So I work night shift, often husband goes to mates for afternoon/all night drinks. He is a very sloppy drunk.
One particular morning I got home from work at 7am, husband was sitting in the lounge looking very worse for wear. I laughed and said “I’d hate to be you” haha.
Went about my usual morning routine after work, coffee, breakfast, shower etc. by the time this is over I’m exhausted and dying to get into bed.
So off I go in my clean pj’s, turn back the cover and discover that he has vomited all through the bed and just covered it over. Like WTAF!! A grown man just covered up a bed full of spew like a cat does its shit!
I was livid…. Shaking my head basically threw my arms up and said “not my problem” and went and got into the spare bed. Where I stayed for days! Besides because I was pissed off about the said spew in the bed, he literally slept in and on it for another 3 days (appeared like he wiped most off with a towel) I mean seriously WASH THE SHEETS! I certainly wasn’t going to! Maybe if he was ill and it happened I’d have some compassion and help him.
He sulked for days because I wouldn’t come back to our bed, surely I’m NTA in this scenario.
Edit- if I could afford it, I would be gone!!!
Comments
I don’t understand how he doesn’t feel embarrassment for these actions.
No offense, but I do find it very immature of your husband to get that drunk and cause that much of a problem it doesn’t take a lot to just drink a little less so you don’t make peoples lives worse.
I can’t imagine a “vote” of anything but NTA on this one. 🙂
NTA but you should be direct with him and tell him to wash the sheets and not sleep in the bed if he is gonna be that fucked up.
nta, thats not just gross, its downright concerning
Was he drunk for three days straight?
Come on, this is not (only) a problem with alcohol. And there are kids that would do better. Your husband needs help, and someone to push him to look for that help.
NTA unless you keep enabling him. Someone should have kicked him off that mattress, once drunkenness wasn’t a liability, and forced him to do his duties (clean all the mess) while hearing why all that is not acceptable and won’t be tolerated.
NTA. And you’re staying with this fine specimen of humanity because….?
NTA lmao that must have been a brutal hangover if it was enough to make you crawl back into bed with your own vomit. Assuming over 30? Haha
He has a major alcohol problem
NTA! It’s gross and disrespectful for him to expect you to sleep there after that. He should have cleaned it up! You deserve to be in a clean and comfortable space, so it’s totally understandable that you chose the spare bed.
He made his bed and now he has to lie in it
I couldn’t stay in a relationship with someone who slept in his own sick for 3 days/nights
Thats highly concerning and unhygienic
NTA and it sounds like your husband has a drinking problem
No woman with any self-respect would stay with a man like this.
That is truly grim. He slept in the bed without changing the sheets while his 2 and 3 day old vomit was still on the bed?
You don’t just have a slopply drunk here – you have a lazy one too.
That is grim. Did I mention how grim that is??? Well it is.
NTA
Men are literally disgusting creatures. I’d have left the house until he properly cleaned it
As a shift worker. If I came home and saw that I wasn’t able to sleep in my bed, I’d probably be homicidal (relax it’s hyperbole).
But to come home to my partner vomiting in the bed and covering it up and not cleaning it after three days, I’d happily see my days out in jail (again relax hyperbole).
Definitely NTA, but please consider if you want to be with this person any longer.
I used to drink. A lot.
After college it lessened.
That you are married to a man who behaved like this… gees, I don’t know what to say…
Have you gone back to him at all time when you both have a minute and said. “Where are we here?”
You are sleeping in your own vomit.🤮
I’d that how you want to introduce yourself?
What’s the plan?
I don’t know, do you?
This would turn me off him. Honestly ok it’s not great he’s threw up in bed but at the very least strip it off. I wouldn’t even be mad if he binned all the bedding. But to cover it up. Then the absolute worst bit to go sleep in it for another three nights. No way. That’s the most foul thing. I could never have sex with him again. God knows what is on his body 🤢 i would also be telling him that. It really sounds like he has an alcohol problem. Something he should be addressing
ESH, You are AH to yourself and to your hb in this scenario.
You are making it smaller than it is “just a sloppy drunk”, “often goes to mates for drinks”. Your husband is an alcoholic and you are actively closing your eyes on the situation. The fact that you only concerned about the bed instead of the actual problem is beyond sad.
I’m embarressed on behalf of him and mortified for him… seriously what have you married?!? If you were dating would you really be turned on by a man who lays in his own vomit each day? Talk about rock bottom. Even sober he was sleeping in it.
That a big nope with a huge ick factor.
If he was sick or unable is one thing. But this is lazy and revolting.
NTA. First of all he sounds like he needs help, go into rehab or something like that.
But there are plenty of men who don’t mind sleeping in their own filth. For who “I wiped it away” is enough on the cleaning department. Who aren’t helpful in chores at all unless you coddle them and tell them what they need to do in full on detail because otherwise they either don’t do it or only do it half or wrong if you don’t give them details. Sounds like he’s like that too. Expecting a man like that to come up with the idea that maybe if he does the laundry you’ll come back in the bed again without saying this out loud is a too high expectation. So if you want to sleep in your own bed again, just tell him in detail what he needs to do.
You live with a literal pig.
NTA.
He’s 60 and goes for “all day drinks”, he then vomits and leaves it there covered up and then doesn’t change/wash the sheets for 2-3 days!?
The man is a disgusting child. What an absolute c*nt! I’d suspect he had an alcohol problem but won’t see it or admit to one either (my ex was the same).
Dump his lazy, gross ass!
NTA.
This is absolutely problematic behavior.
You have steady employment. I don’t know where he does, but no actual adult should regularly get drunk to the point of sloppiness. That is no longer social drinking, that is alcohol abuse.
I don’t think I could be with this man. The bloody disrespect. You come home after a long night shift. And he hasn’t made sure you have a place to rest? A place that isn’t covered in his vomit? And than he sleeps in it??? I wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole. If he thinks that is the level of personal hygiene that is acceptable, what else does he think is OK? My intimate life with him would be over and done with. I could not…
I mean, honestly: intimate life gone, the disrespect towards you and him not seeing this as a problem at all. I don’t know whether I could get over it. If you weren’t married, I would tell you to walk away… now that you are committed to him… try and get him help… maybe your GP could talk to him about is alcohol consumption. Maybe therapy?
Thanks for making me sick. Your husband is disgusting. My cat would do this when she puked on her kitty bed, but at least she would groom herself. It’s sad I’m comparing your husband’s hygiene with my dead cat’s.
Yikes. Can we hear the upside of this specimen? Great provider? Fantastically good looking? Deep thinker? Great shoulder to lean on? Please tell me there’s more on the plus side of what, on the surface, appears to be a man-child who doesn’t know how to do laundry and hasn’t heard that he shouldn’t sleep in his own sick like a wounded animal.
NTA, does your husband have any redeeming qualities?
NTA but it sounds like your husband has a problem with alcohol. Sleeping in a pukey bed for DAYS is really not a good sign.
Oh my that’s some drinking session if he didn’t even wake up / make it to the bathroom. He has a serious problem. The man needs a hobby or an additional job if he can’t say no OR at very least new mates
Definitely NTA I think most people would react the way you have. The only caveat being, as you stated, due to illness other than a hangover 😂.
Time for a very honest heart to heart chat – something needs to change here. Good Luck.
NTA. Sounds like a serious problem with alcohol and with personal standards.
Hey OP, I think most of us who are righteously horrified in these comments have been assuming that the two of you are in your twenties or perhaps early thirties… which would make this unacceptable but slightly realistic… But you commented that you are a full SIXTY years old??!
What on earth is wrong with this man? Has he always been like this, or is he suffering a health issue? Is this early dementia?
Why are you married to this man child? You realize he is an alcoholic right? These are not actions of a healthy man.
He doesn’t respect you because he very obviously does not respect himself. This behavior is shameful and embarrassing.
It’s sad enough to be a drunk. Like get a hobby. But for a grown man to act like a helpless child and do absolutely nothing to fix his mistake is highly concerning.
I hope y’all don’t have kids.
NTA. He needs professional help.
Nta
You married him. Of course YTA.
Edit? It’s doubtful this is the first time, or the 50th. You should have started saving for this day a long time ago.
Martial bed? Is that like martial arts? Sounds like you married a pig and an imbecile… you should get the hell out… maybe pull a Amber Heard on your way out and leave him a dookie on his bed
It’s the punchline of a truly gag worthy joke about Quasimodo
The punchline was, oh, sank god for that, for a moment I thought his ‘ump ‘ad burst
🤮
Time to start saving up as best you can and bounce.
lol I sleep in the spare bed if DH is breathing heavy & I can’t sleep .. you are not the AO here
Ewwwwww… what the heck? NTA, your husband is a slob, and he has an alcohol problem. As a man I have to say that you deserve better.
Why are you living with a drunk?
Leave and let him marinate in his own filth
Your husband is an alcoholic. Probably some other issues there as well, but that level of drinking is a result of disease.