I (19f) am a university student. I study in another city and live with my grandma. I also work as part of my studies so I get a small government payment every few months that money is what I use for clothes, transportation, food, and school expenses since my parents stopped giving me money for those things.
Recently, my dad decided to buy a car. He already has a motorcycle, but he thought a small car would be useful for the family, and since I just got my license, he suggested putting it in my name. I was really excited and didn’t think too hard about it. My mom said she would “help” by putting in 1 million (currency not important), but then she told me I’d have to pay her back slowly with the money I earn. At the time, I just said yes without thinking.
Fast forward: my dad paid the biggest share (up to 3 million), handled all the paperwork, and covers all the expenses like repairs and fixing. My mom gave a smaller amount, but then she insisted I give her 4,000 from my school money right away and more later.
The problem is, I need that money for my daily life and to save for my future (possibly a master’s degree or moving to another city). I told her I can’t keep paying her because I need to save, and surprisingly she admitted I was right but still demanded the 4000 and I ended up giving it to her because I felt like I had no choice.
Now I feel hurt and shocked. The car is in my name, but in reality it’s the family car I barely get to use it, and I doubt I’ll ever actually have it as my own. My dad, who paid the most, never asked me for anything. Meanwhile, my mom wanted to take back everything she contributed from me, even though I didn’t ask for the car in the first place.
I know the 4,000 is gone, but I can’t stop thinking about how she didn’t consider my future at all and how quickly she thought of taking money from me. It makes me wonder if I’m selfish for refusing to give her more, or if she’s the one being unfair.
So, be honest with me please AITA for not wanting to keep paying my mom back for the car? Or is she the one in the wrong ?
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I (19f) am a university student. I study in another city and live with my grandma. I also work as part of my studies so I get a small government payment every few months that money is what I use for clothes, transportation, food, and school expenses since my parents stopped giving me money for those things.
Recently, my dad decided to buy a car. He already has a motorcycle, but he thought a small car would be useful for the family, and since I just got my license, he suggested putting it in my name. I was really excited and didn’t think too hard about it. My mom said she would “help” by putting in 1 million (currency not important), but then she told me I’d have to pay her back slowly with the money I earn. At the time, I just said yes without thinking.
Fast forward: my dad paid the biggest share (up to 3 million), handled all the paperwork, and covers all the expenses like repairs and fixing. My mom gave a smaller amount, but then she insisted I give her 4,000 from my school money right away and more later.
The problem is, I need that money for my daily life and to save for my future (possibly a master’s degree or moving to another city). I told her I can’t keep paying her because I need to save, and surprisingly she admitted I was right but still demanded the 4000 and I ended up giving it to her because I felt like I had no choice.
Now I feel hurt and shocked. The car is in my name, but in reality it’s the family car I barely get to use it, and I doubt I’ll ever actually have it as my own. My dad, who paid the most, never asked me for anything. Meanwhile, my mom wanted to take back everything she contributed from me, even though I didn’t ask for the car in the first place.
I know the 4,000 is gone, but I can’t stop thinking about how she didn’t consider my future at all and how quickly she thought of taking money from me. It makes me wonder if I’m selfish for refusing to give her more, or if she’s the one being unfair.
So, be honest with me please AITA for not wanting to keep paying my mom back for the car? Or is she the one in the wrong ?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action i took that should be be judged is me accepting her terms without giving it a proper though because I trusted her so much and I might be the asshole because I dont want to pay her back even if the car is in my name because im selfish.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Honestly I do think you didn’t take this responsibility seriously but your mom was also blinded by the money so you are both in the wrong here.
NTA. You didn’t ask for the car and your dad already covered most of it. Your mom asking you to pay back money you need for school and living expenses isn’t fair. It’s reasonable to protect your future and say no to more payments.
NTA While you should probably not have agreed to having the car in your name, your mother was greedy and should not have demanded money from you. Let this be a life lesson. Don’t quickly agree to things before you think through all of the potential negatives first.
ESH. Don’t just agree to things like this.
You two need some communication counselling to learn how to handle these situations
NTA but tell your father that you want the car put in their name and your 4000 back from your mother. Since you barely use the car no need to be responsible for it
NTA Taking off a couple zeros makes this a bit more understandable for many of us. That would put the vehicle at 40,000 (10,000 from mom, 30,000 from dad). How on earth could 40 from you help with it at all? That’s 0.1% of the value of the car, but could possibly be food for a week.
NTA…. But you admittedly made multiple decisions “without thinking.”
Start thinking.
This seems fishy. Was there a loan taken out to buy the car, in addition to the money your parents contributed? Why would the car need to be in your name? Because if it’s a car you aren’t using and you don’t want your name on it, it should be somewhat simple to just get the deed transferred to your dad.
ESH, but mostly your parents. If you aren’t willing to put money into it, you should have it taken out of your name. I’m wondering if your parents took out a loan in your name because they didn’t qualify.