit down and say this did she? Because it was posted a year ago on this very sub.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18hghhw/aita_for_not_wanting_my_location_tracked/?rdt=37069
If your gf wants to be tracked because she feels safer that way, swell, track her. But you are under no obligation to be tracked against your will. If your GF doesn’t trust you when you’re out of her sight, or feels the need to know where you are every second of the day and night, then she doesn’t trust you enough to be in a romantic relationship with you.
NTA
I think what some people are missing/assuming is that all she going to do is sit there and watch his location. LOL 100% not going to happen. I share my location with my sister and fiancée and vice versa and have for years and can count on one hand how often I’ve checked on them or them on me. Usually if I’ve looked it’s a situation where we are supposed to be meeting somewhere at a specific time and they may be late so you take a look to see how far they are. Just a safer option in my opinion vs texting or calling someone who is driving and probably already a little flustered because they are running late. Do people think sharing their location means their partner is going to turn in to some psycho stalker? If so why are you with someone like that?
NTA. I don’t even keep location services on on my phone, so I would never do this.
NTA it’s objecting to being someones chattel.
Sharing locations has become quite common.
I however would say nope.
If I want someone to know where I’m going, where I’ve gone, or where I am we can talk about it, maybe have a conversation over a slice of cake.
I think it’s making snooping and coercion normal. I don’t like it. NTA
NTA. You do you. But you should look into this part of you who feels that way. Is it a trust issue or unnecessary paranoia? Use this to help know yourself.
This is coming from a person that shares location with fiancé: if you don’t want to, don’t do it. In our case, he rides a motorbike and (although he’s not careless) he always knew I worry a lot, he came up with this idea as a way to put my mind at ease, and I thought it was fantastic. I don’t mind sharing my location, this is my personal preference because I know neither of us abuses this. But, again, you don’t have to want it and, if you don’t, then don’t do it. NTA
It recently came up as a topic in my 3y relationship. Friends of ours had it on and tried to find another friend at a rave (while drunk) and couldn’t work out the location so they posted a screenshot to the group chat. It was hilarious. They did not find eachother
anyways, I asked my partner “hey, you want to do this?” cuz he sometimes catches a quick flight off to somewhere, as a photographer/videographer to fly his drone into a volcano or something and I thought this might be nifty
He said “no thanks, that’s creepy”
End of discussion 😀
We do have an airtag for my mum’s car tho, and she added me to it so that it doesn’t beep when I’m in the car, so I do know where her car is even tho she lives half the planed away from me. I sometimes forget that airtag, so it’s not really something constantly on my mind
NTA
NTA…no one should have 100% access to you at all times. I find it very weird and insecure when folks in relationships demand to know locations
NTA, homeland security, your cell phone provider, Google, apple, random apps you’ve downloaded… they’re already all tracking you. You don’t need to let this chick know where you are.
NTA
Anyone who insists you are being “unreasonable” for not wanting to be tracked isn’t mature enough to be in a relationship.
There is NO reason to be tracked by your partner.
If they don’t trust you, they need to not be your partner.
NAH you may not want to do this, but there is nothing wrong with her asking. My husband and I share our location with each other. I often use it to see how far away he is from home after work to make him tea or reheat dinner.
NTA. I share my location with my family but not with my partner, he also doesn’t share it with me but shares with some of his family members. Nothing wrong with that. It’s our own personal choice, there’s no red flags there, neither green. It’s just a choice and that’s it.
If you travel to an unsafe country on vacation then that could be a different story, sharing the location for two weeks just in case if the phone gets robbed or so, while you’re always together. But on a daily basis, there’s no need for that.
I’d walk her through how phone emergency SOS works and add yourself as an emergency contact. Any more than that and it’s clear her safety isn’t the main issue, it’s a matter of trust.
You don’t have to give up your basic privacy because someone doesn’t trust you. It’s just a rabbit hole that will go on forever until one day you find yourself with no friends, wondering why she hasn’t let you leave the house in a month. Good job on taking a stand now and making your boundaries clear.
I would personally end the relationship if she continued to mention or complain about this. It’s a non negotiable to any reasonable person.
There is no way on earth I would allow anyone to track me. I hate the idea and agree that it’s intrusive. If she can’t trust you, you’ve got problems
NTA there is no reason to be tracked
Kick her to the curb and find a girlfriend that isn’t controlling and doesn’t trust you
NAH
I have that on too and it’s shared among all family members – parents, siblings, grandparents. Nobody is checking it except when someone is not arriving to an event on time or when someone is traveling far away.
Personally I don’t feel like my privacy is invaded but I also don’t go anywhere where I wouldn’t be comfortable others to know. However i partially get that the feeling might be not so great for others.
NTA
If she wants to share her location with you, then I don’t see any particular reason for you not to agree. But you don’t have to share yours back if you don’t want to
For context, we have family sharing set up (me, spouse and one of the kids, other cancelled when they left home). It is handy, but it’s personal and intrusive and any adult who doesn’t want to share shouldn’t be pressured in to it.
That she rejected the entirely sensible option of ‘share for the rest of the day’ option on days when she has a journey she’s iffy about suggests that she’s after control, not reassurance on safety grounds