Maybe this sounds really dumb, but I (22f) like playing video games, particularly ones with a good plot. My friend (23f) asked if we could play together, or she could watch me play some single player games (she likes watching youtubers play games rather than actually play them). i thought it was a phone way to bond, but its the worst. she’s either talking over them and making me miss important cutscenes or she plays on her phone misses everything, then asks me to explain everything. and since she’s usually caused me to miss stuff, I don’t even know what’s happening half the time, or what I’m meant to look for. I’ve tried to talk to her about it but she said I needed to chill out and have fun. but this isn’t fun for me. I’ve asked if she wants to play, or if we could do something else and she’s refused, saying that this is fun.
She asked if she could come over yesterday and I lost it and said that I couldn’t do it anymore and she was unbearably to be around. She walked away and told our friends that I said I didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. On the one hand, I feel like I’m overreacting and should just get over myself and stop taking this so seriously. on the other i’ve stopped finding playing games enjoyable.
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Maybe this sounds really dumb, but I (22f) like playing video games, particularly ones with a good plot. My friend (23f) asked if we could play together, or she could watch me play some single player games (she likes watching youtubers play games rather than actually play them). i thought it was a phone way to bond, but its the worst. she’s either talking over them and making me miss important cutscenes or she plays on her phone misses everything, then asks me to explain everything. and since she’s usually caused me to miss stuff, I don’t even know what’s happening half the time, or what I’m meant to look for. I’ve tried to talk to her about it but she said I needed to chill out and have fun. but this isn’t fun for me. I’ve asked if she wants to play, or if we could do something else and she’s refused, saying that this is fun.
She asked if she could come over yesterday and I lost it and said that I couldn’t do it anymore and she was unbearably to be around. She walked away and told our friends that I said I didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. On the one hand, I feel like I’m overreacting and should just get over myself and stop taking this so seriously. on the other i’ve stopped finding playing games enjoyable.
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> I lashed out at my friend and uninvited her from hanging out me. Now she’s really upset with me and I think I might have been in the wrong.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
She sounds very immature for her age.
Nta your friend is annoying
NTA It’s not fun for you.
Did she ask because this is the only way she can regularly spend time with you?
ESH. She asked you to let her watch you play games and decided not to pay attention. You don’t seem to have communicated that you don’t enjoy having to go back and tell her every time she misses something or that you need her to be quiet when she’s watching so you don’t miss things, so your reaction would, from her POV, seem out of the blue. I completely understand that she was making things un-fun, but you should have had an adult conversation with her rather than blow up and snap at her
NTA
You’re not wrong for wanting to stop “playing” games with her, but wording it in a way that implies you don’t want to hang out with her ever might be a mistake, if that’s not actually the case.
If she insists that you guys have to play games together, you’d be well within your rights to refuse outright and maybe stop hanging out with her. If she can accept that you guys can be friends without the games aspect, then that’s the way to go.
NTA- You wanted to share something you love, not play narrator for someone who couldn’t bother to engage. She made your hobby stressful and then flipped the script to your friends when you finally stood up for yourself.
Apologize to her for snapping at her, but add that you have come to realize that this is not an activity you enjoy.
Nwxt suggest spending time doing an activity you previously both enjoyed doing together. Then leave it in her court.
If she keeps demanding to watch, you play, it might be time to move on from that friendship.
NTA. That would drive me absolutely nuts. I play single player games to immerse myself in them. Someone talking over them would absolutely kill it. Explaining stuff after is fine, though, so long as it’s not literally every time.
NTA. As a person who primarily plays story driven games, someone talking over them can be very annoying. Sounds like you still want to hang out and so does she. Could a compromise be you replaying a game and she watches that? So you already know what happened. Or you two agree that you gotta pause all convo during a cutscene. Be sure that sometimes you are the person who has to pause convo so its not just you telling her to be quiet
I don’t understand why you didn’t just say “I don’t find playing games with you fun anymore” and just do things that you two used to do together.
Like, she’s not physically forcing you to play games, is she?
She asked to come over, you could have just responded with “okay, but I want to do something other than gaming”. Either she’ll agree or she’ll say no. And if she says no then you can just say you’d rather not hang out.
It seems unnecessary to call her “unbearable”.
So ESH
Nta.
Should have made it clear how you dislike the hangout sessions where she is interrupting you or not paying attention but want to know what happens.
Yta
For going off on your friend like that even if you’re right. It’s not friendly communication. If you don’t speak up for yourself when it’s happening, then don’t go off on people when you’ve reached your limit. It gives mixed signals.
Whenever somebody talks during a movie/video/game, I make it a point to pause until they’re done, no matter how short or long. It’s a win-win: they get to be heard and you don’t miss anything. It’s not rude, but if it happens enough times, they usually get the hint.