Imagine you’ve been with your girlfriend for a while, and she moves in with you. You’ve got a collection of old video games and consoles from your childhood that take up a lot of space, but they mean a lot to you. She insists they’re clutter and wants you to sell or throw them out. You tell her no, because they’re sentimental and part of your identity. She calls you selfish for prioritizing “toys” over the shared living space.
Would I be the asshole for refusing to get rid of them?
AITA for refusing to let my girlfriend throw out my old video game collection?
r/AITAH
Comments
imagine writing a post like a normal human and not whatever this is.
just tell your tale man
No. Hell no. That’s something that’s clearly 1. A hobby you have and 2. Something of great sentimental value to you. If you asked to throw away something she cherished, it would probably be a very different story, right?
Collections aren’t clutter, they’re history. If she can’t respect the stuff that shaped you, she’s not respecting you either. Shared space doesn’t mean erasing personal space. The consoles survived childhood moves and years of dust, they’ll survive her too.
NTA its your collection.
NTA. Everyone has things that matter to them. Your collection is sentimental and part of who you are. Moving in together means compromise, not one person dictating what gets thrown out
NTA, this is one of those things you learn about someone when moving in together. If they’re sentimental to you and truly have a deep meaning, then you have every right to keep them. Is there any kind of compromise you can come to? Obviously, we dont know how they’re stored at the moment, but maybe it’s possible to move things around a bit?
She’s moving in with you and wants the space to be a shared one, so it stops being his and hers and starts being yours together. Moving in together can be stressful and feel like a battle, but it doesn’t have to be. Communication is the only thing that will help this situation.
NTA but if you have a billion of them maybe you could find somewhere else to store some of them.
NTA – she is trying to assert control by carving off your hobbies and collections. She ain’t the one if she’s jealous of some PCB boards and plastic controllers.
Obviously not. Common sense would dictate that you’re not.
Appropriate response: Get your shit and get out.
It’s your apartment, you say what stays and goes, and she goes. NTA.
As long as they’re well stored and away from main living spaces it’s fine. I have a large collection of vintage fabric and vintage Christmas decor and I keep them all in plastic cartons with lids in the basement.
YTA. Shared living space is a priority. If your games are cluttering the space, then you need to solve for it.
The solution doesn’t have to be throwing them away. But you can certainly find a way to store them neatly and out of the way (and out of sight – they aren’t decor) so they don’t create clutter.
NTA
Word of advice, protect your collection. In my experience people who suddenly start asking for you to give up your possessions upon cohabiting, will either arrange for little “accidents” to break them or will throw away or sell them the moment your back is turned.
In a time where companies push the narrative that you just acquire licenses to play games, not the copy itself AND can just make the online version of the game unplayable… having AND KEEPING the game disk (or whatever storage device) just makes sense
Edit: oh right. NTA
Nta.
>that take up a lot of space
Well, details matter here. How much space is ‘a lot of’ space? How many consoles are we talking about? 3 or 9? How many games are we talking about? 20 or 150?
Are they in a separate bedroom and out of the way, in a living room/family room? Does it dominate the living space?
Is it all relatively neat on a few shelves and there’s space to comfortably put other things, or does it absolutely occupy everything in the living room?
You tell her they are sentimental, but you don’t mention playing the games, so are they just decoration or do some/all get regularly used?
Nta. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t understand my fundamentals? I love retro gaming and gaming in general, if I’m in a relationship it’s with someone who shares that interest or can atleast respect me enough to let me have my own interests as I would for them.
NTA. They’re your items, and they hold a lot of sentimental value.
Honestly, you need to make it clear it’s a hard line. If they “go missing” while you’re gone, you will break up with her. Tell her that her constant disrespect for your hobby already out her on thin ice.
Yta. Why did you invite someone into your space if you were unwilling to make room for that person? Why would you invite someone to be a partner with you if there’s no space to show or build that partnership? You moved in together presumably to be able to live your life together. That means you figure out HOW TO ADULT.
Are these games playable? If yes- then play some, box up what you don’t and rotate through.
If they’re not playable, But worth money? Box them up and keep them. I seriously doubt this since you did play them and they can’t be played anymore.
If they’re not playable and not worth any money? Throw some away or box them up to store. Keep ONE SYSTEM/A COUPLE GAMES out on a single shelf as a display!!
In ANY of the above, most can be boxed up and stored! The fact you THINK old games are part of your identity is a problem. They were a hobby, an item from the past, NOT WHO YOU ARE!
If you can’t create space for another person and also allow for space that belongs to BOTH of you, you should never have let someone move in with you. If you are so attached to junk that you can’t either neatly display for nostalgia, throw out, or neatly store, then you’re not an adult. She should not just toss, but you should absolutely be willing to move it or work with her to create space for both of you!
NTA
Your stuff, your place. Now that she voiced her true feelings, put them under lock and key. IF it was my situation, I’d protect my collectibles and if they were destroyed/stolen, she’d be gone.
NTA. Those are part of a hobby that’s important to you, your life history and you’ve made it clear that they aren’t going anywhere. I guarantee you there’s also stuff in your collection that would be difficult to replace given how expensive retro gaming is these days. Please make sure she understands the gravity of what she’s suggesting. She needs to have more respect for your interests and what you value, even if she isn’t personally interested in gaming.
NTA for refusing to let her throw them out; but is there a compromise available? Like, can you pack them up so they take up less space?
If you offer a solution that solves the issue she’s claiming to care about – shared living space – and she refuses that, then you know that it’s not really about the space.
NTA but don’t be a hoarder dude. If you don’t use them but you want to keep thme, pack them up. and if, after a couple years, you haven’t got them out again, consider clearing them out. I’m looking at an n64 right now that my wife never played so I feel your pain, but when you admit they take up “a lot of space”, it sounds to me like you kind of know deep down that she might have a point.
If she’s moved in with you, that’s her home now, you love her, you want her to feel comfortable, not like she’s crashing at someone elses place. Imagine if it was the other way around and her childhood toys were taking up that much room.
I’m a woman and you are NTA! I would never throw them out. I told my kids that I want an NES for Christmas 😊 I wish I still had all my old consoles
NTA obviously. But is it displayed? And if not, could it be so that it doesn’t take up so much room? There are so many cool ideas when you Pinterest search ‘video game display’. But also–protect that stuff. It’s gonna go missing or she’s going to ‘accidentally’ break something, or just straight up sell it from under you.
Keep the video games throw the girlfriend out. Problem solved.
Also ask to throw out some old clothes or makeup. So she understands
NTA, as long as they aren’t actually behaving like clutter. Are they coated in dust and/or not neatly displayed? If either is a yes, tidy them up!
But her even asking in such a dismissive way is a huge red flag. Probably the most colorful thing about her, she sounds beige.
NTA – 2 options really.
Compromise, you get a ‘man cave’ and move over your stuff. The cave is your place where she isn’t welcome.
You set the GF out for the next garbage run.
ESH.
Her for obvious reasons – you’re allowed to have a hobby. Though if they take a LOT of space, I hour you’re not paying 50/50 on rent…
You for claiming that collecting games is an “identity”. I think I sprained my eyes by rolling them too hard.
Hey man been around. I think you know the answer, no you’re not in this context. I totally get the feeling. I felt like it was my space, first find room since I’m including you. But I was wrong after I thought about it.
So we decided on getting a storage room that should be shared. At first I used it more since I was military. But She used it more than me(decorations and all that) Storage is always an option? I’m going to be honest after I moved my trophies I forgot about them.
Collections aren’t clutter, to be honest I don’t think a bunch of games can’t fit in a box either tho. You just have to express why it’s important (I.e I had this thing of collecting random crap from countries I goto. Like I went to Georgia the country and came back with a rock named Steve that I drew boobs on it. Steve was hot. It’s stupid but it’s an important memory of my friends that needed to be on my shelf.)
Relationships are about comprising. But if you’re a regular dude like me and aren’t chronically online and really care about your girl. Tbh bro suck it up if it’s not to unreasonable. If that doesn’t work welcome to man caves. Unless it’s like body pillows and weird figurines then yeah most girls find it weird because it is.
TLDR: if you love her. Pick your battles. Let your words carry weight for a real argument bro, if both can’t comprise then it’s unhealthy.
NTAH. I can see where you are coming from op. I am very lucky as me and my partner both love games. Actually I’m an art student and am looking at some older games at the moment for my project. However as a woman I can slightly see where she is coming from. ONLY SLIGHTLY.
On one hand I love games but on the other hand I like being tidy and making sure my games are well kept into one small space (i also have a lot) i almost had to compromise with myself in a way. I didnt want to throw away all of my games (not even some of them to make some space)
The compromise I made with myself was this, if I fidnt want to throw them away in around a week of thinking about it, I would make a space for them. I currently have them (the ones I dont have a consol for anymore, so can’t play them) in a box under my bed. This worked for saving space and that way i could look back at them when I wanted a trip down memory lane. Also not seeing them all the time made this sweeter.
However seen as you are saying your gf wants you to get rid of them I have come to this conclusion. She may not be aware of how sentimental you are to them. You could talk to her about this and explain it in a way she would understand. For example if she isnt from a gaming background but loves something like makeup and has a large collection, you could use this as an example to her. You could also talk to her about compromising, you don’t throw away the games but can talk to her about a storage situation that you are both happy with.
I hope any of this helps. Tho 100% if she still doesn’t get it I wouldnt waste any more time with her as if she doesn’t back down from this then there will be other things in the future that she wont want you to keep
Throw her out. You don’t move in and throw away your partners stuff. NTA
Hell no! I’m a woman and I wish I still had my n64 and my Dreamcast! I would buy shelving and put them neatly there as a sort of display but I’m not throwing them away. If she doesn’t want to let it be tell her she can move back out. You’re not married and she doesn’t seem to care about things that matter to you, no matter how “childish” it seems
From a girl (also gamer though) with a boyfriend who also has a collection of old video games and consoles, NTA as long as she gets space for her stuff as well.
Also presentation, how do you display the collection? My boyfriend has his old games in the TV furniture that has glass doors, keeps it neat and tidy so he can show them off and use them (i would not have liked it if it looked messy and took up a lot of space)
But if you’re keeping them in some sort of space so she can’t have her stuff somewhere, then YTA
My boyfriend wanted to buy a pinball machine, but felt that I might dislike it since it takes a lot of space, I said it was fine as long as he allowed me to get another bookshelf, it’s all about compromise
NTA
If you don’t put your foot down now, she will ruin you.
NTA.
She has moved into your space. Yours.
It’s not hers.
NO!!!! Run man
NTA.
Get rid of the girlfriend first. She’s come into your space and started being controlling about what you have. The next step is for her to wait until you’re out and take them to the dump. You wouldn’t be the first person it happened to.
Nta, keep your stuff safe though OP.
HELLS NO.
I will forever be enraged by my own mother tossing out the games she bought for us kids. Her own money spent on all those systems and games. And she dumped them in water one day to get “even” at us 3 kids. 3 systems and countless games destroyed over a jealous being jealous?
Please take photos of all of them now, catalog them if you can. Shes going to pawn them when you aren’t home ans then gift you something stupid with the money she got from pawning them. And she will keep whatever is left of that money. Tell her if your games go missing, she’s the first suspect. To me, this relationship is already over. Shes already trying to SELL a hobby of yours. Years of collecting. She doesn’t care, she doesn’t “understand” = she does not respect you and your things the same equal ways you do. NTA but your soon to be ex gf is.
Nah tell her to eat that dick after that super smash bros. Melee
NTA. Do you absolutely have to move in with her? She seems like a selfish person herself about to become abusive. No one has the right to throw out your property, but I’m afraid that she will do it when you’re not home. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
I’m a woman who has a moderate collection of older consoles.
If my partner was acting like this to me I’d be kicking them to the curb, just saying.
Be very careful. She may well end up throwing it all out while you’re at work or college or out and she’s home alone.
Nah, honestly. The collection’s been there longer than your GF. Also, if/when y’all break up, you’ll regret throwing out your old video game collection. NTA.
My boyfriend doesn’t even live with me because he lives with his parents to help them out. I have let him bring some of his sentimental stuff to mine and display it because he can’t at their house, and it is important to him.
NTA, but you will be if you get rid of your collection.
They are your property, she doesn’t get to decide whether you need them or not.
NTA. Ditch the girlfriend and protect your collection.
OP, this is a complex situation
Discussions like this should happen BEFORE moving in
When you share a space, you have to compromise and consider each other’s feelings about how to utilise the space.
Wouldn’t have mattered if you lived in a castle, but most of us don’t.
You are right for not wanting to get rid of your past passion, but she is also right to expect her space in the shared space
Both of you will have to meet in the middle. You can’t be ” I won’t get rid of any of them” and she can’t be “everything needs to go”. That way, a break up will only be the affable solution
I am going with NAH here
Erm…your life’s work collecting? And she sees it as collecting dust. My bf looked at mine and said “you could really make some money off this” well A) I already sold stuff I could part with that had financial worth, and I like my collection, so no. Maybe reorganize them somehow or reorganize her out of your life, but a good rule of thumb is if you move in together and there’s an expectation you remove you from the house to fit in it, don’t live together because she hasn’t accommodated for you to exist.
How much space are we talking? Do you use them?
NTA. You’re gonna need to keep a solid eye on them though in case they “go missing”.
NTA, Lmao, I think what you meant to say is your ex girlfriend.
You shouldnt waste a second more of your time, much less your life, on someone who has zero respect for your interests and possessions. That’s not how you treat another human being, period, much less your supposed partner.
She doesn’t respect you, you’re probably just a ‘misbehaving possession’ to her.
NTA. I’d rather kick her out.