So I (29F) have a pet ferret Noodles. He’s super friendly and curious, and I let him free roam when I’m home. My friend Kara (28F, fake name) came over last weekend for wine night with a few of our other friends. She showed up wearing this very extra silk dress, said she had a date after and didn’t have time to change.
I told her maybe not the best outfit for a casual girls night but whatever. Well, at one point she gets up to go to the kitchen and Noodles, being the menace he is, bolts toward her and jumps up. His little claws snag the back of her dress and it tears maybe a 1/2” slit. She screams, freaks out, and runs into the bathroom sobbing.
The whole vibe died instantly. I felt bad but also like… you wore a $900 dress to drink boxed wine on my carpet with a literal ferret present??
Anyway, she sends me a Venmo request later that night for $920. apparently the dress is from some vintage designer and the repair requires specialist fabric sourcing. I declined the request. She sent it again. I declined again.
Now she’s telling everyone I’m irresponsible and letting my rodent ruin people’s things. She even told our group chat that I let Noodles drink wine (he just sniffed the glass one time???). My other friends are split. Some say I should pay at least something, others say Kara’s being dramatic.
Then today… her lawyer dad sent me a letter saying I’m liable for damages. I literally laughed out loud. Like, what judge is gonna look at me and say “yes, pay $900 because your ferret got excited about silk.”
So. AITA or is this entire thing completely unhinged?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My ferret ripped my friends dress while she was at my house but she knows I have a ferret that I let free roam so she should have known better than to wear the dress, however maybe I’m supposed to pay for it or some of it? I don’t think so but I wanna see what other people think because my friend group is pretty split on what I should do.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
ESH. Can she not take it to a tailor and have it repaired? I think it’s crazy that she’s sending you the full price for a replacement. However, if she sent over a reasonable bill for the dress being mended, I think that’d be fair because your pet did damage her property.
Edited to add on here- by reasonable I mean like $200-300 or so for repairing silk. Alternatively, if the dress can’t be fixed a compromise needs to be made. I.e. splitting the cost of a new dress, or you paying for 2/3 of the cost
ESH and I say that as a ferret owner. I understand free-roaming. Mine are but I tend to put them away when guests over just for general safety. Guests tend to be less good about not leaving doors open, leaving alcohol accessible and not accidentally hurting ferret as not used to something small and fast by feet. And ferrets can intimidate some guests.
And you noticed she was dressed inappropiately. I’d have offered a cover-up at least. I have to take tights with me to put on in the train toilets sometimes as otherwise not getting out house with them intact. Ferrets and sheer fabrics just don’t go well together.
All that said, she decided to take the risk and you did warn her. I’d probably have offered something towards repair but not covering total cost of dress. Invisible mending shouldn’t be that expensive.
A dress that expensive should carry its own insurance. And once her Dad started threatening legal action, I’d be done trying to compromise.
Offer to pay the cost of a regular repair. You def owe her something, but a rip shouldn’t require a brand new dress. If she knew of your ferret beforehand it’s reasonable she shouldn’t have with such a costly piece
ESH. Honestly you are coming across as a bit judgemental about her outfit, she might have had no time to change or maybe she was really feeling great in it and wanted to show her friends and get hyped up, like friends usually do, I don’t think it’s too weird.
I get that you see your ferret as friendly and well meaning but any animal jumping up someone has the chance of going wrong. It’s always a risk something might get damaged or someone trips and hurts themselves.
I think it’s too much for you to pay the whole amount but some seems fair even when she is acting over the top right now. I think you should also look at how you might have been too dismissive making her feel worse, so action – reaction.
YTA, possibly ESH. Your friend was in a bind, time wise, and had to wear clothes that weren’t suitable for your occasion. You couldn’t have helped her out? You couldn’t have kept the pet in another room for a couple hours?
Does your friend know you have ferrets? Does your friend know how excitable ferrets are, and how sharp their claws are? If so, ESH. She took the risk. If not, YTA and kinda not a great host.
ESH
Your pet did damage her dress. I think many people would not have their ferret free roaming if they are hosting people.
However her charge is expensive for a rip. There are businesses that can mend and reweave and so it might be reasonable to either pay for the repair or offer to split the cost of a repair.
Honestly if I were visiting a friend with a pet ferret or lizard or equivalent animal in a very expensive delicate dress, I would have asked if the animal could be caged while I was there or just have left because I would assume that a trailing silk dress would have been irresistable,
YTA. If your pet ruined her dress in your home, then you’re responsible. The price doesn’t matter. And it’s not your place to police what she wears. You should replace it and learn a valuable lesson–if you host and you have a pet that’s a “menace” you should probably put that pet in another room. And yes, I’m a pet-lover who rescues everything. But even I understand that I’m responsible if my animals mess up someone else’s things.
YTA You are absolutely responsible for your pets actions. If you allowed it to free roam you need take responsibility. I honestly completely agree with your friend. Others are saying accidents happen, but this was not an accident. She didn’t spill something on it or rip, your animal jumped on her. “Noodles, being the menace he is, bolts toward her and jumps up. His little claws snag the back of her dress and it tears.” How is this not your fault?
YTA. Your animal does these types of things, you know it and you still let him loose to do it.
YTA, you’re responsible for your pet jumping on someone
You should pay.
YTA, as pet owners we are always responsible for the damages our pets incur.
In saying that however, your friend should have tried to get it fixed at a tailoring business before trying to place such a large bill on your hands. Either way, you are responsible for the repair or new dress.
INFO: Did she know that Noodles was a free roaming ferret before she came over? Ie: has she been over before and seen him free roaming?
ESH. But honestly moreso you than her. Should she have worn an expensive dress to your house? Probably not. And she should be able to take the dress to a tailor and get it fixed – I really don’t see why she can’t do that and why she wants the full price to replace it. HOWEVER, your pet is your responsibility. Your attitude is “well, he’s just a menace!” as if that absolves you of any responsibility. Maybe it’s true that he’s a menace, but you need to make sure he’s under control when you have company, especially if this kind of behavior is common. That doesn’t mean put him in a cage or something, just hold him/keep him close, because you never know what will happen. It’s not only for the safety and sanity of your guests, but it’s for his safety too. Because of your negligence, little menace Noodles damaged your friend’s property. You should at least talk to her about seeing what can be done in terms of getting the dress fixed, because if she’s able to do that, you should cover that cost.
FYI I’m saying all this as a pet owner who understands that my pets can’t have the same kind of freedom when guests are over that they can have when it’s just me. My cat’s an ass and my dog is anxious and it’s my job to not let things with them get out of hand when there are people at my house. Just like it’s your job to rein in Noodles when you have company.
OP, a judge could very much insist you pay damages that your animal caused. While yes it’s ridiculous to wear an expensive dress to a casual evening, that doesn’t automatically mean she’s fair game to have it damaged by a friend who owns a pet. I dont think you’d have to pay the full cost but I wouldn’t be so sure to laugh it off. I’ve heard even more petty lawsuits
YTA, your pet damaged her dress, end of story. Pay up, Buttercup
YTA for letting your pet attack someone.
YTA- You invited company to your house. All you had to do was put your pet up. If I was your friend I wouldn’t think it would be an issue meeting up at your apartment before a date in a nice dress. You shouldn’t be so callous of the fact that your pet jumped on your invited guest and ruined her dress.
I don’t think you’re the AH, but I do think a judge would see you responsible for the damages, maybe not $920, she’d have to prove that’s really what the cost is to repair it. She was dumb for wearing that knowing the risks, but courts look at legal liability not how smart someone’s decisions were. It depends what your states laws are. She’s trying to scare you with her lawyer dad, but the farret is your animal, you are responsible for its actions, especially in your house. You warning her shows you knew the risk of leaving the farret out while she was there. You both didn’t take reasonable actions to stop the damage.
YTA
Your pet attacked her, yes pay for the dress
ESH.
Ask her to send you a copy of the estimate from a tailor.
Asking you to pay the full $900 is wrong IMO, but so is your stance that you should only pay $20-$40 for a vintage silk repair. Realisticly that repair will cost about $200-300, and it would be fair for you each to pay half. She should have accepted the risk wearing silk to a casual gathering where an animal was present (assuming she knew of the ferret), and you should have put away your pet when having guests over.
YTA, your pet caused damages, you need to file a claim with your homeowners or renters insurance and pay the lady.
Yes you are the AH. “I told her maybe not the best outfit for a casual girls night but whatever” that was a AH comment right there even after she told you why she was extra dressed up. Second, your animal damaged her dress. You are responsible for what your animal does.
I would feel awful if my pet did this, and I would have immediately offered to pay something (not full price), even if it happened in my hone.
I even paid when a guest of mine ripped open their silk blouse on a chair in my garden, that had a splinter sticking out (though it was covered by my insurance in the end).
Leaning heavily toward YTA. When you invited her to your home, you assumed a legal duty, like it or not. If I were in your shoes, I would call the father and ask him if he was willing to negotiate for the reasonable cost of repair. A couple hundred dollars. And the next time you invite people over, for God sake put the ferret away.
You’re getting a bit of a sympathy bump in the comments for having a cute pet that someone was rude to. YTA.
YTA- It’s your pet, you didn’t put it away, you seem to be saying it’s obvious this would happen because she wore the dress, but yet it wasn’t so obvious you thought to put away your pet?
Yup. Sorry to say but by law you are responsible, you could maybe dispute the amount but it’s your house, your pet, there was another post about a brother getting his computer destroyed by his sisters hyperactive son pouring juice in it and she is 100% liable. If u damage someone else’s property u are liable no ifs or buts.
YTA. You are responsible for your pet in your home. But instead you are blaming the victim: but look what she was wearing! She was asking for it.
Where have I heard that before?
YTA. You should not have a pet free roaming in your home when people are over if it is not trained to not jump on people. Yeah it’s weird that your friend would wear a super expensive dress to a casual hang but you’re the irresponsible one here for not having better control of your pet. $900 is ridiculous for repairing a tear in a dress but since your pet was the one that damaged it then you are responsible for paying to fix it. You at the very least could try and come to a compromise with her on this.
Sorry your animal damaged the dress but you need to pay.
YTA if you know your pet is a menace it’s your job to mitigate damage
You sounds like my mom after her dog bit her friend. Hint, you don’t want to sound like my mom.
YTA
Putting your ferret away while people are over was an option. You are responsible for the damage and need to pay up
In the state I’m in, owners are liable for any damages to someone else’s property.
While I think she could have made better choices too -legally (if in the US) she may have a case.
Gotta look up the states laws.
INFO You’re obviously judging her for wearing an expensive dress to be in your home. Did you warn people that your pet is a menace, your words, and that they should dress accordingly?
YTA, do I think you should have to pay $900? Probably not but your flippant attitude is what makes you an AH. Your pet is your responsibility. You should be offering to pay something (even if its not that much) because your animal destroyed another person’s property. If you can’t afford to cover damages when your animal does stuff like this then don’t invite people over or put your animal away when you have guests. No one should have to “suit up” to be a guest at your house. The idea you can’t control your pet and you expect guests to just deal with it is beyond irresponsible. People are responsible for what their children and pets destroy. Can’t accept responsibility for another living creature? Don’t be a pet owner.
You pet, your responsibility, YTA.
If I were you I would offer her at least $400.
YTA your pet ruined the dress, it doesn’t matter if it was the right or wrong thing to wear, your pet is directly your responsibility
It was your pet – so it’s your bill – YTA.
Definitely YTA. Your pet damaged someone’s property; as the owner, you should pay for the damages.
YTA: your pet isn’t as cute and harmless in everyone else’s view as it is in yours.
YTA
Yes, she wore an overly nice dress, but your pet damaged that dress. That makes you responsible. I get that you felt it inappropriate for a girls’ night but she did have plans after and while it might not be to the standards of boxed wine, it’s also just a low key girls’ night. It’s not unfair for her to not suspect her clothes to get damaged. My friends and I have many the pets of varying forms and no one has ever had their clothes ruined by said critters. If she had spilled wine on herself, that’d be on her.
The best thing you can do is work with her to see if there is a more cost effective way to have this repaired, as surely there must be. If there’s really not, then just see if she will accept less I guess.
Yta. Your let was clearly stressed that he attacked someone. The owner is at fault for attacks. That pet should not be roaming around a busy house.
Ferrets are a tripping hazzard, like someone could very easily accidentally kill it by stepping or sitting on it.
Bad owner, bad host, and bad friend.
The shitty part is that the 920 will not replace the dress that was likely one of a kind.
Yta! Your animal ripped her clothes. How dense are you?
Yta- come on man. You should have put the ferret away. Your pet, whom you are responsible for, ruined her property. Yes you are responsible.
You could get sued and you would likely lose. Apologize and pay up.
YTA. You let your pet ruin her possessions/ clothes. Doesn’t matter what it costs. Good luck winning in court. Better pay her before you pay for court costs too.
>Then today… her lawyer dad sent me a letter saying I’m liable for damages. I literally laughed out loud. Like, what judge is gonna look at me and say “yes, pay $900 because your ferret got excited about silk.”
As a matter of fact, it’s quite likely that they could. Many states in the US have “strict liability” laws regarding damage caused by unrestrained domestic animals. Sometimes it specifies the type of animal, sometimes it doesn’t, but you could 100% lose this lawsuit and be forced to pay. I think most lawyers would look at it and say the price tag isn’t worth even filing it, but your friend has a lawyer that will work for her for free. And if it’s not worth filing, it’s also not worth defending.
Also, YTA.
ETA: yes, it may matter that the ferret damaged an article of clothing rather than ripping someone’s eyes out, and yes, it may matter that the animal is a ferret and not a dog, and yes, it may matter that the ferret is in its owner’s residence rather than out at the park somewhere. The point is, OP hasn’t told us where she is and so we don’t know. We can’t know. OP’s apparent complete confidence that she’s not liable is misplaced until she knows what the law says where she is, and the confidence of anyone on this thread giving a definite, absolute answer is also misplaced.
Yta
You are responsible for your pets regardless of whether your friend knew the ferret was free-roaming or not. If you think of the extreme, if your ferret injured someone, their knowledge of your ferret does not absolve your responsibility. If your friend’s behavior was negligent or caused the incident, that would be something to consider, but she simply got up to go to the kitchen.
YTA and are you sure this is your friend? You sound very judgy. I wouldn’t want a friend like you.
This part makes YTA: „being the menace that he is“
If you know he jumps people you should not let him roam free.
YTA
Soft YTA.
IAL but not your lawyer. It’s really going to depend on your state, but I would very much expect that you would be legally liable for the cost of the repairs.
Some states have a standard that you are liable of you were negligent in containing your pet. Others you are liable for pretty much no matter what.
The cost of the dress is irrelevant. If I accidentally rear-end a Mercedes, I have to pay the cost of the repairs for a Mercedes. I can’t say it was dumb to drive such an expensive car.
In my opinion, again, not your lawyer, no one “assumes the risk” of property damage from someone’s pet, even if they come to your house. At best, a judge might say that if you’re not 100% responsible, you have to pay whatever amount of percentage the judge says you are responsible. But I cannot fathom a judge saying you are not responsible at all.
YTA – let’s say friend comes over wearing vintage shoes. My dog bites them/my cat pukes in them – I am liable. He’s a FRIEND and I will make sure I compensate. YTA for not offering compensation and making your FRIEND to request it.
YTA
You really sound like you are trying to blame your friend for what she wore even though you knew she had a date beforehand. YOUR pet caused the date and a responsible person would offer to have the dress fixed.
Depending on the damage, you don’t know what a judge would say you owe. Maybe it can be fixed for less than what she paid and there may be a possibility it can’t be repaired and a judge may give her the whole value. I would saving the laughing until you find out the outcome because for all we know your friend might have the last laugh.
I have pets but if my pets damaged someone’s belongings, I would pay for the damages.
YTA –
1.) She can almost certainly get the dress repaired for under $900, so her request is excessive unless a tailor/seamstress has said it’s not salvageable or that IS the estimate from the professional.
2.) You choose to have a pet you describe as a “menace”, you are 100% responsible for your pet’s actions. YOU OWE HER THE MONEY TO FIX OR REPLACE HER DRESS. And I’ve observed literally hundreds of court cases, yes, a judge will look at you like you’re unreasonable for refusing to pay to repair or replace the dress.
3.) Your behavior indicates that you’re likely not responsible enough to own pets, you certainly aren’t taking responsibility for what your “menace” does when it IS your responsibility.
YTA because ultimately you are hosting guests and you are responsible for your pet.
You’re responsible for whatever your pet does. That’s just basic law. Sorry but YTA.
Yta. You have a pet that is, in your words, “a menace” and you make no effort to stop that. Yet you still invite guests over to your house. Do you expect every guest to come to your house each time in clothing they are willing to trash after? That’s absurd. Yes it sucks that the dress was so expensive and yes it’s a weird choice for a girls night in. But are you seriously saying it’s her fault for not wanting her clothes to be destroyed when she stops by her friends house for a few hours? Your pet caused damage because you let it run wild even tho you know you can’t control its behaviors. That’s on you as the pet owner.
Also,
“what judge is going to look at me and say ‘yes, pay $900 because your ferret got excited about silk’”
Most of them. That’s literally what suing for property damage is. The fact that you think it’s just cute and silly because it was your precious ferret means nothing. If your big scary pitbull ripped her dress it would be the exact same. You allowed your pet to cause damages and you are now responsible for those damages. Trust that if her father is a lawyer and she’s now out almost a grand you will be paying her back.
NTA.
She couldn’t have changed in your bedroom? She had to wear a dress like that where there’s a free-roam pet of ANY kind? She had her daddy lawyer write a stern letter? She’s the AH.
YTA and double an asshole because of your attitude about it. It’s really none of your business what she wears. The fact of the matter is your free roaming menace of a pet damaged her property. I’ve watched enough Judge Judy to know if you let her take this through, you will lose.
She’s probably handling it like an asshole because of your attitude when it happened. I can only imagine.
Either way stop trying to blame her for wearing the dress. I cannot tell you how many times I or others have been dressed for plans after meeting up with friends. What is the point of having to change
No shot the repair costs more than the dress. Especially for so small a repair. And no way does wearing such an outfit to a ferret house make sense. My vote is NTA. Personally, I would’ve apologized and offered, like, $50. Accidents happen. You wear silk into an uncontrolled environment, that you are familiar with and could’ve prepared better for, you take a risk. Noodles is sorry.