So here I am (55F, fabulous and functioning), sipping my chamomile and enjoying early retirement, when my grown-assson (30M) calls me practically begging to borrow my car for two months because he got into a “small accident.” Translation: he wrecked his Toyota trying to “park fast.” Mind you, this is the same man who once called me “outdated” for still driving a sleek sedan instead of some clunky electric shoebox.
I told him no. Point blank. And not because I’m spiteful—but because I’ve seen how he drives. He’s all gas, no grace. I still have flashbacks of the time he used my car at 19 and got rear-ended and called it “not his fault.” Baby, if people keep rear-ending you, maybe you’re the problem.
Now suddenly I’m the villain because I won’t hand over the keys to my low-mileage Lexus that I baby like it’s my fourth child. He hit me with, “Wow, I always knew you’d say no,” and “I didn’t say anything when you used to mess up my stuff.” Sir, you mean when I accidentally broke your Xbox controller in 2007?
But here’s the real kicker: this man-child has a girlfriend, age 40, fully licensed and very available, but refuses to ask her for help. Wonder why? Maybe because even she knows he drives like he’s in a Fast & Furious movie with a learner’s permit.
I love my son, but I’m not letting his midlife chaos tank my insurance. So, AITA for putting my sanity (and premium discount) above his ego? I mean… I could let him borrow the Lexus… if I suddenly developed a taste for public transport and heartbreak.
Comments
You’re a legend defending your Lexus from demolition derby energy. Letting him drive it would be like handing a toddler a Fabergé egg and saying “run.”
you’re not a villain for protecting your car and your peace. What you should do is stand firm, he’s a grown man with other options, and your Lexus isn’t one of them.
NTA. You’re protecting your car, your peace, and your insurance from someone who’s clearly got a lead foot and no accountability. He’s 30, not 13. If he can wreck a car trying to “park fast,” he can figure out a rental or ask his grown-ass girlfriend. You’re not a villain, you’re a realist with a Lexus and standards.
NTA – not only because you can’t trust him with it, but you need the car yourself. How does he think you’re supposed to get around? And he has probably already asked his girlfriend and she knows better.
Congrats on being retired early enough to enjoy it!
NTA – for so many reasons, protect your peace and your Lexus and carry on calling out this man child for his crappy behaviour!
Absolutely not the asshole, he needs to grow up and learn that he can’t get hand outs in life and needs to live up to his mistakes. If anything its a good learning opportunity for him to get his shit together
Italics? Check!
Quotation marks like pepper on a salad? Check!
Em dash? Check!
This reads like it’s AI-generated.
NTA your son drives like he’s trying to unlock a secret level in Mario Kart and somehow thinks he’s entitled to your Lexus. If his girlfriend won’t let him touch her car either, that’s not a red flag—it’s a billboard. Let him figure out how to park slow for once.
NTA
But how did he end up so irresponsible? Either way at his age its time he takes responsibility and stops looking to others to keep bailing his lazy ass out.
NTA If he had decent insurance, it would pay for a rental while his car was being fixed. I bet his doesn’t have his car properly insured, and there’s a good chance he has a suspended license as well. Time for golden boy to learn there are consequences to his immaturity.
NTA. He’s 30 not 13. If he can’t handle a car responsibility, he doesn’t get to borrow yours. Simple as that.
Y’all really falling for this AI crap?
Public transportation won’t hurt him any.
NTA, FOFA he can suddenly grow a fondness for public transportation. Or he can try to rent a car. That’s even if his credit is good.
Just leave this here:
https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1jxiw6i/aitah_for_refusing_to_lend_my_dad_my_car_after_he/
Entitled, needs to learn. If he had insurance he should have a rental car provided. If not, he made that choice and needs to figure out how to manage life. Do not borrow car. Good for you!
NTA
Good. For. You.
You’re still trying to teach him the consequences of his actions, stay strong, hopefully one day he’ll mature a bit more.
Ask him why you should go without a car? Is he going to chauffeur you to your appointments, social activities and errands?
He should rent a car.
NTA… if he didn’t drive like a butt nugget I would say accidents happen. Happened to my kids when young and I let them borrow my car. But they drive careful and someone ran a stop sign. I can’t blame them for it
NTA.
It doesn’t take an insurance company 2 months to pay out on a totalled car. If it’s just damaged, it won’t take 2 months to repair unless it’s made of Lego.
Direct him to the nearest car rental company.
NTA. You know you’re not.
Consequences well overdue.
First of all I like the way you write lol, secondly do NOT let him use ur shit…his girlfriend, buses and Uber exist
“I’ve seen you drive. The answer is now and always will be no.”
NTA
NTA for not letting him barrow your car. Raising a “man child” on the other hand… Tough love shouldn’t have waited till he was 30.
NTA. It seems like all the women in his life know what time it is when it comes to his driving
I don’t let people borrow my car. They wouldn’t fix or replace it if they break or crash it. People like to take things and if they disrespect them then they try to make you look like the bad guy when they screw up the stuff. No is a complete sentence.
I agree with you on every single solitary point that you have made. Not one of them am I against you on whatsoever except for one and one only
“I still have
flashbacks of the time he
used my car at 19 and got
rear-ended and called it “not his
fault.” Baby, if people keep
rear-ending you, maybe you’re
the problem.”
I’m sorry but we’re ending someone if he’s the one who did the rear ending then yes absolutely it’s 100% his fault but being rear-ended by somebody else isn’t their fault In fact insurance companies recognize rear ending as being not the person who gets rear-endeds fault I have another point on this your statement says I still have flashbacks to the time he borrowed my car when he was 19 and got rear-ended and said it wasn’t his fault and then you state baby if you keep getting rear ended he only got rear-ended one time by your statement I kind of think you are being an a**
You are 100% A-Okay 👏🏻 He needs to stop expecting others to make his life easier. He’s grown up and needs to take responsibility for his own actions. Tough love. I approve 😄
This has to be a drunk post or a teenager.
NTA. My parents should have take a page from your book when I was younger bc I was a disaster on the road.
(Though, I will say this. If he got rear-ended, that’s not only not his fault, it’s not his fault by almost ALL legal standards save three – if his brake lights were out, if he was brake checking someone, or if he cut someone off to the point it caused an accident. But otherwise, he absolutely as not at fault. Sorry, I’m a stickler for this shit.)
He thinks he’s a pirate but he’s really just pyrite
NTA. Borrowing a car for two months seems extreme. Maybe for an afternoon but two months is crazy. His crash also begs the question— did he have his truck insured? If he did have his truck insured, he should replace it. If he can’t get insurance because of his driving record, it would be prudent to say No to his request.
NTA But your son sure has a solid set of balls to have the nerve to even ask. He wants your car because with his driving record it will cost him a fortune to rent one; which leads to another question. Most all insurance now days gives you a rental car for the duration of repairs. That he CHOSE not to pay for that option (or was declined?) says it all. He needs to step into his big boy pants and take responsibility for his entire ‘misadventure’ and YOU don’t have to play. Keep your Lexus, allow your son to learn this lesson, and keep on being fabulous and functioning 🙂
I hear there are these businesses that let you rent one of their vehicles maybe he’s heard of them too.
No you’re an asshole for posting AI
Nta. He can Uber or get a temp.
He can rent a car, or uber/taxi/whatever’s in his area. He can walk certain places or get rides with friends. He might even be able to get a car rental covered by his insurance. Borrowing your car is not his only option.
Edit: If he did borrow your car, and he crashed it, insurance would refuse to pay out, since it’s not his car.
NTA. Perhaps you could give him a few bucks towards buying another vehicle, but stay firm on not loaning him your nice car.
Maybe report him to dmv and get his license pulled. Some folks can’t drive worth a damn while others just don’t try to. Either way he shouldn’t be driving.
Go you. You said no to the man-child and he’s having a tanty about it. His response only shows what a child he still is. Tell him to rent a car for 2 months, although I’m willing to bet he knows he’s likely to cause an accident in it, and be sure to hide all the keys to your car so he can’t find them.