AITA for refusing to swap my concert tickets with my friend after she missed out on buying them?

r/

I (25F) have been a huge fan of [Popular Band] for years, and their concerts sell out fast. When tickets for their upcoming show went on sale, I set an alarm, joined the online queue, and managed to snag two great seats in the orchestra section after an hour of stress. My friend Sarah (26F) knew I was getting tickets and said she’d try too, but she didn’t act fast enough and missed out.

A few days ago, Sarah texted me, super upset, saying she really wanted to go but could only find nosebleed seats on a resale site for triple the price. She asked if I’d swap one of my tickets for hers so she could have a better view, offering to pay me the difference in original ticket price. I was hesitant because I’d planned to go with my brother, who’s also a huge fan and helped me cover the cost. Plus, I spent a lot of time and effort getting these seats.

I told Sarah I’d think about it, but the more I did, the less fair it seemed. She had the same chance to buy tickets but didn’t prioritize it, and now I’d be giving up a great seat I worked hard for. I suggested she could still go with her nosebleed ticket, and we could meet up before or after to hang out. She got really mad, saying I was being selfish and that “friends help each other out.” She pointed out that she’s done me favors, like driving me to the airport once last year, and said I was prioritizing a “better view” over our friendship.

I feel bad because Sarah’s clearly disappointed, and I don’t want to seem like I’m rubbing it in. But I don’t think it’s fair that I should give up my ticket just because she didn’t plan ahead. I worked hard for these seats, and my brother’s been looking forward to this for months. AITA for refusing to swap tickets with her?

Comments

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    I (25F) have been a huge fan of [Popular Band] for years, and their concerts sell out fast. When tickets for their upcoming show went on sale, I set an alarm, joined the online queue, and managed to snag two great seats in the orchestra section after an hour of stress. My friend Sarah (26F) knew I was getting tickets and said she’d try too, but she didn’t act fast enough and missed out.

    A few days ago, Sarah texted me, super upset, saying she really wanted to go but could only find nosebleed seats on a resale site for triple the price. She asked if I’d swap one of my tickets for hers so she could have a better view, offering to pay me the difference in original ticket price. I was hesitant because I’d planned to go with my brother, who’s also a huge fan and helped me cover the cost. Plus, I spent a lot of time and effort getting these seats.

    I told Sarah I’d think about it, but the more I did, the less fair it seemed. She had the same chance to buy tickets but didn’t prioritize it, and now I’d be giving up a great seat I worked hard for. I suggested she could still go with her nosebleed ticket, and we could meet up before or after to hang out. She got really mad, saying I was being selfish and that “friends help each other out.” She pointed out that she’s done me favors, like driving me to the airport once last year, and said I was prioritizing a “better view” over our friendship.

    I feel bad because Sarah’s clearly disappointed, and I don’t want to seem like I’m rubbing it in. But I don’t think it’s fair that I should give up my ticket just because she didn’t plan ahead. I worked hard for these seats, and my brother’s been looking forward to this for months. AITA for refusing to swap tickets with her?

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  2. Judgement_Bot_AITA Avatar

    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > I’m refusing to swap one of my good concert tickets with my friend Sarah’s nosebleed ticket. I believe I might be the asshole because I prioritized keeping my seat over helping a friend who’s really upset about missing out. Sarah called me selfish and said I’m putting a “better view” over our friendship, which made me wonder if I’m being unfair by not compromising, especially since she’s done favors for me in the past, like driving me to the airport. I might be wrong for not valuing her feelings or our friendship enough in this situation.

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  3. Cool-Mom-acc2-MatPat Avatar

    NTA, especially given that your brother is a big fan. If your second seat was for someone who really didn’t care, then maybe I would feel differently about it.

  4. duckoffthanks Avatar

    NTA. It’s hilarious she’s saying you’re prioritizing a better view over friendship when she’s doing exactly that. Like you don’t owe anyone a better seat cause they are your friends when they were too lazy to put on the work.

  5. Caspian4136 Avatar

    NTA

    You made it a priority to get the good tickets, she didn’t and lost out. Not only that, but you got them for you and your brother, which he paid for his ticket it sounds like (or most of it anyway).

    All of this could have been avoided if you told her straight away it was already your brother’s and he paid for it.

  6. Gemfyre1 Avatar

    Nta. Seems SHE is the one prioritizing the seat over friendship. Rather than be happy for you, she wants to take what’s yours. If this is all it takes, so be it. Be glad it didn’t happen over something important, because she would have betrayed you.

  7. Brilliant_Ad2521 Avatar

    NTA. Please enjoy the concert with your brother. Her poor planning is not your fault.

  8. unhingedemmi Avatar

    nta but next time if you know a friend also wants tickets, try to buy some for her and have her send you the money. you could even have her venmo you ahead of time if you dont have the extra cash.

  9. Ok-Topic3213 Avatar

    NTA…those are your tickets. Your friend is trying to take advantage of your relationship.

  10. urgasmic Avatar

    i don’t really understand what is meant by swapping tickets.

    anyway you have two tickets that are already going to people who paid for them. She isn’t entitled to them end of. NTA.

  11. dohbriste Avatar

    NTA. If she knew you were going to get tickets and wanted to go too, she could have asked you to order 3-4 and paid you back, or else tried as diligently as you did. She did neither of those. You’re not obligated to give up a ticket and she’s not entitled to hold that against you just because she’s mad she didn’t get her way.

  12. Swimming-City-5001 Avatar

    Story sounds suspect. Obviously NTA, to the point why would you think otherwise.

  13. Thriillsy Avatar

    You are NTA for keeping your seats and your friend is wrong for trying to throw the help that she has given you in the past in your face to try guilt you into giving her your tickets.

    Depending on how your friend is, this could end your friendship, but honestly, if it does just let it go. she’s not being a good friend, because a good friend would not ask you to give up something like this for themselves. They might be disappointed at missing out on the good seats or the experience, but they would at the very least be excited for you to have the opportunity to see something that they know you like just as much, if not more than them.

  14. Acceptable-Original Avatar

    Go with your brother..

  15. ScarletNotThatOne Avatar

    NTA. When she drove you to the airport, that didn’t make her miss her own flight. You bought your tickets, you invited your brother, and there’s no reason for you to change your plans. I have no idea why she thinks she’s entitled to your ticket.

  16. hedwigflysagain Avatar

    NTA, disappointment is part of life. She is an adult and will get over it.

  17. Ahrjun Avatar

    NTA.

    I wouldn’t have told her I’d think about it. It would have been an easy no as you already made this plan with your brother. End of story.

  18. nyancient Avatar

    This has to be AI slop, I refuse to believe that neither of you had the brain cells to suggest that you get the tickets for Sarah too while you were at it. 

  19. SoThereWasThis Avatar

    NTA. You shouldn’t have even entertained her suggestion. You bought tickets for you and your brother (who contributed financially). This should’ve been a straight “No I’m sorry my tickets are spoken for.”

  20. Ugly4merican Avatar

    NTA for not swapping… but it was kinda assholey to say you would think about it to give her any hope. Should have just immediately said “Sorry, my brother is going with me.”

  21. MrTitius Avatar

    NTA. She sounds super entitled and irresponsible to boot. Go with brother and enjoy the great seats!

  22. Ok_Tonight_3703 Avatar

    NTA. Sarah is actually the one “prioritizing a better view” over your friendship.

    Friends do favors for their friends. Friends do not score keep favors. Real friends do not stoop to guilt trips to get what they want.

    Stop entertaining her bullshit. Enjoy those great seats with your brother.

  23. Ok_Blackberry_7650 Avatar

    The irony is isn’t she prioritizing a better view over your friendship also? Like others said, she should’ve either tried harder or asked you to help out beforehand if she was preoccupied. Definitely NTA, enjoy the good seats with your brother!

  24. bopperbopper Avatar

    “ sorry I already promised it to my brother and he’s already paid for the ticket”

  25. Prestigious-Bluejay5 Avatar

    If you plan on going with your brother, who has already helped to cover the cost of the tickets, is it really your ticket to give away/swap? I think not.

  26. Natural_Garbage7674 Avatar

    NTA. “I bought tickets for myself and someone else. They gave me the money and bought the ticket off me the day I got them. I only have one ticket, mine, and I’m not swapping with you.”

  27. casually_dreaming Avatar

    NTA at all. You planned ahead, set alarms, and worked hard to get those tickets. It’s not your responsibility that Sarah didn’t act quickly enough and missed out. Her poor planning doesn’t mean you’re obligated to give up your seats, especially when you bought them with your brother in mind, and he helped cover the cost.

    Also, I don’t think it’s fair to compare a ride to the airport to giving up one of your concert tickets. Friends do nice things for each other, but that doesn’t mean she’s entitled to your tickets just because she helped you out once. You’ve never kept track of favors like that, and I personally wouldn’t guilt a friend into giving me something as big as a concert ticket because we share similar interests.

    You also don’t owe Sarah a detailed breakdown of how much your brother paid for his ticket or why he’s coming with you. That’s personal information, and the important thing here is that your brother wanted to go with you, and you’re honoring that plan. You’re not being selfish by keeping the seats you worked for.

    If Sarah feels like this is a friendship issue, she might want to rethink what friendship really means. It’s not about keeping score and expecting people to give up things they’ve worked for just because of a past favor or shared interests.

    TL;DR: NTA. Sarah’s poor planning isn’t your problem, and you’re not selfish for keeping your concert tickets. You don’t owe her an explanation or to give up your seat just because she missed out.

  28. PrestigiousFace6756 Avatar

    NTA, what kind of friend would even ask you to do that or bring up that she gave you a ride.

  29. Peskanov Avatar

    Your brother already helped pay for the tickets so that other ticket is not yours to sell.

  30. PurBldPrincess Avatar

    NTA. She’s a big girl and needs to suck up her mistakes. If she wanted the tickets as bad as she seems to claim she would have made the same effort you did.

  31. Adventurous-Term5062 Avatar

    NTA she is prioritizing the better view. You wanted the tickets just as much as her – you just made the right arrangements. You owe her nothing.

  32. Mysterious-Worry9812 Avatar

    NTA, Dont be like Sarah guys haha. Enjoy the concert with your brother and take cute pictures for memories.
    xoxo.

  33. Epsilon_and_Delta Avatar

    LOL sorry but driving a friend to the airport isn’t the same as spending an hour or more online trying to get hot tickets to a concert and paying big money for that. And I say that as someone who has been driven to the airport by a friend.

    Is she even offering to pay you for it? Or does she just except a ticket swap which is hella entitled.

  34. WorriedTurnip6458 Avatar

    NTA – you had a plan with your brother who is also a fan. End of story.

  35. journeyintopressure Avatar

    NTA. If she wanted better seats she should have planned for it. Tell her no and if she keeps trying to guil-trip you, lose her number.

  36. SomebodySweet Avatar

    Wow. Bots sure have interesting things happen to them. They need to pick better friends. 🙁

  37. No_Click7409 Avatar

    Actually, she is prioritizing good seats over friendship.

  38. LowBalance4404 Avatar

    NTA. You already promised one of the tickets to your brother and this is an experience the two of you want to share together. I’d remind her of that. It’s not about her, it’s about a promise you already made to your sibling.

  39. ladysaraii Avatar

    NTA but were you planning to try to go together? Why not both join the queue and get 3 tickets together?

  40. tcorey2336 Avatar

    NTA. Blood is thicker than water. Your brother is blood. Your stupid friend is water.

  41. Shortestbreath Avatar

    NTA for prioritizing your brother over Sarah. She will have to settle for the seats she can get. 

  42. Twig-Hahn Avatar

    Not only no but hell no. Shalom you’re loved 💔

  43. Inevitable_Youth_495 Avatar

    NTA. Nope. You got your tix that you wanted and paid for. There’s no such thing as swapping for nosebleed seats! That would be ludicrous!

  44. TheMagicCat0622 Avatar

    They are your tickets. How does she figure that she is entitled to one of them? Why does she imagine that you would let your brother sit in the nosebleed seats?
    Her demand does not make any sense.

  45. ThatTotal2020 Avatar

    NTA

    She wants you to ditch your brother so that she can have a better seat? She’s ridiculous

  46. CandylandCanada Avatar

    She wants you to prioritize her over your brother. The only thing that you did wrong was consider her outrageous request.

    NTA

  47. Labradawgz90 Avatar

    NTA- I read that she blocked you. I hate when people say things like, “I took you to the airport.” Have you NEVER done anything nice for your friend. She is making your friendship transactional. I am really good about working at my friendships. And when someone starts that, I tell them, if you want to start tit for tat, you are going to lose so hard. Because not only do I go out of my way for my friends, but, if they pull that crap of holding something over my head, we aren’t friends anymore. I do things for my friends and I don’t ask for something in exchange. I do it because I care. Now if there’s a relationship that is one sided, that’s a different story.

  48. pineychick Avatar

    It seems like in all of these AITA cases, someone else is berating the OP and telling the OP they are selfish for not surrendering to their selfish request.

    Entitlement runs rampant and is ridiculous.

  49. Limp_Movie_7958 Avatar

    She dusky want your company, just your ticket. If she really wanted your company, she’d be asking you to sell your good seats & join her in the nosebleed section.

  50. Mywordsandopinion Avatar

    NTA. But your friend is for thinking she should take priority over your brother.

  51. Witty_Candle_3448 Avatar

    How nice to share the concert with your brother. You two will have fun and a great memory. Having a healthy and strong relationship with your family is a priceless gift that can last a lifetime. Value it. Your friend is trying to guilt you into giving her something she didn’t earn. Her selfishness and entitlement will doom the friendship.

  52. fIumpf Avatar

    NTA. Sarah can pony up and bring binoculars if it’s that important.

    Poor planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on yours.

  53. Honest-Row-5818 Avatar

    She will live it’s only a concert lesson learned buy early, favors of the past were because of friendship not to be held as a bond over your head to collect later.

  54. Foreign-Bug6186 Avatar

    NTA, no explanation needed other than she is a cruddy friend. Please for the love of everything in the universe, do not give in to her. Her fault she didn’t prioritize trying to get better tickets, if she likes the band that much, she should be happy to enjoy the show from the seats she decided to buy. And probably don’t meet up with her after, as she’ll mostly like be a brat about your seats. Don’t let her ruin your night.

  55. Dry_Palpitation3697 Avatar

    NTA. If she wanted better seats, she should have prioritized getting in the queue to get them. When it comes to things like a concert, my besties and I just work it out that one of us gets tickets, someone else buys a meal, and someone else buys gas/incidentally. Then we also rotate things like that and don’t keep a record of whose turn it is. We just do for each other with no expectations of one upping each other. It’s more about having experiences together, since we 5 are all so busy living, when we DO get together, we just are grateful to be together.

  56. friendlily Avatar

    You would be the AH to do this to your brother so I don’t know how you’re even contemplating this. If you feel bad, show her some sympathy. 

    Her ask was pretty rude in and of itself and you’re never obligated to give up something for someone else who didn’t put in as much effort. NTA

  57. Mommabroyles Avatar

    NTA but why did you tell her you’d think about it. Your brother helped pay for those tickets do unless you are going to sit in her bad seat then you sunny have a ticket to trade. Tell her no, my brother paid pitched in, the other ticket is his.

  58. writierthanyou Avatar

    YTA for even considering ditching your brother when he helped you get the tickets. You should have shut her down when she first asked. Stop entertaining her whining and block her if she keeps it up.