I lost my job a few months ago due to mass layoffs and can’t afford rent anymore, so I moved in with my best friend. He lives in a nice apartment in a small city. I have a puppy who stays with me—he’s very energetic. I take him to the dog park in our building and for a walk at least once a day.
When I’m busy with job applications or other commitments, I sometimes take him to the dog park and play fetch to help him burn off energy. Most of the other dogs in the building are friendly and play with my pup, but there’s one large dog—Bosco—who is about 100 pounds and just under two years old. He’s super energetic, jumps on people constantly, and everyone seems annoyed by him. He’s jumped on me several times—I’ve gotten scratches on my thighs and once on my stomach that actually bled.
I never complained because a month ago, his owner, Jeena, fractured her fingers trying to control him. She’s always friendly, and she told me she’s been unemployed for over a year and is struggling financially. I genuinely feel bad for her. I usually try to avoid Bosco, especially when I have my 25-pound pup with me, but he often runs over and jumps on him too.
Two nights ago, I had to attend an event and came home late. My puppy still had a lot of energy, so I took him to the dog park to play fetch with a small ball (about 1.5 inches wide—he can’t play with bigger ones). While we were playing, Jeena came into the park with Bosco. I immediately picked up the ball because I didn’t want Bosco to get it—he’s so big and rough. Jeena let him off the leash, and Bosco immediately started jumping on me with so much intensity that I dropped the ball. He grabbed it and refused to let go. Both of us tried to get it from him while I was also trying to protect myself and my puppy. Jeena couldn’t control him well because of her injured hand, and eventually Bosco swallowed the ball.
Now she’s asking me to help pay for the surgery.
I’m not on unemployment benefits, have zero savings, and I’m currently borrowing money from a friend just to buy food. My parents live overseas and can’t help me financially. I told Jeena I can’t contribute, and now she’s upset with me.
AITA for refusing to help?
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I lost my job a few months ago due to mass layoffs and can’t afford rent anymore, so I moved in with my best friend. He lives in a nice apartment in a small city. I have a puppy who stays with me—he’s very energetic. I take him to the dog park in our building and for a walk at least once a day.
When I’m busy with job applications or other commitments, I sometimes take him to the dog park and play fetch to help him burn off energy. Most of the other dogs in the building are friendly and play with my pup, but there’s one large dog—Bosco—who is about 100 pounds and just under two years old. He’s super energetic, jumps on people constantly, and everyone seems annoyed by him. He’s jumped on me several times—I’ve gotten scratches on my thighs and once on my stomach that actually bled.
I never complained because a month ago, his owner, Jeena, fractured her fingers trying to control him. She’s always friendly, and she told me she’s been unemployed for over a year and is struggling financially. I genuinely feel bad for her. I usually try to avoid Bosco, especially when I have my 25-pound pup with me, but he often runs over and jumps on him too.
Two nights ago, I had to attend an event and came home late. My puppy still had a lot of energy, so I took him to the dog park to play fetch with a small ball (about 1.5 inches wide—he can’t play with bigger ones). While we were playing, Jeena came into the park with Bosco. I immediately picked up the ball because I didn’t want Bosco to get it—he’s so big and rough. Jeena let him off the leash, and Bosco immediately started jumping on me with so much intensity that I dropped the ball. He grabbed it and refused to let go. Both of us tried to get it from him while I was also trying to protect myself and my puppy. Jeena couldn’t control him well because of her injured hand, and eventually Bosco swallowed the ball.
Now she’s asking me to help pay for the surgery.
I’m not on unemployment benefits, have zero savings, and I’m currently borrowing money from a friend just to buy food. My parents live overseas and can’t help me financially. I told Jeena I can’t contribute, and now she’s upset with me.
AITA for refusing to help?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I took a small ball to the dog park
2. I refused to pay for her dog’s surgery
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Her inability to control her dog is not your problem.
You have no obligation to cover those medical costs.
NTA.
NTA. WTF? Jeena should never be letting this dog off leash around other people or animals if he is this out of control. 100% not your fault that her dog attacked you and swallowed something he forced out of your hands. She’s lucky you’re not the type of person to report that sort of thing. It is insane for her to ask you for money.
She can do a fundraiser for the surgery and dog training lessons (she needs it!). NTA. You are not responsible for her dog’s behavior.
NTA. That is an insane ask.
What the fuck how do you even manage that?
NTA. She can do a fundraiser.
NTA she’s deluded.
Sue her for replacement of the ball.
Nta. She needs to control her dog.
Thankyou everyone for the suggestions and supporting my decision. I have often mentioned to her about her dog jumping on other people. She listens but never trains him. I still feel bad for her and her dog and her messages made me feel really bad for my actions. This is what she responded to me when I refused to help because of my finantial situation.
“I don’t want to blame you because it’s not your fault he swallowed it, but it was highly irresponsible of you to bring such small toy to the dog park knowing that there are big dogs there, too, and it’s dangerous for them to have small toys around.
Not only they will cut him open to remove the ball, which brings potential risks, but I’ve already paid $1000 before they started. I’m asking for any help, even a small amount, since I’m in the same exact financial situation like you are and honestly, I would do the same if I knew I was a part of such a terrible accident.”
NTA. not your dog, not your responsibility. your object he swallowed, for sure, after he was let off of his leash by Jenna and she failed to take control.
>Jeena let him off the leash, and Bosco immediately started jumping on me with so much intensity that he bit off my finger. He grabbed it and refused to let go. Both of us tried to get it from him while I was also trying to protect myself and my puppy. Jeena couldn’t control him well because of her injured hand, and eventually Bosco swallowed my finger. Now she’s asking me to help pay for the surgery
OK, maybe exaggerating but not by much. You struggled to keep the ball away from Bosco. You are no more responsible than if it was your finger.
NTA. She’s a bad pet owner. The dog has maimed her, and may hurt others. You should consider complaining about him.
NTA She should not be bringing her untrained dog to a shared space.
NTA. She needs to spend some time training her dog or find a home for him that will. Just because she’s an irresponsible pet owner doesn’t make this your problem.
Btw, he is going to continue to hurt people and/or dogs. Management needs to know about her and her dog.
NTA. Her dog swallowed a toy not meant for him because of her inability to properly train or restrain him. If she can’t control her dog, she shouldn’t be taking him around other people or animals.
NTA, but she sure has some stones to ask you to pay. Absolutely not your fault in any way shape or form. She didn’t control her dog and the dog stole the toy and swallowed it. That’s 100 percent on her.
Honestly, kinda gross that she would even ask.
NTA, Jeena needs to learn to control her dog or keep him out of dog parks. its sad that Bosco is hurt, i hope he gets better soon, but its not your fault or responsibility.
Nta she wasn’t controlling her dog you didn’t give him something he took it That’s on her
NTA. So her dog attacked you and she can’t control him and you are at fault
There is an a in this story and it’s not you.
Seems like she’d have nothing but time to train her dog. What’s her excuse? Calling you irresponsible is the best part. I’d ask her why she thinks that applies to you and not her. Her dog has literally injured people. NTA
nta if she can’t control her dog, sure shouldn’t have him.
This woman has got a lot of nerve asking someone else to pay for the results of her inability to control her dog. Your employment status is irrelevant. Even if you were employed, this is not your problem.
NTA
Your answer can be found in your post:
>Jeena couldn’t control him well
You didnt her dog swallow a ball. If she had control and restrained her dog, it would not end up in this predicament.
>I told Jeena I can’t contribute, and now she’s upset with me.
Tough lesson to learn. You should be upset with her for laying this responsibility at your feet. It is 110% her problem and not yours. NTA
NTA. Jeena is a menace and should not be allowed a dog. Bosco needs someone who can train him before he really hurts someone
NTA…Jenna needs to train her dog to listen to her commands and if she cannot control him right now, then she should not be taking him out.
You did the responsible thing and picked up the ball as soon as you saw her and her dog. Her dog needing surgery is entirely her fault.
NTA she needs to learn to control her dog. Paying for a surgery is the penalty for not training him.
NTA. Tell her that ball was 3.95 and you expect remuneration. Do not give her a nickel, that can be construed as tacit acknowledgement of responsibility and she may sue.
Info: does your dog run/park have rules about what balls can be used in the park? Ours only allows standard tennis balls and that’s written on the signs outside the run. If this rule is in place and you brought a small ball, you have some fault. The other persons dog isn’t controlled, so there is also blame there. In this case, it would be ESH.
If there is no rule about the size of the ball allowed, then, NTA.
NTA not your dog not your problem. Fact is she failed to appropriately train the dog to follow basic commands such as drop or let go. She has zero control of the dog as proven by her own injuries. If she is struggling so much financially she needs to consider re homing her dog or surrendering it.
No, of course not! She can’t control her dog at all and yet takes him out. She’s lucky he didn’t injure you or someone else and she isn’t being handed a bill for that.
Her dog was out of control this is not your fault
NTA. Her unruly dog and the consequences of not doing a better job controlling him are her burdens to bear. Not yours.
YTA. This happened on your watch.
NTA. If Jeena can’t control her dog, that’s HER PROBLEM as a dog owner. And her text message to you, I would just block her after telling her her big dog is her responsibility. She can’t blame you for her lack of training.
DO NOT GIVE THIS WOMAN ANY MORE MONEY. THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. If she had proper control of the dog in the first place this would never have happened and its unreasonable to think that everyone in a public dog park has to have toys that are friendly to EVERY dog at that park. You did nothing wrong. Its actually on her for taking her untrained dog to a public area when shes injured and doesn’t have the ability to properly restrain the dog in an emergency. What if Bosco encountered another untrained dog and a fight breaks out? would she be able to separate them before they could tear each other part? Probably not. Bosco owner is setting up Bosco for disaster.
You need to be honest with her that you’re broke and even working off of borrowed money for food. At worse she can try to sue you but if you don’t have any money to take, then it just a waste of everyone’s time and court fees. Tell her you are sorry this happened but its not your fault Bosco is not trained to listen to her commands
NTA. Maybe Jeena should rehome the dog. If she’s poor too, she can’t afford a dog she hasn’t trained to behave.
NTA. When you have a dog that size you need to train the dog. You also need to have funds set aside for if/when the dog gets sick. I speak from experience. I had a saint bernard and it was over 1k each time he had to go under anesthesia for something. It is also why I don’t currently have another giant dog, as much as I love them.
She was unprepared for a dog like that.
NTA, her getting a dog that she can’t control and then proceeding to not train it at all is not your fault or your responsibility. She’s a bad dog owner.
NTA Each dog owner is responsible for their dog and their actions. You are not responsible for HER not contorlling HER dog, and HER dog going out of control and (basically) asault you. You should be able to bring your puppy to the park with whatever dog toy you want, and every owner should be able to control their dog or keep them leashed.
NTA.
This is a large dog with no impulse control. It was probably only a matter of time before he swallowed or ate something he shouldn’t have, and it’s not like you shoved it down his throat.
It’s a bummer she’s in the situation she’s in, and if you decided to offer any financial contribution it would be kind but not necessary at all. As much as I love having my dog around, part of being a responsible owner is ensuring you can keep them under your control and financially cover their expenses (including keeping an emergency fund). If I were in her situation I would have looked into rehoming my dog long before this.
Annnnndddd this is why dog parks suck and I avoid them at all costs.
Oh, and NTA OP. Not sure where you’re located or if you have the ability to do so financially right now, but check out Sniff Spot and see what’s around you. It gives you ability to play with your dog off-leash without having to worry about other dogs.
NTA the dog body checked you and you dropped the ball.
It could have been anything in your hands. Keys with a ball keychain.
You were not irresponsible at all. In fact you were very responsible. As soon as you saw her dog you collected the ball. She is wrong to act like you shouldn’t be allowed to bring the right sized toy to a dog park for your dog to play fetch.
You would expect other people to have control of their animals.
What’s irresponsible is having a massive dog and not training it to not jump. What if a little grandma had a ball and Bosco jumped and broke her hip? Or even if he’d broken your fingers as well?
You were not part of this “accident” at all and do not need to pay.
NTA Jeena get yourself and your dog trained!
Dog parks are generally at your own risk.
NTA – how the heck could you if you wanted to?
NTA. They person responsible for the dog & the dogs medical costs is its owner. That’s what you agree to when you get a pet; all their expenses. Y TA for getting a dog when you have no job tho, how are you feeding it?
ETA I have a Great Dane, any fuck up she does is on me, she’s very well trained and she still makes mistakes. Just this past thanksgiving I had to pay for a car to be buffed because she put her front paws on it and scratched it
Tell her to kick rocks, she knew how her dog was and refuses to get him train or keep him on a leash, just letting him run wild terrorizing people, tell her hopefully this will teach her a lesson about getting a dog she can’t control
NTA. You seem like a good person, and have empathy for others struggling. That said, your responses to Jenna should be firm, admit no fault (as you had none), and do not pay a single penny, not even out of sympathy.
Please don’t excuse her behavior, she is the worst pet owner. It is cruel for her to have a dog that she does not train — he is not only a nuisance to the community, but he obviously needs more care because he can hurt/injure himself, case in point with the ball.
Her responsibility is to keep her out-of-control dog on a leash, which she failed to do. She also owes you the cost of a ball.
NTA, and I don’t know what kind of dog you have, but I’d be wary of letting any dog play with a ball that small.
NTA
A dog that’s big and not properly under control is a danger to itself and to others. If the dog is big enough to injure its owner, and you, even by accident, it is definitely big enough to injure a small dog – or a child.
The owner is the AH here – for not having trained the dog, and for daring to ask you to help pay for him eating the ball you had in your hand that her untrained dog would not drop after jumping at you and making you lose your grip on it.
I hope Bosco recovers soon, and that the owner gets him properly trained!
Please do not give any money to this irresponsible pet owner. She might take it as an admission of liability and sue you for the rest of her bills.
Actions, meet consequences. She’s had plenty of warning that her inability to control her dog could end badly.
I have all the sympathy in the world for the dog and none for the owner.
NTA. This all comes down to being able to control your pet as a responsible owner and she clearly doesn’t have the ability.
You are not responsible for her pets vet bills.
This is a wake up call for her though because next time he may take off after a child or car and if she can’t control him she has no business owning a dog that large without proper training.
NTA, accidents happen – case in point:
I would bring my pup to my next door neighbor’s enclosed yard so her pup and mine could run around and play together. My doggo decides to swallow a little toy of her toddler, we didn’t figure out why he was throwing up for days until we got him to the vet and could see the toy on the xray.
Choice was a $5000 surgery or they could TRY and extract it with a scope for about $2000, but no guarantees they could grab it. We couldn’t afford 5K but crossed our fingers the scope worked – fates decided the doofus still had life in him and they got it out.
NOT ONCE DID I CONSIDER ASKING MY NEIGHBOR FOR MONEY. It wasn’t her negligence, she didn’t shove it down my dogs throat, it was an accident.
Maybe your friend is strapped for cash too but this is part of having a pet.
NTA. This is all on Jenna because she hasn’t trained her dog. Just say no. If you want to add you have no money, do it. Let her be upset. She was trying to take advantage of you
The first thing I teach my dog is come, the second is sit, the third is drop it. I don’t allow them to ever jump on me or strangers so…Jenna failed her dog, it’s her problem. NTA
Nta. Personally, I don’t get a dog that will get bigger than I can control. Not necessarily pick up, but hold back, keep on leash. I’m not the best at training and keep my dog away from others bc I haven’t trained her around others and don’t want to risk anything. The dog shouldn’t be off leash if it’s not trained to be. I had a dog that I had to have on leash in my fenced in back yard for quite awhile bc she wouldn’t come in when called or tried to get under the porch. It is her responsibility to train/control her dog. You weren’t doing anything negligent to hurt the other dog. You were protecting yourself and your pup.
Absolutely NTA and I would not even mention your own financial situation when responding. Whether you were loaded or dirt poor is not relevant here. You’re not responsible for her dangerous dog. She should not be bringing a dog like this to a public place where it can harm other people or animals and the responsibility is 100% hers. The only money that should be exchanged is her offering to replace your dog’s ball. I’m just glad it was only the ball and not your dog that was eaten!
No, I would not contribute to surgery. It’s unfortunate that she was unable to control her untrained dog.
I have smaller dogs, and you can buy balls with a strap (mine is like a small soccer ball with 10 handles) so she can pick it up by the handle to return it.
I’m so terrified of my dogs choking, and these balls are great. Just Google dog balls with straps.
NTA. She wouldn’t be in this position if she trained her dog.
NTA; don’t give her anymore money…you never should have in the first place but I get it. What happened is the consequences of her not being a good pet owner 🙃
Not your responsibility
NTA. Reasons like this were why we did not allow toys at dog daycare. Some dogs cannot control themselves around toys AND the owner knows that. If she was so worried about that she should have given you time to remove the ball completely. You and others have told her the dog is out of control and she herself has gotten injured by it. People like this are why dog parks are risky. They do not or cannot control their dogs and put everyone else at risk. I know someone who got her arm broken because of someone’s out of control dog
NTA. This isn’t your fault, Bosco’s owner does not have control over him and should not be taking Bosco out to places where he could get hurt until he is properly trained and owner has control.
NTA she shouldn’t own a dog that she can’t control
NTA – this falls on Jeenas shoulders.
#1 her dog
#2 dog is not trained
#3 it’s simply not your dog lol
NTA – this is her fault for having a dog she can’t control and can’t or won’t train.
NTA. It’s a pet owner’s responsibility to control their animal. It sucks for her that her dog ate the ball, but if she can’t control him and he eats things, that is her responsibility.
She has not trained her dog. She cannot afford to care for her dog. This is not your problem or your responsibility. NTA
NTA. Jenna brings her untrained dog to the dog park, let’s him off leash to terrorize other people and their pets, and when he eats something he’s not supposed to because he’s untrained, you’re half responsible? Yeah, that’s a no from me. Stop talking to Jenna. She sucks.
It’s 100% Jenna’s fault.
Dogs are bred for discipline. Any dog that isn’t controllable is suffering from bad ownership. Sometimes it can take longer for a dog to train, but once they start obeying, every new command will be learned faster, and both owner and dog will be less stressed and more relaxed.
Owning a 100 lb dog is a great responsibility. There’s a reason your little 25 lb puppy will play. Size isn’t a thing with dogs, so chihuahuas and huskies will play together.
If she can’t control her dog, she had no right to take off the leash.
NTA and don’t back down. Also, go to YouTube and watch training vids. It’s surprisingly easy. You have to be consistent. It will help you keep your dog safe; they will know to come to you if you choose to get them out of a situation or possible danger.
NTA. I adore dogs, but Jeena is an irresponsible pet parent. It’s on her to control him, and if she had, Bosco wouldn’t need the vet for this.
She has broken fingers because she can’t even control walking him.
Coupled with the fact that she hasn’t taught her dog “No” or “Drop it” speaks volumes.
She’s a horrible pet owner.
Her dog might even be swallowing stuff in her home every other week.
Don’t give her anything.
She has created this problem long before your dog’s ball came into it.
She’s now feeling the consequences of her inactions and inability to properly train a dog.
She hasn’t realized training is for the safety of both humans and dogs to prevent exactly what she’s going thru right now.
NTA
NTA Even if I had the money, I’d never donate towards her terrible pet ownership. This is all 100% her fault.
UpdateMe
NTA WTF Tell her she’s lucky you’re not pressing charges against her dog for attacking you.
This is why my dog training daughter will never take a dog to a dog park. NTA.
NTA. If she cannot control her dog then she shouldn’t be letting him off leash. Someone is going to get knocked over and hurt and sue her at this rate. Crimeney.
Not your responsibility. Dog owners need to control their dogs and if they can’t then they have a responsibility to avoid situations where their pups can hurt others. So, in fact, she is at fault and at the least, owes you a dog ball.
NTA- The neighbor/owner of the other dog needs to pay for the surgery. 1. She let him off leash knowing how much he likes balls. 2. She has not trained the dog. A dog jumping on people is irresponsible at best. You had the ball in your hand. The dog jumped on you. (Should Never allow this) When they did, the ball dropped. The negligence in this was the owner.