I (24F) work at a coffee shop with a small, tight-knit team. We rely on each other to cover shifts when life happens, and I’ve always been covering for coworkers emergencies, staying late, you name it. One coworker, Jake (30M), has a reputation for being unreliable. A few months ago, he begged me to take his closing shift because he had a family emergency. I rearranged my plans, covered for him, and later found out he just wanted to go to a concert. I was annoyed but let it slide. Last week, Jake asked me to swap shifts so he could attend a friend’s birthday party. I’d have to work a double shift on my only day off that week, which I’d planned to spend with my sister who’s visiting from out of town. I politely said no, explaining I had plans. Jake got upset, saying I was being selfish and that “we’re supposed to be a team.” He even brought it up in front of our manager, who didn’t take sides but seemed annoyed at the drama.
AITA for refusing to swap shifts with Jake?
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I (24F) work at a coffee shop with a small, tight-knit team. We rely on each other to cover shifts when life happens, and I’ve always been covering for coworkers emergencies, staying late, you name it. One coworker, Jake (30M), has a reputation for being unreliable. A few months ago, he begged me to take his closing shift because he had a family emergency. I rearranged my plans, covered for him, and later found out he just wanted to go to a concert. I was annoyed but let it slide. Last week, Jake asked me to swap shifts so he could attend a friend’s birthday party. I’d have to work a double shift on my only day off that week, which I’d planned to spend with my sister who’s visiting from out of town. I politely said no, explaining I had plans. Jake got upset, saying I was being selfish and that “we’re supposed to be a team.” He even brought it up in front of our manager, who didn’t take sides but seemed annoyed at the drama.
AITA for refusing to swap shifts with Jake?
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NTA
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Jake’s been having a rough time lately (he mentioned some personal stuff, though he was vague), and I could’ve made it work by cutting my sister’s visit short. I’ve swapped shifts with others before, so maybe it looks like I’m singling him out. But after he lied about the “emergency” last time, I don’t trust him, and I really didn’t want to give up my rare family time.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
> He even brought it up in front of our manager, who didn’t take sides but seemed annoyed at the drama.
Fuck this ‘swap’ nonsense.
Scheduling time off and finding alternate coverage is the job of the manager.
NTA, you don’t owe this flake anything. Manager SHOULD be taking sides and telling Jake that No means No.
I think your title is misleading. Jake didn’t flake on you before if you haven’t asked him to cover for you and he changed his mind last minute. What you described is him asking you to switch swifts but used a significant lie (family emergency) instead of telling you the truth (concert) because he probably knows that given his reputation you will say no.
Anyway, NTA for not wanting to cover for him. No without a reason is still a good no. But you also have a good reason.
Edit: typo
NTA. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
YTA. You need to accomodate this smarter employee by taking his shift. Its not his fault that you are pretending to be mad about “seeing your sister” (lie) and you should work this double shift to give him the opportunity to go to this birthday party that he deserves to experience.
You are mad because you dont get invited to social events and want this noble and reliable employee to be as miserable as you.
NTA. Jake is TA. He didn’t get his way so he insulted you.
NTA. His plans aren’t more important than yours, especially when his are last minute.
NTA
Jake needs to learn not to bite the hand that feeds him.
NTA. You don’t need a reason to decline switching shifts with a coworker, plans or otherwise. He’s scheduled what he’s scheduled. That’s not your problem.
NTAH. No, Jake’s failure to plan ahead, doesn’t constitute an emergency on your part. Boundaries are good. You need to know that you’re not doing anything wrong. It isn’t as if he needs to go to a funeral.
NTA you are entitled to a life. I would have said in front of the manager how many times you covered for his fake emergencies.
NTA. You have plans. You aren’t required to switch. Just forget about it. Let him complain all he wants.