So every year my family goes on a beach trip down to Florida. My boyfriend (24 M) and I (24 F) are always invited and we go. My parents pay for one big condo for the whole family to stay in. This year my mom asked if I would share a room with my sister (20yf) because she doesn’t like my brothers girlfriend, and she can only find 3 bedroom condos. My brother and his girlfriend are 19 years old. Initially I agreed but the more I’ve thought about it, it is really starting to irritate me that just because of my sister, my boyfriend of 3 years, who I live with, and I will have to room with her while my younger brother and his newer girlfriend get their own room. I’ve thought about us getting our own condo in the same building but they only have 2 bedrooms, which would be a waste of money for just the 2 of us. But I also know if we were to find a 1 bedroom and stay somewhere else my mom would be upset. Everytime I try to bring it up with my mom she just instantly gets upset and tells me she didn’t think it would be a big deal and we can’t have a conversation about it. Which it isn’t the end of the world, but being older, and in a very serious relationship, it feels unfair. I feel stuck because since I’m not paying, I don’t feel like I have the right to say “im not doing that” but at the same time if we were to get a condo someplace else, i know she’d also be mad. AITA for refusing to share a room?
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So every year my family goes on a beach trip down to Florida. My boyfriend (24 M) and I (24 F) are always invited and we go. My parents pay for one big condo for the whole family to stay in. This year my mom asked if I would share a room with my sister (20yf) because she doesn’t like my brothers girlfriend, and she can only find 3 bedroom condos. My brother and his girlfriend are 19 years old. Initially I agreed but the more I’ve thought about it, it is really starting to irritate me that just because of my sister, my boyfriend of 3 years, who I live with, and I will have to room with her while my younger brother and his newer girlfriend get their own room. I’ve thought about us getting our own condo in the same building but they only have 2 bedrooms, which would be a waste of money for just the 2 of us. But I also know if we were to find a 1 bedroom and stay somewhere else my mom would be upset. Everytime I try to bring it up with my mom she just instantly gets upset and tells me she didn’t think it would be a big deal and we can’t have a conversation about it. Which it isn’t the end of the world, but being older, and in a very serious relationship, it feels unfair. I feel stuck because since I’m not paying, I don’t feel like I have the right to say “im not doing that” but at the same time if we were to get a condo someplace else, i know she’d also be mad. AITA for refusing to share a room?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1- I told my mom how unfair it would be to make me and my boyfriend share a room because of my sisters attitude
2- I’m not paying for the condo so AITA for refusing when my parents are paying and I’m not?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
You’re not an ahole for refusing to share, just you’ll need to come up with a solution and stick to it.
NTA. Good luck mate.
Do what’s right for you.
NTA and get your own condo. She’ll get over being upset about it since you’ll be spending time with them anyway. But unfortunately if you stay in a condo that she is paying for, she makes the rules.
I guess if you were paying for your share of the accommodation then you could be more picky. However perhaps a fairer solution would be all the girls room together and all the boys room together.
In any case since it’s your parents who are paying for the accommodation .. then they have more say. IMO.
No one is entitled to be treated with priority just because they are older or have been in a relationship longer
YTA for your attitude about it. You are an adult who was invited on a vacation with specific accommodations that your parents pay for. You are free to decline the trip altogether, rent in the same building, or tell your mom, “Thanks Mom I appreciate the invite but BF and I want to room together on this trip. We’ll stay nearby and still spend plenty of time together.”
Instead you’re responding like a child. “Waaah, it’s not fair!” and saying it would be a waste of money to rent a place for the two of you in the same building. A waste of money for the ideal solution. You think a better solution is for YOU to decide how to assign the rooms your PARENTS are paying for.
You want the perks of being an adult without the accompanying responsibility and that makes you TA.
NTA.
Perhaps, if it’s not such a big deal, your sister could stay in the parent’s bedroom?
YTA… your parents are paying. Your sister would obviously be uncomfortable sharing with someone she doesn’t like. You live with your bf so you guys have plenty of privacy all the time. Suck it up for a weekend or however long it is.
Yes, YTA. You’ll survive not sharing a room with your boyfriend for a few nights. I genuinely cannot believe this is an issue.
Yeah sorry but YTA, at the end of the day you’re not the one paying and it really doesn’t kill you to share a room with your sister for a few days.
You said it yourself, you live with your boyfriend so it’s not like you don’t get any quality time together. The alternatives are your sister is uncomfortable or no partners go at all.
So it kind of sounds like you’re throwing a tantrum because your brother is getting something you feel entitled to as the oldest, when really it’s to ensure your sister also enjoys her stay (who also doesn’t have a choice in sharing). You can’t claim the oldest card forever. Grow up.
YTA. The trip is free to you, so you don’t have any recourse of action other than to decline the trip before it’s booked and do your own thing, or go along with it and have fun.
It’s just a few days of sharing a room with your sister. You live with your boyfriend you see him all the time.
NTA…as long as you’re prepared to not go or prepared to pay for your own alternative.
You’re NTA for how you feel, but as you pointed out she’s paying. You need to take the pressure off her to figure it out and talk to your siblings. YWBTA if you make it her problem and expect her to solve it for you.
YTA just bc you’re the oldest doesn’t mean u get ur own room
How about all the guys share one room and all the girls another room? Like that no couple apart from your parents get to have their own room. Your sister will just have to suck it up, sharing with the brother’s girlfriend anyway!
It’s inappropriate for your 19 years sister to share a room with your boyfriend!
Get your own place somewhere else regardless of what your mom says That’s wild You’re a grown ass woman
YTA if you are paying you can decide on sleeping arrangements, if you aren’t paying suck it up or don’t go.
YTA-you agreed. It’s not about being older or relationship seriousness. It’s about being an adult and being accommodating on a trip you don’t pay for.
At this age, your Sister should just sleep on the couch or get an air mattress for the living room since both you and your brother are paired up.
YTA You’ll have plenty of opportunities to fuck your bf, chill.
I wouldn’t really say you’re an ah but you did say yes at first when your mother mentioned it you should have told her from the start you weren’t ok with it and either she could figure something else out or you could still rent the other condo. If you’re paying for it she can’t stop you.
I’m sorry, but YTA in this. You said there are rooms available in the same building so that’s a very viable solution. The other two solutions may be to have sister sleep on the couch, or suck it up and grin and bear it. Let her share your room.
YTA. The only bf of your post sounds like you’re whining. If it really bothers you, rent your own condo. Your mom won’t be too upset. Or have the girls be in one room and the guys in another.
So let her be mad.
YTA. Suck it up and pay for your own place if you don’t like the accommodations you’re getting for free. If your mom is mad, she can deal with it. Let her know you still plan on spending lots of time with them, but that you’re adults and you need your own space.
Yta. This may be one of the last family vacations your parents get for a while. Everyone is getting older, and soon schedules will not be as easy to plan a trip. Suck it up and have a great attitude for your parents. You can go one week without sex.
At 24 I’m surprised that you haven’t learned this valuable lesson. It isn’t fair maybe, but life isn’t fair. YTA.
Instead of the 3-bedroom condo, are you able to change and pay the difference of getting two 2-bedroom condos? Then your sister has her own room you!
You rent a two bedroom condo let sister stay with you, talk to mom she rents a two bedroom and brother stays with her. No wasted room everyone gets some privacy. You just don’t get the free vacation.
You’re the oldest so you chipping for the trip makes sense, right?