My roommate (25F) works with people experiencing homelessness, and while I completely respect the work she does, there’s a history of bringing stuff home. Last year we dealt with LICE (literal nightmare for girls in their twenties) and now it’s bed bugs.
She recently found a bed bug in her car, which then led her to get an inspection done. The pest control company confirmed they were in her car and her bedroom but nowhere else in the house (not the couch, no other beds/rooms).
For whatever reason the company recommended/insisted treating the WHOLE house just to be safe, but again they didn’t find them anywhere else. Roommate wants to go ahead with treating the entire house and since it’s now the whole house being treated not just her room she wants to split the $1000 treatment cost.
I really don’t think that’s fair. She’s clearly the one who brought them in from her work, she’s also very messy so I’m not surprised this happened. I told her that if the bed bugs are only in her space she should have to pay it all herself, additionally since the inspector said it was only in her room she should look into a treatment plan that only involves her room and car. She insists that the whole place needs to be done and it’s unfair for her to carry the cost alone. I have refused to help pay, I’m perfectly fine if she doesn’t treat my room and only does her room (I lowkey think she’s being scammed by the company telling her she needs to do the whole house). I’ve told her even if she goes through with treating the whole house or even if there were bed bugs in my space, I would expect her to pay for the extermination since she’s the one her brought them home.
Now she’s annoyed with me making me feel like I’m being selfish and unreasonable for not wanting to help with the cost. But I honestly don’t see why I should pay for a problem I didn’t cause, especially when it’s only impacting her room.
AITA?
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My roommate (25F) works with people experiencing homelessness, and while I completely respect the work she does, there’s a history of bringing stuff home. Last year we dealt with LICE (literal nightmare for girls in their twenties) and now it’s bed bugs.
She recently found a bed bug in her car, which then led her to get an inspection done. The pest control company confirmed they were in her car and her bedroom but nowhere else in the house (not the couch, no other beds/rooms).
For whatever reason the company recommended/insisted treating the WHOLE house just to be safe, but again they didn’t find them anywhere else. Roommate wants to go ahead with treating the entire house and since it’s now the whole house being treated not just her room she wants to split the $1000 treatment cost.
I really don’t think that’s fair. She’s clearly the one who brought them in from her work, she’s also very messy so I’m not surprised this happened. I told her that if the bed bugs are only in her space she should have to pay it all herself, additionally since the inspector said it was only in her room she should look into a treatment plan that only involves her room and car. She insists that the whole place needs to be done and it’s unfair for her to carry the cost alone. I have refused to help pay, I’m perfectly fine if she doesn’t treat my room and only does her room (I lowkey think she’s being scammed by the company telling her she needs to do the whole house). I’ve told her even if she goes through with treating the whole house or even if there were bed bugs in my space, I would expect her to pay for the extermination since she’s the one her brought them home.
Now she’s annoyed with me making me feel like I’m being selfish and unreasonable for not wanting to help with the cost. But I honestly don’t see why I should pay for a problem I didn’t cause, especially when it’s only impacting her room.
AITA?
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> Refusing to pay for bed bug treatment in a shared house. That may make me the asshole since she’s now the one taking on the full cost even though it would include extermination in my room and other shared spaces.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
She is responsible for bringing them, so she is responsible for getting rid of them.
And the company is right. The whole house does need to be done. Bed bugs are an absolute nightmare to get rid of. As a semi-profession traveller, they are one of the things that I am acutely aware of.
I am actually amazed that any professional company is willing to do this for only $1,000. It can easily cost several times that. How deeply are they actually treating the place?
NTA
If there were other infected areas in the house I would say it is reasonable for you to split the cost because anyone can bring home bed bugs accidentally and treating the common area and your room benefits you but just because she may want to prophylactically treat other areas of the home does not mean you need to share the cost.
Also, depending on your state and lease your landlord may actually be responsible.
NTA. She invited the problem into your entire home. This is 100% her responsibility. There are a lot of ways to work with homeless and not pick up what they’re carrying…kwim?
>Now she’s annoyed with me making me feel like I’m being selfish and unreasonable for not wanting to help with the cost.
But isn’t she being selfish by exposing you to what she encounters in her line of work? You didn’t ask for that.
If I were you, I would require the entire place be done because you don’t mess with bed bugs. You just don’t. But she needs to pay for it because she is the cause of the problem. She brought them in, she needs to take them out.
Might be time for a new roommate too. :
NTA. She spilled the milk, she needs to mop it up.
NTA The infestation is confirmed to be in her car and her bedroom, not in your room or common areas. It’s unfair to expect you to pay half the $1000 for a problem you didn’t cause. If professionals truly thought the whole house needed treatment, they’d have found evidence in other rooms, which they didn’t. It sounds like she’s panicking and it’s reasonable for you to refuse to split the cost.
This is her responsibility to handle.
NTA
Of course the extermination company would recommend doing the whole house. They can “insist” on whatever they want. Roomie needs to pay on her own for the spaces that are infected.
NTA. Don’t room with her next year.
NTA, but just FYI, the company is not scamming you. Bedbugs can travel far and fast, and if even one egg-laying female escapes the treatment, you’ll have a whole infestation to treat again. A single room is never enough. This is a whole-building operation.
But yeah, your roommate should be solely responsible for the cost. She’s in a career/volunteer position (not sure which) that comes with risks. It’s up to her to mitigate those risks. That may mean having separate clothes for work and keeping them in a plastic bag and changing there, or regularly treating her car preventatively, or other measures, but it’s still on her to handle this.
NTA. If I were you I would nope right out of that living arrangement, bedbugs are a nightmare, and might not go away just because they are treated.
NTA She caused the problem and as such, she is responsible for remedying the issue. It’s not different than if she spilled red wine on the carpet or damaged an appliance; she would pay for the damage.
But OP, you gotta get out of there – move as soon as possible.
NTA.
If she solely caused the problem, she should solely solve the problem. Not only should she be held responsible for the treatment, but she should also be held responsible for any other related expenses. For example, if any of your belongings get damaged by the treatment or by the bugs, she should pay for it. If you need to stay at a hotel while the treatment is happening, she should pay for it. You could even make a reasonable case that she needs to compensate you for the inconvenience of having to live in a bug infested home.
She can’t harm you with a bug infestation and then respond by harming you a second time with a treatment bill.
To prevent this argument from happening again in the future, you should have a talk and come to a clear agreement about how these situations will be handled in the future. If you can’t come to an agreement that you can both accept, then it would be better to start looking for a different living arrangement.
Please go get “diatomaceous earth” and pour it along your bedroom door, apparently bed bugs can’t get past them or if they do, they will soon bleed to death from being cut up. Do a google search to confirm what I wrote it true
YOU NEED YOUR WHOLE HOUSE TREATED, IT IS REQUIRED TO GET RID OF THIS PLAGUE.
NTA, but if you don’t treat the whole house, you’ll have to pay for everything over again in a month when everything is covered in creepy crawlers and you have to quarantine. Those things spread like wildfire and you can’t see the babies. It’s a deeply fucked situation.
NTA, but do the whole house. If they have spread, and they do, it will be worse if not every room is treated. She pays for the treatment because she brought them home.
Meanwhile wash all your bedding and run through a hot dryer. Do this often .
NTA it’s her responsibility. The whole house does need to be done, but it’s on her to pay it
From experience –
Bedbugs are supreme hitchhikers. They also don’t care one bit about cleanliness, so that’s a moot point. They will travel to find a food source, can fit into spaces as narrow as a credit card, and can go for extended periods without feeding. So if even one female gets missed, the entire cycle can start over again.
It’s usually recommended to treat the entire property due to this, at least in areas where people rest (beds, sofas, etc).
You’re NTA but the $1000 cost is not unreasonable nor unexpected. She also needs to practice better prevention to avoid transporting them home from her work, and put what she can in the dryer on high heat after known exposure.
I would fork out $500 in a heartbeat to avoid getting bedbugs. They probably have to treat the entire house anyway because the most effective treatment is heat treating the house.
NTA for not wanting to, but I’d rather pay it and not have bedbugs. Which, fwiw, don’t care if you are clean or messy.
NTA but bed bugs spread FAST. If they’re in her room, they’ll be in the common areas and then your room so it’s better to get the whole place treated.
She pays for it all
Nta, but the whole place does need to be done, no matter what.
I live in an apartment and our units consist of clusters of 8. 2 buildings, each with 4 apartments, 2 on top, 2 below, the buildings facing each other. One of our neighbors moved out of our cluster and turned out they had bed bugs. Leasing office treated all 8 apartments, even though the two buildings are only connected by metal walkways. Infestations are that serious.
This is not something to mess around with. A single bed bug can lay up to 300 eggs. And they can live for up to a year without food. They can travel up to 12 feet over night. They’re useless little menaces, bit they’re resilient.
Have the whole place treated.
I had a similar issue with them being in 1 room only. I sprinkled diamectacious (unsure of spelling lol) Earth on the carpets, let it sit for at least an hour before vacuuming. Did this daily for 2 weeks. I also sprayed every surface I found them on with rubbing alcohol, which killed them on contact. I then sealed off EVERYTHING in the room in black garbage bags, closed the AC vent, and shut that door for a year. Let it get super hot in the summer, super cold in the winter, etc. When I opened it bank up, no bed bugs.
I know you can’t seal off her room for a year, but that part was very extreme of me and prolly not needed. The rest worked immediately.
ETA that you def should not have to pay as you did not bring them in and they are not in your area. Just be careful around her.
this is beyond asshole territory. split the cost. because one treatment will be cheaper than multiple if you dont treat the whole house.
you need a new room mate
NTA OP but they are not scamming your roommate. Not only the whole house should be treated, you need afaik two treatment sessions spaced weeks apart. They are tenacious and moves around quickly. And the second treatment is to get rid of the new hatchlings that might have survived the first. They are incestuous, and a single pregnant female can start a new infestation.
Make sure your roommate does not try to DIY. All that does is scatter them to other places.
And lastly, she should 100% pay for full treatment, but I would NOT die on this hill. You don’t want the risk of these creepy crawlers moving to your room.
NTA
She is right the whole house should be treated. She should pay for it.
You are t the one bringing home pestilence from the unwashed masses.
NTA but you are going to want to treat the entire place as they will relocate once treatment starts as they will move to get away from the treated area.
If she does what I think she does for work, and thats the reason bedbugs are present…she has the cash to pay the full $1000.
After that she or you needs to find another place to live.
NTA but you do need to do the whole house. Not only should she pay the full cost since it’s completely her fault, but the whole process of having to seal all the food in the house and prep for the treatment is a major inconvenience to you and you haven’t done anything wrong here.
You’re not the asshole. But pay it anyway… You don’t want bedbugs and you do need to treat the whole house. Even if she can talk them into only treating her room, there’s a good chance you’re going to get them in your room.
YTA.
Do you take the bus? Work in an office? Spend any amount of time in a public space? Guess what, you could bring home bedbugs too.
I’m not saying in this case that your roommate didn’t bring in the bedbugs. It’s very likely she did. What I’m saying is you can get bed bugs from anywhere. I got them from riding on the bus (most likely).
I think you’re being a ahole because you are placing the blame entirely on your roommate when you live there too. Yes, your whole house needs to be treated. If they fumigate her room only, they will just go to a safer room, so your room. Split the cost because this is a household issue.
It seems like pests like this are a reality for your roommate because of her job. If it really bothers you so much you should probably just move.
NAH, but get the whole house treated. Trust me, having been through this, you don’t want to deal with this nightmare again. The company wants to do this for a reason. Bedbugs travel. It’s likely the treatment will not be guaranteed if you don’t treat the whole house, so you’ll have to pay again when you discover them in the common space. Honestly you’re getting a deal if it’s only $1,000.
NTA
She should carry the weight of bringing them into your shared residence. What she does is commendable, but that doesn’t mean you should be responsible for the side effects.
But, having fought them before, the company is not trying to scam her with suggesting treating the whole house. Our landlord didn’t the first couple of times, and we couldn’t get rid of them. When they finally did treat the whole house, we never saw them again.
NTA but the whole house does need to be treated. The most effective way to kill bed bugs is heat, which is hard to spot treat anyways. If they are using heat, be sure to put anything that could melt or is heat sensitive (like meds) in the fridge or take them out with you. You also need to do something to make sure you don’t have any on your person when you leave so you don’t bring them back in. This could potentially be swapping into clothes you know are bug free and immediately putting the clothes you were wearing into the wash and use high heat on the dryer. I knew someone who had to do the bed bug treats three times because they kept bringing them back in.
Also, fwiw bed bugs can be picked up anywhere – trying on clothes at the mall, movie theater seat, etc. and they also don’t care about cleanliness. Assuming you’re in the US, they aren’t native to here which means they get brought in by someone traveling. That’s why you should always check your bed in a hotel room. The homeless people your friend is working with likely aren’t traveling themselves so a good chance she brought it home from a coworker rather than from a client.
NTA
Get the whole house done. You don’t wanna fuck around with bed bugs
She’s the cause of the infestation, she pays the cost
Kick her the fuck out/Move the fuck out. Exactly how many of her infestations are you going to tolerate?
Depending on where you live, often the landlord is responsible for paying for bedbug/ pest control
Something to look into!
(And definitely nta, hope you can stay bedbug free, those buggers are so brutal to get rid of!)
NTA!!! She brought them, she should pay for treatment. You should move though, they won’t be contained in her room. Good luck!
NTA but have you checked your lease? I’ve NEVER lived anywhere and it not be listed as the landlords responsibility to treat and pay for it. I got bed bugs in my mid 20s (suspect it came from my moving company but who can ever be sure). Told my landlord of a month and the next day my whole place was being treated and he said flat out I don’t care if you brought them or not there’s too many units to risk not doing the full place and I’ll hire a company I trust. You need to IMMEDIATELY get a bed bug cover on your mattress. You can be annoyed w your roommate but more importantly 1) maybe you guys shouldn’t be roommates if this keeps happening 2) it doesn’t remove how serious this problem is no matter how you feel about who pays for it. Do not under estimate how real this problem is. If they found them in a car AND in your place you have a bad problem on your hands. Early infestations are usually not even something you can detect.
NTA your roommate needs to learn accountability.
NTA, she should pay because she brought them in but trust me when I say the whole house should be treated and you do NOT want to mess around with these bugs. If she just pays for her room and treats it they will migrate to yours and then you will definitely have to pay.
Please get the entire place heat-treated! It’ll cost you way more financially and mentally if one travelled out of the room. I’m still dealing with the trauma of having them ten years ago and the paranoia that comes with it.
That would be money well spent. It’s unfortunate but if any are missed in your area, you will both be starting over. They are a nightmare to deal with. YTA.
i think it’s SO weird that she keeps bringing parasites home… my mom is an ER nurse & i can’t even begin to tell you how many times she’s come home after working w a patient w lice, bed bugs or scabies & NEVER brought that shit home w her. your rommatw is not being as careful & clean as she should be with LITERAL PARASITES. NTA. this is entirely her fault, the fact that they’re even in her car rly says a lot. i wouldn’t sign another lease with her.
You’re NTA for not wanting to pay for half. She didn’t take proper precautions even after the lesson with lice. That said, bed bugs are not something you want to mess around with. If she only pays for her car and room, you’ll be paying more than $500 to get rid of them when you have to bring the exterminator back to do the whole house. It only takes one to have an infestation. If she absolutely cannot afford it, find a way to get the whole house done ASAP. This needs addressed now.
Also, maybe stop living with her if possible.
NTA
I have friends who do this kind of work and they strip in their garage and immediately wash their clothes. It’s on her for not having proper care.
NTA
Get a new roommate
Tbf, I’d be inclined to agree the whole house needs doing. It only needs one bug to ‘travel’ from her room to the sitting room and then for you to pick it up and take it into your room and you’ve got a whole house infestation
However, I do agree she should be the one paying for it. She knows she’s working in these conditions, why isn’t she being more careful? Why isn’t she wearing PPE whilst at work?
The very least she should be doing is stripping off at the end of the day, bagging her clothes up to throw straight in the washer and showering before changing into clean clothes ready to go home. Yeah it’s a clat, but much better than taking shit home with you
Bedbugs are becoming notoriously more difficult to remove as they become more immune to treatments.
NTA
NTA. But whole house treatment is necessary.
Your roommate works for an actual organization addressing homelessness, or is this like her independent by herself mission? If she’s working for a business, they should be pressured to provide places for employees/volunteers to change clothes and shower daily as it’s not uncommon for homeless to experience lice, bed bugs, and other pests. It’s a good safety practice to shower and change before bringing it home with you.
Maybe NTA but very dumb. You have to treat the entire house to be safe and yes, you should pay half.
The whole place needs to be treated, and the roommate needs to pay it! She brought that mess home. I would also find another living arrangement. Who knows what she’ll bring home next.
NTA. She caused the problem, she solves the problem. Simple.
Info:
Is the landlord aware of bed bugs in the property?
I think you’re NTA, but you want to get this done ASAP and you very much do want the company to treat the whole apartment because you really don’t want a single bedbug left that got carried on her shoes from her bedroom into the rest of the apartment.
I would rather pay half AND GET IT DONE NOW than argue for a couple weeks and find out your living room has bedbugs, your belongings have bedbugs, everything you own has bedbugs.
Blame her later.
You need to get this done ASAP.