So I (25M) work in a mid-sized company where most of us are pretty chill, but we’re all under pressure to show initiative because there’s talk of promotions soon.
Over the last couple months, I’ve been working on a side project at home. It’s basically a dashboard tool that organizes some of our team’s data way faster than the clunky software we’re stuck with. I never promised it to the company, it was more of a “for fun/learning” project that I happened to mention casually at lunch one day. One of my coworkers (29F) immediately lit up and asked if she could demo it during her upcoming presentation to our boss. She said it would, look good for the whole team” and might “open doors for both of us.
Here’s the thing: I don’t feel comfortable with that. The tool isn’t fully finished, I’m not ready to share it, and honestly, it feels wrong that she wants to put her name on something I spent my nights and weekends building. I told her I’d rather not have it shown around yet.
She got visibly annoyed and said I was being selfish and holding back the team. A couple other coworkers gave me side eyes like i was hoarding credit. Now I feel weird, like maybe I am making it about me when it could help everyone.
But at the same time… it’s my project. Nobody asked me to do it. Nobody offered to help build it. And if I just hand it over, won’t that set the precedent that my work is free for anyone to use for their own shine?
So AITA for not letting her present something I made outside of work hours, even if it might’ve benefited the team?
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So I (25M) work in a mid-sized company where most of us are pretty chill, but we’re all under pressure to show initiative because there’s talk of promotions soon.
Over the last couple months, I’ve been working on a side project at home. It’s basically a dashboard tool that organizes some of our team’s data way faster than the clunky software we’re stuck with. I never promised it to the company, it was more of a “for fun/learning” project that I happened to mention casually at lunch one day. One of my coworkers (29F) immediately lit up and asked if she could demo it during her upcoming presentation to our boss. She said it would, look good for the whole team” and might “open doors for both of us.
Here’s the thing: I don’t feel comfortable with that. The tool isn’t fully finished, I’m not ready to share it, and honestly, it feels wrong that she wants to put her name on something I spent my nights and weekends building. I told her I’d rather not have it shown around yet.
She got visibly annoyed and said I was being selfish and holding back the team. A couple other coworkers gave me side eyes like i was hoarding credit. Now I feel weird, like maybe I am making it about me when it could help everyone.
But at the same time… it’s my project. Nobody asked me to do it. Nobody offered to help build it. And if I just hand it over, won’t that set the precedent that my work is free for anyone to use for their own shine?
So AITA for not letting her present something I made outside of work hours, even if it might’ve benefited the team?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told her no, she couldn’t present it. I felt it wasn’t finished, and it didn’t seem fair that she’d take credit for something I worked on outside office hours.
This upset her. She said I was selfish, holding back the team, and even a couple of other coworkers seemed to agree with her.
So here’s why I’m asking: My action (refusing to share) directly affected her, since it blocked her from using my tool for her presentation. I know teamwork is important, and maybe I did the wrong thing by keeping something useful to myself when it could have benefited everyone. That’s why I wonder if I was being an asshole.
But at the same time, it feels like I’d just be letting her take credit for work she didn’t do.
AITA for saying no?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
>and asked if she could demo it during her upcoming presentation to our boss. She said it would, look good for the whole team” and might “open doors for both of us.
You know she’s planning on taking all the credit? It’s YOUR work, you get to present it to your boss if you wish to.
NTA Why should “the team” get credit for something you’ve been doing off company hours? Like another commenter said, she pretty obviously just wants to steal credit for your work to try and secure a promotion. If you end up finishing the project or want to present its in-progress state, then you should be the one to do it.
They totally wanted to steal the credit.
Make sure your name is all over the code and the GitHub.
NTA. A decent person would have suggested that *you* demo it — not tried to claim credit for it themself.
NTA, It’s not ready, end of discussion.
Do not give her any more details about your project because she will likely tell your bosses that she is the one sho asked you to work on it. Any way to insert herself. Tell her its failing, if you have to. Tell your boss directly, if you choose to share it with this job at all. Just remember, once you give it to them, they own it.
NTA. You can say that as you have worked on it off-hourq and know the project in its entirety, you feel more comfortable to present it yourself when it is finished – and if your golleague is right, it will still benefit the whole team in the end.
She is 100% trying to get the credit and you just didn’t give her the satisfaction to do so. Hold your ground.
NTA. That’s wild behavior on the Co worker. I am assuming your side project is software. I wouldn’t ever share it at work and if you do make sure you have your butt covered and they aren’t entitled to your intellectual property.
I am more than 20 years older than you and have been in a corporate environment for the entirety of my career. Your coworker is attempting to politick you, and has no intention of assisting you in any manner. In fact, I’d recommend demoing your project so that she and / or the team does not come up with her own quickly to hijack the opportunity. Do not under any circumstance work alongside this person on this project and you’d best bring your idea forward before someone grabs the spotlight. My career plateaued early because I was too nice and a team player. If the project is not ready, that’s fine, but you better get a beta in front of the boss as soon as possible because I bet you one paycheck that someone on your team is working on a similar project right now to bring forward. Do not say I did not warn you. NTA here, but you will be the asshole if you do not protect yourself.
Your coworker obviously believes that you are naive and would not recognize that she was planning on stealing your idea. Don’t worry that she is upset with you – you didn’t want to be “friends” with someone like that.
NTA
NTA
She wasn’t going to present anything for the “team”
She can go do her own hard work, not mooch from you