I (f31) like “witchy” things. Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science just getting that in), crystals etc. That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun. If I’m being audited by the IRS, I’m consulting an accountant, not tarot. My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctors appointment, didn’t consult tarot. (Was benign, thank goodness). The most extreme I get would be having a run of the mill bad day, consulting tarot and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something.
I have a friend, Grace (30’s) who is in legal trouble. I don’t know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn’t a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences.
Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused. A) because she hasn’t done anything yet. Her court day is approaching and as far as I know, she still doesn’t have legal representation, and B) tarot cards might give a “it’s fine!” answer but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own. I told her no, she should really find a lawyer. Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn’t being a good friend.
I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn’t always take long, and it could make her feel better. AITA?
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I (f31) like “witchy” things. Tarot cards, I make my own herbal tinctures (I am fully vaccinated and believe in science just getting that in), crystals etc. That being said, I consult tarot cards for fun. If I’m being audited by the IRS, I’m consulting an accountant, not tarot. My wife (38) had a lump on her breast last spring, and I made her a doctors appointment, didn’t consult tarot. (Was benign, thank goodness). The most extreme I get would be having a run of the mill bad day, consulting tarot and using that to help inform what I might do next, like take a long bath or something.
I have a friend, Grace (30’s) who is in legal trouble. I don’t know if I can say here without breaking rules, but her thing isn’t a speeding ticket that you want to contest and show up in court for. This is a situation where she needs to hire her own lawyer and probably be prepared for some serious consequences.
Anyways, she asked me if I could read her tarot to see the outcomes of the situation, and I refused. A) because she hasn’t done anything yet. Her court day is approaching and as far as I know, she still doesn’t have legal representation, and B) tarot cards might give a “it’s fine!” answer but a judge and jury in Massachusetts are going to decide on their own. I told her no, she should really find a lawyer. Grace got really upset, saying this would help her know what to expect and put her mind at ease, and that I wasn’t being a good friend.
I think a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths, but tarot doesn’t always take long, and it could make her feel better. AITA?
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> I think I might be the asshole because it would take 30 minutes of my time to read Grace’s tarot but I advised her she needs legal council instead.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA. Like you said, tarot is something that’s fun…but your friend is having an actual crisis and needs to consult an attorney. You gave her good advice.
Sounds like Grace needs to wake up.
NTA. You gave her the advice she needed to here. Telling her everything will be fine when maybe it won’t be, is not helping her.
NTA
If things went further south for your friend, she’d really be ticked. I hope you explained to her that reading the cards is just for fun and you can’t be a party to her nonsense in this case.
NTA. But can’t you pretend to read her tarot and let the tarot say that she needs to get a lawyer?
GIRL SHOW UR TAROT DECK!!! I love tarot cards so much!!!
Also NTA! I would never rely on tarots for such a serious situation like that. 🙃
NTA and grace is a huge red flag. She’s hoping the cards erase whatever consequences she’s about to face and seems like she hasn’t learned a thing about the seriousness of her situation and being a responsible accountable adult
NTA
But I would probably do it and let her know the cards aren’t a yes or no answer. They are a guide and gently guide her to do the right thing and get a lawyer.
NTA
Pro move would have been to say the tarot tells her she’s in big trouble if she doesn’t hire a lawyer.
Use headology.
NTA, tarot cards definitely fall in the Barnum effect category. If your friend continues to be pushy you could always stack the deck to give the most horrific reading (lots of inverses, towers, devil, etc).
I would “read her Tarot” and say that it looks like her current course of action is going to lead to a bad situation… mumble something about there is a potential path but it requires getting the wise crone or something (aka a lawyer).
NTA.
NTA. Like not at all. Not one little bit.
You made the right call.
Tell her the tarot tells her to get a lawyer 🤣
NTA
If she really wants to use tarot cards in such a high stakes situation (unwise but her choice), she needs to seek out someone who has similar beliefs in their validity.
You were right to warn her to take real legal steps of her own and right to refuse to do a reading if you felt that she was going to base her plans on it as opposed to the way that you utilize them
I mean, tarot isnt real so you canjust interpret the cards how ever you want to
NTA
I definitely agree with all the people saying to fudge the “results” a bit saying it looks like she needs to get guidance from someone aka a lawyer.
the fates are not responsible for the legal consequences of your actions. NTA
NTA. Wanting you to read the tarot instead of getting a lawyer is ridiculous.
That said, reading tarot is very much a matter of interpretation… “good” cards can be interpreted as “bad” and vice versa, essentially they can be read to say whatever the reader wants them to say, so you could give her a reading along the lines of “the future looks dire if no action is taken” 😉
>a good friend sometimes has to give their friends hard truths
You’re being a good friend by refusing. It’s far kinder to tell it to her straight (that she needs a lawyer, not a card reading) than to pretend to read tarot like I’ve seen some other comments suggest. I’d hope my friends would do similar if I ever asked them to do something that would end very poorly for me. NTA
You clearly like Tarot as a fun party game, while your friend thinks it’s legit. If she won’t listen, then just rig the cards. Set up the cards you want in the right order, maybe have them under a crooked card mid-deck so it looks like you genuinly pulled it out.
Don’t. No matter what happens she will blame you.
Give her a reading,… you will be making friends very soon. Close friends…. new fashion choices, jumpsuits. Learn new trade,laundry, license plate making…. change your current path or don’t drop any soap.
NTA. It’s ok to say no to friends. Also, you don’t want the consequences of the tarot cards reading saying everything will be fine, then the reality of the court system saying your friend is in serious legal trouble. She can pay someone to do a tarot reading? I get she wants reassurance, but is she gonna blame your tarot card reading if things go bad in real life? Don’t get involved in her messy, legal situation. You don’t want her to shift blame onto you.
NTA but you could appease your friend (if you care about your friendship) by reading the cards in a way to suggest she seeks legal representation and maybe face her denialism about her current situation.
M
Ok
Beware of any tarot readings you do for anyone. I once pulled a 3 of swords after a death card for a friend, and het car ended up totalled a few weeks later…
You’ve consulted the Tarot and every card says, Talk to a lawyer. NTA
i read tarot as well and i even survived on doing readings for income for a short while in between jobs, i really didn’t like doing it for pay because you have an obligation and sometimes you don’t want to exchange energy with the querent or are uncomfortable with what they are asking. i had one client who was a male asking about a female that the cards indicated he was most likely stalking or at the very least his advances were not reciprocated and causing her some distress, having to relay that to a client in a way they would receive it positively was so difficult for me i just wanted to say hey bro leave her tf alone but i couldn’t, i had to make it palatable. after that i only do readings i want to do, i still have a handful of clients who reach out from time to time and i will see them if i so choose. i reserve the right to say no to any reading or witchy request at any time, i had a younger coworker begging me to do a cord cutting for him, he even venmoed me money ahead of time but when i consulted my deck it said no so i sent his money right back to him. i also would get medical questions and legal questions and i would answer them but with the preface that this is in no way shape or form a replacement for professional advice. you are NTA because you know your friend is not prepared and is not actually asking for spiritual insight to her issue but rather free legal counsel that neither you nor your cards are fit to give.
NTA. Thank you for living in the real world. It’s a shame your friend isn’t doing the same.
NTA
It sounds like your friend is one of those people who take the tarot really seriously. It would be incredibly foolish to read for her about anything and especially something so serious as you describe her situation to be.
You did the best thing you could do to be a friend to her.
NTA – I’m much the same as you, understand science, get my vaccines, like witchy things and tarot. I’d also refuse to read cards for something serious.
NTA. I’m also a tarot reader and having boundaries like not reading on legal or medical matters is a safety and ethical issue, this is simply you protecting her as well as yourself.
I find tarot card readings help walk you through your feelings and thoughts about a particular issue, and view things a little bit more objectively and potentially from another angle.
A Celtic cross reading helps examines the circumstances that led up to where you are, and maybe opens your eyes to some current pros and cons about decisions you might be considering. Tarot readings are not intended for a black or white answer. A good tarot reading should be about reflection and discovery in all the shades of gray.
I’m not a master reader, but I would certainly have helped your friend out by doing a reading for her. It actually could’ve relaxed her and let her know that whatever happens in her case, there will be opportunities for personal growth. You may have grounded her and given her some sense of peace.
NTA Some people treat the readings as fact and then blame the reader when events turn out differently. Avoiding a situation like that is a good idea.
NTA, you don’t need a tarot deck to tell you the obvious. She absolutely needs an attorney and pronto.
I have the same policy with my runes. I wont read them for extreme circumstances—just for a bit of guidance
It sounds like you use tarot more as a mental tool to guide your thoughts and help you try to have more perspective, rather then any actual tool of prediction. I am a VERY pragmatic, believes-in-science girly as well, and I’ve used tarot for this in the past.
Unless I have you wrong and you truly believe tarot are future predictors, I think this is what you should explain to your friend. Let her know that your relationship with tarot reading isn’t a magic 8 ball, it’s an indexing system that lets you work through and examine your own thoughts.
Then tell her she’s an idiot for not having a lawyer and that even without tarot you can see that unless she gets one soon her future will be grim.
If you know anything about tarot, then you know that readings are very up to interpretation. All cards can have an opposite meaning depending on how they are placed (ex. A reversed card). It’s important to know that, especially if reading for a friend who is asking for advice on a difficult subject.
A tarot reading is never in terms of absolutes. I suggest buying a beginners book on tarot and/or googling card meanings, then revisit the topic. The more educated you are, the better you’ll be at finding a nuanced meaning for your friend.
It sounds like you both have a lot to learn about tarot (not an insult). You and your friend could learn together; maybe she’ll feel better if she can have a hand in her reading too. Positive energy, open mindedness, and a safe space are all important things to be aware of when reading.
Make sure to emphasize the importance of seeking legal representation. tell her how imprecise tarot can sometimes be; some guidance and support can be gleaned, but the tarot will NEVER say “do this, not that”.
Also, it’s suuuper bad energy to lie to someone about their reading. Most of the people commenting here have good intentions, but are a little misinformed (which is ok!)
I’d say your decision is one based on ignorance of the topic, and not AH-ness. NAH is my vote.
Just fyi, tarot can be used by people without Pagan or Wiccan beliefs. It used to be just a game when first invented.
If she wants to know what to expect she should talk to a lawyer.
This is the same way I am, except if it’s a “big deal” situation and I’m caught between two choices, I’ll use the cards to help figure out where my head is at and pick the right choice. But regardless, you’re 100% on the money here, NTA. She needs to take actionable steps, not just leave things up to the whims of fate like she’s a powerless damsel.
might as well tell her to ask a magic 8 ball
NTA. You are never wrong for refusing to share energy with another person. If you don’t feel that, it’s the right thing to do. Period. This is why anytime I read for somebody. I let them know that it’s for entertainment purposes only and they take from what they will. In a legal sense, though, she should not be making a decision placed after cards when it comes to something legal.
Ordained Pagan clergy and tarot reader here. First off, mundane before magic. Just like how the bible says God helps those that help themselves. You must put in the work and meet the universe halfway. Secondly, tarot doesn’t tell you what’s guaranteed to happen. It’s a snapshot, a possibility. It’s guidance based on the most likely outcome of the current course is action. Say she was going to reach out to a lawyer tomorrow who would end up winning her case, and you do a reading today that said that she was on the right path to victory. So she goes home and says oh no the cards said I was going to win so no point in calling that lawyer. She’s now gone off course and nullified that reading. On top of that, she’ll now blame you for lying to her. So no, you are absolutely NTA for refusing her and I probably would have too.