So I’m 23, I just moved into my first apartment after saving for two years while working hard and studying full time at the same time. My mom and I have always had a kinda rocky relationship ,she was supportive sometimes, but shealso made a lot of decisions that left us unstable growing up as kids.
So recently she asked if she could please stay with me “just for a few months” to get back on her feet. And I was considering it until I just randomly decided to checked my old bank account for some reason (the one she used to help me set up as a teen) and saw multiple withdrawals I was sure i never made, small amounts over time that added up to almost $2,000.
So i then I confronted her, she didn’t deny it. Just said she “needed it more at the time” and figured I’d be fine. I told her I couldn’t trust her in my space anymore after that, and now she’s telling family I’m heartless for not helping my own mother.
Some relatives are saying I’m overreacting and should just forgive her because “she gave me life,” but I feel completely betrayed.
AITA for saying no?
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So I’m 23, I just moved into my first apartment after saving for two years while working hard and studying full time at the same time. My mom and I have always had a kinda rocky relationship ,she was supportive sometimes, but shealso made a lot of decisions that left us unstable growing up as kids.
So recently she asked if she could please stay with me “just for a few months” to get back on her feet. And I was considering it until I just randomly decided to checked my old bank account for some reason (the one she used to help me set up as a teen) and saw multiple withdrawals I was sure i never made, small amounts over time that added up to almost $2,000.
So i then I confronted her, she didn’t deny it. Just said she “needed it more at the time” and figured I’d be fine. I told her I couldn’t trust her in my space anymore after that, and now she’s telling family I’m heartless for not helping my own mother.
Some relatives are saying I’m overreacting and should just forgive her because “she gave me life,” but I feel completely betrayed.
AITA for saying no?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. What action I took
I refused to allow my mom move in with me after I found out she had been secretly withdrawing money from my savings account without telling me.
She’s now telling family that I’m selfish and ungrateful for not helping her, and some relatives agree. I’m starting to wonder if I was too harsh and whether I should’ve given her a second chance instead of cutting her off like that.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA i would do the same, a mother should never do that
NTA. Our parents are supposed to teach us not to steal, not steal themselves.
Obviously no, NTA. she is a manipulative woman
NTA. Mom needs to grow up.
NTA. I can’t even imagine the betrayal of having your mom steal from you. Hopefully you can repair your relationship some day (which would require her to show true remorse for what she did) but don’t have her move in with you now.
NTA – those relatives are welcome to pay you the $ she stole from you and also let her stay with them.
NTA you don’t owe her anything as her child.
Either she owes you that money back or she stole it from you and cannot be trusted; and since you didn’t mention her offering to pay it back we can assume it’s stealing.
NTA. Tell the family members who are telling you that you are wrong that they can have her in their personal space and watch how fast they backtrack.
It is completely reasonable to not want someone who stole from you to move into your home. Trust takes time to rebuild, and she’s going to have to do the work to rebuild it, not just insist you should trust her because she incubated you.
NTA. Your mother is a thief. Cut her off completely and close that bank account and any she may have access to. You owe her nothing.
NTA, all the flying monkeys going after you. Tell them she stole money out of your account and you don’t need her in your apartment trying to figure out how to access your checking account or credit.
NTA she can’t be trusted and tell you family to let her stay with them
Protect yourself. She can’t be trusted and stole from you! Block the people who are trying to protect her and change your bank account to another bank. You “helped her” with $2000 that she stole from you. You can’t trust her. Block her.
NTA, but you studied, worked and saved for your first apartment, but never checked or used a savings account where $2,000 had been withdrawn during the two years in question? You knew the account was there and should’ve had thousands of dollars in it, but never checked or used it while working towards having a place of your own?