I’m (19F) and recently graduated high school. Since I was a kid, my grandparents set aside a college fund for me. It wasn’t a huge amount, but it was enough to cover community college and part of a university transfer.
Last month, my older sister “Emily” (32F) confessed that she used the money for her stepkids’ (ages 12 and 14) private school tuition. She’s been married for two years to “Jason,” who has full custody of his kids. They’re nice enough, but we aren’t close.
I was obviously furious when I found out. Emily said she was “just borrowing it” and planned to pay it back eventually. I asked when, and she said “when we’re more financially stable.” No actual plan.
The worst part? My grandparents never gave her permission. They trusted her to be the “adult” who managed the account because I was underage when it was set up. I trusted her too.
Now I’m stuck. I got into my dream university but can’t afford it without loans. My grandparents are heartbroken but can’t just pull that money out of nowhere again. I had to decline my acceptance and start working full-time while figuring out my options.
This week, Emily asked if I could start babysitting her stepkids for free during the summer, since “you’re not in school anymore.” I straight up said no. She got defensive and accused me of “punishing her children for something they didn’t do.”
She said I’m being selfish and vindictive. Our parents are split — Dad says she messed up and I owe her nothing, Mom says “family is more important than money” and I should let it go.
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I’m confused why your sister had control over it and not your parents. Or why it wasn’t put in a trust. Some of this sounds off, tbh. If it’s real, then I’d sue. “Get your husband and his family to pay me back for THEIR kids.” Sue her for financial abuse and fraud.
Your mom is gross and probably told her it will be okay. Your sister is vile. I would press charges.
No family is not more important when they compromise your future. This isn’t about money but the future you were denied. I’d go one step further to extreme LC that looks a lot like NC. This isn’t a small mistake she railroaded your future.
Sue. She’s entitled. It’s not for her to decide when she’s financially stable enough to pay. Set the record straight with contract and give her deadline to pay back money she misused it or else you’ll have to go to court and it’ll be super ugly
AI can’t tell ages I guess, why is a 14 year old being baby sat
You need a lawyer. Your sister and her husband committed financial fraud.
Tell her to take loans and pay you back , if family so important over money to her..
NTA and I do not believe it will cost more for you to sue her than you would get back. I genuinely believe you would win and that you can also include legal fees in what she owes. If your grandparents go in on it, since theyre technically the ones who were stolen from, you can even take a different approach. Elder abuse. She stole money from two seniors who didnt know better than to trust her. She can get in serious trouble for that. And also, it’s not just a lawsuit if they report the money as stolen, which it was. Thats something legal that can be handled by police instead.
Unblock her. Every time she sends you a text, send back one word. THIEF
Hell no. NTA. Let her make other arrangements for the kids. She is a thief.
Why did your grandparents give management of the account to your sister when they are capable and you also have parents? This doesn’t add up.
Do you have any text or documentation say that money was for your college? If yes then take her to court plus attorney fees
Girl, apply again and get the loan. If not for your dream college somewhere else. You’ll do better longer term with a degree (depending on what you choose to study).
NTA. If family is more important than money then why did her sister take money from her family? For private school tuition at that, which is a want, not a need. I’d be done with her.
NTA. She embezzled the funds.
I would suggest a claim in Small Claims Court. Depending on your state, you can sue for 10,000 bucks or more. No lawyers, low filing fees. Just the threat, or the legal paperwork landing on her doorstep, might make her reconsider.
Trying to get my head around this unbelievable situation. Sis stole your money and seriously stuffed up your future!!! Has the audacity to asked you to babysit what amounts to rendo kids ccousr you ain’t going to school anyway???? FILE A POLICE REPORT get YOUR CASH BACK and go NC before she is going after your income too.
NTA. Tell Mom SHE can watch your sister’s step kids. You don’t owe her squat after what she did.
Emily STOLE the money and possibly your future. You could press charges. Or I guess your grandparents could. Regardless , go no contact. She’s a thief and a snake. I hope you figure out a way to go to school even if it’s a class at a time. Since you got into your dream school, try to see if you can get financial aid.
NTA. I’d have told her you aren’t punishing her kids, you need to work to make money to replace what she stole from you. Very simple and true.
If your sister was on a generic savings account you likely can’t sue as she had legal access. Contact your dream college to see if you qualify for financial aid, or at least deferred admission rather than declining you admission.
Worst outcome, you’ve learned a valuable lesson early in life – who to trust and who not to trust, and to always verify that how something is done actually accomplishes the intended goal.
None of this is your fault. You grandparents meant well, but didn’t safeguard their investment for you. That could have been done simply through a trust or special account, or even them setting the money aside but still under their control until you were college age. That’s water under the bridge, though.
I’d definitely check with your dream school about financial aid, work/study programs, and deferred admission before throwing in the towel.
Ignore your mother. To use her own argument, family doesn’t do this to family. Your sister is wholly in the wrong morally, even if in the end you can’t touch her legally. And you don’t owe her squat in terms of free babysitting.
Let your mom do the babysitting. Not your problem.
The audacity of your sister and your mother… Are you sure all the money went to the kids’ tuition? Or did Sis and Mom use it for other things, too?
Sue her for it and then cut her out
Tell her she wants you to babysit it won’t be free and find out how much babysitter get paid and charge
Do you know ow what kind of fund it was, OP? Was it just a regular savings account? Or something like a 529 account. I am curious if it was a 529 set up for your benefit, if your grandparents or you could have any legal avenues to pursue your sister for breech of fiduciary duty.
Nta she stole your money and actively hiding it from you then lying to you that the moneybe repaid when it won’t be. Tell mum to baby sit you don’t owe her a thing.
She can look after her own kids she decided to have them.
NTA – but you should file a police report
She is a thief who stole your money and now she wants to steal your free time.
Please ask your mom to explain why, if “family is more important than money,” it was not grossly disloyal for your sister to make money more important than her obligations to you and her grandparents???
Have you considered taking her to court?
NTA
“No. I’m punishing you for stealing from me.”
>since “you’re not in school anymore.”
I would’ve stabbed her. NTA.
File a police report for theft. She stole from you. And then let the whole family know and cut off any of them that are siding with her.
NTA Frankly I’d never speak to her again. Also, 12 and 14 is old enough not to need a babysitter.
Sue tf out of her and make her pay it back
Your grandparents are “heartbroken”? So they’re alive? Damn AI you really suck at telling a cohesive story. Is it that hard to go around 200 words without blatant contradictions in your story?
” I’m not babysitting your step kids. I’m getting a paying job so I can go to college. And I’m suing you and your husband. Ask mom to babysit since your family is so important.”
NTA And don’t do anything for them. Ask mom why you aren’t important. Aren’t you family?
The nerve of your sister to ask you to babysit after straight up robbing you. Might be worth reaching out to s as lawyer to see if there’s anything legally you can do
I’d never speak to her again. She stole from you. Shes been married for 2 years
NTA
Sue her.
I’d be calling the police on her and pressing charges, not babysitting her kids!! She has some nerve!
Your sister’s step kids are not even related to you so how can your mother say family is more important than money? Is she really that stupid?
Tell her to use the money she stole from you to hire a babysitter.
Have your sister sign a repayment contract, & she has to make monthly payments, or else you’ll file a police report. Grandparents can back up your claim that sister had.no right to the money. Family should come before money, but you are your sister’s family, & she chose to steal money from behind your back to use on her husband’s children. She put money before you first. The audacity to ask for free labor from you is unreal. Tell her you’re going to be too busy this summer working, to try to make some of the money she stole. She’s “punishing” her own damn kids with the consequences of her selfish, deceitful actions.
Why haven’t you and your grandparents contacted a lawyer yet? Even if your sister was named as the trustee on the bank account, she didn’t have the right to take the money out for herself. File a lawsuit against her and her husband. If they can’t pay or won’t pay, get liens filed against their home so that they can never sell the house without paying you back first.
Unless your dream school was the local community college, that college fund of yours wasn’t going to pay for it anyway – you’ve already told us the fund would pay for 2 years of community college. So go to the community college. Take one or two classes at a time if you have to, while working full time. Here’s a hint: Take Accounting I and II, take Payroll Accounting, and take Intermediate Accounting I and II. Those 5 courses are enough accounting to get you a full time job as an accounting clerk/bookkeeper. Those are jobs that will not only have good hours but will pay benefits, and it sure beats flipping burgers at McDonald’s or stocking shelves at WalMart.
And don’t waste your summer. Go find a job.
OH – one more thing. You can tell your mom that if family were so important, your sister would never have stolen your college fund. But since family obviously doesn’t matter to your sister, then it can’t matter more to you. Stepkids are just going to have to go to public school for the next two years while sister pays you back.
Edited to add: NTA
You’re not punishing the kids, you’re punishing your sister who stole from you and now expects you to babysit for free. The audacity she has is unreal. Nta
Can you go to police?
Tell her you’re busy making money to pay for school since she used your money for her step kids. So you can afford to babysit for free.
Well if she was a trustee of your account and took the money for anything other what it was set aside for she’s in breach of her duties as a fiduciary. Now you need to file a police report for embezzlement and hire an attorney, who may take your case on a contingency basis. She cannot legally do what she did if they set up the trust/ 529/monetary fund correctly.
Edit: It was just a joint bank account with the two of you on the account? Then you can’t do much in that case. Sorry, that sucks. Your grandparents didn’t adequately protect the money they left you.
But as for babysitting her step-kids that got the money allocated for your education?!? Yeah she can right fuck off with that request. I wouldn’t even be speaking with her.
NTA. I probably would have stopped speaking to her like forever or something close. I would also consider suing.
Get her to confess what she did in a text. That’s proof. Also, get your grandparents on record.
After you’ve got her confession on text and your grandparents on record, tell her that she signs a loan repayment contract with payments starting now or you’re going to go nuclear on her.
What’s nuclear?
Put her on blast to everyone letting them know what she did. I’d include her employers because she’s clearly not trustworthy. And let the school know that the tuition was paid with stolen money. They’ll probably kick the kids out or not let them back in. Let her deal with the fallout with her husband.
Depending on how much she stole, you can represent yourself in small claims court.
NTA
Oh, and tell your sister that you’re not punishing her kids. You’re not letting her take advantage of you again.
Nta.
Block your mum and sister.
As for legal stuff, if it was in her name or joint with you, you’ll have difficulty getting it back. You’d need proper legal advice.
File a police report.
Dear sis,
I’m not at school anymore because I NEED to work to earn money for school because you stole it .
I’m not doing anything for free.
Not for strangers,
Not for you.
Not for those kids I share no blood with.
And actually you dear sister need to start paying back.
If not in bulk in installments untill it’s all payed up.
Ps.
You and your husband committed a crime I might look for legal advise as to us going forward.
Nta
NTA. What the hell is your sister expecting? You’re forced to work full time because she stole your money. You don’t have the time to babysit her kids for free since, again, she stole your money. You’re not punishing her kids, you’re dealing with a situation you’re in because, still, she stole your money.
>Mom says “family is more important than money” and I should let it go.
If family really is more important than money, mom can pay you pack, and then you’ll let it go.
NTA she stole your money and it’s a substantial amount as well. It was selfish and greedy of her so your definitely NTA you’d think with that stolen money she could afford a baby sitter now lol
I will start blasting her and her husband all over social media and to all of your family and friends. Sometimes public shaming is the only way to get people to do the right thing. And even if they don’t, then at least everyone will know that she’s untrustworthy. Her stepchildren didn’t need private school if the family is not financially stable. They could’ve attended public school like other children do. She didn’t have to steal from you.
NTA
Nta and don’t give in.
Talk to a lawyer and ask about options because we all know you’ll never see that money again if you don’t put some legal pressure on her. Tell your folks that if they weren’t so useless with money you wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with and if they aren’t going to be part of a solution then they need to keep quiet.
Why didn’t the grandparents keep control of that money or set up two accounts? When you are more mature you should have known this was a bad idea. And aren’t you working now as you are not going to college? This is a fake story..
Lawyer up, buttercup
F that family shit. If family meant a damn to these people your sister wouldn’t have spent that money and your mom would demand she pay you back. NTA.
This story changed, since yesterday. I call bullshit
Lawyer. Get one.
Wow….
She is the entire reason you’re not in university, currently. Using it as an excuse to get you to give more, on top of stealing your college fund from you, is a new level of entitlement.
NTA
I would’ve gotten that loan. And told your sister to just pay that off. It would’ve given her a clear plan for repayment.
NTA
stealing your college money and then saying you should babysit because you have nothing better to do now is kinda wild
I would go no contact with such a sibling. That was an absolute ahole move.
Emily can jump headfirst into an empty pool. NTA.
Sue her
Do unto others….tell Sis that you are just treating her in the same manner as she has treated you. She didn’t act like family when she took the money your grandparents saved for you & spent it on her step kids.
Why is it always ALWAYS the mother who takes the asshole’s side? Your kid is a thief. Your other kid is a victim of that. Why is it so hard to understand this very simple fact?
Mom should say the same to your sis. And make her pay back everything. Don’t let narcissists bully you.
“No Emily, I’m punishing you for something you did. The punishment is you have to figure it the fuck out for yourself and not use my free labor as an easy way out of your parenting responsibilities.”
Updateme
I’d talk to a lawyer.
YTA for posting AI garbage
Get excellent Attorney lawsuit to helping your grandparents and you getting the money back
Contact the college explaining that you truly Need Want to attend their excellent college but that your tuition money was STOLEN from you
Yes plead with the college for a second chance because you really want to be there, have chosen to be there , but your tuition money was STOLEN
The college can totally give you full scholarship if they want to give you full scholarship and they can get their legal to helping recoup the stolen money and giving you lots of legal academic social etc advise along with opportunities to work for/in the college itself in exchange for__
You are ALLOWED to publicly expose shame your worthless thieving BIL and “sister” online and sending letters to their respective employers and neighbors and police exposing PROVING everything
You are ALLOWED to do lawyers LAWSUITS
You are ALLOWED to disown this worthless thieving BIL and sister and totally permanently BLOCK them and theirs supporters on EVERYTHING
Blood doesn’t make the family Love does
You and your supporters are so totally:
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r/estateLaw
r/theftbyfamily
r/asklegal
r/legaladvice
r/college
http://www.theftwithinthefamiLy.com
http://www.recoveringstolenmoney.com
r/ethicallifetips
r/ethicallifeHackS
r/UNethicaLLifEhackS
r/UNethicaLLlifehacK
r/law
r/legal
r/lawyer
r/collegescholarshipS
r/collegeScholarshiP
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Sure, I’ll babysit. For $xx.xx per hour till the money you stole is paid back. After that, maybe I’ll consider doing it for free when I’m not studying.
Tell your mum to baby sit kids and tell your sister to go and do one and your never ever baby sitting them kids
NTA
If family is more important than money your mother can give up her money and replace your college fund.
Your sister is a selfish lunatic. Personally, I’d sever contact with her entirely.
You and your grandparents should file a police report for Grand theft. She’s so out of line that this deserves legal retaliation op. To have the audacity to rob you of several grand while asking for handouts and insulting you is just unbelievable.
She deserves to get her world rocked.
Tell mom that until SHE repays the whole college fund herself that this is none of her business. Til then she’s enabling a thief
NTA…I’d never speak to her again, personally, and would try to sue if I could.
For what it’s worth, take the student loans, make your minimum payments, and then declare bankruptcy when eligible to do so.
Education is used to gatekeep wealth. Without an education these days, you are destined to live in poverty forever…and that’s why this is such a serious violation by your sister – it is life ruining.
Nta who does your sister think she is she ruined a huge oppertunity for u and then asks u the babysit for free because u dont go to school lol. Tell her u will babysit after the pays the money back.