Growing up with divorced parents, I (14/M) mostly hang out with my mom (40/F) and stepdad(40/M) but I spend every other weekend with my dad (48/M) and his girlfriend, Natacha (44/F). At first, things were chill with my dad, and even though I only met Natacha in 2023, we got along pretty well.
But over time, I noticed she often sided with my dad, even when he wasn’t being fair to my mom or me. Natacha had a habit of getting involved in my personal stuff, pushing me to share things I’d rather keep private. This created a lot of tension, especially when she dismissed my feelings or tried to defend my dad’s harsh behavior. These experiences slowly messed up my relationship with both of them.
For example, during an Easter family gathering at a restaurant, we ate and had a good time. I had my dad sit in the middle so I don’t sit by her, after the food, we were getting ready to take family photos, It was fun, but when Natacha went in the photo, right next to me, I moved away because I didn’t wanna be by her. I would not want to be around someone who defended someone who was mean to my mother. Anyway, I walked away, which she definitely noticed and mentioned to my dad. This led to my her texting him, trying to guilt trip, and he called me stubborn to her. My dad texted me manipulating me, telling me I made her cry, which is manipulation because she was not crying. He forced me to hug her, but i declined, I did not apologize, as she put this on herself. In the end, if Natacha had been more understanding and less defensive of my dad’s actions, she would’ve maybe gotten different treatment. AITA?
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Growing up with divorced parents, I (14/M) mostly hang out with my mom (40/F) and stepdad(40/M) but I spend every other weekend with my dad (48/M) and his girlfriend, Natacha (44/F). At first, things were chill with my dad, and even though I only met Natacha in 2023, we got along pretty well.
But over time, I noticed she often sided with my dad, even when he wasn’t being fair to my mom or me. Natacha had a habit of getting involved in my personal stuff, pushing me to share things I’d rather keep private. This created a lot of tension, especially when she dismissed my feelings or tried to defend my dad’s harsh behavior. These experiences slowly messed up my relationship with both of them.
For example, during an Easter family gathering at a restaurant, we ate and had a good time. I had my dad sit in the middle so I don’t sit by her, after the food, we were getting ready to take family photos, It was fun, but when Natacha went in the photo, right next to me, I moved away because I didn’t wanna be by her. I would not want to be around someone who defended someone who was mean to my mother. Anyway, I walked away, which she definitely noticed and mentioned to my dad. This led to my her texting him, trying to guilt trip, and he called me stubborn to her. My dad texted me manipulating me, telling me I made her cry, which is manipulation because she was not crying. He forced me to hug her, but i declined, I did not apologize, as she put this on herself. In the end, if Natacha had been more understanding and less defensive of my dad’s actions, she would’ve maybe gotten different treatment. AITA?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
A gentle YTA. It sounds like you have some very reasonable issues with Natacha, but refusing to stand next to her in a photo is a childish way of handling it.
NTA. If they want you to be more comfortable with her, forcing her on you is not the way to get there.
Good for you for doing what’s right for you, and not letting them force you.
ESH – so you’re ok sitting next to your Dad who was the mean (in your opinion) person but not next to his GF who imo committed the lesser offence of defending her BF.
I get it – we hate the other woman or man more than we hate the parent that actually should owe some duty or care.
I just think that’s a messed up way of looking at it.
NTA – your dads gf is not entitled to touching you, or knowing personal things about you. people really need to understand that not all adults are safe, and even if she is, you’re not required to like her or build a relationship with her just bc your dad is dating her.
ESH to different degrees.
So you take a brave and bold stand against your dad’s girlfriend by refusing to be next to her in a photo, and the reason is that she sides with your dad – but you have no problem taking photos with your dad? Dafuq?
I’m no therapist, but this sounds like you subconsciously know that you can’t do jack about your dad being a jerk, so your brain is directing your anger and frustration towards his girlfriend instead because you can hate and hurt her in relative peace. I don’t think that makes you an a-hole, that’s just what your mind resorted to in order to deal with the situation, but it’s still misdirected.
That’s not to say that she’s in the clear, though. Trying to force a bond with a partner’s child from a previous relationship always backfires, and by now even the last cave-dweller should know that.
And your dad just sounds like a whole bucket of greatness.
Well, I guess your mom is all right, so there’s that at least.
Nta. The other posters are wrong.
You’re fully entitled to feel how you feel about this woman. You are a human who has emotions which are as valid as anyone else.
If you don’t want to be near her, don’t. If you don’t like how she acts towards you, tell her. If your dad gets his oar in, tell him ‘your opinion is not wanted or cared about. You don’t get to dictate my feelings. You will hear me and respect my choices or you will get out of my orbit.’
NTA, if you’re uncomfortable with her that’s your right